DYNAMITE! #108, 14.07.06

November 20, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #108, 14.07.06
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 23C max, wind E 10mph; Sun, sunny, 25C max, wind E 10mph +++

+++ Hard-riding ‘Mos enjoy 80s revival +++
In a confusing world where trends change faster than the wearer of the yellow jersey, it’s comforting to know that a decade familiar to us all is currently undergoing a popular revival across Britain. Fashions from twenty years ago have even invaded the lower ground floor of Dynamo Towers this week, with Mrs Dynamite digging the mothballs out of her ra-ra skirt while DYNAMITE! types these very words with a pair of deeley-boppers bouncing atop of its bonce – and as you would expect from the capital’s most craze-conscious club, a number of Dynamates have been keen to jump on the bandwagon by participating in an aspect of 80s’ culture that is even more synonymous with the era than the Rubik’s cube, Jim Bowen on Bullseye, or STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS’ trusty Cougar. We’re talking, of course, about the dubious joys of mountain biking, first popularised in the decade that taste forgot and enjoyed last week by four notable ‘Mos – one of whom walked off with his most satisfying result of the season so far. So adjust those oversize specs and get ready to punch in the stats on your combination digital watch calculators as we reveal the results that are tastier than a packet of sherbet dipdabs. Here comes the chatter of the telex machine…

+++ Rival’s gaffe fails to halt unstoppable Spies on way to victory +++
While chewing the fat with RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON on the way back from Palace last week, this publication was intrigued to hear that STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES told the ginger Kiwi that he “really, really wanted” to win a race at Beastway – and less than 24 hours after DYNAMITE! heard that titbit, ever-determined Stu had achieved his goal. The Bupa trooper took his shiny new knobbly-tyred Giant to the Lea Valley circuit, where he initially found himself stuck behind a rider from Orange Monkey who rapidly faded before unclipping, causing Stu and the rest of the pack to jump off. What a hassle! Unaffected by the sudden halt, Dynamo’s affable South African went on to get a healthy gap on Addiscombe’s fearsome Frenchman Sylvain Garde and crossed the line to claim the No.1 spot in the Masters category… http://tinyurl.com/fmj7q …which is his first MTB victory in the UK. Give that man a British passport immediately, Dr Reid! Sadly, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE were ruled out of contention by punctures – but who was the mystery ‘Mo pedalling around on what Stu describes as a “rather nice Glider crossbike”? Why, it was none other than Cyclefit’s JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL making a low-key return to his MTB roots. He kept that one quiet!

+++ Dizzy Paine watches Spence’s triumph at Guildford +++
As a multitude of ‘Mos already know, Cyclefit sensation WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE won the Guildford Town Centre Circuit Race in dazzling style last Wednesday, lapping the chasing group of Malcolm Elliott, Archer GP winner Mariusz Weisiak and Specialized’s Andy Jaques Mayne before out-sprinting Kristian House to the line… http://tinyurl.com/lalfm. The Covent Garden crit king celebrated winning the event for the second year running and snatching the lead in the Elite Men’s Circuit Series – but spare a thought for poor old IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE, who sent us a dazed précis of the race just hours after he had whizzed around the cobbled 600-metre circuit for around 50 laps to finish 20th. He reveals: “No matter how many people I passed, I always seemed to be last man but one. Then I heard over the commentary that Warrick was away with Kristian House. Some more laps as last-man-but-one, then lapped by Warrick for the first time. Quick glance at my bike computer – four and a half miles done!” Oh dear! Ian was lapped by Warrick again before being pulled off, giving him a ringside seat for the thrilling finish. He recalls: “Up the straight it’s Warrick on the far left, House on the far right. Warrick looks ahead. Looks like House closing – but no, Warrick’s arms are in the air! Absolutely top win in a brutal race.” Good grief – he’s turned into Phil Liggett!

+++ Stunning double at Palace +++
Six days after his gruelling experience at Guildford, IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE returned to his spiritual homeland of Crystal Palace where he took 2nd in the E/1/2 race, while SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON finished 4th after swerving around a junior who came off on the downhill corner. Nice handling, pal! Ian’s 2nd place on Tuesday was nicely complemented by JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS, who broke away from the much-depleted pack in the dying moments of the 3/4 race to take the No.2 spot… http://tinyurl.com/ldggn. But a special mention must go to DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER for getting plastered at the weekend, not bothering to take any drink with him during the race and still managing to nab 9th place. Now that’s a hardman of the old school!

+++ Driver and marshals still needed for Dynamo-organised race +++
The entry list for the latest round of the South East Series is filling up nicely – but event co-ordinator MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT is still looking for a driver, a car, a line judge and course marshal for the Dynamo-organised race next Sunday. Dyna-mail martin.garratt@londondynamo.co.uk if you can help out on July 23rd – all offers of flash motors will be gratefully received! A prize of £200 will be awarded to the 1st placed rider, going down to £20 for 7th and £10 each for 8th through to 15th. The highest-placed 1st and 2nd cat riders will each receive a pair of Sidi Hi-Tech carbon shoes or a full cyclefit, including footbeds, courtesy of the club’s generous sponsors. That’s a worthy incentive to duke it out with the elites!

+++ Apology for yet another sloppy antipodean error +++
First KEN BUIST, then RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and now PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY – it seems DYNAMITE! has once again wrongly referred to a Dynamate as an Aussie when they are, in fact, from New Zealand. Sorry, pal! Paul also took issue with being compared to Robbie McEwen in our previous edition as the Brisbane bandit “weighs next to nothing” – but despite the differences in build, the editorial team stands by the comparison as the Hammersmith humdinger’s sudden appearance at the front of the pack for the sprint during last week’s 3rd cat race at MoD Chertsey was worthy of the current green jersey wearer himself. So we’re not apologising for that one, buddy!

+++ Kimbers nabs points to go up after tumble +++
Finally, DYNAMITE! was pleased to hear that Dynamette KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF was back on her bike following her crash at the Parkride – and the Dyna-masseuse nicked two points at the women’s race at Hillingdon last Wednesday, giving her a 3rd cat licence. Nice one!

The ‘play’ button on the Walkman has shot up with a clunk, which means it’s time to thank everyone who contributed to this issue before we turn over our best of Howard Jones C90 mixtape. Always remember we are a spiky-haired, keyboard-plinking vegetarian, but we would be nothing without you, our bald, miming Jed. So don’t crack up, bend your brain, see both sides, throw off your mental chains and keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU WELL’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. Any stories from the Etape or the Marmotte would be greatly appreciated as we haven’t yet received any. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we wonder what is lo-o-o-o-o-ove anyway, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a Betamax recorder.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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