London Dynamo Newsletter #32, 05.11.04
KERRY DISAPPOINTING
It’s impossible to exaggerate just how much fun we have every day in the London Dynamo Newsletter soundproof bunker – but this week a major event across the pond has cast a dispiriting shadow over the pure joy of finding another great result spewing out of our ticker tape machine or receiving another sensational sighting of the reclusive KEN BUIST. And now that the dust has settled, we can’t help but wonder how different the war against those nasty terrorists might be if the American electorate had allowed it to be led by the planet’s most famous Serotta enthusiast. Bang goes another Cyclefit endorsement! Thankfully, keeping up with the activities of the capital’s most politically-aware cycling club have stopped us Dyna-moping about – and we are delighted to announce that the Surrey League Supreme Court has overturned a result in Dynamo’s favour. So come with us as we wade through the dimpled chads to uncover the truth. Here comes the first recount…
WOOD YOU BELIEVE IT!
Happy chappy DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS will be beaming even more widely this week after learning that he won the 4/W/J race at Goodwood a couple of weeks ago. Regular readers may remember that the Teddington titan put in a huge effort which resulted in him depositing his breakfast by the side of the track – and the hard-riding lad was certain he had narrowly missed out on the top spot. Talk about a sickener! But after sifting through the videotaped evidence, Keith ‘Firm But Fair’ Butler and his fellow Surrey League judges have decided David was first over the line. Now that’s what we call justice!
OTTER DISBELIEF
Sadly, it’s going to take a great deal of tampering with the evidence to get a similar result from Sunday’s E/1/2/3 race at Ottershaw. Tenacious twosome RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT managed to hold on until the sneaky elites forced a move with two laps to go. Despite having nothing left in the tank, Martin managed to put in one last effort – which resulted in him leading out the sprint. Unlucky, pal! Rusty took 20th while his lanky team-mate, who finished 16th in the 105km race, says: “It couldn’t have been closer – to last week’s result, that is!”
OUT-WARD BOUND FLIGHT
Competitive cyclists of a nervous disposition can rest easy for a while – International Man Of Leisure and highly unpredictable bike handler CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD will be off his Merckx for at least another week. Hurrah! The feisty fundraiser is jetting off to the States to run the New York marathon in aid of the Bobby Moore Fund For Cancer Research – and you can find out how to sponsor him or get involved with his charity challenges by going to http://www.theplaygroup.blogspot.com. Chris has already cycled from Land’s End to John O’Groats, so spending Sunday jogging around Manhattan should be a doddle!
GRILLED MEET
Chris will no doubt be disappointed at missing his chance to pop along to Richmond Park and grill the London Dynamo executive at the Annual General Meeting tomorrow. The inaugural pow-wow, which kicks off at 9am in the cafÈ by Roehampton Gate, is your chance to help shape the future of the club and decide which members will get the swanky top jobs next year. That’s right, awestruck reader – you too could soon have a plush office on the top floor of Dynamo Towers! Race secretary PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN will be doing a few laps at 7.30am and he reliably informs us that other Dynamates will be riding after the AGM. So there’s really no excuse to avoid your regular Saturday morning jaunt!
KEN WATCH!
One marvellous ‘Mo who certainly knows the value of a good training ride is KEN BUIST – and eagle-eyed TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES was delighted to see the slippery Antipodean putting in the miles while everyone else was out shopping. Tom spotted Ken from the back of a cab in Kensington High Street at approximately 2:45pm on Saturday – and Tufty reveals: “He was in his Dynamo kit, on the drops, pulling away from the lights.” Great to see you’re taking the Dynamo brand to the people, Ken!
CHADS YER LOT
The polling stations have shut, the lawyers have waded through the piles of punch-cards and the opposition has finally conceded defeat. It will be another four years until another US election but you will only have to wait one week for an equally farcical edition of in-depth Dynamo coverage. Until then, always remember that we are an enthusiastic Peter Snow, but we would be nothing without you, our impressive swingometer. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘NADER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on email. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the newly-elected president begins his victory speech, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate. As mentioned above, the ride will take place after the AGM, which begins at 9am in the cafÈ by Roehampton Gate. As usual, there will be fast, intermediate and steady groups. Road works are still ongoing, so expect to ride four laps in a “horseshoe” fashion. Unless you’re in WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE’s group, in which case you’ll probably end up doing an extra seven miles by repeatedly going through the middle and changing direction at random. As ever, anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a harsh word for NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, 17 OCTOBER, SURREY LEAGUE AT GOODWOOD, GOODWOOD MOTOR RACING CIRCUIT, 4/W/J, 50KM: 1 DAVID NORRIS (LONDON DYNAMO); 2 Marcus Browning (VC Meudon); 3 David Shaw (unatt); 4 Marcus Duffin (i-team.co.uk) 5 Richard Newey (Bournemouth Jubilee).
SUNDAY 31 OCTOBER, SURREY LEAGUE OTTERSHAW SERIES 2, OTTERSHAW, E1/2/3, 105KM: 1 Bryan Taylor (VC Londres) 2.43.20; 2 Adrian Goatly (Freerider) st; 3 Lee Day (Liphook) +13secs; 4 Mark Daly (Team Darenth) st; 5 Lewis Atkins (PCA/Ciclos Uno) st; 6 James Holland-Leader (Principa) st; 7 Colin McDermott (Festival RC) st; 8 Paul Holdsworth (Hounslow Whlrs) +25secs; 9 Craig Peter (VC Muedon); 10 Mark Creasy (VC Muedon); 11 Mark Sussex (Tonbridge); 12 Paul Alderson (Luciano); 13 Dave Griffiths (Twickenham); 14 Guy Pearson (Pearson Cycles); 15 Henry Furness (unatt); 16 MARTIN GARRATT (LONDON DYNAMO); 17 Mickael Metayer (Sport & Publicity); 18 Sharron Durratt (Pearson Cycles); 19 James Foster (Willesden); 20 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 21 Dave Larkham (VC Muedon); 22 Mario Manelfi (Freerider); 23 Stuart McManus (Glasgow Wheelers); 24 Tony Bond (Worthing Excelsior); 25 Bill Butterworth (Twickenham); 26 Gavin Morrin (unatt); 27 Chris Tune (Prestige VC); 28 David Strelle (unatt); 29 Mick Anderson (Velo VCA); 30 Graham Wood (Luciano); 31 Steve Ferguson (Team Maestro); 32 Mark Hubbard (Worthing Excelsior); 33 Russell Clarke (Festival RC); 34 Martin Hulbert (VC Muedon) all st.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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