DYNAMITE! #145, 08.06.07

November 19, 2010

+++ Intimate TV clip rediscovered +++
Over the years, our growing army of loyal readers has learned that there’s nothing DYNAMITE! likes more than a good chuckle – but unlike injury-hit IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE, the editorial standards of this publication would never stoop so low as to mock RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS for boobing at Crystal Palace… http://tinyurl.com/yvlwp4. Forum-dwellers may already be aware that the Wandsworth wag has invited members to contribute humorous captions for his photo of 3rd-placed Rich giving a victory salute a mere 19 seconds after the top two podium places had been snapped up in Tuesday’s E/1/2 race – and the Zabel-esque moment now threatens to undermine the appropriateness of the gym instructor’s well-earned Dyna-moniker. So rather than join in the teasing, your favourite Dynamatic news update will attempt to divert attention away from the poor fella by mentioning that GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL was 8th in the same race… http://tinyurl.com/ytnj28 …before we provide freshly-unearthed footage of a notable ex-Mo displaying his glowing gentlemen’s area to the nation. Just click the link labelled “Warrick on heat” to the right of this page… http://tinyurl.com/2yjv5o …and enjoy a clip from unremembered Sky One show So You Think You’re Fit, featuring MARTIN ‘BRAVEHEART’ BUDDEN, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES larking around Richmond’s Old Deer Park in October 2004 while their Cyclefit buddy gets a huge thermometer shoved up somewhere unusual. It has to be seen to be believed, Dynamates! With a bit of luck, the brilliant blue, black and orange vestments of Britain’s most telegenic pedal-tappers will be on the box once more when the world’s TV crews point their cameras at the crowds watching the start of the Tour de France next month – so come with us now as we reveal how the Dynamo committee is in the process of organising trips to the historic British stages. Here comes the final beep on the prologue starting ramp…

+++ All aboard for TdF rides +++
Dedicated social secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT and sportive director SAM ‘EPIC’ WOODHOUSE have been scooting around central London this week as they begin their bid to find the perfect spot for watching the much-anticipated Tour de France prologue on Saturday 7 July. The duo are organising a gentle, informal ride to the historic event, which will leave from the Roehampton Gate caf=E9 in Richmond Park at 11.30am, arriving around 12.45pm at the Albert Memorial. As if that wasn’t enough, diligent Paul has also worked out a 55-mile ride through Surrey, East Sussex and into Kent to watch the following day’s stage – and he’s hoping to get around 50 ‘Mos to join him. He reveals: “The plan is to catch the Tour at Goudhurst. It has a 4th cat climb, so the peloton should be going at a more manageable pace. We’ll go to good pub, ideally one with a screen, and they’ll be food and beers laid on. Then we’ll get a coach back to Hampton Court, tailed by a carefully-packed transit van with our bikes.” That sounds smashing! The subsidised Sunday outing will cost you just £10 – but for now, simply hit your reply button and tell us if you want to come so Paul can gauge numbers. It’s going to be a trip to remember!

+++ Batch of great results for lone Dynamos +++
Hopefully, four lone ‘Mos who each ventured into far-flung parts of the country at the weekend will come to the club’s TdF jaunts so their fellow members can congratulate them on their efforts. Off-roader KARL JOHNSTON was one of 307 competitors who did the 48-mile route of the Rough Ride in Kington, Herefordshire, on Sunday… http://tinyurl.com/yqeafg …and he ended up being the fastest by a margin of 3mins 43secs. Nice one, buddy! On the time trial front, JAMES STRATTON ventured to Bentley, Hants, on Saturday to complete the WLCA 30-miler in 1:06, which earned him 6th place… http://tinyurl.com/2a2dov …and the respect of impressed tester MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON. And over in Woodcote, Oxfordshire, JIM ‘CLARK’ KENT was the only Dynamo representative at Sunday’s 3/4 support race for the Central Region Championships, which saw him avoid a pile-up on the last lap to take 8th… http://tinyurl.com/278mgr. But HUW ‘AITCH’ WATKINS was the loneliest ‘Mo of all, racing in Kent for the second week running without another blue, black and orange jersey in sight – although he still managed to finish 7th on SERRL’s Kenardington circuit… http://tinyurl.com/yph7ma. Team-mates – who needs ’em? Norman No-mates’ 3rd cat chums had forsaken the long trek to Woodchurch Scout Hall in favour of the previous day’s quick drive to MoD Chertsey, where RICHARD ‘BOY RACER’ DOLBY, WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER and ‘RADAR’ RUSS TURNER took 5th, 7th and 8th respectively in the 40-mile race… http://tinyurl.com/yunavj. The gloriously sunny day also saw TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT claim 2nd in the E/1/2 event after getting into the early break which would end up bagging the top 12 places – and 16th-placed IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE was put out of action a few days later by a careless driver… http://tinyurl.com/356xco.
Get well soon, pal – you’ve got to get a third win at Palace before the end of the season!

+++ McSharry survives war of attrition +++
It presented 7,400 metres of climbing over the course of 325 miles, and the field of 800 riders was whittled down to 102 before the finish in Sutton Montis, Somerset – so PETA McSHARRY deserves a hearty pat on the back for braving the daunting Quantocks to complete the Tour of Wessex sportive during the recent Bank Holiday weekend… http://tinyurl.com/2dtmuz. The Dyna-masseuse, who bagged 2nd in her age category and 96th overall, was one of only nine ladies to finish the three-day event, which saw rain pour down continually on the second day. Unhappy camper KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF didn’t have a stitch of dry kit left and decided to opt out of the final stage when she peered out of her tent and saw that it was still raining. Wise move! Crazy Dynamates ANDREW ELLIS, MERVYN EVANS and JUSTIN WEBB failed to heed her example, clocking times of 20 hours or thereabouts to take 23rd, 25th and 32nd place respectively on the final GC… http://tinyurl.com/3adl3x. But this particular item is all about the Dynamettes – and it wouldn’t be complete without mentioning JENNY ‘J-LLOYD’ JONES’ return to competition at the South East and Central Women’s Road Race Championships at Ewhurst, Surrey, on Saturday. The duathlete, who has endured an eight-week wait for her
wrist to heal, achieved her goal of finishing with the lead group and was awarded the central region silver medal while 4th-placed CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN secured the south east silver… http://tinyurl.com/2esgvn. Possibly of greater interest to some is chatty Charlie’s burgeoning friendship with Rapha Condor’s Sophie Ruderman, which was forged in the heat of competition as the pair helped drive the pace on the Ellens Green circuit. The Barnes schoolteacher, who won the prime and came 2nd at the Hillingdon women’s race on Wednesday, now has the much-admired blonde’s digits in her mobile, making her the envy of many Dyna-men. And she has discovered that Sophie has a twin sister. We kid you not, fellas!

+++ First race in E/1/2/3/4 Mercedes-Benz World Series on the twisty Weybridge circuit sees TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT take 7th and IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE finish 13th… http://tinyurl.com/yrvere +++ GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL 15th and DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE 18th at Central Road Race Championships in Woodcote, Oxfordshire… http://tinyurl.com/2gfud6 +++ ‘RADAR’ RUSS TURNER 8th at Eelmore 3/4 race… http://tinyurl.com/28ewrv.

The race to be first with the week’s Dynamo-related news is over, which means there’s just enough time to throw our hands heavenward as we thank everyone who sent in stuff for this issue. Always remember that we are the finish line, but we would be nothing without you, our ever-present commissaires. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we tumble off inches from the chequered flag, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a pair of glasses.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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