DYNAMITE! #95, 14.04.0

November 20, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #95, 14.04.06
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail news, views, and gossip to news@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click “newsletter” +++ Have a peek at our pics at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/album_personal.php?user_id=321 +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 14C max, wind SE 8mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 17C max, wind N 10mph +++

+++ Luggage delay fails to dampen training campers’ spirits +++
They arrived at Palma airport for their flight home, each with around 500 arduous training miles in their legs. They waited an eternity while hopeless British Midland staff gradually began to comprehend that they had already paid to have their bikes put on the plane. They boarded their flight more than an hour late due to a security alert. And when they finally got to Heathrow, it looked like half of them were going to walk away empty-handed from the barren luggage carousels before baggage staff eventually pulled their fingers out. But none of these setbacks, or even the torrential downpour that greeted them as they headed down the M4, could dampen the spirits of the tanned 18-strong party which returned from Dynamo’s annual foreign jaunt on Sunday – because for the preceding seven days they had experienced what many old hands agreed was the best training camp since Cyclefit’s PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL and JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL began taking groups to Mallorca five years ago. For the first week in April 2006, the island became Dyna-Mallorca as the barmy blue, black and orange army barelled through the north of the Balearic isle in a two-line formation which was tighter than DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE’s kiddie-sized shorts – and the pace was more blistering than DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER’s sunburn. It doesn’t get any hotter than that! The warm weather certainly made the San Miguels taste sweeter as the campers bantered about the day’s riding by the pool – so pack your bags as we return to the Club Pollentia resort to reveal what GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS, PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, CARLOS ‘THE JACKAL’ CONCEICAO, KEVIN ‘FULLA S***’ FITZPATRICK, PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON, NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY, STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES, SIMON ‘RIGHT REVEREND’ WRIGHT, DAVID ‘GOLIATH’ ANDREWS, and the two other abovementioned Davids were cracking jokes about. Let’s unzip that bulging suitcase of anecdotes…

+++ Streule’s shorts story +++
The Mallorcan senoritas got quite an eyeful on the second day of the camp when boyish DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE emerged from his hotel room wearing a snug-fitting pair of blue shorts for the ride to San Salvador. Baggage handlers had misplaced all of his luggage, including his trusty Cannondale, forcing the lanky lad to rent a bike and buy some temporary kit from a local shop run by a helpful friend of GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY. Thankfully, all of David’s gear eventually turned up – and PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT witnessed the locals giving him a round of applause on the rest day when the show-off cycled up a flight of stairs in the town square. All those years spent mountain biking in his youth finally paid off!

+++ Powdrill misses out on hallowed climb due to mechanical +++
During the week-long team competition, the head-to-head battle for points between 1st cat fireball GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL and 2nd cat sensation STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES provided most of the drama at the top of each arduous ascent – but sadly, the twin-piston powerhouse ruled himself out of contention on Thursday, leaving the rest of the group to tackle what has traditionally been the camp’s most testing climb. Guy put the power down on a steep switchback en route to the day’s first cafe stop in Bunyola, snapping not one, not two, but THREE whole spokes on his treasured Cosmic carbons. Unlucky, buddy! Thankfully, Dyna-manager RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT had decided to take the team car due to his knee causing problems the previous day, so the miffed ‘Mo was able to throw his newly-repainted glittery-red carbon Trek in the back of the Fiat and join Rusty on the drive to the top of fearsome Puig ‘Pug’ Major. He would have had a 30-mile walk home otherwise! From his vantage point in the rear passenger seat, Guy was able to witness one of the most determined rides of the trip as perennial “bobber” STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS rocked like a bronco on his For Goodness Shakes-branded Colnago trying to stay with the fast-paced lead group, only to get dropped, fight his way back on, and then get cruelly dropped again. Incredible stuff! The other Stuart beat Guy into 2nd place at Arta the next day and repeated the result the day after on the final climb at Randa, which DYNAMITE! captured on its box Brownie…


But the chirpy property broker, who won the inaugural retro time trial on Wednesday, refused to let the double defeat get him down – and with a little help from GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY’s camera trickery, he proved he still loves himself as much as ever…


The cheek of the man!

+++ Carlos sets new record for punctures +++
The near-flawless navigation from the front of the pack by Dyna-managers RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK and PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN was part of the reason why 2006 was the most enjoyable training camp to date – but unlucky CARLOS ‘THE JACKAL’ CONCEICAO was probably more grateful for official puncture repair boy CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL riding at the back with a handy Zefal pump strapped to his shiny new unpainted titanium steed. The silver souffle, who was always around at those unpredictable moments of deflation, spent an entertaining hour at a deserted English-themed pub near Alcudia on Friday with PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT, DAVID ‘GOLIATH’ ANDREWS and Carlos after they stopped in the midst of the only downpour of the week to help the hairy-legged rider with his third puncture. That’s a training camp record which they got to witness first-hand!

+++ Turncoat Andrews walks off with team prize +++
Despite NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK adjusting the scorecard with a hefty penalty for DAVID ‘GOLIATH’ ANDREWS’ failure to wear retro kit on the 2.7 mile time trial, the four-man team led by former Dynamo president GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS still managed to win the week-long points competition by a country mile, mainly thanks to STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES effortlessly finishing either 1st or 2nd on each climb. Curses! To make matters worse, style-obsessed Guy continually wore Rapha Condor kit on every single ride before jetting off on Thursday. We don’t care if you’re racing for another team this season – rules is frigging rules on the camp, pal! Happily, the RoadCyclingUK editor partially redeemed himself on Wednesday by raising a chuckle with his special TT machine, which you can view in our gallery…


…and DYNAMITE! is looking forward to seeing more great pictures of Dynamates taken by his amiable photographer Gerard ‘Neddy’ Brown during the trip. The club has never looked so good!

+++ Mystery ‘Mo spotted along coast +++
Our last item on the training camp agenda is a plea for an unknown ‘Mo to come forward. A chap in Dynamo kit was twice spotted wheeling along the coast past the hotel in a group of about a dozen riders, each of whom appeared to be wearing various pro-team replica outfits. Was this you? Dyna-mail news@londondynamo.co.uk to put us out of our misery!

+++ McKinley gives his all at Ironman +++
It wasn’t just the training campers who were getting a tan – because over in the States, ED ‘THE MAN’ McKINLEY was sweating it out in 90-degree heat as he pushed himself to the limit at the Arizona Ironman. The affable American says: “The bike was the worst leg. It was a flat course and my back was good for 20 of the 112 miles in a tuck position. The mantra of the Cyclefit guys – ‘stretching makes you faster’ – couldn’t be more true.” It’s time to start touching your toes, buddy! Ed clocked a time of 11 hours 27 minutes, giving him an impressive 8th place in the 50-54 age group and 300th overall on the 2000-strong list of finishers. And no-one was more surprised than DYNAMITE! when Ed told minor ‘Mo CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL that their long winter rides together had contributed to his success. He revealed: “They were the core of my conditioning and I was singing your praises as I started that marathon, knowing that only the conditioning could get me through the next 26 miles.” So the West Ken lad has some use after all!

+++ Elite Dynamate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT took 4th on Saturday at the Westerley CC E/1/2 race at Hillingdon, while a six-man sprint in the 3rd cat event saw WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER take the No.3 spot with JIM ‘CLARK’ KENT finishing 9th – http://www.londoncyclesport.com/reports_2006/westerley_crits2.html http://www.londoncyclesport.com/reports_2006/westerley_crits.html +++ Hardy JUSTIN ‘ON A WHIM’ SIMS dragged the bunch around at Ninfield’s 2/3 race on Sunday, reducing the main group to just over a dozen riders before he took 7th with CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN finishing one place behind – http://www.surreyleague.co.uk/results/results2006/apr2006/apr9pm.htm +++

The name tag has been filled in and the combination lock has clicked shut, which means there’s just enough time to wheel this edition to the check-in desk before we thank everyone who has contributed to this issue. Please remember that we are a sturdy Samsonite case but we would be nothing without you, our toiletries bag, so please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘RUCKSACK’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we discover our suitcase has exceeded the weight limit, it only remains for us to remind you about…


9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a trunk.

7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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