The DYNAMITE! Files

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #125, 10.11.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 13C max, wind S 6mph; Sun, light rain, 11C max, wind W 17mph +++
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THEY’VE GONG AND NICKED IT
+++ Dyna-management pilfers prize idea +++
The journey from this publication’s famous soundproof bunker to the boardroom on the top floor of Dynamo Towers is seldom made, chiefly because the editorial team is unable to spend valuable time helping out with lengthy committee meetings when there’s a Dyn-amazing weekly newsletter to lovingly craft for our humour-hungry readership. Nevertheless, it appears that DYNAMITE! has come to the aid of the club’s top brass by lending one of its best-loved editorial ideas without even being asked, thereby scuppering plans for our final edition of 2006. Long-time readers will be well-acquainted with the Mities, our glittering annual awards ceremony which last year saw ‘INCREDIBLE’ IAN JENKINSON hobble off with the Pope John Paul II Memorial Blessing For Services To Tarmac-Kissing while WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE took the Laurent Fignon Comb But Not Forgotten accolade after chopping off his trademark ponytail. Now, it seems, the Dyna-management has borrowed the concept for a prize-giving bash of its very own which will take place at the club’s end-of-year get-together. That’s right, trophy-hunting chums – there will be plenty of dubious honours handed out at this year’s Christmas Social, although it remains to be seen if any of the categories will be able to top the Robbie McEwen Soap And Brush Award For Services To Anglo-Saxon (won by potty-mouthed ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY in 2004). Tight-lipped Social Secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT is currently keeping the venue under wraps, but we can exclusively reveal that the glitzy gong show will take place somewhere in W1 on Thursday 7th December. Put it in your diaries, Dynamates! More details will be revealed next week – but in the meantime, another innovative plan thrashed out in the boardroom is unveiled on the Dynamo website today. A new type of membership category has been set up to promote participation in the club’s activities, and you can find out more by renewing your subs over the internet on the site’s revamped, fully-automated system… http://tinyurl.com/ybppku. For now, however, let’s bid a fond farewell to the season with the year’s very last Surrey League event. It’s time to chuck the well-thumbed BCF calendar in the bin…

OTTERSNORE
+++ Alarm bells fail to ring for Garratt and Streule in season finale +++
Snoozy twosome MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT and DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE were caught napping at sunny Ottershaw when the winning break shot off in the early stages of Sunday’s 50-mile E/1/2/3 race. Curses! The 10-man group, which contained big hitters such as Martin Smith of Team Milton Keynes and Agisko’s Rob Enslin, shelled out two riders as their unbridgeable gap from the pack shrunk from one minute to just 15 seconds. Smith came 1st to win the Surrey League three-race mini-series… http://tinyurl.com/yxdec8. Lanky Martin, who rolled in with the bunch along with David, noted afterwards: “I must ride more aggressively next year.” That’s what everyone’s telling themselves, buddy!

MAIL AND FEMALE
+++ Ticking-off for missing item +++
Finally, CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN and GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY admonished this publication for failing to mention a Dynamette’s impressive performance in a championship event after she had sent us the details. The fact is, fellas, we didn’t get her Dyna-mail. Search the Dynamo supercomputer if you don’t believe us! It’s probable that the message was sent to the old address which was shut down some months ago, so the editorial team would like to remind everyone that new one is in the “from” field of this message. It is NOT in the “To” field – which, although similar, is actually the mailing list. And the address never appears in the newsletter itself because the text is reproduced on the Dynamo website, which is how the last address came to be spammed at least three dozen times a day, leading to its merciful demise. Anyway, if you are the female ‘Mo in question, resend your message and your tale will be related in next week’s issue. That’s a promise!

STEAL AWAY
We’re about to creep off quietly, carefully avoiding the beams of light criss-crossing the floor, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who filled our swag bag of news this week before we reach the getaway car. Always remember we are just a two-bit crook and we would be nothing without you, our Mr Big. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BURGLAR’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the sound of a siren grows louder, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an alibi.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

This entry was posted on November 20, 2010 at 3:58 pm and is filed under DYNAMITE! filed.