DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #66, 05.08.05
ASTRONOMICAL!
Many would agree that Discovery’s recent achievement was out of this world – and the team that propelled Lance Armstrong to his seventh Tour de France victory didn’t do too badly either. That’s right, cosmic-crazy reader – like you, everyone in the famous DYNAMITE! soundproof bunker was amazed this week when astronauts Stephen Robinson and Soichi Noguchi managed to repair the Nasa shuttle’s heat shield during a six-hour spacewalk. It makes mending a puncture on a freezing cold Sunday in the middle of Shere look like a walk in Richmond Park! In the week when TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT broke through the 1st cat stratosphere to Elite status thanks to his recent win at Palace, intrepid STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES dropped us a note about his out-of-this-world journey which we will be revealing shortly – but first let us float serenely out to the underbelly of the spacecraft and examine what RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT has been up to. Here comes the robotic arm…
SHORT FILM
It’s been many months since DYNAMITE! speculated about the possibility of a film celebrating the capital’s least camera-shy cycle squad – and it’s a pleasure to announce the Dyna-movie has now been made. The IT support staff at Dynamo Towers have been working overtime to cram the flick into our Vic 20 so we can transmit it with this issue, so let’s hope the gremlins haven’t got to the attachment at your end. It would be a reel shame to miss it! The mini-movie was shot entirely on location by RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT – and the movie Dyna-mogul says: “I put it together as a way of saying ‘Thanks’ to each member for making this such a great club.” What a gent!
GOODWOOD YOU BELIEVE IT!
And as Rusty toiled away in his editing suite on Sunday, the little fella’s racing buddy PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN was having a tough old time at Goodwood. The Dynamo race secretary survived a downpour during the 80km 3rd cat contest only to be brought down on the chicane in the penultimate lap when someone else’s pedal and crank tore through the spokes on one of his brand new carbon wheels. We won’t even mention what happened to his Merlin’s forks! Miffed Paul sat in the first aid area with road rash, bruising and many an aching muscle as his lead-out man SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON took 6th place – but he was back with a vengeance at the Hounslow Wheelers 10-mile time trial last night, clinching 1st place with a time of 23mins 56secs. Fantastic stuff! The Kingston killer beat his personal best by 45 seconds and was a full minute faster than GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, who raced the hilly Chertsey course in May. Call the cops – A and E is handing out EPO!
KEN WATCH!
Talking of the human powerhouse, Guy was on his way to Richmond Park last Thursday night when he spotted Dyna-mystery man KEN BUIST riding along Priory Lane in the opposite direction. For a man who is supposed to have announced an Armstrong-esque retirement, he certainly doesn’t seem to have cut down on the miles! Guy would have stopped the slippery Kiwi to quiz him on his departure from the racing scene – but news of Ken quitting had yet to arrive on the property broker’s swanky Blackberry, courtesy of his favourite Friday morning read. He’ll know better next time!
LONG CRAWL BACK
Meanwhile, Buistean doppelganger GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY has dropped us a note after we reported last week that he had finished 6th in the Crawley two-day. Gordon blamed “too much work” for his brief Buist-like disappearance from the Dynamo scene and he admits Crawley was a “hard return to racing” with the bunch split apart on some tough climbs during the sweltering first stage and heavy rain on the second day. But he added: “Luckily, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFRIES came with ample supplies of his delicious For Goodness Shakes which made the weekend all worthwhile, as did my winnings of a £25 Evans voucher.” Don’t spend it all at once, buddy!
KNOBBLY NEEDS
Journeyman STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES has also been missing of late – and DYNAMITE! can reveal his absence was down to a need to get some knobbly-tired action overseas. The jolly South African went back to his mountain bike roots for the Transalp Challenge which saw him cover 730km – that’s right, stunned reader, 730 big ones – over eight stages. Stuart’s two-man team finished 56th overall in the men’s category with a time of 41hrs 58mins – and he reveals: “It’s a completely mad race but the unbelievable scenery makes some of the pain disappear.” With a total altitude of 22,293 metres, that’s going to be a lot of pain!
PALS OF PALACE
Finally, DYNAMITE! would like to pass on a sincere message of thanks from the Dyna-management to all the Dynamates who helped our friends at Crystal Palace in their hour of need. Due to unforeseen circumstances, the club’s marshalling stint was moved forward a week at short notice, so it’s a credit to CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES, MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN and STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES for doing their bit on Tuesday. Cheers, fellas!
SHUTTLE DO FOR NOW
We’ve strapped ourselves in and turned on the thrusters as we prepare to re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere. Many thanks for all your contributions – and please remember that we are a little-remembered Alan Bean and we would be nothing without you, our iconic Neil Armstrong. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘ZERO GRAVITY’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we splash into the Indian Ocean, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a pair of moon boots.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Five laps of the park at race pace.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, JULY 16, SURREY LEAGUE, MoD CHERTSEY, 3/W/J, 40 MILES: 1 Daz Marcus (Pearson Cycles); 2 Thomas Smith (Twickenham); 3 David Ravenhill (agiskoviner.com); 4 Matthew Plested (agiskoviner.com); 5 Andy Jones (i-team.co.uk); 6 Martin Baker (i-team.co.uk); 7 Lawrence Winterbottom (Hounslow and District Wheelers); 8 Mike Brampton (TM Racing); 9 Jon Geaves (Beyond MTB); 10= John Leitch (Festival); 10= Brad Lamb (Victoria); 10= DAVID NORRIS (LONDON DYNAMO); 10= GORDON KENNEWAY (LONDON DYNAMO); 10= Simon Warren (Norwood Paragon); 10= Alex Ioannides (Sigma Sport); 10= Mark Bobinson (Johns Bikes); 10= Russ Turner (South Western); 10= Scott Amery (Gemini); 10= Garry Timlick (GS Helix-Maestro); 10= Keith Bugden (Pearson Cycles); 10= Andrew Seltzer (East Grinstead); 10= Brian Smith (North Hampshire); 10= Nick Davies (Reading); 10= Rosie Remendes (I-bike); 10= Eduardo Remendes (I-bike); 10= Paul McDonough (Kingston Wheelers); 10= Christopher Salt (Kingston Wheelers); 10= Gerrit Oplaat (East Grinstead); 10= Craig Beech (Interbike); 10= Norman Mellors (Hantspool); 10= Joanna Roswell (Sutton); 10= Jon Poynter (Ride Beyond); 10= Richard Munday (Addiscombe); 10= Reza Gorjestant (unatt); 10= Brian Tidey (Addiscombe); 10= Simon Duke (Arctic); 10= Alan Sherman (unatt); 10= Clive Davies (Beyond MTB); 10= James Graham (Festival); 10= Paul Gosling (Brighton Excelsior); 10= Nick Haskins (unatt); 10= Kevin Butchart (Twickenham); 10= Toni Bond (TM Racing); 10= Jason Ormston (Team Quest); 10= Erol Mustafa (VC De Londres); 10= Nigel Dickinson (Farnborough and Camberley); 10= Jonathan Cross (Maidenhead); 10= Andrew McKie (South Western); 10= Richard Abela (Beyond MTB); 10= Tony Gordon (Pearson Cycles); 10= Darren Clarke (Army CU); 10= Dean Wilson (Kingsnorth International); 10= Jonathan Gormley (Encyvale); 54 Claire Paginton (Evans Cycles).
SATURDAY, JULY 16, SURREY LEAGUE, MoD CHERTSEY, E/1/2, 50 MILES: 1 Justin Hoy (Evans Cycles); 2 Joe Bayfield (awcycles.co.uk); 3 Bryan Taylor (VC De Londres); 4 Stephen Atfield (Bournemouth Jubilee); 5 Russell Painter (Norwood Paragon); 6 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Thorsten Klassen (Kingston Wheelers); 8 Henry Furness (Ride Beyond); 9= Meurig James (Willesden); 9= Christopher Parlett (Tunbridge Wells); 9= Philip Watkins (Addiscombe); 9= Andrew Gough (Portswood Cycles); 9= Philip Gough (Portswood Cycles); 9= Stephen Cave (34th Nomads); 9= Simon Brooks (VC St Raphael); 9= Toby Neave (Liphook Cycles); 9= Keith Jarrett (i-team.co.uk); 9= Rudie Marais (Glendene); 9= Rob Fuller (Brighton Mitre); 9= John Saddler (Addiscombe); 9= Mark Scoular (unatt); 9= Stephen Ferris (VC Meudon); 9= Alan Flight (GS Invicta); 9= Ben Pochee (Penzance Wheelers); 9= Tim Beddingfield (awcycles.co.uk); 9= Robin Basford (Ride Beyond); 9= Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth International); 9= Paul Williams (Bath); 9= Graham Wood (Crawley); 9= Chris Moores (unatt); 9= TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 9= Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon); 9= Alex Peterson (awcycles.co.uk); 9= Stuart Grimes (Velocity the Exercise Deck); 9= Tom Smith (Viner Bikes Agisko); 9= David Larcombe (VC Meudon); 9= David Creeggan (VC Meudon); 9= Richard Pearman (Velocity the Exercise Deck); 9= John Tuckett (Oxford University); 9= Neil Hoban (VC Meudon); 9= Daniel James (VC St Raphael); 9= Colin Peerman (unatt); 9= Chris Denman (Beyond MTB); 9= GAVIN RYAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 9= Vince Halpern (awcycles.co.uk); 9= Stephen Hammer (agiskoviner.com); 9= Colin Roshier (Team Quest); 9= Steven Woodbridge (TM Racing); 9= IAN PAINE (LONDON DYNAMO); 9= Paul Pickup (Liphook Cycles); 9= Michael Knight (VC Meudon); 9= Michael Inder (Thames Velo); 9= Lewis Atkins (Glendene); 9= Desmond Gayler (Kenton); 55 Dan McEwan (Kenton); 56 Lee Day (Liphook Cycles); 57 M Harris (agiskoviner.com).
WEDNESDAY, JULY 27- SURREY LEAGUE, DUNSFOLD, E/1/2, 85 MILES: 1 James Holland-Leader (agiskoviner.com) 4.00.00; 2 Rob Hurd (Bioagrilo); 3 Jules Birks (Cycleurope); 4 Benoit Lagorle (Cycleurope); 5 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells); 6 Martin Smith (Team Milton Keynes) +0.10; 7 Christopher Parlett (Tunbridge Wells) +0.18; 8 Ashley Holding (Tunbridge Wells) +1.21; 9 Russell Page (SP Systems/Wightlink); 10 Jamie Higgins (Tunbridge Wells); 11 GUY POWDRILL (LONDON DYNAMO); 12 Stephen Skuse (Kingsnorth International); 13 Nigel Ling (Gemini); 14 Jason Edwards (Tunbridge Wells); 15 Nigel Copeman (Chippenham Wheelers); 16 Simon Saunders (SP Systems/Wightlink) +4.15; 17 Keith Jarrett (i-team.co.uk); 18 Stephen Dring (Stilton); 19 John Glaysher (agiskoviner.com); 20 Mickael Metayer (Fit-For); 21 Matthew Rugman (Kingsnorth International); 22 Gary Moore (Tunbridge Wells); 23 Paul Dring (Stilton RT); 24 Tom Kirk (Team Synergy); 25 Alan Clarke (South Western); 26 Michael Inder (Thames Velo); 27 Tony Kelly (Addiscombe); 28 Niall Digby (Sigma Sport); 29 Bill Butterworth (Twickenham); 30 Gary Kristensen (agiskoviner.com); 31 Sean Brennan (Team Synergy).
SUNDAY, JULY 31 – SERRL, WOODCHURCH, 1/2/3, 80KM: 1 Ashley Holding (Tonbridge/Ewhurst); 2 Edward Whitehorn (Glendene/Biketrax); 3 Chas Hollosi (Gemini); 4 Chris Parlett (Tonbridge/Ewhurst); 5 Mark Williams (Python); 6 Nigel Ling (Gemini); 7 Mark Powell (VC Deal); 8 Jamie Higgins (Tonbridge/Ewhurst) +0.20; 9 Mark Daly (Team Darenth); 10 Julian Clark (VC Deal); 11 John Sharples (unatt); 12 Seth Kay (Poshbikes.com); 13 Owen Challice (Dulwich Paragon); 14 IAN PAINE (LONDON DYNAMO).
TUESDAY, AUGUST 2 – BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, E/1/2/3, 60KM: 1Tony Gibb (Plowman Craven Associates); 2 C. Roshier (Team Quest); 3 L. Day (Liphook Cycles); 4 R. Painter (Norwood Paragon); 5 M. Wilmot (Team Quest); 6 S. Alexander (Python); 7 R. Stimpson (unatt); 8 J. Ormston (Team Quest); 9 D. Gabellini (Angliasport/Condor); 10 S. HANNEBERRY (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 R. Molinari (Economic Energy); 12 Unidentified; 13 N. Mann (Bath); 14 Unidentified; 15 Unidentified; 16 Unidentified; 17 S. Bild (Sport and Publicity); 18 David Gayler (Kenton); 19 Unidentified; 20 M. Osborn (Team Quest); 21 S. Hime (Sport and Publicity); 22 G Pettit (Hillingdon); 23 M. Northover (Giro); 24 E. Perry (SP Systems); 25 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 26 J. Uphill (Pearson Cycles); 27 R. Freeman (Twickenham); 28 B. Heaslip (Kenton); 29 L. Bone (unatt); 30 T. Morgan (unatt); 31 T. Costick (Hounslow and District Wheelers).
TUESDAY, AUGUST 2 – BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J, 45KM: 1 Michael Wilmot (Slipstreamers); 2 R. Bailey (RAF); 3 CHRIS SHAW (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 D. O’Brien (Tm Quest); 5 S. Bale (Reading); 6 B. Skinner (Hounslow and District Wheelers); 7 Unidentified; 8 HUGO CANO (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 Unidentified; 10 John Nichols (Thames Velo); 11 M. Walter (London Phoenix); 12 C. Fyfe (i-team.co.uk); 13 Unidentified; 14 P. Cornwall (unatt); 15 M. Stallion (Twickenham); 16 J. Hardy (unatt); 17 K. Sparks (unatt); 18 Nicki Hunt (Economic Energy); 19 P. Deering (unatt).
THE LAST WORD
“I’m grasping it and I’m pulling it and it’s coming out very easily. Beautiful. Nice.”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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