DYNAMITE! #169, 22.02.08

November 14, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #169, 22.02.08
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 13C max, wind SW 10mph; Sun, cloudy, 13C max, wind SW 7mph +++

+++ Streule’s bike collapses on Mallorcan group ride +++
The lengthy, arduous process of Dynamo decision-making demands that each committee member possesses an incredibly robust constitution to go the distance – so it is a shock to discover that not one but three Dyna-main men have recently been laid low within days of each other. Venturing to Mallorca with CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN, squits-riddled NICK ‘EX-CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK became the first to succumb, followed by his successor and travel companion TONY ‘PETER’ SMEDLEY, who ran into the back of DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE in rain-spattered Lluc after the baby-faced boy wonder’s fork inexplicably snapped at the crown. Ouch! Recuperating at his sprawling Barnes HQ, the club’s new leader says of his extensive road rash: “It hurts like hell on a jet ski. But I’ve been licked before. I’ve just got to stop being Nancy.” And as the normally-chucklesome northerner tried to cheer himself up by watching his favourite BBC sketch show on t’internet… http://tinyurl.com/29thu4 …honourary club president PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN was nursing the mother of all colds, which he’d picked up by standing in a drafty Norbiton warehouse sorting out clothing for last Saturday’s kit sale. In between sniffles, the bunged-up Kingston killer revealed that many ‘Mos have neglected to renew their membership, so his fellow committee member PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT will be taking a register at the start of the Parkride tomorrow. Anyone who hasn’t paid up will be turned away, barred from the forum and taken off the mailing list for Britain’s top Dynamatic update. You have been warned, Dynamates! So come with us now as we deliver the final newsletter that some ‘Mos might ever get to read, unless they pay up sharpish… http://tinyurl.com/2yylbn. This could be your last one, reader…

+++ …here’s how Dynamo dominated the other races at Chertsey +++
With remarkable prescience, training mode ‘Mos SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL and RUNE ‘SIZZLER’ SANBECK declined to join the decisive break at the E/1/2/3 handicap at MoD Chertsey on Sunday, thereby avoiding ex-pro Marcin Bialoblocki’s diabolical move which brought down Sigma Sport’s Andrew Bye yards from the line… http://tinyurl.com/2qtz88 …and relegated the Pole to 8th place in the process. The antics of the criminally-attired Sport Beans nudge merchant have sparked discussion on the Dynamo forum… http://tinyurl.com/2fbsmd …and beyond… http://tinyurl.com/2hzqsw … although the only subject of conversation in this publication’s famous soundproof bunker is how Britain’s best cycling club grabbed the lion’s share of the points on offer at the other two Beginners’ Series races held at the chilly Qinetic circuit earlier that same sunny day. The traditional 4th cat mass stampede for the line ended with NICHOLAS ‘ACTION’ JACKSON, ROB ‘WHAT LICENCE?’ REID, FREYSEN ‘CHASE HIM’ MARITZ, MILES ‘AHEAD’ STUART and CHRISTIAN ‘HARDCASTLE’ CORMACK taking 4th, 6th, 7th, 9th and 10th respectively. A short while later, REBECCA CURLEY, NAOMI ANDERSON and KIMBERLEY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF took the podium places in the women’s race, with PETA McSHARRY completing the Dynamettes’ domination with 9th place… http://tinyurl.com/ysme2o. Good work, ladies and gents – lets see more of that at the final Beginners’ Series race on Sunday!

+++ Williamson loving it at Gorrick +++
Some of those plucky riders who made their racing debut at the weekend will no doubt have honed their form on the Parkride, which STUART ‘EASY’ SPIES reckons is more action-packed these days than “that Surrey League nonsense”. His words, Dynamates, not ours! Having enjoyed his fill of what he refers to as “kill DAVID ‘GOLIATH’ ANDREWS sessions” in Richmond Park, the sunny saffa leapt like a Springbok into the Gorrick Spring MTB Series on Sunday, putting what bedazzled eyewitness MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON called a “chuffing quick lap” on the Tunnel Hill circuit in Farnborough, Hants, before falling victim to the dreaded puncture fairy. Oh you cruel, cruel sprite! Martin, meanwhile, had a cracking time on the dry, fast and twisty circuit, describing the race as “grin inducing” despite having mechanical issues with his singlespeed conversion. The multisport marvel, who is off to Mallorca this week with TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT, Dave Andrews and his triathlon chum Tom Langley, came 6th in the Sport category, while RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT took 12th in the Super-Masters and JAMES DUNSBIER earned the No.22 spot on the Masters finishing list. Depending on who you talk to, the reason behind WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER’s appearance at 53 on the Sport category results sheet… http://tinyurl.com/24l2wu …is either because he had a technical issue or left his race head at home – and more mystery surrounds the identity of another ‘Mo who was spotted at the race. Stu says: “I’ve never seen him before, so I think he may have just discovered the missing Sportful shipment.” If his shorts were as indecently brief as the ones that never made it Dynamo Towers, then he’s welcome to them!

+++ Wandsworth venue for drinks bash +++
Finally, we’d like to issue a warning that next week’s edition of DYNAMITE! may well make less sense than usual because deadline night coincides with WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER’s inaugural Dyna-monthly drinks evening, which kicks off at 6.30pm. All roads lead to the Freemasons on Wandsworth Common Northside this Thursday… http://tinyurl.com/398sbx …so make sure you bring your reflective armbands for what is sure to be a very wobbly ride home. And it’s a G and T, if you’re asking. Cheers!

The register is being churned out by the Dynamo supercomputer ready for tomorrow’s Parkride, which means there is just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff in for this issue before the printer spits out the last name. Always remember that we are a never-ending roll call of honour but we would be nothing without each of you, our magnificent entries. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT reaches for the red pen, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a fully paid-up membership.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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