London Dynamo Newsletter #24, 10.09.04
CAPITAL EFFORT
It’s the city that’s synonymous with black cabs, beefeaters, and the colour being royally trooped. It’s the throbbing heart of the nation, packed with pageantry and pomp. It’s also the place that Dynamates like to call home – and now, thanks to a thrilling display of power in the shadow of Parliament, the capital’s grandest cycling club has become as synonymous with London as red buses, bowler hats and dubious hot-dog carts. That’s right, proud reader – London Dynamo wowed the crowds in Westminster as the team secured two places in the top 25 among a top-flight field of 190 riders at the Bob Chicken criterium. That’s clucking amazing! So come with us as we journey once more to Whitehall to watch the sensational support race and the final stage of the Tour of Britain. Now where did we put that giant inflatable T-Mobile hand…
RIDE ON TIME
The big Day-namo out began with a special Sunday ride which replaced Box Hill in favour of a ceremonial procession into the centre of town. Eight honoured riders, most of whom were attired in distinguished Dynamo kit, waved at beaming passers-by as they coasted at monarchical pace along the Kings Road in glorious weather conditions. It really was sun-thing special! Ride co-ordinator ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY vowed to bring the group into Westminster at noon – and Big Ben struck 12 at the very moment the club’s ambassadors rolled into Parliament Square. Now that’s what we call surgical precision, doctor!
PRIME MOVER
A squadron of magnificent ‘Mos joined the Surrey Hill riders at the barriers along Whitehall in what was the biggest Dyna-mass turnout yet at any event. Step forward CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES, ADAM ‘YO-YO’ DOBBS, LUCY ‘DEMURE’ DOVE, MARTIN ‘LANKY’ GARRATT, CHRIS ‘BIG FISH’ HADDOCK, PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS, DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS, NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, ‘BIG’ BEN PURCELL, ANDY ‘LISTEN UP’ STEVENSON, REBECCA ‘OBJECTION’ STUBBS, ROB ‘ALL WEATHER’ TUBBS, CRAIG ‘AUSSIE’ THOMPSON and many more who hollered encouragement at the quartet of Dynamates poised on the starting line. It wasn’t long before WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE’ showed the 190-strong pack a flash of Dynamagic by winning the first prime in style and pocketing a crisp £20 note for his efforts. Commanding as ever, the Cyclefit sensation freewheeled across the line as he turned around to give the losers of the intermediate sprint one of his signature long, hard stares. That showed ’em!
HUGH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
The crafty Kiwi later sent ripples of delight through the cluster of club members when he ended up placing a fantastic 5th overall – but there were plenty of Dyna-moans when opinionated race commentator Hugh Porter took a pot-shot at our very own TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT. With eight laps to go, Dynamo’s quiet man made a brave attempt to go off the front as tactless Porter bellowed: “Oh dear! Look at Hemnant’s ragged riding style! He’s never going to get away from the bunch like that!” What would you know, pal – you can’t even get his sodding name right! Unfazed at getting undeservedly slagged off in front of hundreds of people, Tom quickly recovered from his failed attack and finished brilliantly at 17th. So you can stuff that up your microphone, Porter!
FRAUGHT SHORT
Compact killer SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, who pulled off a respectable bunch finish, proved the riders were hurtling around at a daredevil pace when he gave the Newsletter an exclusive glimpse of his cycle computer after the race had finished. It showed a thigh-shredding speed of 29.06mph – and that was just the average! Inevitably there were casualties as the bunch hurtled through the corners – and sadly RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT fell off the back after he was forced into a barrier. But despite not actually finishing the race, the little fella still managed to bag 24th place on the official results list. Incredible! Rusty’s pleasant surprise more than makes up for his frustration in the E/1/2/3 race at Hillingdon the day before, where he won the bunch sprint but didn’t pick up a single point as a 10-man break had managed to stay away. Bah! But at least he was able to give MARTIN ‘LANKY’ GARRATT a pat on the back in the clubhouse after the comeback kid finished his first race of the season following his accident. Welcome back to the fold, fella!
COASTING TO VICTORY
Milling around the Westminster circuit was none other than GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL – and he confirmed that his triathlon career has finally ended. But the jubilant twin-piston powerhouse was delighted to reveal he has finished on a high by bagging 1st place overall in a field of 300 at the South Coast Triathlon on Saturday. Lovely stuff! Tri novice DAVID ‘WEBMASTER’ SPENCE also put in an impressive result in Seaford, finishing 13th on a “bloody hot” day in the BTA members’ sprint distance race which comprised a 750m swim, 20km bike and 5km run. David reveals: “The sun and the heat were the challenges of the day with lots of otherwise sharp triathletes slowing to a walk as the run progressed. I was lucky enough to have the wife and lots of in-laws there to cheer and hand out water, which definitely helped keep me running. With six races under my belt, that’s it for my first season.” Have a well-deserved break, pal! David rightly points out that we failed to notice his name on the results sheet for the Thames Turbo Triathlon, where he bagged 75th place – “23 places higher than last time and the field was bigger.” And he has another gripe: “I was totally blanked by fellow Dynamate TOM HEMMANT.” Why on earth would he do that? It’s over to you, Tom!
BREAK OF DAVIES
He’s done it – he’s finally done it! After weeks of trying, tenacious TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES has managed to make a breakaway stick – and the industrious fella won a bright, shiny new BCF point for his efforts in the 46km 4/W/J race at Thruxton on Saturday. Well done, sir! The lank-haired lad worked solidly for five laps in the seven-man break before taking sixth in the sprint – but he still isn’t happy. Tom reveals: “It was shambolic. I’m going to take up lead-out man as a full-time job instead.” Trusty wheel-sucker NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, who graduated to 3rd cat at Hillingdon this week, will be delighted to hear that, Tom!
RUBBLY JUBBLY
Newly-enrolled Dynamette PETA McSHARRY dropped us a line to say she’s “hooked” on the Parkride after turning up for the first time last Saturday. That’s what we like to hear! And Peta has jetted off to Athens after getting some great news – she’s been selected from more than 500 applicants to be one of the 60 sports massage therapists at the Paralympics. Now we know who to ask for a rub-down after four strenuous laps of Richmond Park!
A LITTLE BIT MOORE
Dynamo dangerman CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD will be out of harm’s way from Monday when he begins the biggest ride yet by any club member. The international man of leisure is cycling from Land’s End to John O’Groats with his chum Kevin, who many members will remember from Cyclefit’s Mallorca training camp. They’re doing the ride for the Bobby Moore and Lance Armstrong cancer charities and you can donate by logging onto http://www.theplaygroupcharity.blogspot.com. Chris will also be posting details of his progress on the site. Let’s hope the infamous risk-taker stops pedalling before turning on his laptop!
FITTING ‘EM IN
We’re almost out of space in this bumper edition of your favourite weekly info-blast of all matters Dynamatic, but there’s just time to mention some special Dynamo discounts at Cyclefit. The Macklin Street marvels are offering 30% off fitting services, 30% of cardio testing, 20% off coaching services, 5% off Merckx and Serotta frames plus a whopping 50% discount on a three-week altitude training package. Apparently it’s the height of fashion among the pros!
OUTTA SIGHTS
We’ve watched the changing of the guard, we’ve gone to St Paul’s cathedral to relive the tear-swelling moment when Charles took Di up the aisle, and now we’re having a well-deserved lie down in our hotel room while watching Battlefield Earth on the in-house movie channel. Many thanks for all your entertaining contributions this week. We hope you have enjoyed our whistle-stop tour of London, but please remember that we are merely a tour guide and we would be nothing without you, our jaunty open-top bus. So please keep sending us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘CONDUCTOR’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we pick up the phone to order an Irish coffee from room service, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a free Eddy Merckx cap, complements of Cyclefit (customers must purchase a carbon frame GX2 and fork priced £1,899 to qualify for this offer. Terms and conditions apply. See in-store for details.)
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Three fast laps.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, SOUTH CIRCUIT LEAGUE NO.7, THRUXTON MOTOR CIRCUIT, 4/J/W, 46KM: 1 Garth Kruger (Solent); 2 Mark Rickaby (unatt); 3 Robert Foskett (Swindon); 4 Keith Tucker (Bournemouth Arrow); 5 Charlie Elsey (Newbury); 6 TOM DAVIES (LONDON DYNAMO).
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J, 40KM: 1 Victor Anderson (unatt); 2 A. Aldham-Breary (Ciclos Uno); 3 E. Young (Hounslow And District Wheelers); 4 R. West (unatt); 5 D. Magona (Ciclos Uno); 6. NICK PEACOCK (LONDON DYNAMO).
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, BOB CHICKEN LONDON GRAND PRIX, E1/2: 1 Mark Cavindish (Team Persil); 2 Dean Downing (Recycling.co.uk); 3 James Taylor (City Of Edinburgh); 4 Frank Van Heyzelbroucke (Navigators); 5 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Simon Cope (Team Edwardes); 7 Ross Muir (Velo Ecosse); 8 Sean Yates (CSC); 9 Ian Holt (Prestige VC); 10 Brian Taylor (VC Londres); 11 Nic Tilling (Anglia Sport); 12 Simon Gaywood (Luton); 13 Ashley Holding (Tunbridge Wells); 14 Craig Stephens (Ciclos Uno); 15 Tom White (Team Persil); 16 Matthew Talbot (Glendene); 17 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 18 Nick Dibble (Climb On Bikes); 19 Jamie Newell (Evans); 20 Gary Flint (In Gear); 21 Steve Cummings (Sport And Publicity); 22 Andy Lyons (Parrot Print); 23 Richard Whitehorn (Glendene); 24 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 25 Justin Hoy (Evans).
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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