DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #72, 16.09.05
IT’S URN-LY A GAME
As the devoted partner of a peddle-pusher, there’s nothing Mrs Dynamite likes more than to snuggle up on the sofa with DYNAMITE! and watch hours upon hours of gripping live coverage from a grand tour. It’s what Saturday afternoons were made for! This week, however, we were banished to the corner of our famous soundproof bunker while the first lady of the newsletter proved she’s a proper South African by going goggle-eyed over googlies and thundering balls. That’s right, Ashes-mad reader – much to this organ’s dismay, a certain sporting event contested by gentlemen in impractically white outfits for the dubious glory of winning a laughably small urn has invaded our proudly independent cycling republic. Frankly, the only runs we know about are the kind you get from a poorly-disinfected bidon – but we like to think that fast-spinning a few cricket-related puns shows your favourite Dyna-matic update has moved from the boundary of disinterest to the crease of acceptance. And you can’t say fairer than bat! We’ll be Ponting out what went on at Chertsey’s Surrey League showdown in just a Dyna-moment – but there’s no time to Langer round as we bring you an exhaustive update of what’s happening with Dynamo’s regular rides and news of our new kit order. So come with us and prepare to be Warne out…
RICH DITCHED
Those who spend a fair proportion of their working day lurking around the forum area of the Dynamo website will have been delighted to learn that a new ride is making its debut this weekend – but as one outing emerges, another has had to be ditched for a week. It is with a heavy heart, Dynamates, that we are forced to announce there will be no Parkride tomorrow as Richmond Park is closed for the London Duathlon. The cheeky sods didn’t even ask our permission! To cheer yourself up, scroll down to “This Week’s Rides” to find out how every Dyna-masochist plans to keep race fit this winter. Sunday mornings will never be the same again!
IT KITS THE BILL
You can put an even bigger smile on your face by taking a gander at the top-quality sporting vestment that will soon be emblazoned with the famous blue, black and orange livery of the capital’s snazziest cycle squad. There has been a flurry of exciting Dyna-meetings during the past few days to work out the finer details of the new Dynamo kit and its web-based ordering system – so to tide yourself over until the Dyna-management make an official announcement, see http://www.cyclingnews.com/tech.php?id=tech/2005/reviews/sportful_tour_bib to find out more about the garment that will soon be lovingly encasing your intimate areas. It doesn’t get any comfier than that! Before the new kit arrives, there will also be a limited number of warming Dynamo gilets available at a special price just as winter sets in. So don’t say Dynamo doesn’t look after you!
SMILES AHEAD
Talking of grins, which we were some time ago, comeback lad DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS had a mile-wide beam on Saturday after taking 6th place at the Surrey League handicap in Chertsey. Many readers will recall how the Teddington titan’s winter training went off course following a spill on Ranmore, so he’s “dead chuffed” to have his race fitness back. David adds: “I was working towards a September peak following my late start to the season and it’s rewarding to have achieved the goals I set myself while lying in hozzy.” Good work, fella! The happy chap, along with ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY and the rest of the 3rds, caught the 4th cat group then managed to stay away from the 1sts and 2nds for the remaining 17 laps of the MoD circuit. Amazingly, the Dynamo sprint train that helped propel David over the line ahead of the elites was manned by plucky 4th cats SAM WOODHOUSE, WILL HAYTER and CHARLES ‘POTS’ PEACH. Even more impressively, Rob finished 3rd – and membership co-ordinator RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT emerged from his growing pile of Dynamo application forms to make sure we pass on his congratulations to the ponytailed sensation. Consider it done, pal!
TIC AND TIRED
After a performance like that, it would have been greedy to dazzle the peloton with another Dyna-mighty show of force in the main race, so GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS, STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL and Rusty wisely settled for a mid-table ranking in the 40-mile team championships after fifth member PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN pulled out due to illness. Guy P got into the breakaway, leaving the other three to suffer in the bunch – and exhausted Stuart reveals: “There were some painful breaks and a few choice words with the lazy so-and-sos who did nothing to help out.” They never listen, buddy! Powdrill, Andrews and Rusty came 6th, 11th and 13th respectively which earned Dynamo 30 points – the total of its three highest placings – taking the chaps to 3rd in the team rankings. Who says maths isn’t fun? Browbeaten by Chairman ‘Mo during the 40-mile ordeal, poor old Stuart now displays a nervous tic whenever he comes across the name of the lads in light blue who won. He better not look at our Dyna-matic results section below! And spare a thought for Cyclefit sensation WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE, who did his best impersonation of a starfish as he lay sprawled on Newport’s rain-swept cobbles on Saturday night thanks to a slip-up at the Nocturne. The least we can do is put him out of his misery by revealing the name of the Dyna-mystery man who helped him out at last week’s Westminster crit. It was, in fact, none other than SEAN ‘HANDY’ HANNEBERRY on the Specialized S-Works. Thanks for getting in touch, chum!
TRIAL REALLY HARD
Finally, after weeks of delay, we are pleased to bring you the full, unexpurgated details of PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN’s impressive successes in the clandestine world of the time trial. Not content with being this season’s fastest rider in the Hounslow Wheelers’ 10-miler in Chertsey, Dynamo’s race secretary ventured to Maresfield on August 21st for his first “25” in 14 years. He came 5th on the East Sussex course with a time of 57:22 – and the quids-in king said of his princely £20 winnings: “It’s almost a third of what I made the previous year in the Surrey League, so there’s gold in them flat dual carriageways!” You heard it here first! With his pockets bulging, Paul returned the following week to post a new personal best of 56:57 and beat that time by 13 seconds just seven days later at another 25-miler in Souldern Village near Oxford. Third-placed Paul missed out on the No.2 spot by one second – and he reveals: “If I’d actually taken the right junctions off a few of the roundabouts I’d have done better.” The Kingston killer is keen to get more Dynamates joining him for a few time trials, as the club is relatively unknown in national tri-bar circles. We can’t have that, Dyanamates!
OVAL AND OUT
The shin pads are off and we’re back in the pavilion for a delicious cream tea. Many thanks for knocking us for six with all your fantastic contributions – and please remember that we are a questionable umpire who would be nothing without you, our deadly fast bowler. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘L.B.W.’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – or simply hit your reply button if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the stumps are taken down, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Cancelled due to Richmond Park being closed for the London Duathlon.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a middle wicket.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride into Surrey, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 – SURREY LEAGUE TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS, MoD CHERTSEY, E/1/2/3/4, 40MILES: 1 Simon Saunders (SP Systems/Wightlink) 1:33:00; 2 Gary Kristensen (agiskoviner.com); 3 Russell Page (SP Systems/Wightlink) +0.15; 4 Robert Cranstone ( VC Meudon); 5 Robert Fallon (Fit-For); 6 GUY POWDRILL (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Darrell Pembroke (agiskoviner.com); 8 Adrian Goatley (agiskoviner.com); 9 Mike Anderson (agiskoviner.com) +1:15; 10 Mark Pettitt (agiskoviner.com); 11 GUY ANDREWS (LONDON DYNAMO); 12 Mickael Metayer (Fit-For); 13 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 14 Pete Connelly (VC Meudon); 15 Ben Riches (Farnborough and Camberley); 16 Stephen Ferris (VC Meudon); 17 Nigel Dickinson (Farnborough and Camberley); 18 Andy Davies (Fit-For); 19 D Coughlin (SP Systems/Wightlink); 20 Neil Linford-Relph (VC Meudon); 21 STUART SPIES (LONDON DYNAMO); 22 Simon Hazeldine (Addiscombe); 23 Nicholas Dawes (Farnborough and Camberley); 24 John Surmer (Fit-For); 25 Sylvain Garde (Addiscombe); 26 David Larcombe (VC Meudon); 27 Adrian Rowf (SP Systems/Wightlink); 28 Simon Clark (Addiscombe) +1 lap.
TEAM CLASSIFICATION: 1 agiskoviner.com (17pts); 2 SP Systems/Wightlink (23pts); 3 LONDON DYNAMO 30pts; 4 VC Meudon (34pts); 5 Fit-For (35pts); 6 Farnborough and Camberley (55pts); 7 Addiscombe (75pts).
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 – SURREY LEAGUE HANDICAP, MoD CHERTSEY, E/1/2/3/4/J, 40 MILES: 1 Cyan Collier (Oxford City) 2 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Mike Brampton (TM Racing); 4 Daren Williams (Abergavenny); 5 Andrew Norfolk (agiskoviner.com); 6 DAVID NORRIS (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Dick Crane (Crawley Wheelers); 8 Graeme Robertson (Fit-For); 9 Richard Gilham (unatt); 10 Andrew McKie (South Western); 11 BEN PLOWMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 12 Benno Schlackter (Hastings and St Leonards); 13 Daron Gardner (Basingstoke); 14 Brad Lamb (Victoria); 15 Martin Speyers (Addiscombe); 16 Paul McDonagh (Kingston Wheelers); 17 James Hopkins (Redhill); 18 Richard Webb (Farnborough and Camberley); 19 Allan Hopkins (Redhill); 20 SAM WOODHOUSE (LONDON DYNAMO); 21 Anthony Flick (Tri London); 22 WILL HAYTER (LONDON DYNAMO); 23 Oly Aldridge (VC Meudon); 24 Brent Skinner (Hounslow and District); 25 CHARLES PEACH (LONDON DYNAMO); 26 Gavin Morton (Charlotteville); 27 Lindsey Ruocco (VC Meudon); 28 Dean Wilson (Kingsnorth International); 29 Rob Enslin (Viner Bikes Agisko); 30 Lewis Atkins (Glendene); 31 Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth International); 32 Christopher Parlett (Tunbridge Wells); 33 Alan Brooks (Crawley); 34 Kevin Blann (Velocity The Exercise Deck); 35 Richard Pearman (Velocity The Exercise Deck); 36 Keith Jarrett (i-team.co.uk); 37 Lee Day (Liphook Cycles); 38 Maria David (Addiscombe); 39 Jayne Wadswory (De Laune).
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 – BC WEST THAMES/THAMES VELO CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON CYCLE CIRCUIT, E/1/2/3, 60KM: 1 Martin Smith (Team Milton Keynes/Corley Cycles) 01:21:00; 2 V. Halpern (A W Cycles); 3 D. Davies (agiskoviner.com); 4 C. Denman (Beyond Mountain Bikes); 5 M. Wilmot (Team Quest); 6 M. Northover (Giro); 7 D. Gabalini (Angliasport/Condor); 8 PAUL ATKINSON (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 N. Spurling (Finsbury Park); 10 J. Bray (London Phoenix).
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 – SURREY LEAGUE HANDICAP WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS, HENFOLD HILL, 50 MILES: 1 Paul Pickup (Liphook Cycles) 2:14:00; 2 Robert Fallon (Fit-For) +2:38; 3 Nigel Carpenter (Pacific Racing) +2:40; 4 Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth International); +2:52; 5 Lewis Atkins (Glendene) +5:02; 6 Lee Day (Liphook Cycles); 7 Stephen Cave (34th Nomads); 8 GUY POWDRILL (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 Neil Linford-Relph (VC Meudon); 10 Mickael Metayer (Fit-For); 11 Jason Edwards (Tunbridge Wells); 12 Niall Brice (Pacific Racing); 13 Tom Copeland (Fit-For); 14 Richard Collins (Twickenham); 15 Marek Siwicki (Addiscombe); 16 Mark Bremner (VC Meudon); 17= James McManus (Gemini); 17= David Kennett (Fit-For); 17= Kevin Davey (Pacific Racing); 20 CHRIS SHAW (LONDON DYNAMO); 21 Andy Parle (Lewes Wanderers); 22 Toni Bond (TM Racing); 23 Graham Wood (Crawley); 24 WILL HAYTER (LONDON DYNAMO); 25 Simon Francis (Fit-For) + 8:06; 26 Dick Crane (Crawley Wheelers) +1 lap; 27 Jeremy Uphill (Pearson Cycles); 28 Shannon Durrant (Pearson Cycles); 29 James Hopkins (Redhill); 30 Richard Webb (Farnborough and Camberley).
THE LAST WORD
“Early in his cycling career, Paolo Bettini picked up the nickname El Grillo, ‘The Cricket’, because he could not stay in a group and instead jumped ahead to attack the course.”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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