5 UP The Pedal Pub
It’s a common scenario for the amateur cyclist: your club’s alcohol-based social event is drawing to a close, and you’re faced with the decision to either go home or continue the revelry elsewhere. Well, worry no longer, because everyone can now do both thanks to a bit of Dutch ingenuity. Boasting speeds of up to – gasp! – 5mph, the Pedal Pub is a steel 10-seater bicycle equipped with a barrel, a beer tap, cup holders and a sound system. What could possibly go wrong? The only drawback is a possible increase in membership fees to cover costs, as each Pedal Pub costs a sobering £26,000.
4 DOWN Riding through London at street level
Blah blah double the number of cyclists in London blah blah blah £913million investment blah blah blah safety measures blah blah blah cycle lane on the Westway blah bl… hold on – we’re going to be able to go up in the air and cycle above the streets? Like E.T.? WHY IS EVERYONE NOT TOTALLY EXCITED BY THIS?!
3 UP Robot police bikes
Another overlooked yet totally mind-blowing feature of London mayor Boris Johnson’s 10-year vision for cycling in the capital is a plan to give police electric bikes that can climb stairs. That’s got to be one cop chase we’d all love to see. Especially the bit where the officer says, “Go go gadget legs!” and a pair of telescopic limbs sprouts from the cranks.
2 UP Geoffrey Soupe
The Paris-Nice prologue proved to be a magnifique day for the French, who took half the positions in the top ten, including a surprise victory courtesy of Europcar’s Damien Gaudin. France’s domination was augured by Geoffrey Soupe of FDJ taking an early lead, although it was obvious he was unlikely to win. Soupe’s just for starters.
1 UP The organisers of Milan-San Remo
Tom Boonen angrily quit, Robbie Hunter’s eyeball froze, and Gerald Ciolek took a surprise win for his Pro Continental wildcard team MTN Qhubeka. But the truly remarkable aspect of La Primavera’s snow-smothered 104th edition was that it went ahead at all. Packing the riders into their team buses, skipping the Turchino and La Manie and resuming the race 54km from the finish ensured we got to witness a truly historic race – so, ultimately, it was Mauro Vegni and his fellow race officials from RCS who turned out to be the real heroes of the day. Well done, you lot!