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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #137, 13.04.07
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 22C max, wind NE 2mph; Sun, sunny, 24C max, wind S 1mph +++
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WRIGHT AND WRONG TURN
+++ Disappearance in Mallorcan mountains +++
Ah, Dynamates! The reassuring clunk of the Vic-20’s sturdy keyboard, the endless cups of Kenco ferried by Mrs Dynamite, the chatter of the ticker tape machine as it spews out Dyna-massive reams of brilliant results – these, friends, are just a few of the many wonderful reasons why it’s great to be back at the newsletter’s famous soundproof bunker in the bowels of Dynamo Towers, where we have been recovering from the drama of SIMON ‘IT’S GOOD, BUT IT’S NOT’ WRIGHT losing his way up a very big climb. Not quite grasping the concept of a rest day during last week’s unofficial training camp, the navigationally-challenged rower set out with GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL and DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDNER to do a reversed and truncated version of the traditional route through the mountains in the north of the island, only to get dropped by the Dynamo-ic duo and miss the scheduled turn at Lluc for the journey home. Doh! While Dave, Guy and TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY sat in earnest conference at this publication’s hotel room discussing the possibility of calling out a search party, Simon ploughed up Puig Major, went down the other side, and realised something might be amiss when his riding partners weren’t at the bottom. So the big lad turned around, went back up the mountain – which happens to be the biggest on the island – and eventually found his way back to base without the aid of a map or mobile phone. That’s one hell of a way to earn a post-ride beer by the pool! Hopefully no ‘Mos will repeat Simon’s error at the club’s official trip, which takes place on the Balearic island from Saturday – and as the campers look forward to a week of clement weather which eluded us, let’s follow the signpost marked “news” and head towards the town of Fact to recount the last two weeks’ racing action in full. Here comes a very busy junction…
DOWN WONDER
+++ Australasian riders dazzle +++
A range impressive results courtesy of MICHAEL ‘LUNGER’ SNEYD, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY have proved that Dynamo’s current form lies firmly in its mighty Antipodean contingent. Having saved his energy with a reserved performance at the Surrey League’s Easter 3-Day, Down-Under-Mo Mike narrowly missed out on the top spot on Tuesday at the first Hillingdon fixture of the season… http://tinyurl.com/2kju2b. But there was no respite last week for crafty Kiwi Paul, who unleashed his devastating sprint to claim 3rd at Henfold Hill’s 2/3 event… http://tinyurl.com/2pb5oh …and 2nd at the dreaded Cutmill course the very next day… http://tinyurl.com/39xu37. Awesome stuff! On the first stage of the 3-day, the McEwenesque marvel avoided getting boxed in by riding on the grass to tackle the one-in-four uphill finish at Milland Hill – a fearless move which landed him in the points with 12th place… http://tinyurl.com/2k3k7x. His fellow countryman Richard was the highest-placed Dynamate in the E/1/2/3 stage race after finishing 12th among a 15-man break at Ottershaw on the final day. The group created a gap of 14secs which was enough to propel the ginger winner into the No.12 spot on the final GC, 1:33 behind winner Danny Axford of Arctic Shorter Rochford… http://tinyurl.com/22fdos. And just to add a little bit more Dynamo dazzle to the last stage, plucky Paul ended up winning the bunch gallop comfortably. That fella just loves his uphill sprints!
IT MEANS NOTHING TOM ME
+++ Hemmant plays down recent race exploits +++
What a Dyna-modest chap! The latest communiqué from TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT underplays his performance a couple of weeks ago at the E/1/2 race at Thruxton motor circuit in Andover, Hants, where he landed 12th after a valiant yet unsuccessful attempt to bridge across to the break. He also neglects to mention that RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM SIMMONDS, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and himself were in a large breakaway group during the first stage of the 3-Day which was only caught in the final few kilometres. Rather than draw attention to himself, Dynamo’s self-effacing 1st cat has chosen to shine the spotlight on his elder 3rd cat sibling JOE ‘BLOW’ HEMMANT, who came 5th at the SERRL event at Sevenoaks Weald in Kent… http://tinyurl.com/3yts7g …before following in the family tradition of getting his surname mangled in a subsequent race report… http://tinyurl.com/yux7ug. And crit queen CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN is the other recipient of the younger Hemmant’s fulsome praise following her visit to Thruxton, where she finished well up in the men’s bunch to clinch 1st lady… http://tinyurl.com/2l5mgz. Dynamo’s quiet man reveals: “I missed most of her race as I was in the car keeping warm and drinking tea, but it is probably safe to assume that she hit the front of the bunch every time it came around to go up the slight rise into a howling headwind. I don’t want to speak out of turn, but I think that she needs a more relaxed work ethic.” Tom should note that the Boudica of Barnes did the 3-Day and then came 6th at the Hillingdon women’s race on Wednesday… http://tinyurl.com/ypa8eq. There’s no such word as “relaxed” in her dictionary, pal!
KEN WATCH!
+++ Buist launches new career +++
Eagle-eyed ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY has dramatic news about man of mystery KEN BUIST, who he spotted doing laps of Regents Park on his Colnago a couple of days before DYNAMITE! shut down for its Mallorcan jaunt. It seems Dynamo’s enigmatic mascot has officially launched his new career in photography… http://www.kenbuist.com/ …and in doing so has broken cover to reveal his identity… http://tinyurl.com/2m4l9q. Get the comedy moustache and shades on, Ken – this part of the newsletter works much better when the majority of the readership doesn’t know what you look like!
THE CANNONBALL RUNS IN
+++ Stop-press TT news from Kingston killer +++
Finally, breathless PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN has burst into the DYNAMITE! office to announce that he has just won the first Hounslow Wheelers ’10’ of the season and knocked 14 seconds off his personal best for the course. You can catch your breath now, pal! The time trial titan, who clocked a time of 23:24 on Thursday night, boasts: “I only had my ordinary race wheels on as all the speed weaponry is packed for Mallorca.” The training campers won’t know what hit ’em!
…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ Fast-rising Dynamo star MATTHEW BRIDGES takes 14th in the final GC of the 3-day 3rd cat competition… http://tinyurl.com/22drqe +++ MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT nabs No.3 spot in 3rd cat race at Cutmill… http://tinyurl.com/3an385 +++
SEARCH OVER
The helicopter has located a large, hairy-legged figure enjoying a choco-latte at the café by the junction between Sa Calobra and Puig Major, which means that there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent in stuff for this issue before it flies back with the good news. Always remember that this publication is a compass through the week’s Dynamatic news, but we would be nothing without you, our magnetic north. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the missing ‘Mo climbs back on his blue Trek, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a laminated Insight Fleximap (1:200,000 scale).
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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