DYNAMITE! #114, 25.08.06

November 20, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #114, 25.08.06
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 21C max, wind W 5mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 22C max, wind W 6mph +++

+++ Car troubles throw a spanner in Smedley’s race joy +++
Throughout winter, spring summer or fall, Dynamates know that all they have to do is call, and we’ll be there, yes we will, to trumpet your achievements in a reasonably amusing manner every Friday morning. Sadly, that is the absolute limit of this otherwise dependable publication’s abilities, which is why we did a runner when TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY’s car died on the busy Fulham Palace Road on Sunday. The chirpy Mancunian, who ended his 10-year racing hiatus this season, had been grinning even more broadly than usual after taking 3rd at the well-attended 3/4 race held by Finchley RT… http://tinyurl.com/qo9j5 …and with characteristic northern generosity, he bought DYNAMITE! a cup of coffee in the clubhouse before offering us a lift back from Hillingdon, which we happily accepted. Sadly, Tony’s two-year-old black Golf mysteriously stalled amid heavy traffic in Hammersmith a mere five minutes from his flat – and the RAC ended up taking three hours to tow the poor lad home. At least you got there in the end, pal! Thankfully, his £10 winnings will help to cover a small part of the repair bill – and he will no doubt reflect in the coming weeks that it is better to ride to crits in the capital like the rest of his club chums. But rather than dwell on his contravention of an unwritten Dynamo rule, let us now don our orange overalls and shine the torch on two good little runners who didn’t break down on their recent 350-mile journey. It’s time to read ’em and winch…

+++ Two ‘Mos go to great lengths to avoid arts festival +++
Intrepid Sassenachs PETER ‘SOCKS’ GOODCHILD and HARRY ‘PILLS’ POWELL fled from the Edinburgh festival on their bikes at 7am last Saturday – and they didn’t stop until they reached London. That’s quite an effort to avoid a bunch of stand-up comics and street performers! The two ‘Mos made the 463-mile journey with a couple of pals and they all fell asleep while riding at some point on the arduous 34-hour journey. Harry reveals that “things got a bit hazy” around York, which marked the halfway point of the expedition, adding: “By the time the sun had come up we had covered 300 miles and I had gone a bit weird, or so I am told. Our speed had fallen away and progress was a bit pathetic. None of us felt like eating, drinking, talking or anything much, really.” Oh dear! The gentle hills of Aylesbury almost prompted the poor lad to throw in the towel, even though they only had 40 miles to go – but after popping a caffeine-packed Pro Plus pill, the 33-year-old was back in the land of the living. He says: “It did the trick. The great disappointment of the final stretch was the lack of hills. I was up for a scrap but the English countryside had melted away in the face of my challenge, so we shot through the Chilterns and rolled into town four hours late and sore. It wasn’t much fun but it was a bit different.” At this point we’d expect some sort of reasonably uplifting pay-off, and Harry has duly obliged by reporting that his bottom is now “OK” despite the fact that he has lost the feeling in both hands. So that’s all right, then!

+++ Great results at Palace fail to silence whingers +++
The normally mild-mannered TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT pointed out to DYNAMITE! this week that cycling has its fair share of “miserable buggers” – a fact evinced by the now-infamous thread on londoncyclesport.com which makes numerous fanciful claims about the standard of Dynamates’ bike handling… http://tinyurl.com/q7njx. The Dyna-mighty presence of the blue, black and orange army in the top 10 of both Crystal Palace races on Tuesday has failed to quell the unwarranted criticism… http://tinyurl.com/lh79l …although one question remains: if Tom and IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE’s cornering really is as poor as some of the bad-tempered forum-dwellers’ spelling and grammar, then how on earth can the Dynamo duo do so well on what is probably the most technical circuit in the country? That, readers, is our final word on the matter! In any case, it was an unnamed Dulwich Paragon rider who won the CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD gong for questionable handling by banging into ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE during the sprint in the fast-paced 25-lap 3/4 race – a mishap which caused the silver-helmeted ‘Mo to lose a couple of places and earned the DP rider a spot of road rash. ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY finished 9th, one place behind Andrew, and breakaway boy DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER came 5th – but it was JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS who bagged the result of the night by coming a close 2nd to “Corridori Kid” Eric Rowsell, which earned Joe enough points to get a 2nd cat licence. Westminster crit, here he comes! In the E1/2 race, Ian got in a successful move and was soon joined by Tom, who admits: “I wasn’t feeling great so I couldn’t compliment Ian’s attacks.” But the break still finished around a minute ahead of the pack, with Ian taking 3rd, Tom 4th and SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON bagging 9th place overall in the bunch sprint… http://tinyurl.com/md6jf. Roll on next week’s final Palace of the season!

+++ Gardener lands impressive result at historic final race +++
Any 3rd cat who finishes 10th in a bunch sprint behind PCA’s Tony Gibb deserves a tip of the hat, so it is with a hearty “chapeau” that DYNAMITE! highlights DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER’s impressive achievement at the very last Eastway Supporters League race last Thursday… http://tinyurl.com/qg78z. Dave reveals: “Most of the field was either dropped or lapped and we were getting up to 36mph along the back straight. It’s certainly the result I’m most satisfied with.” Well done, pal!

+++ Sleepy Kenneway misses break at SERRL race +++
Finally, our commiserations to GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY who missed the decisive 10-man break in Rolvenden, Kent on Sunday and had to endure Rapha ranter Guy Andrews bellowing at the bunch for the remainder of the 56-mile 1/2/3 race. Gordon says of the breakaway: “Myself, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES were caught napping in the middle of the bunch. Actually, I was half asleep – it was so early. But I won the bunch sprint for 11th, so I was very happy with that.” If only the race organisers could have extended the results sheet by one place… http://tinyurl.com/za6sd …so that Gordon could get a bit of glory!

The AA man has hitched our motor to the back of his truck, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone for their contributions this week before we get towed away. Always remember that we are an old jalopy and we would be nothing without you, our fifth emergency service. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘CAN’T START HER UP’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a disheartening “clank” signals the truck pulling away with only our front bumper attached to its hook, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and roadside relay membership with home start.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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