DYNAMITE! #127, 02.02.07

November 20, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #127, 02.02.07
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND
WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 10C max, wind N 6mph; Sun, sunny, 9C max, wind W 7mph +++

+++ Membership set to reach 300 +++
A yawn, a rub of the eyes, a stretch of the main muscle groups as recommended by Cyclefit, and we’re back! After three months of hibernation, the DYNAMITE! editorial team has finally emerged blinking from its famous soundproof bunker in the bowels of Dynamo Towers with renewed energy for the forthcoming season – and our expanded mailing list indicates that the club’s ranks have been similarly rejuvenated by attracting more fresh blood than Dr Fuentes’ fridge freezer. Overworked club secretary RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT has confirmed that the number of paid-up subs has risen to an impressive 261 since the floodgates were re-opened at the end of last year, with the final total likely to be in the region of 300 once outstanding payments have gone through. That means, of course, that there are a few people who are reading this weekly Dyna-mail for the first time and probably wondering what on earth will be shoved up their inboxes every Friday morning for the next 10 months. So for their benefit, let’s demonstrate our much-valued role as the leading Dynamatic newsgathering service by heading up north, where a night on the old falling-down water lead to a sharp exchange the following day on an exposed climb. Here comes a rise in tension…

+++ Hail triggers harsh words +++
Anyone who has ventured on one of Dynamo’s celebrated excursions to Mallorca or South Wales will have enjoyed the genial wit of club boss NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK as he unwinds by the pool or a roaring fireplace – but the celebrated raconteur was somewhat more terse when snow and hail began to lash a challenging climb in the Peak District during the excellent three-day excursion led by CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN the weekend before last. Blonde barrister Nick didn’t appreciate DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDNER upping the pace so the squad of 16 ‘Mos could get to the top of the hill and down to the slightly less inclement valleys as swiftly as possible, so he threatened to forcibly remove Dave’s legs and stick them up his you-know-where. Wash your mouth out, sir! Pinky, however, reckons Nick’s irritation stemmed from the duo sharing a cottage in the Staffordshire town of Leek. He reveals: “I think he took exception to me coming back a bit drunk from the local lock-in at the Black Rock the previous night and the one before that. I made a bit of noise and woke him up stumbling around in the dark.” The phrase “a bit drunk” understates the fact that he was ordering four pints per round, although that didn’t prevent him from being at the front on all the climbs. That’s a carbo-loading regime worth investigating, Dynamates, even if it doesn’t yield quite the same impressive performance. Baby-faced boy wonder DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE could probably have challenged Dave’s King Of The Peaks crown if he had not stuck resolutely to his self-imposed heart rate limit of 150bpm as the team tackled Snake Pass, Holme Moss, Gun Hill and Ewden Beck, before taking a detour to the lowlands of Crewe and Nantwich as high winds threatened to transform terrified tiddler RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT into a human kite. Despite all this excitement, the biggest thrill for many was the presence of Commonwealth sprint champ Victoria Pendleton at Manchester velodrome. A small group of smitten Dyna-men tried to meet the 26-year-old Bedfordshire beauty after her stint at the Revolution event, although the discreet gentlemen have quite rightly drawn a polite veil over what transpired down at the track centre. We take it she blanked you then, fellas!

+++ Gittos replaces Der Kaiser on camp +++
It’s a tough task filling the ample T-Mobile jersey vacated by Jan ‘it’s me glands’ Ullrich, so hats off to JONATHAN ‘SNAPS’ GITTOS for giving it a go by infiltrating the famous pink train on the team’s training camp in Mallorca a few weeks ago. Incredibly, the Soho new media man found himself accompanying the celebrated squad on rides all over the island and chatting to them every night at the bar. Jonathan reveals: “It seems the latest training tip from the pros is to stand waist-deep in the cold pool after training making loud jokes in German about the size of one’s manhood in the icy water. We should make this obligatory for our Mallorcan revels this year.” Didn’t GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL try something similar after too many Tunels a couple of years ago? The star-struck ‘Mo adds: “Brits Roger Hammond and Mark Cavendish seemed very nice chaps. Roger in particular was unable to restrain his enthusiasm after my monologues on London Dynamo.” True to his Dyna-moniker, Jonathan has provided evidence of the classics man endorsing Britain’s best club by providing this brilliant pic, which you will need to click to see big… http://tinyurl.com/2gr7gc …and the snap-happy ‘Mo is challenging Dyna-members to take photos of other cycling celebs sporting Dynamatic headgear. So whip out your box brownies, readers – the gauntlet has been thrown!

+++ Dynamo features at TdF launch +++
It’s not just T-Mobile who have been exposed to the Dynamo brand during the past few months. A number of top pros, team managers and the finest newspaper hacks in Europe witnessed the blue, black and orange livery being proudly displayed in the capital when a short film promoting the Tour De France’s forthcoming London prologue was screened at the official launch in Paris last October. The three-minute movie features a yellow balloon (do you see what they’ve done there?) floating past everyday sights in London, such as a boardroom meeting in the shadow of the “Gherkin”, a trendy mixed-race couple enjoying a coffee on the South Bank, and a Rastafarian reading a newspaper in, erm, Bar Italia. Anyway, you get the idea. At approximately 57 seconds in, the buoyant scene-linking device drifts past the Tate Modern – and there, chatting to a pal while his flat-barred hybrid rests against the wall, is Dynamo’s youngest member TOM ‘JUNIOR’ MACKAY! In a Dynamo jersey! For a whole five seconds! The young daughter of a mixed-race couple (not that one, another one – keep up) who has been chasing the balloon eventually locates it stuck up a tree in Regent’s Park, just as a fast-moving peloton handily makes an appearance to signal the film’s giddy climax. In a merciful piece of editing, the aesthetically unappealing kits of Dynamo’s rivals are reduced to a blur as the riders whizz past – but spare a thought for DYNAMITE! and DARREN ‘THE HAMMER’ HINCKS, who endured a wet morning of filming only to be made practically invisible, unless the quick-fingered viewer applies the pause button at around 2mins 48secs. We had to wait months for the DVD as well!

The final frame has passed through the projector, which means it’s time to thank everyone who contributed to this issue before we turn on the house lights. Please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip and race reports to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we hoover up the discarded popcorn, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a cameo role.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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