The DYNAMITE! Files

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #129, 16.02.07
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, cloudy, 10C max, wind SE 7mph; Sun, cloudy, 11C max, wind E 5mph +++
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MALAYS WAYLAY
+++ Swarm of mistaken admirers accost Harknett in Langkawi +++
Spectators at French sportives, Italy’s gran fondos, and even the Barbados national triathlon championships have all cheered a number of Dyna-magnificent performances from Britain’s most well-travelled cycling club – but now a globe-trotting ‘Mo has gone one better by reaping the admiration of a foreign crowd without going to all the bother of actually taking part in the race itself. While on holiday in Malaysia recently, Dynamo’s social secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT thought he was certain to attract the admiration of fellow cycling enthusiasts by donning his Dynamo kit and riding his snazzy Seven to the finish of the Tour de Langkawi’s opening stage. But with the exception of a rather enthusiastic Frenchman who rode more than 11,000 miles to reach the archipelago’s main island… http://tinyurl.com/2jg5vv …there was not a single spectator who had chosen to bring a bike or wear their favourite jersey. Then the pros disappeared in anticipation of the podium presentation, leaving lone lycra-wearer Paul looking even more conspicuous amongst the crowd. He reveals: “It quickly became apparent that everybody waiting for the prize-giving thought I was one of the competitors, despite being 20 years too old. I must have had at least 50 photographs taken of me with various wives, sons, daughters, girlfriends and grannies. I was even interviewed by a Japanese TV station!” To prove his popularity, the attention magnet snapped the snappers queuing up for a picture before posing with a group of confused locals who probably saw his bald pate and thought he was Levi Leipheimer… http://tinyurl.com/yuolvt. Sadly, the local monkeys weren’t quite as welcoming, as the terrified Brummie learned when snarling simians chased him up a hill on two occasions. Another confrontation involved him dismounting, walking towards a primate brute while holding his treasured titanium machine between them, and then banging the bike with a big stick. This tactic, provided by a local naturalist, sent his foe fleeing but resulted in Paul breaking his much-loved bell. You must have gone ape, pal! We could have spent the whole of this Dyna-missive monkeying around with Paul in Malaysia if the DYNAMITE! ticker tape machine had not grunted back to life with the first result of the season – so grab a vine and swing to the next item as we relate how a Dynamo big-hitter has been thumping his chest in celebration of podium finish. Let’s go bananas…

ONLY JESS BEGUN
+++ Simmonds’ impressive start to season at TT +++
He’s back, Dynamates! After months of careful preparation, RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS unleashed himself on the Kingston Wheelers/Gil Jessop time trial on Sunday and nailed the 14-mile course in 32:44 to take 3rd… http://tinyurl.com/2kbm98. Dynamo’s most improved rider of 2006 says: “I guess the training must be heading in the right direction. I’m counting the hours until the next one on Saturday. Man, it’s good to race!” That’s what we like to hear! European duathlon age group champion JENNY LLOYD-JONES turned up at the windy East Clandon circuit for her very first TT and left with 2nd lady under her belt after clocking in at 39:42. That’s more than a minute ahead of the next woman on the finishing sheet!

SHORT’S SHARP SHOCK
+++ Rusty gets “spiked” +++
Meanwhile, poor old RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT had a funny turn on the road to the Perfs Pedal race in Portsmouth, Hants, after popping an ominously-named pill… http://tinyurl.com/ynw9sb …which his chum PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN had asked him to try. The human guinea pig, who was driving SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON to the season-opening event on Sunday, held the steering wheel in a sweaty, vice-like grip as his heart rate rocketed for around a minute. Nasty stuff! Thankfully, Sam didn’t realise how much the Spike tablet had affected his driver – but the effects wore off by the time they reached the race HQ, leaving Rusty struggling to match speeds of up to 40mph set by the high-quality E/1/2/3 field. Sam, meanwhile, finished a creditable 22nd… http://tinyurl.com/2d6tg6. You should have taken whatever he was on, Rusty!

QIN YOU HELP?
+++ Beginners’ race reminder +++
Finally, a big thank-you to everyone who has volunteered to help out at the Dynamo Beginners’ Series, which takes place next Sunday and the Sunday after at the Qinetic circuit (known as MoD)… http://tinyurl.com/ysml4s. You can still get involved by Dyna-mailing event organiser MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT at martingarratt@londondynamo.co.uk or post a message on the forum. And if you’re a 4th cat but can’t decide whether to race or not – just do it! You’ll never know if you like it unless you give it a try…

CROWDED OUT
The confused crowds are applauding us, which means that there’s just time to thank everyone who sent stuff in for this issue before we grab the
bottle of plonk, kiss the podium girl and run. Always remember that we are an attention-seeking fraud, and we would be nothing without you, our paragons of probity. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the real pro emerges from his Winnebago to find the spectators have all gone home, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an act of deception.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

This entry was posted on November 20, 2010 at 12:47 am and is filed under DYNAMITE! filed.