DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #57, 03.06.05
HOLE LOTTA HASSLE
In its capacity as Dynamo’s consistently buoyant journal of record, the DYNAMITE! team likes to pump pride into the heart of every member – but we were sad to hear of a certain Dynamate who was left feeling somewhat flat during the much-anticipated Surrey League three-day this week. That’s right, tyre-ed and emotional reader – an up-and-coming ‘Mo’s determined bid to win the prestigious 3rd cat stage race was scuppered by a badly-timed visit from the pesky puncture fairy. On the plus side, at least the incident briefly stopped the lofty lad having an inflated opinion of himself! There’s nothing more dispiriting than that familiar hissing sound, so come with us now as we prepare to patch things up. Here comes the sandpaper and glue…
RIM AND BEAR IT
He’s undoubtedly endowed with a massive cycling talent – but big lad GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL discovered on Saturday’s opening stage of the Surrey League three-day that a little prick can have an amazing effect. The twin-piston powerhouse turned on the turbo boost within five miles of the chequered flag and found himself in a late break with Kingston Wheelers rider James Beaumont. Incredibly, the lanky property broker’s front tyre took a puncture with two miles to go yet he still managed to ride on the rim and nab second. Now that’s what we call expert handling! Unlucky Guy, who eventually settled for 2nd in the final general classification, had another surprise at the finish in Newdigate – his dad had turned up to watch! Powdrill senior suggested that his son should fill his tyres with “some sort of substance” to prevent another puncture. We knew there had to be a better use for those gooey energy gels! The Surrey League supercomputer has yet to issue results from each of the three stages, but it seems the final GC was more or less decided on day one due in no small part to Monday’s concluding stage being re-routed away from the potentially bunch-splitting climb of Leith Hill. Damn the wet weather! Nevertheless, DARREN ‘PACKING ‘EM’ MINSHALL still got the chance to prove once again that he’s the Hardest Working Man In Dynamo by coming 1st on day 2 with a little help from the mighty ‘Mo train of NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES, TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES and wheezing boy wonder CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, who was still recovering from last week’s gruelling L’Etape De La D’Enfonce. Darren came 8th overall – and his stage win is all the more impressive considering he recovered from spending three laps off the front on his own the previous day. Have a good long rest, buddy! Praise is also due for Tom, Stuart and Chris who came 10th, 13th and 18th respectively in the final GC, taking most of them to 2nd cat, while Nick went off on his hols instead of doing the final day. We don’t blame you, pal! Meanwhile, over in Cutmill, 11th-placed MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRETT watched in amazement as DAVID ‘STRINGY’ STREULE whizzed past him in the uphill bunch sprint to take 9th – and the Chelsea chappie reveals: “He told me later that he’d been timing himself from the last corner to the line. Now that’s what I call planning the finish!” Sadly, things didn’t go as smoothly for WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE, who went to hospital following a crash in Tuesday’s E/1/2/3 race at Crystal Palace. Hopefully we’ll be able to bring you details of how he’s doing next week – but in the meantime, just make sure you get well soon, buddy! The south-east London circuit also saw GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN come 3rd in the 3/4 event with GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY finishing 8th – and over at Hillingdon on the same night, ANDREW STRONG took his first step on the points ladder by taking the No.4 spot after getting into a break which actually stuck. That just isn’t supposed to happen in a 4th cat event!
RAS BANG WALLOP
Regular readers will recall how we left you with a bit of a cliff-hanger last week – and now we can reveal how battered Dynamate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT battled to the end of Ireland’s crash-strewn FBD Insurance Ras stage race to claim a respectable 48th place in the final general classification. Give that man an extra-large bidon of Rego! Tom’s hopes of taking a top 40 place amid the quality field were cruelly dashed during stage 3 when the 200-odd riders jostled their way down a narrow country lane, causing a crash which brought him down along with 40 other competitors – but his luck changed two days later when the race splintered over the long 1-in-5 climb of The Butts. The Solna Avenue sensation’s team-mate IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE says of the 143km stage from Templemore to Abbyleix: “Tom made it into the select 50 rider front group, eventually recording a fine 22nd place on the stage.” That’s what we like to hear! The result lifted Tom from 91 to 52 on the GC and he went on to put in a solid performance over the Dublin-Wicklow mountains in stage 7 – the toughest of the 8-day race. Following a short final-day criterium in Phoenix Park, Dublin, Dynamo’s quiet man finished 0.20.48 down on Chris Newton’s winning time of 26.32.39 while Ian ended up 112th on the GC at 1.09.54. And almost a quarter of the field abandoned! The former Dublin Excel Ravens rider, who was competing with Tom under the banner of his old Irish club, was brought down on stage 2 by a Czech pro after the rider had been sideswiped by the Recycling team car – and Ian kissed the tarmac again when someone put their pedal through his rear wheel just meters after the start of stage 4 at Emyvale. Bad luck, buddy! To add insult to injury, we mistakenly changed his nationality in the last issue. Ian says: “I lived, worked and raced in Ireland for a year and a half. I’ve no Irish blood at all – honest!” Consider us told!
TYRED OUT
With sweat pouring from our brow, we have finally managed to wrestle the pierced Michelin Pro Race back onto the rim and pumped the damn thing until it’s as firm as an order from GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS. What a bead-ing awful experience! We’ll probably get another flat in a matter of minutes – but DYNAMITE! will still be back in seven days’ time. Until then, always remember that we are a trusty spare inner tube but we would be nothing without you, our ever-present presta valve. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘EIGHT BAR’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a tiny bit of flint sits up on the tarmac, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and plenty of air.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Four laps of the park.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY, MAY 24: WEST THAMES/MIDDLESEX RC CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J, 24 MILES: 1 Charley Emry (Twickenham CC/Evans/Nature’s Kiss); 0.57.43; 2 A. Jewell (Solent RT); 3 D. Kingsburn (agiskoviner.com); 4 ANDREW STRONG (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 S. Looby (unatt) +0.06; 6 C. Salisbury (unatt) +0.47; 7 A. McIntyre (Gregarios); 8 G. Pettit (Hillingdon); 9 B. Skinner (Hounslow And District Wheelers); 10 T. Brass (Thames Velo).
MONDAY, MAY 30 – SURREY LEAGUE/AGISGOVINER.COM, CUTMILL, 2/3/J, 62 MILES: 1 Justin Lomas (Norwood Paragon) 2.04.00; 2 Mark Scoular (unatt) +0.40; 3 Eamon Watson (Velocity The Exercise Deck); 4 Keith Jarrett (i-team.co.uk); 5 Seth Kay (poshbikes.com); 2 Des Gayler (Kenton); 7 DAVID STREULE (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 John Glaysher (agiskoviner.com); 9 Scott Merrilees (Twickenham); 10 David Larcombe (VC Meudon); 11 MARTIN GARRETT (LONDON DYNAMO); 12 Gavin Morton (Charlotteville); 13 Simon Latimer (Team Lichfield); 14 Nick Boyd (unatt); 15 Craig Wilson (VC Meudon); 16 Philip Watkins (Addiscombe); 17 Terry Morgan (VC Meudon); 18 Mark Haylett (Team Specialized); 19 Adrian Ramsbottom (Glendene); 20 David Roberts (Crawley); 21 Ben Thompson (Victoria); 22 Daniel James (Team Axiom); 23 Lee Chaplin (Twickenham); 24 Christian Yates (In Gear); 25 Graham Wood (Crawley); 26 David Kennett (Fit-For); 27 Mickael Metayer (Fit-For); 28 Pete Connelly (VC Meudon); 29 Robert Cranstone (VC Meudon); 30 Gianluca Cappello (British Airways); 31 Neil Linford-Relph (VC Meudon); 32 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO); 33 Dominic Gabellini (Angliasport); 34 Phil Westby (VC Meudon); 35 Colin McDermott (Festival); 36 Gary Kristensen (agiskoviner.com); 37 Michael Inder (Thames Velo); 38 Matthew Plested (agiskoviner.com); 39 Niall Digby (Sigma Sport); 40 David Gayler (Kenton); 41 Andrew Boyd (unatt); 42 Ashley Lambert (agiskoviner.com); 43 Max Harris (agiskoviner.com); 44 John Alderman (VC Meudon); 45 Thorsten Klassen (Kingston Wheelers); 46 Kevin Butchart (Twickenham).
TUESDAY, 31 MAY – CRYSTAL PALACE CIRCUIT LEAGUE #6, 3/4/W/J, 27KM: 1 David Jones (Dulwich Paragon); 2 Daniel Fortunov (Reading); 3 GAVIN RYAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 William Thompson (Pacific) +0.15; 5 Shannon Durrant (Pearson Cycles) +0.50; 6 Alex Atkins (Evans) +1.00; 7 Neil Pearson (Gemini) +1.06; 8 GORDON KENNEWAY (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 Jonathan Donald (Brixton Cycles); 10 Stuart Hicks (Catford); 11 Phil Bendall (InCycles).
TUESDAY, 31 MAY – BC WEST THAMES/WESTERLEY RC CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J, 25 MILES: 1 Jamie Howes (Twickenham CC/Evans/Natures Kiss) 0.57.24; 2 M. Wilmott (Slipstreamers) +0.03; 3 R. Tozer (Twickenham CC/Evans/Natures Kiss) + 0.25; 4 C. Trevallini (Reading); 5 S. Hernandez (Sutton) +2.00; 6 C. Salisbury (unatt); 7 A. Sherman (unatt); 8 B. Skinner (Hounslow and District Wheelers); 9 E. Young (Hillingdon); 10 S. Kirby (Sutton); 11 HUGO CANO (LONDON DYNAMO); 12 K. Davidson (unatt); 13 B. Cousins (Kingston Wheelers); 14 M. Ward (Mission); 15 T. Brass (Thames Velo); 16 P. Cornwall (unatt); 17 M. Farmer (unatt); 18 D. Bond (Reading); 19 DAVE CASEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 20 C. Fyfe (i-team.co.uk); 21 M. Stallion (Twickenham CC/Evans/Natures Kiss); 22 Unidentified; 23 A. Broadbent (Thames Velo); 24 ANDREW STRONG (LONDON DYNAMO); 25 S. Bale (Reading); 26 G. Pettit (Hillingdon); 27 A. McIntyre (Gregarios); 28 J. Nicholls (Thames Velo).
THE LAST WORD
“Flat tires are caused by beer in winter and by cigarettes in summer. As odd as this may seem, there is a direct link.”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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