DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #54, 13.05.05
FIGHT NIGHT
As our growing army of loyal readers may have already guessed, day-to-day life in the Newsletter’s famous soundproof bunker is a pretty sedate affair, with Mrs Dynamite’s recent switch from PG Tips to Earl Grey providing the most dramatic moment since this organ began – or at least it did until Wednesday when we were forced to shield her eyes from the TV as felled Aussie Baden Cooke made a thoroughly unnecessary “Maxwell House” hand gesture at Paulo Bettini. We don’t care if the tiddly Italian forced you into the barriers at Frosinone during the close of the Giro d’Italia’s fourth stage – there are women and children watching, buddy! Like the usually easy-going Cookie, a member of the capital’s happiest cycle squad saw the red mist descend last week as he too raised a hand in anger – but thankfully level-headed Dyna-mediators were able to intervene before JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS gave a transit van driver a seeing-to for purposely braking sharply in front of the group on last Wednesday night’s ride. The big fella revealed on the forum: “I’m sure the Marquis of Queensbury would have been quite dissatisfied with the exchange.” Leave him, pal – he’s not worth it! As an antidote to the anger-fuelled testosterone surging though this edition, DYNAMITE! will be focussing on the fantastic achievements of two Dynamettes in two item’s time – but for now let’s pop on the loose-fitting satin shorts, lace up the gloves and get ready for the bell. Here comes the first round…
LADIES BOYS
It’s the dreaded hilly course that’s meant to separate the men from the boys – but unfortunately for hard-working CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, it was the boys who showed the men a thing or two at the Ladies Mile 3rd cat race on Sunday. The Solna Avenue sensation was disappointed to see powerful Glendene juniors Russell Hampton and Kristian Downs neglecting to do their fair share of work as he toiled away in an eight-man break – and after helping to build up a lead of around three minutes, he became more than a little annoyed when Hampton clinched 1st place by shooting off on the penultimate lap. Cheeky little beggar! With all three podium places nabbed by nippers, Chris had to fight it out for 6th and laid-back South African STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES, who was dropped from the lead group, managed to stay away from the pack to claim the No.9 spot. Well done, sir! It was left to DAVID ‘STRINGY’ STREULE to show the remaining riders a bit of Dyna-magic – and the long, lean lad rose commendably to the challenge by coming first in the difficult uphill bunch sprint, giving him 12th place in the tough 54 mile contest as TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES finished three places behind. Lovely stuff! But it wasn’t just deepest Surrey that was treated to a load of Dynamatic action – because there was a whole lot ‘Mo going on in Essex, Coniston and Hampshire at the same time. Chadders’ housemate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT proved Sunday certainly isn’t a day of rest for the church of Dynamo when he slogged away for almost three hours and 45 minutes to claim 4th place at the latest round of the Eastern Road Race League. Hallelujah! Dynamo’s quiet man got in a four-man break after just 10km and managed to stay away – but he reveals: “It was whittled down to me and the eventual winner. Then I got a flat coming into the last two miles. By the time I had a new wheel two others had also passed me.” Bad luck, pal! Meanwhile, plucky STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS proved that it’s not just 1st cats like Tom who can tackle a century by finishing 28th among a 352-strong field at the 110 mile Fred Whitton Challenge. The fitness recovery drink guru tackled all six Lake District passes to finish with an elite-category time of 6.52.48 – a feat that ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY describes as “awesome”. You’re not wrong! Stu’s near-namesake crossed the line more than half an hour later – and the Cougar rider reveals his pony-tailed team-mate “had problems with his gearing and not eating enough”. Those are the sort of troubles you don’t need with 3,550m of climbing! And as the two Jeffs tackled the crazy Etape-style ride, DARREN ‘PACKING ‘EM’ MINSHALL ventured to Southwick, Hants, where he took 8th at the Portsdown Spring 3rd cat competition. The Hardest Working Man In Dynamo said: “One day I’ll be conventional and just race in the Surrey League.” We look forward to seeing you, chum! The racing week was polished off by RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON coming off the rain-slicked course at Crystal Palace on Tuesday before GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL and Chris Chapman pulled out to avoid the same slippery fate – but determined GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN stuck it out to take 6th in the threes competition while Tom Hemmant got 3rd the E/1/2 race. That’s the spirit!
BOY! THOSE LADIES!
Eager as ever to turn the attention away from his own brilliant achievements, Dyna-modest Tom dropped us a line to let us know that LUCY ‘DEMURE’ DOVE was 3rd lady at the Farnham RC 10-mile time trial – and her fellow Dynamette MEL WILLIAMS came 7th at the latest round of the Women’s National Team Series on Sunday. You go, girl! Her 12th-placed Surrey League team-mate REBECCA ‘OBJECTION’ STUBBS rightly describes the result as “phenomenal”, pointing out: “It was only her second-ever race on the road.” But the great results don’t end there, because Mel was 4th in the women’s competition at the ECCA Festival at Eastway and she was 1st woman at Palace last week. It’s no wonder she made a front page appearance on London Cycle Sport!
…AAAAND 10 – YOU’RE OUT!
The flashbulbs are popping, the referee has raised our left arm, and our opponent is lying face-down on the canvas. How a-bout that! It will be another week until we deliver another knockout punch, but we will be seriously on the ropes without you, our feisty sparring partners. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BRUISER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we hold the gold-plated champion’s belt aloft to a roar of approval from the crowd, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an attitude.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, MAY 8 – EASTERN ROAD RACE LEAGUE, LEA VALLEY ROAD RACE, WOODHAM WALTER VILLAGE HALL, 1/2/3, 140KM: 1 Dan Staite (Cambridge) 3.39.36; 2 Digby Symons (Cambridge) +0.37; 3 Chris Parlett (Tonbridge/Ewhurst Contol) +1.15; 4 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) +3.13; 5 Vince Devine (Luton) +4.18; 6 John Bartram (Interbike); 7 Michael Gardner (Glendene/Biketrax); 8 Shaun Aldous (ERV); 9 Phil Holloway (Southend Wheelers); 10 Nick Hastler (Essex Roads); 11 Johny Torres (Team Sport and Publicity) +4.57; 12 Edgar Medellin (Team Sport and Publicity +5.30; 13 Ian Randle (Essex Roads); 14 Sean Kilory (Glendene); 15 Michael Gray (Glendene); 16 Nathan Miller (Angliasport); +5.37; 17 Ron Hewes (Harlow) +5.45; 18 Mark Waller (Southend) +8.30; 19 Marco Coppola (Gemini) +9.00; 20 Adrian Ramsbottom (Glendene) +10.24.
SUNDAY, MAY 8 – SURREY LEAGUE/EAST GRINSTEAD CC, LADIES MILE, 3/J/W, 54 MILES: 1 Russell Hampton (Glendene) 2:24:50; 2 Kristian Downs (Glendene) +1.22; 3 William Thompson (Pacific Racing) +1.27; 4 Robert Fallon (Fit-For); 5 Richard Friend (Gemini); 6 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Matthew Rugman (Kingsnorth International); 8 Ian O’Hara (Sydenham Wheelers); 9 STUART SPIES (LONDON DYNAMO) +4.13; 10 William Thomas (Viner Bikes Agisko) +4:35; 11 Nicholas Gilding (Willesden) +4:58; 12 DAVID STREULE (LONDON DYNAMO); 13 Philip Watkins (Addiscombe); 14 Thomas Smith (Twickenham); 15 TOM DAVIES (LONDON DYNAMO); 16 Philip Murrell (Finsbury Park); 17 Alister Tullet (Edwardes Cycles); 18 James Beaumont (Kingston Wheelers); 19 David Roberts (Crawley); 20 Andrew Wills (VC Deal); 21 George Higgs (Brighton Excelsior); 22 Max Warburton (unatt); 23 Christian Yates (In Gear); 24 Thomas Roberts (Brighton Excelsior); 25 Gary Williams (East Grinstead); 26 Brian Tidey (Addiscombe); 27 Paul Jones (Crawley); 28 Nigel Smith (Twickenham) 29 Tony Stubbens (unatt); 30 John Rugman (Kingsnorth International); 31 George Lagvillo (Twickenham); 32 Dylan Thompson (Twickenham) +6.40; 33 Marco Brein (Archer); 34 Brad Lamb (Glendene); 35 Gafyn MacMillan (Kingston Wheelers) +1 lap; 36 Andrew Harvey (Kingston Wheelers); 37 Tarik Djeddour (Kingston Wheelers); 38 Toks Adesanya (Addiscombe); 39 Jon Masters (Redhill); 40 Luke Evans (Sydenham Wheelers); 41 Neil Simpson (London Phoenix); 42 Thorsten Klassen (Kingston Wheelers); 43 Chris Wright (Freerider); 44 Paul Gosling (Brighton Excelsior); 45 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 46 Ian Beston (Kingston Wheelers).
SUNDAY, MAY 8 – PORTSDOWN SPRING RR, SOUTHWICK, HANTS, 3/4/W/J, 58KM: 1 Mark Wareham (VC St Raphael); Philip Gough (Portswood Cycles); 3 Mark Haylett (Team Specialised); 4 Meurig James (Willsden); 5 Chris Brooking (Api Metro); 6 Andy Cooke (VC St Raphael); 7 Steve Walkling (In Gear); 8 DARREN MINSHALL (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 Andy Rivet (Sotonia); 10 Graham Wyatt (GS Europe).
SUNDAY, MAY 8 – FRED WHITTON CHALLENGE, CONISTON, 110 MILES: 1 Lewis Craven (Wheelbase-Ronhill) 6.05.36; 2 Stuart Reid (Wheelbase-Ronhill) 6.09.19; 3 Andy Wrigley (Honister 92) 6.11.08; 4 Robert Glaister (Honister 92) 6.11.11; 5 Chris Young (Team Marie Curie) 6.13.43; 6 Paul Trott (Wheelbase-Ronhill) 6.15.42; 7 David Buckden (Kendal) 6.23.04; 8 Barrie Clarke (Giant Cycles) 6.23.08; 9 Karl (Kent Valley) 6.29.53; 10 Tim Malloch (Tooting) 6.31.20; 11 Steven Labram (Penrith) 6.31.21; 12 Andy Sudell (Lakes) 6.32.21; 13 Dave Nicholl (Lakes) 6.32.42; 14 Ian Palmer (Wheelbase) 6.33.14; 15 Paul Armstrong (Honister 92) 6.33.19; 16 Phillip Kelman (Deeside Thistle) 6.33.22; 17 Steve Young (Lindale) 6.34.24; 18 Tim Proctor (Rugvy Velo) 6.36.01; 19 Alan Goldsmith (Hillbillies) 6.36.52; 20 Joe Richards (Lakes) 6.39.57; 21 Danny Love (Cheshire) 6.41.15; 22 Graham Huddleston (Ormskirk) 6.42.52; 23 Jim Peters (IMP001 London) 6.45.42; 24 Ishmael Burdeau (Brighton Mitre) 6.46.16; 25 Fraser Malcolm (Southampton) 6.51.36; 26 Dieter Booth (Breeze Bikes) 6.52.05; 27 Julian Cook (6.52.10); 28 STUART JEFFREYS (LONDON DYNAMO) 6.52.48; 29 Nigel Hooker (Kent Valley) 6.55.18; 30 Martin Toward (Southampton Uni) 6.59.08. 61 ROBERT JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO) 7.24.06; 350 Kevan Hearn (Chester) 12.13.46.
SUNDAY, MAY 8 – WOMEN’S NATIONAL TEAM SERIES ROUND 3B, ELLENS GREEN, 48 MILES: 1 Helen Gutteridge (Team Luciano-Trek) 2.07.02; 2 Jenny Derham (Twickenham) 2.07.02; 3 Kersten Brooks (Impsport) 2.09.02; 4 Lisa Hollingshead (Fenland) 2.09.02; 5 Tracey Fletcher (Fat Birds Don’t Fly) 2.09.02; 6 Lindsey Clarke (Fenland) 2.09.03; 7 MEL WILLIAMS (SURREY LEAGUE A) 2.09.03; 8 Sam Van Gerbig (BC Central) 2.09.03; 9 Heather Summer (Team Luciano-Trek) 2.09.03; 10 Di Moss (Team Luciano-Trek) 2.09.03; 11 Claire Hall (CC Giro) 2.09.03; 12 REBECCA STUBBS (SURREY LEAGUE A) 2.09.03 68; 13 Antonia Burt (Twickenham) 2.09.03; 14 Jean Limpitlaw (BC Central) 2.09.04; 15 Hannah Bussey (Surrey League A) 2.09.04; 16 Kim Young (CC Giro) 2.09.04; 17 Mandy McDonnell (Twickenham) 2.09.04; 18 Sara Burling (CC Giro) 2.09.04; 19 Claire Gross (Fat Birds Don’t Fly) 2.09.06; 20 Nicky Hudson (Twickenham) 2.10.28; 41 Marcia Rienhardt (Oxford University) +1 lap.
TUESDAY, MAY 10 – CRYSTAL PALACE LEAGUE #3, CRYSTAL PALACE PARK, E/1/2, 30KM: 1 Brett Perez (Agiskoviner); 2 Jamie Newell (Evans); 3 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth International); 5 Rob Enslin (Viner/Agisko); 6 Derek Finnegan (Navan); 7 John Sadler (Addiscombe); 8 Matt Seaton (VC Londres).
TUESDAY, MAY 10 – CRYSTAL PALACE LEAGUE #3, CRYSTAL PALACE PARK, 3/4/W/J, 27KM: 1 Will Thomas (Viner/Agisko); 2 Shannon Durrant (Pearson Cycles); 3 Mick Bell (London Fire Brigade); 4 Unknown; 5 William Thompson (Pacific); 6 GAVIN RYAN (LONDON DYNAMO).
THE LAST WORD
“I was just about to throw my hands in the air. Instead I did five somersaults down the road!”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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