The DYNAMITE! Files

————————————————————–
DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #196, 29.08.08
————————————————————————–
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 27C max, wind SE 8mph; Sun, thundery showers, 25C max, wind SW 8mph +++
————————————————————————–

AUSTIN POWERS TO VICTORY
+++ Delight for mentor Delahunty +++
Like his political bike-riding namesake, well-spoken newcomer CAMERON ‘STEVE’ AUSTIN is poised for the inevitable Dyna-moment when he takes centre stage in the near future – and the promising lad’s spin doctor PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY was sporting a Mandelsonian grin on Saturday when the crafty Kiwi’s white-jerseyed protégé soloed to victory at the Hillingdon 4th cat event, which happened to be the talented 21-year-old’s very first race. Not content with masterminding rainbow-banded Cam’s victory, multitasking Paul also worked as domestique for his tag team pal TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT and GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN, dragging them to the break which allowed them to claim 3rd and 5th respectively in the E/1/2/3 race. Their chasing group chums RICHARD ‘AV IT’ HOULT and SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON took 6th and 9th… http://tinyurl.com/5gju53 …before the bunch was lead home by Delahunty, who was probably relieved that his mobile didn’t ring during the 70-minute-plus-five-laps race as it would have indicated that his pregnant wife was about to bring Monty junior into the world. It may be the onset of fatherhood and the limited racing schedule it will entail that prompted Paul to grab the remaining points needed to attain his elite licence around 24 hours later – so come with us now to Outwood in Surrey to discover the unfortunate incidents that he managed to avoid during his path to glory. Let’s keep an eye out for the street furniture…

CHAIN REACTION
+++ Garratt sparks run of bad luck before win +++
Having stuffed himself full on Sunday, peeved pasta-gobbler MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT was left wondering why he had bothered after he became the first of three ‘Mos to bow out of the 1/2/3 Surrey League race on the daunting Bletchingley circuit, thanks to his chain snapping halfway up the first climb into the eponymous village. Kingmaker PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY later watched his 8am Sunday ride protégé CAMERON ‘STEVE’ AUSTIN move clear of the bunch, only for the newly-upgraded 3rd cat to slam straight into a traffic island and somersault metres into the air before landing head-first and bruising both his arms. Ow! Plucky Cam, who was otherwise unscathed, had every intention of getting back into the race until a resolute marshal banished the idea by pointing to a huge crack in the downtube of his red Madone – and France-bound ‘Mo SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON made a swift exit a short while later when two spokes pinged from his rear wheel. As they say in his adoptive home country, zut alors! That left TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT and RICHARD ‘AV IT’ HOULT to prevent any further moves by keeping the pace high, which gave PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY the chance to unleash his trademark sprint and win the 68-mile race by several bike lengths before his domestiques took the last two places in the top 10… http://tinyurl.com/5mloas. Great teamwork and an emphatic victory – what a brilliant way to get your elite licence, pal!

LADY OF THE NIGHT
+++ Dynamette takes gong in near-darkness +++
The sun quite literally set on racing at Crystal Palace for the foreseeable future as CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN picked up a somewhat masculine-looking figurine for Best Lady at the Tuesday night series’ dusky awards ceremony this week. The tough Classics buff, whose Surrey League team are poised to take the Women’s Series, had calmed down after a Twickenham lady mistakenly bumped her in the sprint for the line, while TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT and STUART ‘EASY’ SPIES took unconfirmed top 10 places in the men’s E/1/2 race. Chuffed Stu was delighted when the organisers presented him with an envelope containing £50 for an early-season placing in the 3rd cat race and a couple of other minor results. The lusty Saffa will no doubt be returning to some of south-west London’s more glamorous nightspots to blow that half-ton. Women of Wimbledon, watch out!

PARTY’S OVER
We’ve come to the end of another party conference, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff for this issue before the stage-managed standing ovation “spontaneously” erupts. Always remember we are a hoodie in need of a hug, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we look forward to a more compassionate right-wing agenda, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
8.30am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps
split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a quiet man who is turning up the volume… http://tinyurl.com/5gq8ad.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

This entry was posted on November 14, 2010 at 2:47 pm and is filed under DYNAMITE! filed.