London Dynamo Newsletter #28, 08.10.04
MoD A PERFORMANCE!
As tough-talking battalion boss GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS has undoubtedly noted, this season has been a long, drawn-out conflict – but while many enemy squadrons have already waved the white flag, Dynamo’s super troopers have continued to march their way onto the results sheets that matter and capture a clutch of valuable BCF points. Now that’s what we call a conquering army! The capital’s sharpest shooters had a blast at the Ministry of Defence circuit at Chertsey – so come with us as we recall how rival riders cowered at the sight of London Dynamo wheeling out its big guns. Here comes the opening shot…
SHOCK AND FOUR
Fearless privates DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS and CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL were the first fellas over the top on Saturday – and the two-man coalition, which comprised the only riders in matching jerseys at the category 4 race, quickly realised it was outnumbered by volatile rebel forces. With horse chestnuts scattered across the slippery circuit as liberally as landmines in a bombed-out city, the pair sat tight as insurgent after insurgent launched futile suicide missions off the front. Hairy stuff! Plucky David paused only to straighten his epaulettes as he revealed: “The reconnaissance of the early laps bore fruit as we sat tight near the front of the bunch in the final couple of miles. When the pedals started flying, we opened fire into a headwind in the final 100m.” And when the dust had settled, it emerged that Norris had taken 2nd with Campbell following in 5th place. Mission accomplished! But every war has its casualties – and MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT turned out to be the wounded party in the following 3/W/J competition. The lanky lad got into an early break of two with eventual race winner Steven Woodbridge as CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, ADAM ‘YO-YO’ DOBBS, CHRIS ‘CRISPY’ HADDOCK and ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY defended Martin’s position. Then tragedy struck! Hirsute hero ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY explains: “Martin blew up with three laps to go leaving the rest of the team to contest the bunch sprint finish.” So it fell to the ponytailed WARRICK SPENCE look-a-like to grab a piece of Dynamo glory by coming the 5th. Give him a medal, Commander Andrews!
BEC WITH A BANG
While Rob and his Dynamates were slugging it out in the battlefield, an intriguing piece of intelligence arrived at the Newsletter’s top-secret war rooms concerning the return of daring Dynamette REBECCA ‘OBJECTION’ STUBBS. The name of our highly-sensitive source cannot be disclosed for fear of ugly reprisals – but he reveals the eager legal eagle infiltrated Irish soil a couple of weeks ago disguised by a gruesome Surrey League jersey. The shadowy informant, who uncovered details of the TQ Paper Ladies International 2-Day race in Dublin, confesses: “I don’t understand why Rebecca has kept her great result a secret. She came 24th in the GC, only 2mins down in a 3-stage race which saw three of the Irish women’s World Championships team competing alongside many other good riders.” Give her a hearty pat on the back next time you see her in the barracks, chaps! Rebecca also has the dubious honour of having thousands of nerdy bike fans take a gander at her on the Cycling News website – http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos.php?id=photos/2004/sep04/tqpaperint/stage1/ss13. Look closely, readers, and you’ll see she’s in Dynamo shorts. What a stylish lady!
KEN WATCH!
He’s back! And in keeping with this week’s theme, Dynamo’s man of mystery KEN BUIST has been spotted on a gruelling training session of almost military intensity. Keen-eyed spy RORY ‘GLORY, GLORY’ PARK says: “I saw him on Rocks Lane in Barnes at 5.30pm on Tuesday. He was on his Colnago, scowling at the rain. It was nice and dry in my car.” We bet it was, pal! Let us know if the enigmatic Antipodean cheered up later on by emailing news@londondynamo.co.uk. After enduring such a fierce downpour, he deserves a little sunshine in his life!
THE BATTLE IS OVER…
…but the war has not yet finished, Dynamates. There’s still another month to go until the BCF racing calendar can be finally shoved in the shredder – and your favourite dodgy dossier detailing the covert activities of the barmy black-and-blue army will be back in just seven days. Until then, please remember that we are a rather ineffectual la-di-da Gunner Graham, and we would be nothing without you, our bellowing Windsor Davis. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BRIGADIER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on email. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the theme to the Dam Busters stirs in the background, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride, Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at wwwlondondynamocouk/forum/viewforumphp?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a stiff salute.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter
THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 AND SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, TQ PAPER LADIES INTERNATIONAL 2 DAY, IRELAND: 1 Louise Moriarty, (Team Ireland A) 3:52:58; 2 Helen Gutteridge (Team Luciano) +0:02; 3 Inge Klep (Team Movingladies) +0:29; 4 Colette Swift, (Team Ireland A);+01:03; 5 Joukje Braam (Alcmaria Victrix) +01:06; 6 Julie O’Hagan (Team Ireland A) +01:12; 7 Siobhan Dervan (Team Ireland A) +01:13; 8 Kirsten Brooks (Wales) +01:16; 9 Caroline Gray (Wales) +01:23; 10 Yvonne Schroeder (RG Charlottenburg) +01.25; 11 Judith Helmink (Team Movingladies) +01.27; 12 Kim Blythe (Team Luciano) +01:27; 13 Jeanette Tebbitt (Team Luciano) +01:31; 14 Jane Berry (Wales) +01:32; 15 Heather Summers (BC East Midlands) +01:33; 16 Mary Brennan (Team Ireland A) +01:35; 17 Roisin Kennedy (Team Ireland B) +01:40; 18 Susan Hartog (Alcmaria Victrix) +01:41; 19 Linda Ringlever (Team Movingladies); +01:47; 20 Ann McFarland (Ulster) +01:48; 21 Susan O’Mara (Leinster) +01:49; 22 Angela Nainby (Surrey League) +01:52; 23 Merel Koenen (Alcmaria Victrix) +01:59; 24 REBECCA STUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); +02:07; 25 Lauren O’Neill (Team Luciano) +02:32; 26 Orla Hendron (Team Ireland B) 02:45; 27 Emma Quirke (Team Ireland B) +03:07; 28 Sharon van Essen (Team Movingladies) +04:50; 29 Melissa Mather (Team Luciano) +07:45; 30 Nancy Turkstra (Alcmaria Victrix) +08:10. 52 Fiona Tracey (Ulster) +59.37.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE, ALFORD, 2/3, 115KM: 1 Dave Larcombe (VC Meudon); 2 MARTIN GARRATT (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Graham Wood (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 4 Martin Hutt (Hounslow & District Wheelers); 5 Richard Hare (Victoria); 6 John Tuckett (Oxford University); 7 Philip Glowinski (VC De Londres); 8 Mark Scoular (Liphook); 9 Toby Neave (Southdown Velo); 10 James Wakelin (Evans); 11 Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 12 Stephen Ferris (VC Meudon); 13 Stephen Cave (Nomads); 14 Darrell Pembroke (Freerider); 15 Ramon Labiaga (Addiscombe).
SUNDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE, RUSPER, E/1/2/3, 120KM: 1 Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 2 Paul Pickup (Liphook); 3 Lee Day (Liphook); 4 Brett Perez (Freerider); 5 John Sadler (Addiscombe); 6 Lewis Atkins (Ciclos Uno); 7 Mark Freullet (Team Quest); 8 Paul Alderson (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 9 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 Philip Riley (Southborough & District Wheelers); 11 Nigel Carpenter (Pacific Racing); 12 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon); 13 Henry Furniss (unatt); 14 Colin McDermott (Festival); 15 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO).
3/4/W, 95KM: 1 Alan Hainsworth (Beyond MTB); 2 Tony Geraghty (Thames Velo) 3 Craig Wilson (VC Meudon); 4 Stuart Barrett (Glendene); 5 Gavin Morton (Charlotteville); 6 J. Woodward (Dbennett Training); 7 Tim Jones (Sigma); 8 Jon Hayes (Brighton Excelsior); 9 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 Neil Finch (Crawley).
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2, SURREY LEAGUE AT CHERTSEY, CHERTSEY MoD, 3/W/J, 50 MILES: 1 Steven Woodbridge (GS Stella) 2:26:08; 2 Dean Wilson (Kingsnorth International) @ 0:03; 3 Tom McCall (unatt); 4 Alan Clarke (South Western); 5 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Mike Brampton (Worthing Excelsior); 7 Ramon Labiaga (Addiscombe); 8 Simon Duke (Arctic); 9 Adrian Brown (Thames Velo); 10 Jon Lewis (Freerider Cycles); 11= Russ Turner (unatt); 11= CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 11= ADAM DOBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 11= CHRIS HADDOCK (LONDON DYNAMO); 15 Paul Williams (Bath); 16 Jonathan Greaves (Beyond MTB); 17 Mike Anderson (Team Velo); 18 Andrew McKie (South Western); 19 Nick Haskoll (Brighton Mitre); 20 Lindsey Ruocco (South Western); 21 John Leitch (Festival); 22 Brad Lamb (Glendene) @ 1 lap; 23 Darren Clarke (Army CU).
4/W/J, 28 miles: 1 Nick O’Brien (Team Quest) 1:14:00; 2 DAVID NORRIS (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Ralph Swallow (South Western); 4 David Streule (unatt); 5 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Stuart Jarret (Glendene).
The DYNAMITE! Files 
Leave a Reply