DYNAMITE! #111, 04.08.06

November 20, 2010

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #111, 04.08.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 26C max, wind NW 5mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 26C max, wind W 7mph +++
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SWEET CHILD OF ‘MO
+++ Stegers rocks out on eve of race +++
Charismatic yet reclusive, constantly rumoured to be on the verge of making a comeback, TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY could be described as Dynamo’s very own version of Axl Rose, who has hidden himself away in numerous recording studios since 1996 trying to complete the recording of his masterpiece. It was around the same time that the cycling scene bade farewell to Tony – and his rock ‘n’ roll return to racing at the end of last April was thwarted by the squares of the Surrey League declaring the results of the Norwood Hill 3rd cat event null and void due to supposedly dangerous riding. He finished 4th as well! But like the tenacious Guns N’ Roses frontman, the Hammersmith hard nut showed he had a lot of Patience and was knock, knock Knockin’ On Hillingdon’s Door first thing on Sunday morning to take part in the National Masters 2/3/4 support race. Welcome back To The Jungle, pal! Also on the starting line was hard-livin’ youngster JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS, who was pumping his fist in the air until 1.30am as GNR belted out their hits at Wembley Arena – and mere hours after getting the Nightrain home, the knackered rocker proved he was One In A Million by shooting out of the bunch in the dying moments of the race to claim 8th. Now that’s what we call an Appetite For self-Destruction! With two groups containing a total of seven riders ahead of Joe, Tony put in a Dyna-massive effort to secure 2nd in the sprint, thereby nabbing the last place in the top 10 and securing his first point of the season… http://tinyurl.com/gchjd. Confident Tony insists: “That elusive elite licence is only months away.” That’s what Axl said about his as-yet-unreleased album in 2002! With so much racing going on, this edition of your favourite bandana-wearing, down-and-dirty Dynamatic update is going to be an epic of November Rain proportions, so let’s perch the top hat on our mess of curly hair, allow the cigarette to droop from our bottom lip and prepare to Slash our way through the week’s news. Here comes the 10-minute guitar solo…

SECOND ALPINGS
+++ Spies returns for eight-day MTB race +++
He’s done it again! For the second year running, knobbly-tyred nutcase STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES has covered 400 off-road miles through Austria, Germany, Switzerland and Italy to complete the epic eight-stage Transalp challenge, which finished on July 22nd… http://tinyurl.com/gjco6. The Bupa trooper and partner in grime Shawn Blakey were in the top 50 before Stu was forced to ride alone for the final two days after his pal came down with a serious case of dodgy guts. Nasty! With their two-man team dramatically halved, the stern German organisers refused to give the Mad Engine men an official position on the final GC – but DYNAMITE! can reveal Stu came 170th on the list of 580 individual finishers. Well done, fella! Having tackled the Alps and the Dolomites, intrepid Spies plans on heading to the jungle for Costa Rica’s La Ruta in November… http://tinyurl.com/ka6re. He enthuses: “I just know the other off-road ‘Mos will be keen.” Don’t bank on it, pal!

THREES’ FAME
+++ Trio of 3rd cat Dynamates in Palace top 10 +++
After many weeks of being overshadowed by the E/1/2 race, the 3rd cat ‘Mos got to enjoy their best Crystal Palace result of the season so far with no less than three top 10 places on Tuesday. Nice one, fellas! Soon after shooting away with five laps to go, plucky DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER found himself joined by a quintet which included JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY and ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE – but sensing the danger of four mighty ‘Mos in a break, the pack sensibly closed down the gap. Undeterred, Joe attacked again and stayed away for one and a half laps of the kilometre-long circuit before blowing up by leading everyone up the climb. Bad luck, buddy! Andrew reveals: “Quentin Tring from Brixton Cycles, who is on flying form, led out a long line of us in the the finishing straight, making a nice easy job for the judges.” How kind of him! David finished 2nd, Andrew was 4th and Rob nabbed the No.9 spot… http://tinyurl.com/lfwbu. We’ll be expecting this level of success every week from now on, chaps!

FOURS’ COMPANY
+++ ‘Mo teams become rivals at team time trial +++
It’s unusual to find any Dyn-animosity between Dynamates – but the editorial team detected a note of rancour in STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES’ account of the Surrey League 4-up Team Time Trial Championship which saw all of Dynamo’s three well-drilled units finish in the top third of the 21-squad race. Mounted on PIERS ‘PRESSURE’ STANSFIELD’s blinging Planet X TT machine, the usually affable Saffa rode the 35.5-mile course with fellow 2nd cats GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY, GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN and DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE to finish 20secs down on VC Meudon’s fastest time of 1:17:48. The ‘B’ team’s efforts were enough to secure an impressive 3rd place – but the ‘C’ squad came 2nd, prompting fuming Stu to point out to them that his foursome had to contend with a car pulling out into their path. “That’s half a minute right there,” he whinged, vowing: “Next time, buddies!” Even-handed DYNAMITE! feels compelled to note that 30 seconds wouldn’t have made any difference as Stu’s crew finished 1:38 behind the winning time, making them 1:17 slower than the ‘C’ guys who averaged an incredible 27mph. Sorry, fellas! Meanwhile, first cat fireball RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS, who rode with IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE in the 2nd-placed team, reveals that GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL “whined like a baby” on the starting line about how hard it was going to be. He’d probably just realised that it wasn’t the sort of 4-up that a Premiership footballer might enjoy in a hotel room with three of his team-mates and a quartet of glamour models! Nevertheless, the pervy powerhouse turned out to be super-strong, with Richard readily admitting: “It was a bloody nightmare holding onto his wheel in the last few miles.” The pace was so high that TT master PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN was forced to drop off – and Rich adds: “I was gutted for him. He was riding really strongly and I’m certain we would have won with him.” There’s always next year, pal! At least Paul made it to the start of the race on the Kirdfold/Alfold circuit, unlike SIMON ‘RIGHT REVEREND’ WRIGHT whose back wheel collapsed after a spoke buckled, leaving JASON ‘B.A.’ BARAN, DAVID ‘HANNIBAL’ GARDENER and ADAM ‘FACE’ STONE to soldier on as the ‘A’ team. That was one plan that didn’t quite come together! Nevertheless, the trio still managed to finish 7th… http://tinyurl.com/zjhmy …and despite riding normal road bikes, they passed their four-minute team who were all on TT machines. Bet that made the poor buggers feel good about getting caught!

…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ Fully-recovered RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS avoids getting into another crash and takes 9th at the Southern Counties Cycling Union Championship in Edenbridge, Kent on Sunday… http://tinyurl.com/oscwd +++ STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES 3rd in Masters category at last Wednesday’s Beastway… http://tinyurl.com/h8x2z …giving him 2nd overall for the series +++ For the third time in four weeks, IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE finishes 2nd at Palace’s E/1/2 race… http://tinyurl.com/lfwbu …while DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE bags 6th and GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN takes 9th +++

WE’RE GUNNER GO
The grinding, high-decibel riffs have probably brought you to your sha-na-na-na-na-na-knees, which means it’s time to end the show before we have one of our notorious on-stage bust-ups. Always remember we are a Duff McKagan and we would be nothing without you, our cymbal-smashing Steven Adler. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘IZZY’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we wonder where do we go, where do we go now, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a bootleg copy of Chinese Democracy.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team

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