London Dynamo Newsletter #27, 01.10.04
A WHOLE LOT MOOR
As we reach the very pinnacle of the season, London Dynamo can stand tall and proudly say that it’s been a season of massive highs – but amazingly, two soaring Dynamates have this week managed to scale even greater heights than their hard-climbing club chums. That’s right, giddy reader – the capital’s greatest polka-dot posse planted its blue, black and orange flag on the rugged Three Peaks free-for-all this week. Now that’s what we call a towering achievement! So come with us as we reveal how a little bit of Dynamagic was sprinkled over the Yorkshire moors. Here comes summit a bit special…
PEAK PERFORMANCE
Dynamo hunk MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON proved once again that he’s more than just a pretty face by taking up one of the toughest challenges of the cycling calendar. Oar-some ex-rower ALEX ‘BALFIE’ BALFOUR, who gorged on Pringles as Martin drove him to North Yorkshire, says of the 61km Three Peaks Cyclo-Cross event: “It’s not really a bike race, more a fell walk with a wheeled descent for the brave or a downhill scramble for everyone else. If only we had incorporated a run up boggy 700 metre hills in gale force winds and low clouds with our bikes on our back during the Parkride we would have been all set.” We’re sure that can be arranged in the off-season, fellas! Thanks to Alex’s dubious advice, Martin was the only rider with a slick front tyre – yet he still managed to finish a creditable 80th on the 246-strong results sheet, which gave him 14th place among the first-time riders. Top stuff! Around 40 minutes later a bloodied, battered and bruised Alex came over the line in 182nd place. The hardy lad had a flat tyre – and there was even more pain to come after the race! The big fella reveals: “My day ended in Lancaster A and E with my trousers around my ankles.” What on earth for? Balfie says: “I’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say I’m glad I don’t wish to have any more children.” We think we’ll leave it at that, pal!
RUSTY NAILS IT
He’s pulled it out of the bag! Pint-sized point-hunter RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT has been after that one elusive result that will enable him to keep his 2nd cat licence – and against the odds, he pulled it off in style on Sunday at Rusper. The compact killer took part in the 120km event – and there was a lot of griping when his team-mates PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE and ‘BIG’ BEN PURCELL discovered that the 2/3 race had been opened up to elites and 1st cats. Damn those cheeky Surrey League organisers! Thankfully, chief surgeon ‘Medical’ Mike had the cure for their woes: send a rider in the break and hope it sticks – and in case that doesn’t work, leave someone strong for the finish. So at just under the 25km mark, Paul dutifully joined a five-man breakaway – but big-hitter Paul Pickup got to the front of the bunch and pulled them back just as the Kingston killer began dreaming of a podium finish. Unlucky, pal! But determined Rusty faired much better, managing to nab 5th place in the bunch sprint which gives him the points he needs to stay up. Wo-hoo! Paul praised potty-mouthed Debney’s tactics and revealed: “Mike must get an honourable mention for his constant work rate which was commented on by the elites in the hall after the race.” Excellent stuff! We should point out that Rusty’s 5th place has yet to be confirmed by Surrey League supremo Keith Butler – but when his mob release the results for Rusper next week, we should also see ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY in the No.8 spot for the 3/4/W/J race. KEN BUIST’s protÈgÈ got in a couple of unsuccessful breaks and even launched a one-man attack of his own before the race ended in a tough uphill bunch sprint. With a performance like that, it’s no wonder long-haired Rob is often mistaken for fellow hirsute roadman WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE!
SWELL GIBSON
Fantastic news! ROBERT ‘WAAAAHHHHNNHUNDREEEERRRRD!’ Gibson has got in touch – and the Dynamate who has allowed the club’s membership base to hit the sensational century mark has turned out to be a really swell guy. The chuffed chap admits it was “an honour and a privilege” to be named as Dynamo’s 100th member – and he reveals it was the sight of PHIL ‘HOOP SHOOTER’ SHEEHAN dressed in the club’s cracking kit that prompted him to join. Robert, who rode with the former basketball player on his recent London-Paris charity ride, says: “We spent most of the trip chasing him up the hills of northern France. I thought it would be worth joining the club just to wear the kit and maybe see if it contained some magical climbing powers.” If only it did, pal! The De Rosa rider had never tackled Richmond Park until his first Parkride a few weeks ago – and he adds: “I really enjoyed the course. It was a real blast, definitely my sort of riding, with fast through-and-off.” That’s what we like to hear – another satisfied customer!
END-TO-END ENDS
Finally, we’d like to make one final mention of CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD’s epic ride from Land’s End to John O’Groats. The International Man Of Leisure wrote a full account of his journey which he posted on his website before retiring for a long, hot bath. Have a read of it on http://www.theplaygroupcharity.blogspot.com and find out about his next charity challenge. There’s no stopping this man!
GET THE HILL OUT OF HERE
The top of the climb is finally behind us and all that remains is a perilous 50mph descent into the valley. It will be ages before we’re back in the small gears but it’ll be only seven days until another edition of your preferred source of all Dyna-major discussion slips stealthily into your inbox. Until then, do your best to remember that we are a cheeky Kilimanjaro but we would be nothing without you, our mighty Mount Everest. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘SOCIAL CLIMBER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. But PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the road begins to level out, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a meandering lift from Nick de Sancha of the Kingston Wheelers.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER, 43RD THREE PEAKS CYCLO-CROSS, HORTON-IN-RIBBLESHIRE, NORTH YORKSHIRE, 61KM: 1 Rob Jebb (Wheelbase/Ron Hill) 03.04.52; 2 Nick Craig (Team Persil) 03.13.21; 3 Lewis Craven (Wheelbase/Ron Hill) 03.19.59; 4 Geoffrey Beetham (Eastern Region Velo/Bianchi UK) 03.20.05; 5 Daniel Alexander (Matlock CC/Wards/Impsport/Farmers) 03.21.53; 6 Dale Goodwin (Paul Milnes/Bradford Olympic); 03.24.40 7 Oli Cox (Leicester) 03.25.00; 8 Paul Oldham (Giant/Hope Technology) 03.26.18; 9 Ian Wilkinson (Giant Racing) 03.26.26; 10 Chris Young (Team Marie Curie/JD Cycles); 03.35.34; 80 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 04.17.57; 183 ALEX BALFOUR (LONDON DYNAMO) 04.56.46; 246 Ian Briggs (Didcot Phoenix) 05.52.45.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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