DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #43, 25.02.05
LIST-EN UP
As a modern, cutting-edge woman with a wide range of boot-cut trousers, there’s nothing Mrs Dynamite likes more than busting a few Dyna-moves at London’s top nitespots – so she was intrigued to learn that there was only one club in town to be seen in on Saturday. That’s right, cool-strutting reader – the Parkride is now so popular that it has become strictly members-only. Brandishing a computer printout of fully paid-up Dynamates’ names, burly bouncer PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN was more than happy to turn away riders from the roundabout by Sheen Gate if they hadn’t stumped up for their subs – and that includes a certain straight-talking fella who many will know from the Sunday ride. So remember – if you’re not on the list, you’re not getting in! As ever, your favourite hip-shaking chronicle of the Dynamo beat was unaffected by the strict door policy and we even popped down to Hillingdon for a special extended after-hours set – or the first Beginners’ Series race as it is better known. So boogie on down with us as we give this week’s biggest choons a spin, as it were. Here comes the first platter that matters…
DYNAMO MINOR DOH
We’ve done it again! In a glorious repeat of last year, London Dynamo dominated the top six of the first Beginners’ Series race – but there was much Homer Simpson-style slapping of the forehead in the DYNAMITE! bunker when we perused the list of finishers from Saturday’s icy-cold event and spotted the first Dynamo-related results slip-up of season. Step forward Paul ‘Doh!’ Dohiuk – or DOMINIC ‘I WANT IT ALL’ PAUL as he is known to legions of Surrey Hills regulars. And the high-achieving triathlete isn’t happy! Dominic supposedly clinched 6th place behind Army CU rider Matt Hinkley – but he fumed: “That guy Matt was about two foot behind me! Who decided the places? That one point is valuable to me!” Don’t blame us – speak to Surrey League supremo Keith Butler, buddy! Dominic’s placing quarrel was the only blot on an otherwise enjoyable event which saw new Dynamo star DAVID STREULE miss out on the top spot by mere inches in a traditional 4th cat bunch sprint during the final 10-lap race. Congratulations to winner James Makepiece from TM Racing – David will get you next time, pal! Behind the scenes, PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN and his wife Clare set up an exemplary muffin and tea stall in the club hut which was manned by ‘INCREDIBLE’ IAN JENKINSON and a mysterious ‘Mo who did all the washing up before promptly disappearing. If you are that quiet, dutiful chap, then send a Dyna-mail to news@londondynamo.co.uk and you’ll get a well-deserved thank-you in the next issue. It’s the least we can do! Meanwhile, keen marketeer STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFRYS gave away samples of his delicious sports drink For Goodness Shakes to dozens of thirsty competitors – and a special mention must be given to on-the-mend ‘Mo DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS for popping down to help out before rushing back home to his wife, who was expected to give birth that same day. David didn’t reveal if they have chosen a name, but we think Hillingdon Butler Norris has quite a ring to it – for a boy OR a girl!
‘MO OR NO?
As we’ve already issued a plea to identify a mystery member of the Dynamo community, we’ve decided to introduce a one-off twist to ‘Mo Or No? this week. Regular readers will already know that this visually-aided feature usually presents a photograph of a carefully-disguised Parkrider who has flouted the Dynamo kit dress code followed by a simple question: is this person a fully-paid-up member or not? If they are, then there’s no excuse for wearing the dashing blue-and-black uniform of the south-east’s most stylish cycle squad – and if they haven’t paid their subs, then it’s about time they did. It’s as simple as that! This week, however, we are proud to present a pic of a Dynamate who is setting a superb sartorial example to all the kit-dodgers out there – step forward blonde barrister NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, who e-mail readers can see by going to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and clicking the Newsletter link. The track newcomer is one of our “differently shaped” riders, which meant that he was unable to get his impressive frame into the largest-size jersey. But did he use this unfortunate circumstance to construct a carefully-worded legal argument for opting out of kit-wearing duties? No way, your honour! Nick got himself down to Cyclefit’s WC2 HQ and picked up a roomy, warming gilet which really is a boon in the current arctic conditions. So now there’s no excuse for getting kitted out on a club run!
BEAT IT
Our ears are ringing, our feet are sore and the needle has run to the end of the record – which must mean that your fix of beats and bleeps is over for another week. It’s going to be a long wait for the night bus, but rest assured we’ll be having it large again in just seven days. Until then, please remember that we are a self-indulgent ambient house noodling and we would be nothing without you, our thriving UK garage scene. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BLOCK ROCKING’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on email. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, with a cry of “Bo selecta”, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an exclusive 12-inch megamix.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 19 – LONDON DYNAMO BEGINNERS’ SERIES, 4/3W/W4, FINAL, 10 MILES: 1 James Makepiece (TM Racing) 00.25.55; 2 DAVID STREULE (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 PIERS STANSFIELD (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 RICHARD MASON (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Matt Hinkley (Army CU); 6 DOMINIC PAUL (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Sean Keith (TM Racing); 7 Mark Hubbard (TM Racing); 7 James Stratton (Thames Turbo); 7 STUART JEFFREYS (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Russell Cross (TM Racing); 7 Nick Heiney (Oxford Uni CC); 7 Warren Evans (Thames Turbo); 7 Rachel Stanhope (Thames Turbo); 15 Barry Tooke (North Hampshire RC); 16 Alan Moore (TM Racing); 17 ALEX BASTIN (LONDON DYNAMO); 18 Chris Mison (North Hampshire RC); 19 Tim Jones (Sigma); 20 Graeme Robertson (Fit-For); 21 DARREN MINSHALL (LONDON DYNAMO).
SEMI FINAL A, 10 MILES: 1 James Makepiece (TM Racing) 00:25:10; 2 Barry Tooke (North Hampshire); 3 Mark Hubbard (TM Racing); 4 Warren Evans (Thames Turbo); 5 RICHARD MASON (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 DOMINIC PAUL (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Nick Heiney (Oxford Uni CC); 8 Graeme Robertson (Fit-For); 9 Chris Mison (North Hampshire RC); 10 Rachel Stanhope (Thames Turbo); 11 Sean Keith (TM Racing); 12 Alan Moore (TM Racing); 12 Brenson Hive (Thames Turbo); 12 Richard Bremner (North Hampshire RC); 12 Tony Tugwell (Kingston Phoenix); 12 Kate Balchin (Fit-For); 12 SARAH CARY (LONDON DYNAMO); 12 Kate Foster (Thames Turbo);
SEMI FINAL B, 10 MILES: 1 DAVID STREULE (LONDON DYNAMO) 00:25:30; 2 DARREN MINSHALL (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 James Stratton (Thames Turbo); 4 PIERS STANSFIELD (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 ALEX BASTIN (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Matt Hinkley (Army CU); 7 Russell Cross (TM Racing); 8 STUART JEFFREYS (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 Tim Jones (Sigma); 10 Jeremy Tapp (unatt); 11 Julian Barnard (unatt); 12 Rachel Joyce (unatt); 13 Michelle Galley (unatt); 14 Tim Sales (Redhill CC); 15 Debbie Knott (Beds RC); 15 Mark King (North Hampshire RC); 15 Gary Kirk (Epsom CC); 15 Anne Minford (Thames Turbo); 15 Johnie Sutcliffe (unatt); 15 Richard Chesser (unatt).
THE LAST WORD
“Erwin stared at those magnificent legs, naked nearly up to the groin and pedalling with passionate power. They must be terrific dancers, he thought.”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
Leave a Reply