DYNAMITE! #139, 27.04.07

November 19, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #139, 27.04.07
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 24C max, wind E 10mph; Sun, sunny, 24C max, wind E 5mph +++

+++ Intriguing moves at Chapman’s do +++
Gregarious DYNAMITE! loves to mingle with some of the club’s top movers and shakers – so it was an absolute pleasure visiting the leafy environs of Lower Beeding, West Sussex, on Saturday night to witness some interesting moves and a whole lot of shaking by a number of merry ‘Mos celebrating CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN getting hitched to the lovely Nicola. Congratulations, you two! In the words of a Take That tune that went down particularly well on the dancefloor, this publication will Never Forget some of the intriguing shapes thrown by LUCY ‘DANCING’ DOVE, WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS, JOE ‘BLOW’ HEMMANT, STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES, MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON and best man RICHARD ‘BOY RACER’ DOLBY, not to mention the ginger jiver himself who got the wedding reception underway by giving it up ballroom style with his wife to the tune of Elton John’s Your Song. But it was the terpsichorean skills of Chadders’ childhood chum TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT that really impressed the judges of this organ as he moved his head in a pecking motion out of time to the music while keeping his arms bent stiffly at his sides like a pair of wings – a routine that can be best described as “doing the funky chicken”. It wasn’t that wild, but it was certainly fowl! In fairness, the rhythmically-challenged chap was probably bopping under duress after his boogie-mad girlfriend Lucy tired of him earnestly discussing his power output readings with fellow turbo nut Martin – who, incidentally, kipped in a sleeping bag with his bike in the back of the car so he could compete at a time trial in Horsham at 7.30am the next day. Now that’s dedication! Tom’s elder brother Joe also used the evening to limber up for an event the following morning – and his cardiovascular workout to Abba’s Dancing Queen helped him bag a podium place which we will reveal more about later on. Sadly, not every Dynamatic event this week was as harmonious as Chris’s nuptials – so come with us now as the wedding bells are drowned out by a bit of ding-dong. Here comes a nasty shove…

+++ Butler picks Simmonds and Delahunty for Irish stage race +++
Anyone who has witnessed crazed Kiwi PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY unleash his devastating sprint will know that the McEwenesque marvel is not a man to be messed with – so one can only wonder at the sheer nerve of an unknown GS Invicta rider who gave the New Zealander not one but two pushes at Chilham in Kent on Sunday, sending him crashing to the kerb. What a rotter! The unsporting shoves, which came as the leading group of 11 took the final 1.5-mile climb in the 2/3/4 race, left poor Paul with road rash on his left hip and damage to his bike. But incredibly, the mad-as-hell ‘Mo managed to get back on, chase the leaders down and finish 5th… http://tinyurl.com/2dw8ot. You showed ’em, buster! Stunned GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY, who took 11th after bridging across to the break with Paul and 15th-placed DAVE ‘PINKY’ GARDNER, asked the SERRL commissaire to disqualify pushy number 52, only to be rebuffed with this curious history lesson: “The world is changing. People are generally less patient than they were in the 60s and 70s. When they feel they’ve been hard done by they can lash out, even when that’s not in their character. So I’m doing nothing about it. An apology has been given.” Fuming Paul considered knocking the miscreant’s block off and then apologising afterwards but managed to restrain himself – which was probably just as well, as it could have led to Surrey League supremo Keith Butler having second thoughts about entering him for the prestigious FBD Insurance Ras next month… http://tinyurl.com/yrb9j9. Race secretary MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT reveals: “After a series of behind-closed-doors meetings with myself and Keith, it has been decided that Paul and RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS will ride the stage race as part of a five-man Surrey League team. The other riders in the squad are Simon Saunders, Mark Smith and Ben Pochee.” Rich has started to show form recently, partnering PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN a few weeks ago to win the a3crg two-up time trial in Rogate, West Sussex… http://tinyurl.com/35ecuc …and nabbing 13th place at the Les Ingham E/1/2/3 event in Bletchingley, Surrey, on Sunday… http://tinyurl.com/2lh6ak …but he nevertheless admits to being apprehensive by the prospect of the Irish race. Huge crowds, a high-quality field and eight consecutive days of racing – what on earth as he got to feel nervous about?

+++ Fiery Hayter lights up race for Hemmant Sr +++
Observant copper JAMES ‘PARTICULARS’ NORTHWAY has noticed that WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER bears a passing resemblance to a Swan Vesta thanks to his striking red helmet – and the lanky lad proved he was on fire at the Norman Halewood 3/4 race in Corhampton, Hants, by helping to drive a high pace which reduced the 60-strong field to less than 35 on the tough 55-mile course. Flamin’ hell! The matchstick man wasn’t burned out after trying and failing to single-handedly bring back a lone breakaway by eventual winner Eamonn Dean of Bournemouth Jubilee – but after the bunch briefly split on the last climb, the Dyna-magnanimous chap decided to work for his buddy JOE ‘BLOW’ HEMMANT in the sprint for the No.2 spot. Joe revealed: “It was a supreme lead-out. He took the wind with around 300 metres to go and popped me out 80 metres from the line. You can’t ask for more than that. I got pipped for 2nd by a wily old vet who had seen the blue train coming and snuck on like a fare-dodging commuter, but it was still a great ride from Will and there was some solid teamwork. If only we could do that every week!” Joe’s domestique settled for 15th place… http://tinyurl.com/yu4vvb … but spare a thought for puncture victim ROB ‘THE VAGUE’ PRITCHARD, who stood by the road handing out drinks to Will after the jinxed lad’s disobedient bidon jumped out for the second time in the space of a month. Somebody get him a new bottle cage!

+++ Welcome return of Palace +++
The pre-race banter on the grass, cheerful John Mullineaux waving his camera around on the downhill corner and that taste of blood in your mouth as your lungs explode – all of these pleasurable rituals can only mean one thing, Dynamates. That’s right – racing at Palace is back! Tuesday’s E/1/2 season-opener saw IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE pull back a lone breakaway, allegedly because the rider made a few slanderous remarks about his cornering techniques last season. If he didn’t make them, he certainly won’t now! The ever-diplomatic TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT fears that mentioning this alleged grudge will create a tit-for-tat situation, so we’ll refrain from revealing the person’s name. But Ian’s efforts nevertheless helped keep the race together, leaving Tom feeling “a bit bad” for not doing better than 4th place. You owe him one, chum! Ian finished 6th, STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES came 8th and SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON took 11th, while ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE just missed out on the top 10 in the fragmented 3/4 race… http://tinyurl.com/38ecmh. Roll on next week!

+++ JASON ‘KEEP IT CLEAN’ GREEN 3rd in Hillingdon 4th cat race +++ IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE wins Hounslow Wheelers 10-mile time trial in Chertsey, clocking in at 24:14, while PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN stops with cramp +++

The confetti has been thrown and the happy couple are climbing into a jalopy with tin cans tied to its bumper, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff in for this issue before the “just married” sign recedes into the distance. Always remember we are something old, and we would be nothing without you, our something new. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the bride and groom wave from the rear window, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and something borrowed.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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