DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #81, 18.11.05
GRACE AND FAVOURS
For many years now, some of the retail emporiums that are held in the highest esteem by the nation’s shoppers have been starting their January sales a month earlier – and now it’s the turn of your favourite clothing outlet to push this unstoppable global consumer trend one step further. That’s right, bargain-hunting reader – tomorrow will see a corner of Richmond Park transformed into the Grace Brothers department store as NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK, PAUL ‘RUMBOLD’ CALLINAN, RUSSELL ‘INMAN’ SHORT and the rest of the hard-selling Dyna-management make sure you certainly are being served with a limited stock of dashing Dynamo kit at unbelievable knock-down discounts. Don’t say the club doesn’t do you any favours! Britain’s most stylish cycle garments will be slashed to half of their original price – so warming winter gilets will cost a mere £30 while bib shorts and jerseys are each going for £15. Anyone would be crazy to miss this never-to-be-repeated end-of-racing-season sale! You’re more likely to see Mrs Slocombe’s mythical pussy than get change from the ringing Dynamo cash register, so please remember to bring the right Dyna-money if you want the goods. Tomorrow’s sale is, of course, all part of the club’s eagerly anticipated Annual General Meeting where Rusty will formerly announce that the dates for next year’s training camp in Mallorca are 1st-8th April – and DYNAMITE! is delighted to be doing its bit by including the agenda as our very first “pull-out” section. That handy innovation means this collectors’ edition will be worth at least 50p in ten years’ time! You can print out the running order listed below and bring it along to the AGM, which kicks off at nine in the cafe by Roehampton Gate and is followed by the Parkride. Every member will get to have their say on the future of the club and you’ll get to meet all of the ‘Mos who want to run the show next year – but they’ll only join the greatly-expanded committee if YOU decide they deserve the honour. Your votes count, Dynamates! In the meantime, we’ll be lubricating the wheels of Dynamo decision-making with a reminder of this year’s forthcoming Christmas social. So without further ado, let news of the jollities commence!
HOL-BORN AGAIN
It was a massive hit last Chrimbo – and now social secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT along with his co-conspirator NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK have once again secured valuable bar space at the Cittie of York pub at 22 High Holborn for London Dynamo’s second annual festive shindig. The last yuletide boozing session was a roaring success, so send Paul a Dyna-mail to pharknett@savills.com if you plan on joining in the fun on Thursday 15th December at 6.15pm. A trip to a curry house later on looks likely, so save some room for a peshwari naan or two!
GIVING IT HIS WALL
In addition to tomorrow’s brilliant clothing sale, the AGM will also give dozens of Dynamates the chance to finally see laconic bike-fitting guru JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL in the flesh – and you can congratulate Cyclefit’s compact co-owner on his superb return to cyclo-cross racing on Sunday after a four-year gap. Jules took the No.9 spot in the vets category and admits the 8th round of the London Cyclo-Cross League at Lydden Hill motor circuit was a “very, very uncomfortable experience” – but the Covent Garden masochist adds: “We need some more bods for the team champs in January. Anyone interested?” Mad mud-lovers form an orderly queue in WC2!
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YES! IT’S DYNAMITE’S INAUGURAL PULL-OUT SECTION!
No self-respecting publication is worth its cover price until it makes a superficial attempt to add more value to the overall product by increasing its size – which is one of the reasons why DYNAMITE! is free of charge. So think of this as an experiment to discover if any of our shrewd readership is fooled into confusing quality with quantity as we bring you a supplement consisting solely of the agenda for tomorrow’s AGM. Let’s take a look at those points in full!
AGENDA, LONDON DYNAMO AGM, 19.11.05
1. Quick review of the year
2. Thanks to club officials
3. Re-elect officials
3.1. Race Secretaries
3.2. Events Secretaries
3.3. Cyclosportif Secretary/Triathlon Secretary
3.4. Time Trial Secretary
3.5. Off-Road Secretary
3.6. Kit Secretary
3.7. Ride Leaders
3.8. President
3.9. Website and E-mail Enquiries Manager
4. Newsletter
5. Club website
6. 2006 races
7. Junior support and quick discussion on youth policy
8. Ladies’ membership
9. Training camp
10. Parkride
11. Any other business
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CALIFORNIA PRAISIN’
Finally, we’re able to bring you some long-overdue news from NEIL JONES’s daring double century ride through California’s Death Valley which took place at the end of last month. The intrepid fella started 165ft below sea level and crossed into Nevada five hours later on a windy plain at an altitude of 4,000ft. Incredible stuff! Neil, who managed to avoid the coyotes and rattlesnakes when they came out to play at twilight, finished the ride in 15hrs 2mins, which put him 47th among the 84 finishers. Well done, pal! Praising the Californian experience, Neil says: “Rattling along virtually car-free roads in glorious sunshine through some spectacular scenery was fantastic. The final descent at more than 40mph under an ocean of stars was awesome and it was very uplifting having everybody at the checkpoints really chuffed that someone would consider coming all the way from London to ride their race.” Tell them we’ll return the favour if they ever stuck up Leith Hill!
CASHING UP
The rails of tailor-made news items have been emptied by you, our eager customers, which means there’s just enough time left to thank everyone for their contributions before we shut the doors and count the week’s takings. Always remember that we are a dutiful Mr Harmen but we would be nothing without you, our glamorous Miss Brahms. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘I’M FREE!’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as our non-British readership and younger members scratch their heads over this edition’s references to a 33-year-old BBC sitcom, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: Annual General meeting at the café by Roehampton Gate, followed by the Parkride. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a blue rinse.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride into Surrey, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, 13TH NOVEMBER – LONDON CYCLO CROSS LEAGUE, ROUND 8, LYDDEN HILL MOTOR RACING CIRCUIT: 1 Mick Bell (London Fire Brigade); 2 Phil Watkins (Addiscombe); 3 Chris Hughes (VC Deal/Hammonds/ACTiV); 4 Richard Wood (VC Deal/Hammonds/ACTiV) 5 Konrad Manning (Finsbury Park); 6 Pat Hayes Orbea (GB); 7 Glenn Hord (unatt); 8 Ian Cleverley (Mosquito Bikes); 9 JULIAN WALL (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 Paul Warner (Team Darenth); 11 Ray Coop (VC Deal/Hammonds); 12 Mark Wade (VC Deal/Hammonds); 13 Martin Apps (VC Deal/Hammonds); 14 Martin Dawkins (VC Deal/Hammonds); 15 C McCann (VC Elan); 16 Garry Ashton-Coulton (agiskoviner.com); 17 David Steele (London Phoenix); 18 Jim Whenman (Team Darenth); 19 Barry Allen (London Phoenix); 20 Trevor Butler (VC Deal/Hammonds/ACTiV); 21 Peter Sykes (VC Deal/Hammonds/ACTiV); 22 Roger Hornsby (GS Avanti); 23 Bob Griffiths (Lee Valley).
THE LAST WORD
“Ground floor, telephones, gents’ ready-made suits, shirts, socks, ties, hats, underwear and shoes, going up – baa ba-bap baa baa!”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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