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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #184, 06.06.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, light rain, 19C max, wind N 10mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 22C max, wind N 8mph +++
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FLUSHED WITH SUCCESS
+++ Delahunty on div champs’ podium after toilet trouble +++
Known for weaving through the peloton at devilish speeds with his eye fixed firmly on the chequered flag, McEwenesque marvel PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY has earned a reputation over the years for his tremendous guts – and it was precisely that part of the compact sprinter’s anatomy that got him into a messy situation after doing hill reps in Richmond Park with tag team partner TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT on Wednesday night. The nibbling New Zealander had consumed an entire tub of Marks and Spencer mini-bite flapjacks during the course of his working day, leaving his digestive system in such a severe state that he was forced to track down a Royal Parks official to unlock one of the men’s toilet facilities. Hunched double and running in cleats, pain-struck Paul managed to enter a cubicle and extricate himself from his bib shorts just in time – but readers of a sensitive disposition may want to turn away now, as apparently he wasn’t quite “on target”. Let’s just say he performed a clean-up operation before heading home and we’ll leave it at that. This publication Dyna-mailed Paul for his side of the story and received a blank e-mail by way of reply, which probably translates as “no comment”. In any case, the Kiwi crackerjack put the incident behind him on Sunday by taking a hugely impressive 3rd place at the Central Region Road Championship in Wing, Beds, where he found himself in the chasing group with DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE before Tony Gibb blasted away and the bunch caught the rest of them. Later, Paul’s pal Tom jumped, taking Simon Gaywood to his PCA pal Gibb, who powered away less than a mile from the finish to win the 88-mile E/1/2/3 event. Hemmant, who was swamped on the line, says of his pal’s bunch sprint result: “Paul is very casual about getting 3rd but it is brilliant considering the competition and the fact that the finishing hill was a bit long and steep for his lardy backside.” Cheeky! Earlier on that same hill, JASON ‘WILLS’ GREEN took 5th in the 46-mile 3/4 race, which earned him the six points required to reach 2nd cat… http://tinyurl.com/6g6x44 …and speaking of newly-upgraded ‘Mos, RICHARD ‘AV IT’ HOULT bagged a massive result by taking 3rd at the South East champs… http://tinyurl.com/5u2yeg. Keen as ever to shine the light on others’ achievements, Tom comments: “This is an awesome ride by anyone’s standards and even more so for a new second cat. He seems to be a decent guy as well and isn’t big-headed about it.” But two Dynamates have been keeping even quieter about their podium finishes – so come with us now to a glitzy awards ceremony across the Channel as the duo are handed bouquets of flowers. Here comes the sweet smell of success…
A CHEER IN PROVENCE
+++ Mason and Kenneway shine at L’Epervier +++
One of the most memorable Dyna-misadventures chronicled in DYNAMITE! was GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY’s interruption of a wedding reception two years ago in Provence, where he begged for a can of Coke by announcing to the father of the bride in questionable French: “I am searching for sugar.” The carb-depleted ‘Mo was forced to make the request after missing the feeding stations at Le Trophée de L’Epervier – but he was rather more fortunate in this year’s edition of the ultra-competitive sportive, which saw him take 6th overall and 3rd in the 30-39 age group. The Fulham firecracker’s chum RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON outdid him by achieving 2nd overall and winning the same age category as Gordon, thus providing the Dyna-marvellous sight of Britain’s best cycling club dominating a continental podium… http://tinyurl.com/5g59yw. Nice one, fellas! Delighted Rich, who completed the 82-mile course in 04:00:13, reveals: “The pace was high from the off. Early on, another London-based rider said to us, ‘Bloody hell – it’s just like being at Hillingdon on a Tuesday night!’ The only quip I could come up with at short notice was: ‘Don’t worry, mate – there are only 400 of us in this event!'” Weeks of Mallorcan climbing paid off for the ginger Kiwi during the 43 miles of hills, including the seven-mile ascent of Col des Notre Dame des Agnes – but Rich adds: “The final three miles were incredibly tough and I got tailed off from the lead of the race. We formed a small chase group when over the top and got to the peak of the final climb together. Most of them were in a different race, so I rode the nine miles downhill at full speed and finished alone for 2nd place. The winner, who was in the group up the road, also soloed home.” Unlucky JAMES KINMONT nursed a badly damaged wheel to the finish in Cogolin after breaking a spoke, while CHARLIE ‘HARDY’ PEARCH was seething after being directed off-course – but spare a thought for CHRISTIAN KINMONT, whose call of nature was interrupted by a pack of dogs chasing him down the street, one of whom chomped into his ankle and briefly remained attached as he turned the pedals. Ouch!
RICHARD THE FIRST
+++ Simmonds ends his strop +++
He had been sulking since his under-par performance at the national ’10’ champs – but RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS finally put a smile back on his chops by taking 1st place at the Westerly CC 25-mile time trial in Bentley, Hants, on Sunday. The cycling coach clocked 51:16, knocking almost two minutes off his personal best, and he was impressed by PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN pulling 55 minutes flat after two weeks off the bike. Rich’s missus JENNY ‘J-LLOYD’ JONES went one minute over the hour mark… http://tinyurl.com/5fqxg6 …due to a mechanical fault forcing her to stick to a 53×16 maximum – but she’ll be back in action with her high-achieving fella at the nationals on Sunday. Good luck to you both!
RIDE ON TIME
+++ Get to Richmond Park for 8.30am tomorrow +++
They say bad luck comes in threes – so after Crystal Palace getting rained off on Tuesday, the Dynamo website briefly going down and the Central Champs support race getting an eight-mile tour of Bedfordshire’s finest roundabouts as the lead car searched for the start of the circuit, it would appear that the shift of the Parkride’s start time is destined to go to plan. But just to make sure, DYNAMITE! is going to remind you anyway. From tomorrow until the end of the summer, the Parkride will begin at 8.30am, NOT 9am. Set your alarm clocks, Dynamates!
…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY 2nd at Hillingdon E/1/2/3 race on Tuesday, with lead-out man TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT taking 8th and GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN leading the bunch home by taking 9th +++ ROB ‘HAPPY, HAPPY’ HARROLD moves up to 3rd cat after getting into a seven-man break at the Hillingdon fours race and finishing 6th +++ Newcomer ADAM FREEMAN thanks the ‘Mos on the 8am Sunday ride for their patience with him on the climbs, adding: “I was obviously in the wrong group!” +++
THRONE OVER
The chain is about to be pulled on this edition, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent in stuff this week before we rise from the throne. Always remember we are but a humble ballcock to your mighty cistern, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the chain snaps, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
PLEASE NOTE NEW START TIME! 8.30am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps
split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a roll of Andrex.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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