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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #177, 18.04.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, heavy rain, 8C max, wind NE 15mph; Sun, cloudy, 13C max, wind NE 10mph +++
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SUGAR DAFFY
+++ Gang go crazy for SERRL look-a-like +++
As a high-performing subsidiary of the Dynamo conglomerate, this publication has never had to worry about the committee selling us off to a lesser-known cycling empire – but this week we feared a future chronicling the ups and downs of Prestatyn Wheelers or Hunstanton CC when a message was slipped under the door of our famous soundproof bunker which read: “You’re fired!” Thankfully, it became apparent upon reading the rest of the note that it was merely MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT reliving the jollity of Sunday’s outing to Brenchley, where the band of amused ‘Mos helping out at the 56-mile 1/2/3 race in Kent noticed that Preston Anderson, the commandingly-named chief commissaire and SERRL organiser, is a dead ringer for reality TV’s short-tempered boardroom Barnum Sir Alan Sugar. The chortling gang exchanged many Apprentice-style quips as they re-fuelled in the kitchen of the village’s social club – but it was behind the wheel of the neutral service vehicle that IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE and RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON behaved like a couple of bolshy CEOs balling out their underlings as seven puncture-hit riders sought wheel replacements. No-nonsense Ian responded to a Norwood Paragon rider’s demand for a Ksyrium by telling him: “You want to see the bunch again? Then you’ll take what you want NOW, sunshine!” And when an irate competitor asked for the Shimano wheel he had handed in, oily-fingered Rich replied: “It’s neutral service, mate. You should have punctured earlier.” You tell him, pal! Bringing calm to the high-testosterone proceedings, somewhat in the manner of Sirrallun’s level-headed a grand dame Margaret Mountford, the ever-resourceful CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN put on what Martin described as “the best spread yet seen at any of the SE events” – but it’s not just her cakes and sandwiches that have been of interest this week, as you will discover by coming with us now to the badlands of Essex. Let’s get ready for a Rumble…
DONE TO A TEE
+++ Blackman executes coach’s plan for victory +++
The advice of Dynamo founding father Guy Andrews is seldom misjudged – so when the wily Rouleur editor told his protégé CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN to “rip it up from the start”, she knew exactly what had to be done at Saturday’s hour-long women’s race in Laindon, Essex, which was part of the Team Economic Energy Spring Rumble. Having turned on the gas at Ford’s Dunton test track, the Barnes schoolteacher instigated the break and made it stick before going early for the sprint, which enabled her to beat fast finishers Nikki Wheeler and TEE’s Anna Grundy to the top spot by a pleasing distance… http://tinyurl.com/69hwt3. Excellent work, Charlington! Victorious Charlie and TOBY ‘HUBBY’ BLACKMAN cycled back to the station just as it began to hail, which must have been roughly the same time as the sizeable band of ‘Mos racing in Chertsey started cursing the tiny icy balls stinging their bodies. The 1/2/3 race on the MoD circuit saw PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY power away from his four breakaway partners on the final lap before getting caught and then holding on for 5th, while chasing group pals IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL took 9th and 16th respectively… http://tinyurl.com/6hvaxx. In a change from tradition, the big boys’ event never caught the 3rds race, which was mainly because of the driving pace set by the yo-yoing break in the latter – and the small group containing STUART ‘EASY’ SPIES finally managed to keep a gap for the final sprint, thus allowing the on-form South African to claim an impressive 4th place… http://tinyurl.com/5qpx7y. But mystery still surrounds how Richard Meinesz could hit the deck after the Dulwich Paragonner won the 4th cat race earlier the same day. Could 2nd-placed CRAIG McCLEAN and CHRISTIAN ‘HARDCASTLE’ CORMACK… http://tinyurl.com/6zf6c7 …be able to shed light on the unexplained drop? We await news with interest!
THET’S ENTERTAINMENT
+++ Duo’s two visits to forest +++
Ever-keen to lure Dynamates towards the way of the knobbly tyre, mud-plugging evangelist WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER is hoping that next year will see crit men such as MIKE ‘LUNGER’ SNEYD make their debut Thetford Forest, which was where the lanky lad spent Saturday hurtling along the flat, twisty, off-road circuit to take 16th in the Sport category at the MTB National Points Series event. Also present in the wilds of the Suffolk-Norfolk border was MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON, who took on the serious class of the Masters category to achieve 44th… http://tinyurl.com/584mpw. And the mad-for-it pair returned to Thetford the very next day for the Whyte Enduro Series, where they unwisely opted for the full 62-mile distance and suffered accordingly after Saturday’s exertions. Will reveals: “I came 33rd in the end. Sadly, I wasn’t quick enough to avoid the downpour of rain and hail on the last lap. Before that, we had sunshine the whole weekend.” Sunshine? On a mountain bike? Where’s the fun in that?
…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ Get well soon to DERMOT CAMPBELL, who T-boned a car on Holland Park Avenue while out training +++ Time trialing officially more popular than ever among ‘Mos, as no fewer than nine – yes, nine – Dynamates prepare for the Farnham CC 25 tomorrow in Bentley, Hants +++ TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT and PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY listed as DNF on belated results for last week’s Hillingdon E/1/2/3 race, while self-styled “old git” ROBIN ‘OSSIE’ OSBORNE gets 19th… http://tinyurl.com/6jx3bp. Surely some mistakes? +++
DRIVEN AWAY
Francis the receptionist has announced that our cab has arrived, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff in before we are whisked off from Surallan’s waiting room back into non-entityland. Always remember we are a preening Raef… http://tinyurl.com/4539jo …and we would be nothing without you, our hard-working Renaissance team. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we bitch in the back of the taxi about how we were stitched up in the boardroom, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps
split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an Amstrad CPC.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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