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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #106, 30.06.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 29C max, wind S 6mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 30C max, wind E 6mph +++
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MAG-NIFICENT GESTURE
+++ Top-selling periodical gives Dynamo free publicity +++
Every Friday morning, this humble publication is fortunate enough to exercise a virtual monopoly on the attention of a select cycling audience – so the editorial team is understandably reluctant to publicise prominent paper-based periodicals which might replace DYNAMITE! in the end-of-the-week, light-read-and-a-latte ritual enjoyed by literally several Dynamates scattered from Soho to Dubai. Or at least we were until a certain Bath-based publishing house made us an offer we couldn’t refuse. That’s right, media-savvy reader – for just this one edition, we are officially endorsing Cycling Plus, or C+ as it’s known to its close pals such as us. A leaflet plopped onto the mat of our famous soundproof bunker in the bowels of Dynamo Towers this week trumpeting a “great offer” which had us intrigued. It appears we have qualified for a “special subscription invitation” to “test ride” three issues for a fiver and get 25 per cent off for the rest of the year. What a bargain! The “testimonials from happy readers” were persuasive, especially that of the geographically anomalous Paul Morris of Stuttgart (“One new reader gained! My wife reads it too!”) – but the Cee-Plussers proved they really know a thing or two about great advertising by including this inspiring photograph next to their enthusiastic recommendations… http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/album_pic.php?pic_id=282. Now that’s the kind of publicity the Dynamo committee just can’t buy! Compact mechanic SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON – for it is he in his trademark blinging white gloves at last year’s Excel crit – couldn’t stop chuckling behind the counter of A Certain Hampton Wick Retailer when he found out how his image is bringing the barmy blue, black and orange army to an even wider audience. And talking of spreading the word, another ‘Mo has been sprinkling a bit of Dyna-magic over the Welsh valleys with a brilliant podium finish – so come with us for a limited period only as we reveal for the bargain price of nothing at all what happened. Here comes the deal of a lifetime…
SAINT JUDGED AND THE DRAGON
+++ Surprise decision robs Jeffroy of Welsh win +++
It’s the moment every sportive rider secretly dreams will happen – not simply finishing with a decent time, but actually beating masses of other riders to the top spot. And that exquisite feeling was experienced by none other than ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY, who saw off around 1500 other competitors to land the No.1 spot on the provisional results of the Dragon Ride. According to race officials on the day, the Ealing wonderman completed Sunday’s arduous 100-mile loop from Bridgend, South Wales… http://tinyurl.com/n35vb …in a winning time of 4:53:22, almost seven minutes ahead of the 2nd-placed rider. Incredible stuff! Committee man SAM ‘SPORTIF’ WOODHOUSE and the 10 other ‘Mos who also completed the Welsh expedition through the Brecon Beacons… http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/album_pic.php?pic_id=281 …gave victorious Rob hearty pats on the back when the good news came through – but sadly, the hirsute hero didn’t feel like letting his hair down in celebration when he returned to London. It appears the final results differed in one important detail, as the judges decided to award 1st place to a previously unlisted bloke called Alastair Davis who seems to have relegated Rob to 2nd by a mere 43 frigging seconds. Unlucky, pal! Dynamo’s courteous road user was left to ponder how different things might have been had he not observed two red lights going into the finish. If only he had followed JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS’ example!
SIX APPEAL
+++ Mason is highest-placed of half-dozen ‘Mos who finished stage race +++
Speaking of the Highway Code contravener, Joe might well have been praying for a red light to appear when he cramped up during the first stage of the much-anticipated Pearson’s Cycles Jaunts on Friday evening. The 13-mile individual time trial in Withyham, East Sussex, saw RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON set out his stall early by finishing 11th with a time of 34:05… http://tinyurl.com/japzy …while DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE came 13th. Not to be outdone, sprint sensation JUSTIN ‘ON A WHIM’ SIMS took 4th at Alfold on the 71-mile 2nd stage of the Surrey League five-day event as his team-mates got stuck behind a nasty crash. Rich finished 7th on day three after getting in a break with soft-tapping Graham Wood of Crawley CC, which forced him to do two laps of the 61-mile Leith Hill course with no help. What a ride! With Joe bowing out and MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON having retired after Stage 2, GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN and the five other remaining members of the Dynamo contingent were left to brave Crowhurst in the lashing rain. Drenched MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT reveals: “There was a route change at the last minute due to road works – and this is the roughest, narrowest Surrey League course. To make it even worse, the rain masked huge pot holes and man hole covers.” Water disaster! The diluvial conditions scuppered Justin’s chances of breakaway glory in the penultimate lap when his two companions slid on a corner, leaving him on his own – yet the determined lad still managed to bag 7th place after being swept up by the bunch. Nice one! The final stage at Ellens Green saw Dave and RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT get in a useful break before everyone came back together for the mass gallop, which saw Justin place 3rd. But it was Richard’s strong time trial and 7th place at Leith Hill that got him 9th place on the final general classification… http://tinyurl.com/kjg5d …making him the highest-placed Dynamate in the event. Have a rest, pal – you deserve it!
EVANS AND HELL
+++ Hayter beats family member from rival team in gruelling MTB challenge +++
It took 20 hours of riding with just 45 minutes sleep to cover 120 bumpy off-road miles – but after 21 laps, exhausted MTB maestro WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER finally climbed off his bike at the Saab Salomon Mountain Mayhem Bike Festival in Ledbury, Hertfordshire. Now stats amazing! The knobbly-tyred tearaway finished 30th among the 110 solo riders at Europe’s biggest 24-hour mountain bike race… http://tinyurl.com/qsmtx …and he was especially pleased to beat an unnamed Evans rider who happens to be his cousin. Will admits the race at the weekend was the hardest he has ever done my a long chalk, but adds: “Things were occasionally livened up by STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES overtaking me while shouting incoherent encouragement.” That sounds just like the affable Saffa! Stu, who was riding the team event, nabbed 7th place at Beastway the previous Wednesday after he was momentarily stalled by his chain popping out – and he was reunited with his hardtail chum Will when he returned to Lea Valley’s dirty circuit this week to take 3rd in the masters… http://tinyurl.com/ekrrh. Crazy Hayter, meanwhile, nabbed 5th in the sport category and credits a massage from KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF for getting his muscles back in working order so soon after his mammoth ride. There’s gonna be a queue for a rub-down!
…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ On-the-mend RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS gears up for E/1/2 road race comeback with 25-mile time trial, posting 55:29 on H25/8 in Bentley, Hants, on Saturday – but TT titan PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN finishes 49secs quicker +++ Dynamette KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF finishes her first 25 in 1:08 at Sunday’s Century CC event in Ware, Herts +++ IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE takes 8th and GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY nabs 10th at the Crystal Palace E/1/2 race on Tuesday, while JAMIE MOULDING gets the No.10 spot in the 3/4 event… http://tinyurl.com/ryx85 +++
OFFER ENDS NOW
The money-off vouchers have run out, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who contributed to this issue before the till closes. Always remember we are constantly slashing prices, but we would be nothing without you, our bargain-hunting consumer. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BOTTOM DOLLAR’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, before anyone asks for a refund, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a money-back guarantee.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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