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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #153, 03.08.07
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 25C max, wind SW 12mph; Sun, light rain, 27C max, wind SW 7mph +++
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GENDER CONFUSION
+++ Results mix-up at MoD+++
As the world’s leading source of Dynamatic information, DYNAMITE! is frequently asked by inquisitive ‘Mos to name unknown members whom they have met on their travels – and although we pride ourselves on the ability to identify some of the club’s 400-strong membership from their choice of helmet or sock colour, there have been Dyna-moments when our Dyna-memory has failed us. Thankfully, the 3rd cat race at MoD Chertsey which took place more than a fortnight ago wasn’t one of those occasions, which is
why there was astonishment among the editorial team as top-five finisher TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY was relegated to 52nd when the official results finally surfaced this week, while CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN, who rolled in with the bunch, is listed as 4th… http://tinyurl.com/3ctr3s. Without wishing to be indelicate, the judges facing the riders on the line would have been able to spot a couple of noticeable clues which distinguish Dynamette Charlie from Dynamate Tony, although the Boudica of Barnes is unlikely to be concerned at the confusion after nailing 4th on Sunday at the Sutton Town Centre women’s event, which saw her chase the leading group on her own, lapping big-hitters Janet Birkmyre, Alice Monger-Godfrey and the rest of the bunch in the process… http://tinyurl.com/29unpd. Having proved she was harder than a gerundive, the tough Latin buff celebrated by jetting off to Mallorca the next day for her second assault of Puig Major this year – and Tony should be similarly cock-a-hoop about his imminent move into a plush four-bedroom pad which, co-incidentally, is a few turns of the pedals away from the home of his Family Blackman chums. Sadly, however, a double blow has drained the joy out of the normally chirpy northerner, so come with us now as we relate how fate conspired to keep him with a 3rd cat licence for a little while longer. It’s time to watch those elusive points disappear…
WHAT THE BUCKS THAT?
+++ Smedley stunned by punctures in two races +++
He missed out on 1st place at MoD by the slenderest of margins and was one of the top five finishers at a subsequent visit to Chertsey – so one can only imagine TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY’s dismay as he pulled over to the side of the Qinetic circuit on Saturday, having punctured on the 12th lap of 20 in the 3rd cat race. Curses! Eager to grab the six remaining points needed to achieve 2nd cat status, the moneyman who puts the fun back into European fund management got a brand new pair of tyres on his Colnago and ventured out to Stewkley, Bucks, the next morning for the 2/3/4 Compomotive RR, only to receive a second visit from the puncture fairy in as many days. A wheel change later, he found himself going flat out for 12 tough miles as the service car allowed him to draft at speeds of up to 40mph. Fearless Tony reveals in a Dyna-mail: “I got back to the group on lap three and felt fine until the last lap when I died. Metaphorically speaking, of course, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this.” Well, obviously. The 68-mile band 3 event ended with DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDNER piloting the final move and taking 7th, while MATT ‘IRON’ BRIDGE nabbed 15th… http://tinyurl.com/2bbj7k …after branding Dave a “poof” for worrying about getting his bike dirty on the partially-flooded course. You tell him, pal!
HUW’S DUNNIT
+++ Watkins gets 2nd cat +++
Meanwhile, over at Woodchurch in Kent, eager HUW ‘AITCH’ WATKINS also hoped to attain the points that would propel him into 2nd cat territory as he hurtled over the line in 7th place, only to learn later that he had been omitted from the final results of the 3rd cat race. Damn you, SERRL! The searing Seven rider proved to be even more determined than Smedders, because he left the Kenardington circuit to compete in the Sutton Town Centre 3rd cat race, which was held shortly after GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN took 9th in the E/1/2 event. But despite grabbing 3rd place… http://tinyurl.com/2bfpqn …thanks to a little junior hauling his formidable frame around the technical circuit, point-hungry Huw’s new licence remained tantalisingly out of reach. That all changed on Tuesday at the Crystal Palace 3/4 race, where ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY’s 8th place was bettered by the hulking sprinter taking the No.3 spot… http://tinyurl.com/39jv62. Well done, sir!
NORTHWAVE? SHOE MUST BE JOKING!
+++ Paine corrects footwear faux pas +++
The sunlight reflecting off IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE’s shimmering slippers must have momentarily blinded DYNAMITE! a couple of weeks ago, because we were certain that our description of his “silvery Buck Rogers-style” Northwaves was entirely correct. In fact, they are actually shiny, futuristic DMTs, although they still look like they could be worn by that freaky child-size robot with the curiously deep-set voice… http://tinyurl.com/2amyzh. Bedebedebede! Snootily dismissing Northwaves as “fugly”, the Wandsworth wonderman fired off a brief Dyna-mail to this publication almost as soon as he had spotted the error – and he was similarly quick off the mark at Ardingly, West Sussex, on Saturday, getting into the winning break of 11 early on at the South East Road Race Championships. He reveals: “Given that it’s been nearly two months since I did 80 miles, it was always going to be a question of how long before I got dropped, especially given the toughness of the circuit. Two laps to go and the chasing group and bunch are stopped because they are four minutes down. I succumb with a lap-and-a-half to go and eventually roll in a chunky nine minutes down.” Fortunately, one rider from the break managed to get lost – which meant Ian scraped into the top 10 of the E/1/2/3 event… http://tinyurl.com/24f34a. You jammy bugger! And Ian’s luck continued on Tuesday as he lead a two-man chasing group to bag 3rd place at Palace while SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON took 8th… http://tinyurl.com/39jv62. Lovely stuff!
DERM WARFARE
+++ Campbell’s battle to get his first ever points +++
After crashing twice, breaking a chain and getting two punctures during his first five races, battle-scarred DERMOT CAMPBELL has finally managed to make a deposit in the points bank by finishing 7th in the 4th cat race at Hillingdon on Tuesday – and he has revealed the true potential of his pal MIKE BRIARS, who should be listed in the top three once the official results appear. Despite still being in the 4ths, it appears Mike was 2nd at the British Cyclosportive – just six minutes behind PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY – and he finished the Etape in under seven hours. Watch out for this one, Dynamates!
RUSHING OFF
This week’s news has passed by in a blue, black and orange blur, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff in for this edition before we rewind the videotape and mistakenly pick the wrong winner. Always remember we are a creaking Dictaphone, and we would be nothing without you, our gabbled and partially obscured race numbers. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The
deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the overused tape snaps, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a position picked at random.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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