London Dynamo Newsletter #25, 17.09.04
BREEZY DOES IT
Can you hear it, Dynamates? Can you hear that familiar whistle calling time on the summer? Mrs Newsletter certainly can – and she wrapped herself in a chunky duvet the moment she heard the shrill sound of the winter wind squeezing in through the tiny gap at the foot of the door to our soundproof bunker. She’ll probably be hibernating in her feathery cocoon until July! But unlike the first lady of this well-respected organ, Dynamo’s tempestuous big-hitters certainly aren’t afraid of a few chilly gusts – and the breezy buddies went down a storm by blowing away the opposition this week at Cutmill and the team champs in Chertsey. So glide along with us on a steady current as we show you how they proved their blustery rivals are full of hot air. Here comes the first gale…
EVANS ABOVE!
He loves it when a plan comes together! Chief strategist PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN has been walking around Dynamo Towers with a huge grin on his face ever since ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON and MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON conquered a retail giant at the E/1/2/3 South East Team Championship on Saturday. That’s right, stunned reader – the Evans riders were no match for Dynamo’s fab four, particularly Tom who got in a break, dropped back to the bunch when he realised none of his team-mates were around and then pulled them back onto the escaping group. Now that’s tactics! Dynamo’s quiet man reveals: “At one point Mike was in front of me when I spotted Paul Pickup starting to attack, so I just shouted at Mike to go and he was on Paul’s wheel.” Talk about organised – and they did the whole race a man down! Our awsome foursome missed the break of three that ended up finishing about 50m ahead of the bunch – but Tom, Mike and Martin got 7th, 10th and 13th respectively in the sprint. Add up those positions and you get a score of 30, which was enough to put London Dynamo in 3rd place overall with Evans taking 4th. Result! More amazingly, the cracking quartet almost didn’t race after WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE pulled out due to illness and GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS dropped out because of a mechanical, leaving them two men short of a full team before the race began. Thank goodness they spotted Martin strolling across the car park – and full credit to the Weybridge wonder for agreeing to race even though he wasn’t feeling too good. There’s only one downside to the race – we just can’t get Paul to shut up! “We beat Evans, didn’t we?” That’s right, Paul. “Did I mention Justin Hoy was last?” Possibly, Paul. “Oh yes – I forgot to mention we beat Evans.” Enough, already!
DRAFTY RESOLUTION
It’s not just the club’s Dyna-magnificent performance at Chertsey that has got Paul joyously bursting into the Newsletter bunker and letting in a huge draft as he flings open the door. The club’s official race secretary has been gleefully raiding our stationery draw for as many pens, paperclips and staplers he can stuff into his jersey’s rear pockets because he wants to look impressively organised when he passes a resolution or two at London Dynamo’s inaugural annual general meeting. The date of the AGM, along with more details, will be announced shortly – and this could be your chance to get a swanky job in the executive offices at the top of Dynamo Towers. As with most gravy trains and closed shops, the procedure is as simple as it is corrupt. Just make up a position and then nominate yourself – it’s as easy as taking the first corner at Goodwood. We’re hoping that MIKE ‘EXPLETIVE DELETED’ DEBNEY puts himself forward as Dynamo’s Minister for Anglo-Saxon – but that’s not effing likely!
WEAR HAVE THEY ALL GONE?
After plying Paul with as many big marker pens as we could find, we bundled the happy lad out of our cosy bolt-hole and into the lift – but two minutes later he was back with an urgent message from our pals at Cyclefit. It seems our sponsors having been flogging loads of dashing Dynamo kit to their customers – so ANDY ‘LISTEN UP’ STEVENSON and other members who have yet to don the brilliant blue, black and orange of the south-east’s sexiest cycling club had better get over to Macklin Street pretty sharpish. The Covent Garden crew also has a limited stock of gilets to keep you warm throughout the off-season. Some members may balk at the idea of wearing a sleeveless garment – but there’s no arm in trying it out!
WARD’S HE UP TO?
While we’re on the subject of devilishly handsome uniforms, the Newsletter is pleased to see that CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD has taken up our suggestion of featuring more photos of him dressed in Dynamo kit on his website. Regular readers will already know that the international man of leisure is cycling from Lands End to John O’Groats with his chum Kevin Fitzgerald – and he contacted the Newsletter on Thursday morning to let us know that he has made it to Bristol. Ward a relief! You can find out more about Chris’s charity ride, make a donation, or catch up with his progress at http://www.theplaygroupcharity.blogspot.com. His mobile number is also on the site – so send him a text message to show that his Dynamates are thinking of him in his hour of need!
CHAD’S THE WAY TO DO IT
Back now to the red-hot racing action – and it was CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN who impressed at the Surrey League Team Championship at Chertsey which kicked off a couple of hours before the E/1/2/3 race. With a strong wind down the finishing straight stopping breaks getting away, the former mountain biker had to try his luck in the bunch sprint and ended up finishing in 6th place. Way to go, pal! His housemate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, who watched the 80km race, reveals: “Chris cruised across the line. Everyone around him was sprinting hard while he was spinning at 110rpm and admiring the wildlife in the grass verge.” He makes it look so easy! And hearty praise goes out to REBECCA ‘OBJECTION’ STUBBS, as PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN reveals: “Loads of guys pulled out and she finished very comfortably in the bunch as the only lady. She was off the front at one point!”
A HEMM-KNOWN QUANTITY
Ever the gentleman, Chadders has returned Tom’s favourable words about his performance by praising his friend’s premier calendar debut. As Chris predicted, Dynamo’s quiet man didn’t tell the Newsletter that he took part in the 170km Neil Gardener Memorial Race, but his chum points out: “Tom was racing against the likes of the Downing brothers – part of the Recycling crew who turned up with two team cars and race radios. And despite racing the previous day at Chertsey, he still managed to come a very impressive 32nd. That’s 32nd out of more than 100 riders, most of whom would have been elites.” But you know what’s coming next! Dynamo’s most frequently misspelled rider suffered another finishing sheet insult – and instead of just getting his name wrong, the race organisers simply listed Tom as “unknown”. If this carries on, we’re going to sue on his behalf!
CLOUD NINTH
The ever-competitive DOMINIC ‘I WANT IT ALL’ PAUL is another high-achieving Dynamate in the mould of Hemmant – but compared with Tom, his appearances in the Newsletter are relatively infrequent as he is One Of Them. You guessed it – Dom’s a triathlete, and we were pleased to learn this week that he is presently ranked 9th in the British series. Nice one! Dom competed at the National Olympic Distance Championships in Liverpool last weekend and managed to finish 4th out of 100 competitors in the 30-34 age group. He clocked up a time of 2hrs 2mins on the technical course including 1hr for the 25-mile bike – but he just missed out on a medal. There’s always next year! The discerning athlete described this periodical as “very good” before adding: “If I can only make time for a few bike races I might lose my 4th cat tag yet!” You’d better get your Sidis on – it’s already September!
CUTMILL DOWN TO SIZE
There’s barely enough room in this bumper edition of your favourite Dynamatic update to mention all the ups and downs of Sunday’s hilly rollercoaster at Cutmill, so we’ll leave it to ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY to sum up the 115km race in three words: “Ouch, ouch, ouch.” The 2nd and 3rd cat competition saw MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT looking super strong in his first Surrey League event this season and Mike spent two lonely, painful laps bridging across to the break after RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT fell back into the bunch. Bad luck, pal! Mike let two riders get away before sitting at the back of an eight-man group until the final climb where he managed to secure 4th place. The tough guy revealed: “It was so, so hard!” Mike also points out that ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY finished 10th in the 80km 3/4/W/J race after racing at Chertsey the day before. Have a lie down, sir – you deserve it!
KEN WATCH!
He’s back! After many, many weeks, much-loved mystery man KEN BUIST has surfaced on our radar with an uncommonly vocal appearance in Richmond Park. Eagle-eyed spotter ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY reveals: “I was fixing my rear wheel at Roehampton Gate when I heard someone shout ‘Get off the f***ing phone’ in a distinctive Kiwi accent. I looked up and saw Ken gesticulating at a petrified-looking lady in a white Renault Clio – but she was on her mobile.” Good for you, Ken! TOM HEMMANT has pointed out that the wily Antipodean is on the pre-entry sheet for a 106km race in Steeple, Essex next month, so we reckon he’s getting in some training for the big day. Now everyone’s going to swoop on Richmond Park in the hope of spotting the south-east cycling scene’s Greta Garbo! If you manage to catch a glimpse of Ken, then send a Dyna-mail to news@londondynamo.co.uk. And remember – no detail of your encounter, no matter how small, is ever considered irrelevant or overly-obsessive. This is Ken Watch, after all!
WIND-ING DOWN
This week’s whirlwind of Dynamo-related news has finally abated, so you are all free to leave your emergency shelters and carry on with your everyday lives. Many thanks for all your contributions this week. Always remember that we are a calming zephyr but we would be nothing without you, our awesome Hurricane Ivan – so please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BLUSTER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. But DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a gentle breeze rustles the leaves at the top of Box Hill, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a poor excuse.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. A steady canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, SOUTH EAST TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, MoD CHERTSEY, E/1/2/3, 100KM, TEAM RANKINGS: 1 VC Meudon (13); 2 Liphook Cycles (15); 3 LONDON DYNAMO (30); 4 Evans Cycles (33); 5 Freerider Cycles (33); 6 VC Meudon (54).
RACE RESULT: 1 Peter Kench (Liphook) 1:38:05; 2 Jamie Newall (Evans); 3 Warren Jesse (VC Meudon); 4 Anders Christensen (VC Meudon); 5 Paul Pickup (Liphook); 6 Steven Richards (VC Meudon); 7 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 Brett Perez (Freerider); 9 Lee Day (Liphook); 10 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 Connor Henry (Freerider); 12 David McMullen (Evans) 13 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO); 14 Darrell Pembroke (Freerider); 15 Dean Frost (Liphook); 16 David Larcombe (VC Meudon); 17 Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 18 David Creeggan (VC Meudon); 19 John Veness (Evans); 20 Robert Cranstone (VC Meudon); 21 Garry Clark (Evans); 22 Justin Hoy (Evans) @ 1 lap.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, SURREY LEAGUE TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, MoD CHERTSEY, 2/3/4/J/W, 80KM, TEAM RANKINGS: 1 Southborough & District (32); 2 Addiscombe (32); 3 Twickenham (50); 4 LONDON DYNAMO (55); 5 Tunbridge Wells (57); 6 VC Meudon (60); 7 I-team.co.uk (77); 8 Freerider (86); 9 Brighton Mitre (120); 10 Farnborough & Camberley (124); 10 Kingston Wheelers (124).
RACE RESULT: 1 Neil Whelan (Southborough & District) 1:11:20; 2 Lee Smith (VC Meudon/Charlotteville); 3 Raymond Healey (Twickenham); 4 Paul Tunnell (Addiscombe); 5 Marek Siwicki (Addiscombe); 6 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 David Griffths (Twickenham); 8 Jon Lewis (Freerider); 9 unidentified (number 85); 10 Andy Jones (I-team.co.uk); 11 Mark Denton (Southborough & District); 12 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells); 13 N Robertson (Nomads/Addiscombe); 14 Stephen Ferris (VC Meudon); 15 Robert Fallon (Nomads/Addiscombe); 16 Michael Crockford (Gravesend/Meudon/Sigma); 17 Jonathan Maher (Gravesend/Meudon/Sigma); 18 John Danter (VC Meudon); 19 Gary Moore (Tunbridge Wells); 20 Ben Mitchell (Southborough & District); 21 Mark Skinner (Brighton Mitre); 22 ADAM DOBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 23 Guy Watson (I-team.co.uk); 24 Brian Tidey (Addiscombe); 25 Brian Thompson (Addiscombe); 26 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells); 27 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 28 Jim Orr (VC Meudon); 29 Andrew Dilkes (VC Meudon/Charlotteville); 30 Mark Bremner (VC Meudon); 31 Andrew Harvey (Kingston Wheelers); 32 TOM DAVIES (LONDON DYNAMO); 33 Rod Saxby (Freerider); 34 Philip Riley (Southborough & District); 35 Chris Howard (Southborough & District); 36 REBECCA STUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 37 Ian Jeffrey (Old Portlians); 38 Anthony Mott (VC Meudon); 39 Graham Kinsey (Farnborough & Camberley); 40 Jeff Baird (Twickenham) 41 Mick McManus (Twickenham); 42 James Bates (Farnborough & Camberley); 43 Adam Witherington (Farnborough & Camberley); 44 Andy MacFarlane (I-team.co.uk); 45 Mario Manelfi (Freerider); 46 Tim Lawn (Kingston Wheelers); 47 Nick de Sancha (Kingston Wheelers); 48 Jason Edwards (Tunbridge Wells); 49 Toby Leyton (Brighton Mitre); 50 Rob Fuller (Brighton Mitre); 51 Nick Haskoll (Brighton Mitre); 52 Stephen Cave (Nomads/Addiscombe); 53 Daniel Manelfi (Freerider); 54 Colin Summerfield (Gravesend/Meudon/Sigma); 55 Eugene Bardwell (Southdown Velo).
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12; NEIL GARDNER MEMORIAL TROPHY ROAD RACE, CRANFIELD UNIVERSITY, E/1; 170KM: 1 Dean Downing (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 2 Russell Downing (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 3 Mark Lovatt (Planet-X); 4 Malcolm Elliot (Pinarello); 5 Robin Sharman (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 6 Andrew Young (Python); 7 Kevin Dawson (Planet X); 8 Grant Bayton (Angliasport); 9 Matthew Stephens (Sigma Sport); 10 Duncan Urqhart (PrestigeVC.com); 11 Gary Baker (Angliasport); 12 Ben Greenwood (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 13 Colin Roshier (Team Quest); 14 Alistair Kay (York Cycle Works); 15 Mark Wordsworth (Doncaster Wheelers); 16 Evan Oliphant (Scotland); 17 Greg Sandy (Alcan-Bianchi); 18 Martin Forde (Race Scene); 19 Paul Crook (Angliasport); 20 Rick King (Bannatyne); 21 Phil Axe (Rutland); 22 Chris Doel (Team Quest); 23 Peter Hey (West Pennine); 24 Andy Lyons (Parrot Print); 25 Mark Daley (Team Darenth); 26 Richard Whitehorne (Glendene); 27 Gareth Hewitt (JE James); 28 Steve Skuse (Kingsnorth International); 29 Bryan Pool (Anderson Racing); 30 Gary Hand (Scotland); 31 Ross Adams (Red Kite Cycles); 32 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 33 Danny Axford (Parrot Print); 34 Jamie Norfolk (Giant); 35 Mark Williams (Python); 36 Tim Wallis (Solihull); 37 William Bjergfelt (Saracen); 38 Nic Tilling (Angliasport); 39 Jules Birks (Alcan-Bianchi); 40 Simon Henley (Team Milton Keynes); 41 John Tanner (Planet-X); 42 unidentified (number 300) 43 Shaun Snodden (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 44 John Charlesworth (Bannatyne); 45 Nigel Williams (Python); 46 Martin Smith (Team Milton Keynes); 47 Gary Flint (In Gear); 48 Adam Weaver (Doncaster Wheelers); 49 Roger Morgan (Parrot Print); 50 Andy Collis (Team Lichfield); 51 Roy Chamberlain (Team Milton Keynes).
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE, CUTMILL, 2/3, 115KM: 1 William Bell (Gemini); 2 Mark Scoular (Liphook); 3 John Tuckett (Oxford University); 4 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Mark Ketterer (unatt); 6 Eddie Adkins (Bournemouth Arrow); 7 Brendan Heaslip (Kenton RC); 8 Henry Furniss (unatt); 9 Kevin Davey (Pacific Racing); 10 Dave Larcombe (VC Meudon); 11 Ian Black (Kingsnorth); 12 Paul Anderson (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 13 Graham Wood (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 14 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth); 15 Phil Starr (Starr Guttering).
3/4/W/J, 80KM: 1 James Wakelin (Evans); 2 Philip Glowinski (VC De Londres); 3 Simon Horton (VC Meudon); 4 Alex Atkins (Evans Cycles); 5 Gavin Morton (Charlotteville); 6 Gavin Buckley (VC Meudon); 7 Alan Hainsworth (Beyond Mountainbikes); 8 Tony Geraghty (Thames Velo); 9 Chris Howard (Southborough & District Wheelers) 10 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO).
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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