DYNAMITE! #146, 15.06.07

November 19, 2010

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #146, 15.06.07
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 19C max, wind SW 10mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 19C max, wind W 9mph +++
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HUSHED UP
+++ Brilliant publicity plan kept under wraps +++
As a gleeful publisher of gossip, half-truths and dubious murmurings, this periodical has always ensured our growing army of loyal readers is the first to know what the club’s committee gets up to – so when one of our more impetuous hacks burst out of the Dynamo Towers’ boardroom with a red-hot scoop, it seemed obvious that the story should take top billing in this edition. But in an amazing turn of events, the editorial team has decided to withhold the precise details of a superbly ambitious scheme hatched by MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT just in case he doesn’t quite pull it off. Rather slyly, of course, DYNAMITE! also hopes that the lanky lad and his fellow committee members will rise to the challenge now that part of the green-lit plan is about to be revealed to every ‘Mo in the land, courtesy of the following three facts. Firstly, a group of media gurus is being approached to help out with the idea. Secondly, it should generate unprecedented worldwide publicity for the club. And thirdly, it will take place when the Tour de France makes its historic visit to London. We kid you not, Dynamates! These tantalising titbits will no doubt encourage you to join the official Dynamo ride to the prologue on Saturday 7th July, which will leave from the Roehampton Gate café in Richmond Park at 11.30am. Many Dynamos have already confirmed they will be joining SAM ‘EPIC’ WOODHOUSE on the following day’s much-anticipated ride to Goudhurst, Kent, for stage one, so hit your reply button right now if you want to book your place on the coach for the journey back to Hampton Court. But for now, let’s drown out the whispers surrounding Dynamo’s TdF plans with the usual DYNAMITE! fanfare as we celebrate a certain rider moving up a category almost 12 months after his season was brought to an abrupt halt by a road accident. It’s time to examine an X-ray of a torn patellar tendon…

KNEESY DOES IT
+++ Hayter takes final points as 3rd cat at Palace +++
Hungry point-hunter WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER came tantalisingly close to upgrading his licence on Sunday after schlepping out to Oxfordshire with JOE ‘BLOW’ HEMMANT for the 3/4 Bluestone Banbury RR. The matchstick man’s trademark red helmet was a familiar sight at the business end of the pack during all three gruelling ascents of Edgehill, which presented a gradient of 14 per cent over 1km – and domestique Joe made sure he chased down all the breaks for his long-limbed chum. Good lad! Will reveals: “Most of the people who were at the front at the top of the hill, including a chap with pink kit and hair like a girl, a cocky Loughborough student, and a diminutive climber from Swindon, proved not to have enough gas to make a break work. So it came down to a bunch finish. The organiser had managed to find a nasty rise away from the main climb to use as the finale, and our pink-clad friend zipped up to take 1st. I came in a painful 7th after Joe offered a thumping lead-out on the lower part of the finish.” Nice one, fellas! Exhausted Joe came 43rd… http://tinyurl.com/ypd75v …and recovered two days later to make his Crystal Palace debut in the E/1/2 race, which saw SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON nab 9th. But it was Will’s 3rd place in the 3/4 race that was the highlight of Tuesday evening… http://tinyurl.com/29v7an …as it was his best result so far in the crit series and the podium spot earned him enough points to become a 2nd cat. To put the icing on the cake, his graduation came almost exactly a year after he sustained a season-shortening knee injury thanks to an inattentive motorist who knocked him down as he cycled home from Palace. It just goes to show that you can’t keep a good ‘Mo down!

GUY BAULKS
+++ Powdrill declines to provide Smedley’s lead-out +++
It’s traditionally run in the opposite direction to the Tuesday night series with the finish on the fast back straight – and the Hillingdon Grand Prix once again lived up to its reputation for relentlessly high speeds when the latest fixture in the Elite Circuit Series was held at the west London venue on Saturday. The constant attacks in the muggy conditions took their toll on 1st cat fireballs TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT and PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY, who were out of the points in the 50-mile E/1/2 event, while the 2/3/4 support race saw GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN narrowly miss out on the top 10 as TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY took 8th in the mass gallop to the line… http://tinyurl.com/24w345. An astonishing total of 103 riders had signed on for the 50-minute rampage around the narrow mile-long circuit, so tactical Tony shrewdly enlisted GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL as his lead-out man only to watch the twin-piston powerhouse renege on their agreement by briefly getting into a break and then promptly disappearing as they neared the chequered flag. He owes you one, pal!

HIT AND MISSENDEN
+++ Heath fastest at inaugural edition of British sportive +++
Modest ‘Mo JAMES HEATH has dropped DYNAMITE! a line to mention what he describes as a “quite unexpected result” after venturing to Great Missenden, Bucks, the weekend before last for the first official Chiltern 100 event… http://tinyurl.com/24uhbz. Undaunted by the prospect of 2,630 metres of climbing, plucky Jim ended up completing the arduous 107-mile loop in 5hrs and 38mins, giving him the fastest time of the 94 finishers by a minute. And fellow sportivist LLYR WYNN JONES, who also took on the challenging gran fondo route through the Chilterns and the surrounding areas, finished five minutes behind, giving him 7th place. Excellent work, fellas!

MAG-NIFICO!
+++ Mystery ‘Mo featured in Italian publication +++
This edition began with a puzzler involving MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT – and now it ends with another. The lanky lad was browsing the magazines at WH Smith in Gatwick’s south terminal when he came across a publication entitled Italy. “I thought I’d take a look at it,” says Martin, “because that’s where I was heading. Interestingly, it had an article on cycling which featured photos of riders enjoying the Tuscan coutryside. ‘Mo and behold, the close-ups were of a mystery Dynamate wearing the Dynamo gilet. Congratulations for flying the flag of the most well-travelled club in Britain – but who are you?” Hit that reply button ASAP if you are that man!

TRAPS SHUT
The self-censoring editorial team is refusing to type another word, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff in for this issue and press “send” before they start making liberal use of the delete button. Always remember we are expert expurgators but we would be nothing without your copious material, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as another paragraph escapes being excised, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and the Obscene Publications Act.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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