DYNAMITE! #71, 09.09.05

November 21, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #71, 09.09.05

DOUBLE THE FUN
Performing brilliantly at the tail end of the season when other teams are beginning to flag is twice as nice – and with the capital’s most tireless club entering more than two times its usual number of events this weekend, the pressure was really on to deliver Dyna-more great placings. But you lot made DYNAMITE! doubly delighted when we saw the great results spewing out of our famous ticker tape machine on Monday morning. Now that’s what we call an awesome sight! Strong showings at Eastway, Rusper, Harrogate and even a knobbly-tyred outing in Bracknell proved once again that Dynamo has some impressive individuals in its midst – but bizarrely, it also had a mysterious doppelganger lurking beneath the shadow of Parliament. We also have some exciting news about that long-awaited kit order – but come with us now as we begin by reflecting on what went on at the prestigious Westminster crit. Here comes a startling mirror image…

KEEP ‘EM IN CHICK
It had to happen sometime, Dynamates! After many years of dangling beneath his helmet and providing his trailing rivals with a carrot they struggled to reach, WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE’s ponytail has finally dropped to the barber shop floor. Let’s hope long-haired hero ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY doesn’t follow hirsute! Thankfully, the Cyclefit sensation hasn’t suffered any Samson-like sapping of his strength, which he proved by taking 2nd at the ESL 30th anniversary race at Eastway on Saturday before finishing 4th among the 200-strong field in the Bob Chicken London Grand Prix the very next day. While chewing the fat with the crafty Kiwi at his WC2 HQ, DYNAMITE! learned that he kept his opponents in check at the incredibly fast race by getting a mysterious ‘Mo to attack after the bike fitter fell back from the head of the field to around 30th place. Without his distinctive mane to mark him out, the confused race leaders thought the daring doppelganger was actually the bespectacled boy wonder himself and duly got on the unknown Dynamo’s wheel, giving short-haired Warrick the opportunity to return to the front. They shorn won’t make that mistake again! Sadly, the Covent Garden go-getter didn’t find out the name of that Dyna-mystery man – but we can safely rule out fellow Westminster critters NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES as none of them ride a black and red Specialized. Drop us a line at news@londondynamo.co.uk if you know who this guy is or if you are the sneaky fella himself. We’re itching to find out!

GINGER WINNER
Talking of Kiwis, DYNAMITE! was delighted to hear that Warrick’s countryman RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON achieved his goal of the season in a 189km 3/4 stage race at the weekend. The ginger New Zealander – and we are pleased to point out he isn’t from Australia as this periodical previously suggested – won his sought-after 2nd cat licence thanks to an impressive performance at the Yorks Otley CC/Airedale Olympic Two Day event, which consisted of a 9km time trial starting on a one-in-five climb and two 80km road stages. Testing stuff! Richard, who was 9th in the opening stage, 4th on the final one and 10th overall, says of the Harrogate terrain: “Hilly doesn’t even come close to describing it.” We bet it doesn’t, buddy! Meanwhile, over in Rusper, comeback kid DAVID ‘STRINGY’ STREULE didn’t let his two months out of racing stop him taking the No.3 spot in a bunch sprint at the Surrey League 3rd cat race. You’re putting us all to shame, pal!

BRACK WITH A VENGEANCE
He’s had his fair share of success on slicks – but CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN made a superb return to his off-road roots on Sunday for the 5th race in the Southern XC MTB series which took place in Bracknell. The King of the Spinners, who came 10th in the sport category after negotiating lots of jumps and twisty singletrack, admits: “It was hard. I fell off three times – nothing major but after the third time I had to laugh at my lack of skill.” Undeterred, Chris has vowed to do a hillier race on knobbly tyres in a few weeks. That’s the spirit! In other non-road news, jet-setter DOMINIC ‘I WANT IT ALL’ PAUL took time out from his globetrotting schedule to let us know he came 6th overall at the Geneva International Triathlon before stuffing his face with fondues – and he reveals that LUCY ‘DEMURE’ DOVE has been living up to her Dyna-moniker by declining to mention she was 11th woman in the European Triathlon in Lausanne a couple of weeks ago. You kept that one quiet, luv!

NEW KIT IN TOWN SOON
Finally, DYNAMITE! is delighted to announce that the Dynamo boardroom has been a flurry of activity over the past seven days as the club’s high-powered executives complete arrangements for a consignment of brand spanking new kit. That’s right, fashion-loving reader – following months of frustration, Dynamo’s leaders have decided to ditch their current supplier and go with another firm to bring you the most sought-after outfits this side of Roehampton Gate. In a major break with tradition, each member will have to pre-order and pay via the Dynamo website to make sure they get their gear. A letter with more details will be heading your way soon. Bet you can’t wait!

COPY OUT
Hopefully, we’ve managed to duplicate some of the excitement of the past seven days in this missive – and it’s all thanks to your contributions. Always remember we are a shoddy facsimile and we would be nothing without you, our perfect likeness. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘DEAD RINGER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we prepare a carbon copy of this week’s jokes for our next edition, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a lookalike.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Five laps of the park at race pace.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 – WEST THAMES/POLYTECHNIC CC CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON CYCLE CIRCUIT E/1/2/3, 60KM: 1 Nigel Williams (Python RT) 1:31:28; 2 V Halpern (AW Cycles) +2secs; 3 G Bowditch (Ritchey Cycleops) +4secs; 4 H Furniss (Ride Beyond); 5 R Painter (Norwood Paragon); 6 D Davies (AgiskoViner) +50secs; 7 P ATKINSON (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 J Ormston (Team Quest); 9 R Rowles (Mission Racing); 10 M Holt (Cambridge University) +54secs.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 – WEST THAMES/POLYTECHNIC CC CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON CYCLE CIRCUIT, 4/W/J: 1 Phil O’Leary (Icknield); 2 CHRIS SHAW (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 I Lowe (Thames Velo); 4 A Broadbent (Thames Velo); 5 J Norris (High Wycombe); 6 D Kennedy (Hounslow and District Wheelers); 7 S Potts (TM Racing); 8 unidentified; 9 unidentified; 10 B PLOWMAN (LONDON DYNAMO).

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 – ESL EASTWAYS 30TH ANNIVERSARY, EASTWAY CYCLE CIRCUIT, E/1/2, 51KM: 1 Gary Baker (Angliasport) 1:10:21; 2 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Paul Pickup (Liphook Cycles); 4 Matt Talbot (Glendene/Biketrax); 5 Andy Lyons (Stilton) 6 Ben Price (Stilton) 1:10:24; 7 Dean (Shannon Southend Wheelers); 8 Tony Gibb (PCA); 9 Brett Perez (agiskoviner.com); 10 Daniel Rudd (Team Edwardes).

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 – BOB CHICKEN LONDON GRAND PRIX, WESTMINSTER, E/1/2/3, 50KM: 1 Ian Holt (Viner Bikes Agisko); 2 James Taylor (sportscoaching.com); 3 Tony Gibb (PCA); 4 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Bryan Taylor (VC Londres); 6 George Richardson (Ritchey Cycleops); 7 Grant Bayton (Angliasport); 8 Simon Cope (Pacific); 9 Jonathan Dayus (Arctic Shorter Rochford); 10 Matt Holmes (Arctic Shorter Rochford); 11 Simon Bild (Sport and Publicity); 12 Nic Tilling (Angliasport); 13 Daniel Davies (Agiskoviner.com); 14 Brett Perez (agiskoviner.com); 15 Domonic Gabbelini (Angliasport); 16 Adam Blythe (Pinnarello); 17 Ben Luckwell (Team Maestro); 18 Matt Blythe (Newport); 19 James Millard (Bouwelsa Wielervriended); 20 Jaco Ehlers (De Rosa).

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 – SURREY LEAGUE, RUSPER, 3/J/W, 56 MILES: 1 Chris Wallis (TM Racing) 2 David Roberts (Crawley); 3 DAVID STREULE (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 Nick Young (Southborough and District); 5 Jo Corbett (TM Racing); 6 Tom Copeland (VC Eastbourne); 7 Marek Siwicki (Addiscombe); 8 Andrew Seltzer (East Grinstead); 9 Andy Taylor (Crawley Wheelers); 10 Keith Boniface (34th Nomads); 11 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 12 Jon Masters (Redhill) 13 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 14 Nick Haskins (unatt); 15 Douglas Fox (Crawley Wheelers); 16 James McManus (Gemini); 17 Paul Gosling (Brighton Excelsior); 18 Jonathan Donald (Brixton); 19 David Watkinson (Red Kite); 20 Richard Barrowclough (Team Sport and Publicity); 21 Lindsey Ruocco (VC Meudon); 22 DAVID NORRIS (LONDON DYNAMO); 23 Duncan Murdoch (Redhill); 24 John Leitch (Festival); 25 James Hopkins (Redhill).

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 – SOUTHERN XC MTB SERIES, RACE 5, SPORT MEN: 1 Mark Russell (Team Torq Bar/Wheelies); 2 Carl Harris (Halfords/Bikehut); 3 Gerald Tudor (Robin Cycles/West Drayton); 4 Mike Moleschi (Hardcore Racing); 5 Tim Smith (Beyond Mountain Bikes/West Drayton); 6 Jay McStay (Twickenham); 7 Daniel Eastment (Ham Hill Billies); 8 Mattias Kunz; 9 Matthew Wex (Army CU); 10 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO).

THE LAST WORD
“Dressed somewhere between hillbillies and aerobics instructors, high on fresh air and the out-of-doors, we laugh, eat, get wet, fix tires, sleep on hard ground, and hurt together, all just alike.”

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