DYNAMITE! #91, 17.03.06

November 20, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #91, 17.03.06
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail news, views, and gossip to news@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click “newsletter” +++ Have a peek at our pics at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/album_personal.php?user_id=321 +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, cloudy, 7C max, wind E 13mph; Sun, cloudy, 8C max, wind NE 17mph +++

Exclusive deals for London Dynamo members at CycleFit, including: 5 per cent off Serotta, Elite TT and Glider frames 10 per cent off all parts, shoes and accessories (including Sidi, Rocket 7, Polar) 20 per cent off all CycleFitting, Cardio/Fitness Testing and Sidas Custom Footbeds E-mail info@cyclefit.co.uk for details or see http://www.cyclefit.co.uk

+++ Dynamo bottles on sale at Parkride tomorrow +++
A couple of years ago during a torrential downpour at Goodwood, a certain stylish squad announced its arrival on the cycling scene with the appearance of a snazzy blue jersey worn by PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN – and it wasn’t long before the distinctive design was plastered across dozens of gilets and skinsuits. Historic events like the first appearance of the now-legendary blue, black and orange kit – still available, incidentally, from club sponsors Cyclefit – only come along once in a while, but tomorrow will mark an equally Dynamo-mentous occasion when the Dynamo brand finally branches out into water bottles. That’s right, liquid-loving reader – you can now take a hearty swig from a London Dynamo bidon while wearing your favourite club kit…


Just drink in that glorious image! In an echo of his sitcom shop assistant Dyna-moniker, chief bottler NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK will be selling the latest addition to the Dynamo range tomorrow at the Parkride – and his attractive prices are at least 20 per cent less than a certain High Street bike retailer would ask for a similar-sized receptacle that doesn’t display the name of the capital’s best beverage-imbibing club. Nick, who has done a sterling job of securing the high-quality 750ml bottles, will charge just £6 for two or £10 for four. Just remember to have the correct change when he opens up his car boot! In the meantime, there are plenty more refreshing Dynamatic items to gulp down, so let’s pop open the nipple cap of fact and squirt out some cool, wet news onto the face of our thirsty readership. Here comes a big splash…

+++ First-ever Dynamette in meet-the-members slot +++
Eagle-eyed readers will immediately notice that this particular section, which aims to introduce a different ‘Mo each week to the wider membership, has been given a higher billing in DYNAMITE! than usual – and there’s a very good reason why the editorial team has decided to make it the second item on the running order. Earlier this week, Membership Co-ordinator DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS acted on the long-held observation made by Social Secretary PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT that the club needs to develop its slim number of female riders – so the Teddington titan suggested Dynamo should have its very own Ladies’ Secretary. The committee unanimously passed the motion, so now all we need are some willing volunteers! The aim of having the post – which Cheltenham Ladies’ College alumnus GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL will be disappointed to learn is open to women candidates only – is to encourage the growth of Dynamo’s female membership. The winner will be decided by a ballot of existing lady members once the candidate or candidates has submitted some form of manifesto. So if you think you fit the bill or would like to know more, Dyna-mail news@londondynamo.co.uk with “Ladies’ Secretary” in the subject heading and we’ll pass on your details. To help with David’s gender equality drive, this publication has decided to showcase the first Dynamette in our brilliant getting-to-Mo-you section – although we would like to stress that the person in question didn’t know at the time that the Ladies Secretary post was going to be created, so the following should not be interpreted as an attempt at electioneering. With that political note out of the way, we can now hand you over to KIMBERLY KABATOFF, who’s looking for somebody to rub…

NAME: Kimberly Kabatoff, but you can call me Kimbers
AGE: 37. (Honest. I expect I’ll start lying about it soon, though.)
OCCUPATION: When I actually do work (I’ve been a lady of leisure for quite a while now) it’s as a management consultant on projects in the investment banking industry involving large-scale systems implementations and organisational change. But I’m currently studying sports massage and my dream job would be working as soigneur with a professional cycling team! So I’m interested in helping out at races if there’s anything useful I could do. This also seems like a great opportunity to appeal for willing victims, erm I mean volunteers, to help me log the 100 hours of massage practice I need to complete my qualification. If you’re willing to travel to my place (see answer to next question below), I’ll give you free massage. Contact me at massage@ktkabatoff.plus.com
LOCATION: E1, near Limehouse DLR Station
BIKE: LeMond Reno in stealth black and racy red
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN RIDING? Since way back in May, 2005
WHY DID YOU JOIN THE CLUB? I wanted to join a cycling club to avoid becoming the typical triathlete cyclist with no bike-handling ability. Why Dynamo specifically? I asked the guys at Cyclefit for advice and was naive enough to follow it
WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS THIS SEASON? I’m racing middle distance triathlon and would like to post a sub-three-hour bike split (90km) in at least one of my races
IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN DYNA-MONIKER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? If you wanted to get alliterative, I could be “Canuck” which would be entirely true but boring. Or “The Kannibal” with the “K” ensuring it’s obviously meant ironically. Or how about Kim “Possible” Kabatoff?
HAS VOLUBLE FORMER CLUB PRESIDENT GUY ANDREWS EVER SHOUTED AT YOU ON THE PARKRIDE? No-one’s yet shouted at me. You’ve all been perfect gentlemen
GO BAR OR POWERBAR? Powerbar – especially the TdF KOM special edition caffeinated coconut crisp flavour
FAVOURITE AND LEAST FAVOURITE PART OF THE NEWSLETTER? I think “Knowing ‘Mo, Knowing You” will become my favourite part
FINALLY, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO KEN BUIST IF YOU MET HIM? I’m shy, so I’d wait for him to say something first

Cheers, Kimberly! You are now in the running for a month’s supply of Maximuscle energy and recovery drink courtesy of club sponsors Cyclefit, which will be awarded to the best entry we receive as judged by DYNAMITE! at the end of the year. But perhaps the following story is a better incentive for the chosen few plucked from this organ’s famous Bucket of Luck (TM), as it shows what good fortune can come your way in a race after you fill out our probing questionnaire…

+++ Newcomer Sneyd wins sprint at Alfold +++
First there was RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS, who won his second consecutive race after DYNAMITE! christened him with a prophetic Dyna-moniker – and now another previously-unknown Dynamate has gone onto great things following his appearance in this very publication. Step forward last week’s Knowing Mo, Knowing You star MICHAEL ‘FLOYD’ SNEYD, who nailed 2nd at the 3rd cat race in Alfold on Sunday by out-sprinting the pack while tenacious NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK held the Australian’s wheel to take 5th…


The bunch was 20 seconds behind first-placed Niall Digby of Sigma – and hard man ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY deserves a special mention for going with almost every single break during the 55-mile race. Fifteenth on the finishing sheet doesn’t do your efforts justice, buddy! There was more bad luck the previous day in Crowhurst…


…when baby-faced DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE was forced out of a promising break in the 60-mile 2/3 race due to a puncture, leaving RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT to reclaim some Dynamo glory by taking 3rd in the sprint, giving him 8th overall. And David made up for his misfortune by nabbing 12th at Alfold’s 2/3 event on Sunday with Rusty finishing two places behind him…


Expect to see expert climber Rusty higher up the list of finishers when the tactically-aware tiddler isn’t on such a flat course!

+++ At last – Powdrill gets new hat +++
Finally, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT’s 7th place at the E/1/2/3 Spring Chicken race in Charndon, Bucks, was overshadowed this weekend by fellow Dynamo big-hitter GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL. The twin-piston powerhouse was hurtling around freezing Eastway on Saturday where he scraped into the points with 15th place in the Simon Hook Memorial E/1/2 race – but more importantly, he finally responded to his team-mates’ mockery by ditching his cube-like yellow helmet in favour of a more stylish crash-lid…


That’s the proud pout of a man who knows the riders behind him are no longer pointing and laughing!

We’ve reached the bottom of the bidon, which means there is just time to thank everyone who contributed to this issue before we petulantly toss it, Cipollini-style, at a hapless commissaire. Please remember that DYNAMITE! is a flimsy bottle cage and it would be nothing without you, the bolts that keep it lodged to the frame, so please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BEVERAGE’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we suck on a dry plastic nipple, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a flip-top cap.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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