DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #46, 18.03.05
PLANE DAFT
As one of Richmond Park’s most respected organisations, London Dynamo has a duty to behave well at all times – but this week the barmy blue and black army is about to go completely bonkers as the club quite literally takes off on its yearly jaunt. That’s right, sun-seeking reader – dozens of Dynamates will be checking in at Heathrow on Sunday morning as the good people of British Midland escort the high-spirited bunch to Mallorca, which is where the prestigious 2005 training camp is taking place. It’s gonna be a belter! And we can just see the scenes of merry abandon aboard flight BD163 as normally mild-mannered ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY gets the gang to sing along to a rousing chorus of Una Paloma Blanca. There’ll be words from the cabin crew, chaps! Your jet-setting DYNAMITE! will, of course, be flying out with the happy campers and we’ll let you know exactly how depraved the excursion was when we get back. But for now, it’s time to strap yourself in as yet another high-flying edition of your favourite weekly cycling-based e-mail update reaches for the skies. Here come the boiled sweets…
A WHITE RESULT
Like most people, the ever-vain DYNAMITE! team enjoys an occasional bit of flattery – so we were delighted when MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON told us his non-Dynamo pals who have been tuning into the Newsletter over the interweb think it’s “bloody brilliant”. Cheers, buddies! Martin and his chums were logging onto the website in between rides in Callosa dén Sarria on the Costa Blanca – where, quite appropriately given they were on the “white coast”, the intrepid climbers encountered a flurry of snow on a 1000m col. We just hope they were wearing their thermals! The unofficial Dynamo training camp saw three Dynamates dominate the annual 20km mountain time trial from Callosa to the Col de Rates, with 1st-placed TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT smashing MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT’s 2004 record by more than three-and-a-half minutes. Way to go, pal! Tom’s winning time of 39.27 was followed by Martin Williamson at 41.46 while new Dyna-member TOM LANGLEY came 3rd at 41.46 – but sadly, Martin Garratt didn’t have the opportunity to defend his record as he developed a knee injury during the trip. There’s always next year! On a more serious note, daredevil JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS had a near-death experience after losing his front wheel while overtaking a vehicle on a steep descent in the wet. Martin W reveals: “Joe hit an oncoming car which drove over his front wheel. He was fine and spent 400 quid on inferior components to see his bike through the week.” That’s got to be a contender for crash of the year! Tom Hemmant, who features in an exclusive pic on the Newsletter section of the Dynamo website, also had a couple of vehicle-based mishaps when he and LUCY ‘DEMURE’ DOVE missed their outgoing flight because they couldn’t find a place to park and then scraped a hire car before leaving the airport at the other end. Doh! But despite these mishaps – not to mention Tom H, Lucy and Martin M getting robbed of £1500 – none of the group managed to have a sense-of-humour failure. They’re an inspiration to us all!
BACK IN THE DRIVING SEAT
He’s been keeping a low profile since conquering Ironman Switzerland last July – but twin-piston powerhouse GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL is now putting his foot on the gas again after a dramatic performance at Alfold on Sunday. Dynamo’s big Guy had managed to build up a lead of around two-and-a-half minutes as part of a five-man group before disaster struck. The towering triathlete cramped up and had to pull over – but after a 30-second rub-down, he was back in the race. Guy managed to hold off the bunch to clinch 5th place – and he describes the race as a “day of pain”. It sounds like it, pal!
KEN WATCH!
He’s back at last! Well, kind of. This is, in fact, the first inkling we’ve had of Ken’s whereabouts this year – and it’s in the form of a text message. PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN got a text from Dynamo’s wily renegade to say he was “in New Zealand”, of all places, and that he would get in contact “soon”. Make sure you do, Ken!
NOT AT HIS PEAK
Finally, we were concerned to hear that ALEX ‘BALFIE’ BALFOUR’s mishap at the Three Peaks race last October has turned out to be more serious than he first thought. The hardy ‘crosser was peeing blood for three days after the race and he has since discovered that he has a large tumour on his left kidney which is almost certainly malignant. Balfie, who only had a CT scan following the race in North Yorkshire, says: “Had I not done the Three Peaks they might never have found the tumour until far too late. As it stands, I believe I have a fighting chance.” He went into hospital yesterday to have the growth removed. Here’s hoping that you make a full recovery, pal.
BACK TO EARTH
The ‘plane has touched down, so you may now undo your seatbelts and retrieve your hand luggage from the overhead compartments. It will be another year until Dynamo flies off for another training camp, but your favourite jumbo carrier of all things Dynamatic will be on the runway again in just seven days. Always remember that we are a dizzy trolley dolly, and we would be nothing without you, our lantern-jawed captain. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BLACK BOX’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we head for customs, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a boarding pass.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, MARCH 13 – SURREY LEAGUE, ALFOLD, 3/J, 60 MILES: 1 Richard Smith (Farnborough and Camberley) 2.00.00; 2 Robert Cranstone (VC Meudon) +1.10; 3 Mark Bremner (VC Meudon) +1.15; 4 Stuart Grimes (Team Axiom) +1.20; 5 GUY POWDRILL (LONDON DYNAMO) +2.20; 6 Thorsten Klassen (Kingston Wheelers) +4.40; 7 Andrew Daniels (Twickenham); 8 John Hyde (unatt); 9 Mark Paton (Sussex Nomads); 10 James Miller (Anglia Sport); 11 Andrew Harvey (Kingston Wheelers); 12 Marlon Moncrieffe (unatt); 13 Toni Bond (TM Racing); 14 Andrew Seltzer (East Grinstead); 15 Tony Gordon (Pearson Cycles); 16 Brad Lamb (Glendene); 17 Martin Butcher (VC Etoile); 18 Christopher Salt (Kingston Wheelers); 19 Chris White (TM Racing); 19 Nigel Smith (Twickenham); 19 Oly Aldridge (VC Meudon); 19 Dave Pook (Pearson Cycles); 23 Colin Summerfield (VC Meudon); 24 Richard Barrowclough (Sport and Publicity); 25 Rik Taub (In Gear Quickvit); 26 Gavin Buckley (VC Meudon); 27 John Leitch (Festival); 28 Russell Scott (VC Meudon); 29 Toks Adesanya (Addiscombe);
30 Thomas Smith (Twickenham); 31 Terry Morgan (VC Meudon); 32 Geoff Lulham (Evans Cycles).
THE LAST WORD
“Flying a plane is like riding a bicycle. It’s just a little harder to put baseball cards in the wheels.”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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