Oscar Pereiro and the strange case of the unclothed, self-pleasuring policeman

January 31, 2012

Cyclepeople are polite people – perhaps too polite. Which could be why this humdinger has been cloaked in a veil of silence since the Inner Ring tweeted it on Friday. I, however, am not that mature – so I have bravely taken on the responsibility of bringing the story to a smaller, more puerile audience.

It seems Oscar Pereiro, that guy who was awarded first place in the 2006 Tour after Floyd Landis was disqualified, received a €150 fine after remonstrating with a policeman who was naked and masturbating on a beach in 2010. Feed the Spanish report into Google Translate, and it gets even more bizarre: apparently the copper’s arm was in plaster (hopefully not the one that was doing the tugging, otherwise he may have done himself a greater injury), and Pereiro claims: “He said he was a policeman and did not know who I was getting into.” They must have been standing very close together…

Perhaps it’s for the best that this chortlesome tale is likely to become largely forgotten. This wasn’t the first time Pereiro saw a scoundrel about to come first and was powerless to stop it, but he’d probably prefer to be remembered for being a winner of the Tour de France in questionable circumstances rather than that ex-bike racer who had an argument with a nude, truncheon-stroking lawman.

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