Introducing: The YoGymBo©

November 3, 2011

It’s a yoga area. It’s a gym facility. It’s a turbo room. It’s The YoGymBo©, an innovative new training solution for the discerning fitness enthusiast.

The YoGymBo© incorporates a range of exclusive features to bring a touch of class to your sweaty and ultimately pointless physical exertions.

1. Strip lighting is for lab rats. You’re the star of the show, so give your 2×20 sessions that period drama feel with a candelabra.

2. A selection of Rouleur magazines and annuals doubling as a plinth for a fan. When mind-numbing boredom sets in, find the inspiration to complete that soul-sapping interval by focusing on a grainy black-and-white photograph of a long-dead cyclist from the 1950s.

3. Only big dumbasses use big dumbbells: two 5kg weights are all you need to work your core. Also, because they don’t weigh much, they’re easier to move, which you’ll need to do to transform this part of the room into the yoga area.

4. iMac and Bose speakers. Can you hear those voices in your head telling you to stop? Can you? Of course you can’t. Because you have the metronomic thumpy-thumpy music of your choice playing at eardrum-crushing levels. Basically, it’s a home nightclub, without the poppers but with more gurning.

The YoGymBo© is not available in the shops. In fact, it’s only available if you happen to be Littlejen or myself, and only for a limited period (i.e. until we move out of our temporary accommodation and back into our one-bedroom flat).

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