The DYNAMITE! Files

————————————————————–
DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #175, 04.04.08
————————————————————————–
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, light showers, 12C max, wind NW 14mph; Sun, heavy showers, 8C max, wind N 20mph +++
————————————————————————–

CAUGHT BY THE FUZZ
+++ ‘Cop’ stops Hayter and co +++
He has spent years nurturing a reputation as a courteous, responsible, mild-mannered ‘Mo – so you can imagine our surprise when WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER was labeled a miscreant along with 34 other disqualified competitors at Henfold Hill on Saturday, thanks to an over-enthusiastic community support officer continuing the police’s tradition of deciding the outcome of any cycle race that begins in Leigh, Surrey. Apparently disagreeing with the majority’s opinion that the standard of riding was perfectly respectable, the narked lawman turned on his flashing blue lights, overtook on a blind bend, and pulled up on a corner before stopping the bunch with one lap of eight to go, thereby scuppering their chances of catching the seemingly unassailable leading group. As if that wasn’t enough, the commissaire waded in and gave everyone a mouthful. What a palaver! Miffed Will, noting that the results sheet consists of the break and those who finished a lap down, complains: “How can you possibly justify disqualifying a whole group? It shows that commissaries should take some sort of sensible approach to maintaining group discipline, such as pulling out white-line offenders rather than just honking their horns impotently and then letting the whole group get stopped.” You tell ’em, pal! Thankfully, the kerfuffle failed to affect breakaway boys RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, who claimed 11th and 12th place respectively in the 71-mile 2/3 race… http://tinyurl.com/2uvf89 …but it was business as usual the following day as that unforgiving lady Mother Nature again played a factor in two events – so come with us now for a splashing time. It’s time to wade through a crank-deep puddle…

TAKING A BATHCOMBE
+++ No wash-out for Hoult and Jeffroy +++
The term “early bath” was doubly applicable for the hapless 3rds who tackled the daunting gradients of Barcombe on Sunday, with almost half of the field deciding to bow out rather then endure eight soakings in a mucky “paddling pool” created on the narrow, pothole-strewn circuit by overnight rain – but bucketfuls of brown water could not prevent RICHARD ‘HAVE IT’ HOULT and ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY taking 3rd and 7th respectively in the 53-mile floodfest in East Sussex… http://tinyurl.com/ypeq6n. You cleaned up there, fellas! Meanwhile, over in Deepcut, Surrey, mad-for-it mountain biker STUART ‘EASY’ SPIES buried the memory of his poorly-secured rear wheel forcing him to pull out at Henfold Hill the previous day as he took 6th place at the hideously muddy 4th round of the Gorrick Spring Series. His Super Master team-mate WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER had put in too many race miles at Saturday’s Surrey League fixture, so he was pleased just to reach the chequered flag – unlike singlespeed Sport category masochist MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON, who battled valiantly before bailing in the penultimate lap of the Frith Hill circuit. Tenacious tiddler RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT underestimated the time needed for his warm-up lap, which meant he missed the start by five minutes – but he somehow managed to take 11th in the same category as Stu… http://tinyurl.com/38rffr. That must have been quite a warm-up, pal!

DOING BRILL-IANTLY
+++ Victory and top 10 place in Bucks for TT duo +++
Having been sidelined for a month by illness and snowed-off races, the ever-determined JENNY ‘J-LLOYD’ JONES stepped out of her car in Brill, Bucks, with a sense of purpose on Saturday, only to get immediately walloped by a brutish, ungentlemanly gust that almost knocked her feminine frame to the ground. But the high-speed winds that had turned out for the Oxonian CC time trial couldn’t hold back the duathlon age group champ from completing the hilly 29-mile course in 1:32:27, beating the two women’s three-up teams by almost half an hour and all but four of the male trios. Jenny was also faster than three seeded riders – and the only person to pass her was the chap who won the event by a margin of 2mins 12secs. And who was that blue, black and orange blur? Why, none other than TT titan and Jenny’s fella RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS claiming his second victory of the season just five days after the first! The full-time cycling coach, who posted a time of 1:19:46, says: “It was by far the scariest experience I’ve ever had on the bike. The wind was so bad I couldn’t even hold the tri bars, and there were stretches where I was too scared to change gear. Mind you, the guy who finished second rode a disc, so hats off to him.” William Girvan… http://tinyurl.com/2mvsa2 …we salute you!

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN…
+++ Help needed for SERRL race +++
Finally, a brief reminder that race secretary MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT is looking for ‘Mos and ‘Mettes to help out at the SERRL 1/2/3 race in Brenchley, Kent, next Sunday, so send a Dyna-mail to martingarratt@yahoo.com if you can lend a hand. It’s the club’s only commitment to SERRL this year, so do your bit by chipping in!

COP OUT
The siren is blaring, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff in for this issue before a burly PC throws us into his meat wagon. Always remember that we are a shameless recidivist drawn weekly to this criminal newsletter, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we get out collar felt, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps
split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a truncheon.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

This entry was posted on November 14, 2010 at 3:18 pm and is filed under DYNAMITE! filed.