DYNAMITE! #96, 21.04.06

November 20, 2010

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #96, 21.04.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click “newsletter” +++ Have a peek at our pics at
http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/album_personal.php?user_id=321 +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 17C max, wind E 5mph; Sun, light showers, 18C max, wind N 6mph +++
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CRASH SPAM WALLOPED
+++ Update your address book – Dyna-mail address has changed +++
Thanks to its unique blend of hand-crafted puns, bike-related news from across the south-east and KEN BUIST, this publication has attracted enormous attention from far beyond the cycling community – but like the proverbial rhinestone cowboy, the editorial team is constantly surprised by the sheer volume of Dyna-mails shoved in its inbox every day by people we don’t even know. There’s a generous Nigerian businessman, for example, who is begging to put £4million in our bank account in exchange for a one-off “goodwill” payment of £10,000, or the ever-helpful Zak571 who sends constant reminders to buy Microsoft Office for a knock-down price. And, of course, there are dozens of medical outlets offering to make this organ bigger, all of whom have never spoken to the perfectly-satisfied Mrs Dynamite. During the past two years, legions of such pen pals had stumbled across our contact details on the club’s website – but that address bit the dust this week when the Dynamo system crashed. Sadly, our replacement address will not be appearing on the web page, which means we will probably no longer receive around three-dozen flippin’ messages a day that have nothing whatsoever to do with Dynamo. We don’t know how we’ll cope! To complicate matters slightly, the system has crashed AGAIN, which is why this edition is a few hours late, and the address you have received this message from is an emergency replacement – so PLEASE DO NOT REPLY to this e-mail. Instead, send stuff to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk which should be up and running as soon as our new web hosts sort out the problem. Right then – back in the real world, many intrepid Dynamates put in an eggs-tra special effort at the weekend to make sure the club had a successful Easter – so come with us now as we reveal how one event in particular was “spammed” with more ‘Mos than any other race. Let’s turn on the junk filter…

STAPLE GUNNED
+++ Battalion of ‘Mos shoot down opposition in Surrey League showdown +++
The Dynamo Easter campaign got off to a cracking start on Saturday with diligent domestique DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE chasing down every break at the Milland Hill 2/3 event before finishing shattered at the back of the bunch. His efforts reaped dividends in the 60-mile race, which was won by Louis Charity of Team Corridori, as RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON took 5th, JUSTIN ‘ON A WHIM’ SIMS 6th, GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN 7th, MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT 10th, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY 12th and DAVID ‘PROFESSOR’ WILLIAMS 17th…

http://www.londoncyclesport.com/reports_2006_sl/13_milland.html

…although 2nd cat sensation STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES was left to chase the bunch in vain after a visit from the puncture fairy in the neutralised zone. Curses! The deflated South African blagged a front wheel off a spectator and sat coughing behind her van’s diesel smoke-cloud as she motor-paced him – but he made up for the disappointment by taking 5th at Staplefield on Bank Holiday Monday as part of the most well-organised Dynamo turnout so far this season. With a huge 11-man squad comprising CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS, MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON, and the Milland Hill ‘Mos, the pressure was on to come up with the goods – and Stu’s attempt at a chase less than 10 miles into the 60-miler turned into a two-man break with four others bridging across to the duo, including Justin. Baby-faced Streule once again played the role of blocker, this time aided by killer Kiwi Mason. Their efforts allowed the break to stay away and the race was won by Matthew Holmes of Artic-Shorter Rochford while Justin nabbed 3rd place. Nice one! Meanwhile, rising Dynamo star Simmonds admits he was feeling “a touch flat” after moving to 2nd cat the day before at the 1/2/3 SERRL race at Brenchley by taking 5th…

http://www.serrl.org.uk/SERRL%20Event%205%2006.htm

…but the super-strong fella still managed to clip off towards the end of Staplefield for a three-up with Gavin and Gordon. The finishing list is a testament to the group’s superb efforts, with seven of the top 15 places occupied by Dynamo…

http://www.londoncyclesport.com/reports_2006_sl/15_staplefeild.html

…and grateful Stu says: “I can’t thank the boys in blue, black and orange enough. They really controlled the race like champions and we really felt we rode the race as a team.” You’re an inspiration to us all, fellas!

ENGINE TROUBLE
+++ Powdrill hits deck at 3-Day +++
It wasn’t just the support events where Dynamo made its presence felt – compact mechanic SAM ‘THUMPER’ HUMPHESON finished a respectable 26th in the 58-strong general classification of the Surrey League 3-Day itself, mainly thanks to his 8th place in the opening race at Milland Hill…

http://www.londoncyclesport.com/reports_2006_sl/easter3_1.html

http://www.londoncyclesport.com/reports_2006_sl/easter3_r.html

…and eager IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE started the early winning break featuring stage winner Colin Roshier of Team Quest, only to get dropped two laps later on the course with the infamous short, sharp, shocking climb. Unlucky, pal! But it was GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL who suffered a greater misfortune during the next day’s stage at Dunsfold Aerodrome when he momentarily overlapped the wheel in front at the moment when the rider ahead decided to switch, causing the twin-piston powerhouse to hit the tarmac at 35mph. Ouch! The poor lad only had around 20 minutes of the race to go – and Ian reveals: “He has some pretty significant road rash and bruising but is basically OK.” Sam will no doubt be clamping Guy’s Omega to the jig in his Hampton Wick workshop fairly soon!

…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ Cycelfit’s WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE debuted the firm’s Eastway bike at the Lea Valley circuit on Monday, taking 6th at the Bill Temme Memorial E/1/2 race – http://www.londoncyclesport.com/reports_2006/bill_t.html – and then won Hillingdon on Tuesday – http://www.cyclefit.co.uk/glider_eastway.htm +++ Dynamo PAUL DELAINNTI came 8th in 3/4 race at Eastway – see link above +++ Links to the DYNAMITE! gallery in our last edition didn’t work due to the site crashing – the pics will be back up soon! +++

LIMP TO THE FINISH
We’re off to empty out our Dyna-mail trash, which is packed with sneaky opportunities to buy something called “vaigra” or “v-i-a-g-a-r”, which means there is just enough time to give a firm thank-you to everyone who sent in stuff for this issue. We’ll be back next week, so please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘CIALLIS’ BUIST to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we mourn the loss of more “cheap meds” offers, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a spambot.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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