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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #87, 17.02.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail news, views, and gossip to news@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click “newsletter” +++ Have a peek at our pics at
http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/album_personal.php?user_id=321 +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, cloudy, 7C max, wind NE 3mph; Sun, light rain, 7C max, wind NE 9mph +++
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Treat yourself like a pro – train in Spain with Cyclefit:
http://www.cyclefit.co.uk/train_in_spain.htm#
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COPS AND RIDERS
+++ Park’s constable praises club’s “positive” contribution +++
Creating an upstanding squad of boys and girls in blue has made London Dynamo a force to be reckoned with – and now the Force itself reckons the club is making a great impression. That, at least, is the verdict of Richmond Park’s bike-riding PC Kelvin Clarke, who praised the “positive” contribution Dynamates are making to his patch when he paid a friendly visit to the Dynamo committee outside the Roehampton Gate café after the Parkride. Glad we can be of assistance, officer! The friendly bobby has helped the Dyna-main men to open a line of communication with the park’s authorities and the Friends Of Richmond Park which will hopefully lead to a greater awareness of the club’s activities. With the police recently receiving a number of complaints from motorists about cyclists’ behaviour in the park, its becoming increasingly important for members to maintain the club’s high standard of good conduct – so to keep standards up, social secretary PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT is putting together a reminder of group riding etiquette. It will be another great new feature on the rapidly-expanding website! In the meantime, we’ve got a rundown of how four rain-lashed ‘Mos got on at the first race of the season and details of a certain lanky member almost getting nicked by another team. So hold out your wrists as Det Sgt DYNAMITE! of the Yard slaps on the handcuffs of fact and throws you into the meat wagon marked “news”. Here come the wailing sirens…
KIT OUT OF HERE!
+++ Fancy jumping ship? No thanks, says Powdrill +++
As the club’s membership numbers soar past the 200 mark for the first time, it’s inevitable that envious teams will try to poach a Dynamate or two – which is almost what happened to Dynamo superstar GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL this week. Two well-known names in the cycling world are secretly putting together a new team of big-hitters – and their representatives were so impressed by the twin-piston powerhouse’s rise from 3rd to 1st cat last year that they tried to lure him to their ‘B’ squad with the promise of swanky kit plus an all-singing, all-dancing website. The observant property broker realised Dynamo already offers both, so he politely turned down the deal following a top-level meeting. “And besides,” Guy adds, “I just couldn’t leave behind all the friends I’ve made in the club.” He’s a big softie, really! Your ever-tactful DYNAMITE! is declining to reveal the identities of non-‘Mos who will be racing for the hush-hush team this season, but you can expect to see a certain Crystal Palace regular listed in their ranks when a press release emerges in the not-too-distant future. That’s all we’re saying!
YOU DIRTY PERFS
+++ Filthy big-hitters get down to mucky business at season opener +++
Dozens of Dynamates who avoided last Sunday’s wet weather must surely have felt a pang of guilt snuggling under their duvets knowing that TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, DARREN ‘PACKING ‘EM’ MINSHALL, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE were among 60-odd competitors slogging it out at the rain-sodden Perfs Pedal race in Rowland’s Castle, Hampshire. Conditions were so appalling that even Tour de France veteran Sean Yates pulled out after three laps, branding the blustery wet weather “diabolical”…
…but Dynamo’s quintet of non-quitters managed to stick it out for the full 70km of the E/1/2 event. That’s the spirit, fellas! Warrick’s early three-man break was pulled back, leaving mechanic Sam and quiet man Tom to drive the chase when a 13-strong lead group emerged containing eventual winner James Williamson along with most of his Agisko team-mates. Frozen, filth-encrusted Warrick finished unlucky 13th while Tom came 17th, Sam 22nd and Darren 30th – a creditable performance in the first fixture of the season, even though Cyclefit’s Spence was heroically underdressed for the occasion. As the Kiwi himself wrote on the forum: “At least I looked pimping – white gloves and oversocks.” And that’s what counts, buddy!
SURVIVAL OF THE PIC-EST
+++ Bastin beats off competition as least-popular snaps leave gallery +++
The success of our dalliance with digital images continues unabated as Dynamates continue to leaf through the DYNAMITE! album – and amazingly, ALEX ‘BUSTED’ BASTIN’s winter headgear has managed to attract more hits than any other picture so far…
http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/album_personal.php?user_id=321
How could a woolly hat become so popular? We’ve knit got a clue! Perhaps the jealous-looking stare he’s getting from the chap in the yellow shades adds a sense of tension to the scene which many ‘Mos find irresistibly dramatic, or maybe seeing Alex with his back to the camera lends him an air of Buistean mystique. Whatever the reason, you can send a Dyna-mail to news@londondynamo.co.uk with ‘Simply The Bast’ in the subject heading if you are one of the 140-odd viewers of this unusually successful image and you would like to explain it’s extraordinary appeal. At the other end of the visual spectrum, the least popular pictures have been deleted to make way for a couple of new Parkride pics – so you can click on the above link to witness PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN celebrate the end of his final circuit. The show-off only did three laps!
DID YOU ‘MO…
…that the youngest Dynamo member was born in 1987? That’s even younger than some of the glittering bikes in NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK’s ever-changing collection! Membership fact master DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS has wisely declined to reveal the identity of this whippersnapper in case he gets jealous stares from the Dynamo old guard – but you’ll be able to make the acquaintance of plenty more Dynamates during the coming weeks with Knowing ‘Mo, Knowing You. That’s right, readers – Did You ‘Mo is making way for our eagerly-anticipated new feature which will introduce a different Dynamate each week in a bid to make the club even friendlier. If you’re one of chosen few whose name has been plucked from the DYNAMITE! Bucket Of Luck to participate, then remember you have until Wednesday to complete your questionnaire and return it to news@londondynamo.co.uk. It’s the highest honour this organ can bestow!
NO ‘MO ROOM
+++ Training camp now full +++
Finally, Eton Travel’s hard-working Martin Boone has been run ragged this week by loads of Dynamates contacting him to see if they can bag a last-minute place on April’s training camp – but after much frantic phone-calling, the Berkshire-based booker has officially closed reservations for the club’s trip to Mallorca. Sorry, folks! Lucky beggars GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS, ALEX ‘BUSTED’ BASTIN, PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, CARLOS ‘THE JACKAL’ CONCEICAO, DAVID GARDNER, JONATHAN ‘SNAPS’ GITTOS, PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY, CRAIG ‘WADERS’ LEIPER, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON, NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, TONY SMEDLEY, DAVID ‘STRINGY’ STREULE, and SIMON WRIGHT can look forward to a week of brilliant riding – but there are still places available on Cyclefit’s trip for those of you who are still yearning for Puig Major…
http://www.cyclefit.co.uk/train_in_spain.htm#
The Dynamo committee convened at the café by Roehampton Gate after the Parkride and agreed on the details of the training camp’s points competition, which was hinted in the last edition of the newsletter. Discreet DYNAMITE! has been sworn to secrecy about the details, but we can reveal that not everyone will have to slog their guts out in a bid to bag each day’s points, so there is plenty of opportunity to take it steady if you want. The rest will be disclosed at Palma airport!
BAIL OUT
We’ve been held for questioning long enough, which means it’s time to post our application for bail and thank everyone for their contributions. We’ll be in cuffs again next week, so please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘PEELER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we’re led from the cells, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a flashing blue light.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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