DYNAMITE! #174, 28.03.08

November 14, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #174, 28.03.08
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, light showers, 11C max, wind SW 21mph; Sun, light showers, 12C max, wind SW 17mph +++

+++ Hemmant senior attacks amid tree chaos +++
It was, in the words of wide-eyed RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, a day when “the gods chucked everything down, including a tree” – but despite the rain, hail, snow and wind of the Easter 3-Day resembling the fury of an offended deity, there is probably be a less supernatural explanation for the unbe-leaf-able obstruction which brought the first stage of the 1/2/3 race to an early close on Saturday. While not wanting to cast aspersions on the diligence of the Surrey League’s hard-working officials, the thought of spending hours standing in freezing temperatures with nothing but a luminous tabard for protection must surely have tempted at least one flag-holder to pack a saw in the car before heading to the Milland Hill course and creating their very own “act of God” for the sake of a quick getaway to the nearest radiator. The editorial team of this publication has, of course, absolutely no evidence to back up this wholly plausible theory, although we can state with absolute authority that unfazed JOE ‘BLOW’ HEMMANT attacked in typically uncompromising fashion by squeezing past the fallen tree with a handful of others, briefly giving him a few seconds as the rest of the pack stared dumbfounded at their narrow escape from the bark-covered barrier which had thumped down on the tarmac before their very eyes. Meanwhile, Joe’s younger sibling TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT was in a break with Trust House Classic podium finisher Matt Talbot – and the 68-mile stage was foreshortened around the 50-mile mark, just as the supposedly exhausted ex-Rapha Condor man found the reserves to rip away from the leading group and take the win. Tom finished 5th with a deficit of seven seconds – but he hatched a plan to claw back just one second to get him into the top three. So come with us now as we head to Dunsfold Park for a feat of Dynamo co-ordination on the pan-flat strip of the former aerodrome that would have made the Red Arrows proud. The snow has cleared, and it’s time for take-off…

+++ Delahunty reduced to one cleat at vital moment +++
According to a rumour from a reliable source, no-nonsense New Zealander PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY had given his Dynamo buddies specific domestique duties for the 3-Day – so full credit to him for working on behalf of TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT instead after stage one showed the ever-quiet St Margaret’s man would make a bigger impression in the general classification. The keen-as-mustard Kiwi gave it full beans to provide Tom’s lead-out in the final 500 metres of the second stage at Dunsfold Park on Sunday – and, amazingly, he still managed to remain upright when his cleat broke. His incredible one-legged effort was the culmination of an otherwise flawlessly executed strategy which involved IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and Tom’s elder bro Joe keeping the pace up in the last lap while SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON sheltered Hemmant junior, who finished as planned with a gap on the bunch. It should have been job done for the cracking quartet, whose efforts had allowed their man to gain at least one second which they thought would give him 3rd place overall – but the race officials gave 8th-placed Tom the same time as the bunch and awarded bonuses to the top three finishers on the previous day. Oh Festina, capricious goddess of time, how you toyed with these mere Dyna-mortals’ dreams! With Monday’s final stage at Lingfield cancelled due to snow, Tom retained 5th place overall, 37 seconds behind winner Matt Talbot, or less than seven if you exclude the time bonuses… http://tinyurl.com/3yqoho …and he narrowly missed out on the points jersey after getting 1st and 2nd in the primes. The stoical big-hitter says: “It was crappy weather, but good racing. The boys sacrificed their own chances for me, which was pretty impressive.” Let’s see more of the same, Dynamates!

+++ Hoult takes 2nd +++
We couldn’t leave our coverage of the 3-Day without mentioning the 3rd cat event, which saw open road race debutant JASON ‘KEEP IT CLEAN’ GREEN making his presence felt at the front as the 25 per cent climb of Milland Hill split the riders into four groups – and the cyclo-crosser’s concern that he wouldn’t last longer than an hour proved ill-founded when he finished the opening stage in 9th place… http://tinyurl.com/3chbjy. The following day’s racing at Dunsfold Park was cancelled due to – you guessed it – a liberal sprinkling of the white stuff, giving RICHARD HOULT 24 hours to rest his legs before Lingfield, where he grabbed 2nd place after instigating an early break that caught the bunch napping… http://tinyurl.com/2uuu2y. Well done, fellas!

+++ Simmonds beats gearing troubles +++
Like the chirrup of heart rate monitors outside the Richmond Park cafe, or the sweet odour of WD40 wafting through Cyclefit, any event where RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS lives up to his Dyna-moniker is a sure sign that everything is right with the world – so it pleases this publication no end to report that the relentless high-achiever secured his first victory of the season after venturing to Meon, Hants, on Monday for Alton CC’s 31-mile time trial. The indomitable personal trainer says: “It was only just above freezing and I struggled to get my heart rate up to anything approaching race effort. On top of that, a 55 big ring I had fitted two days before threw the gearing out, so I had to switch to friction shifting for most of the race. Took me back 20 years! So all in all, pretty grim. But who cares? I finished first!” Jubilant Rich’s pointy-hatted pal GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL was 3rd, which might have eased the pain of what he considered to be an under-par performance at the Hounslow Wheelers 25-mile TT in Hawthorn Hill, Berks, on Friday, even though he was one of three ‘Mos in the top five. Guy rode the lumpy course in 1:01:38, while PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN did 59.59 to take third, and MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON was 54 seconds down on winner Wouter Sybrandy, giving him 2nd place… http://tinyurl.com/ytrofv. The trio had been told they could enter the club event on the line but only got a slot because the weather had kept a number of pre-entrants snuggled up in bed. What a stroke of luck!

+++ Golden rays pumped down a wire +++
With clouds hovering yet again over the Surrey League’s racing calendar, we leave you with details of how you can deliver a dose of much-needed UV rays to your dulled retinas, via the very screen displaying this informative message. Simply log onto http://tiredandtested.com/blog/ where international man of leisure CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD and his iSporty co-founder ‘BUFFALO’ BILL GILBERT will be bringing the sun and sweat of South Africa to life as they set out this morning on the grueling nine-day Cape Epic mountain bike race. Good luck, buddies! The type of weather the duo will have to endure is also graphically illustrated by blue-clad NICK ‘CRIKEY’ DOVE tackling the Cape Argus Pick ‘n’ Pay Cycle Tour three weeks ago in a photograph which he has only recently got back from Snappy Snaps… http://tinyurl.com/36alcb. Nick says: “It sets a great example of aerodynamic positioning and cornering.” We couldn’t agree more!

We’ve had a tree-ly great time, but you might have twigged that it’s time fir us to bid yew all goodbye. Always remember we are a forest of news, but we wooden be much use without your acorns of fact, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we belatedly notice that this overgrown issue could do with some pruning, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a chainsaw.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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