The DYNAMITE! Files

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #110, 28.07.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 27C max, wind S 12mph; Sun, light rain, 25C max, wind SW 12mph +++
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WRITE STUFF
+++ Dyna-moto with whiteboard gets thumbs up at SE series +++
Having introduced a much-needed dash of style to the capital’s gaudy racing scene and established a reasonably amusing weekly Dyna-mail newsletter, it would be easy for Britain’s most innovative cycling crew to rest on its laurels – but on Sunday the club managed to impress the peloton at the latest round of the prestigious South East Series by unveiling yet another great idea. The inaugural London Dynamo Summer Road Race in Handcross, West Sussex, was treated to its very own ardoisier – the chap displaying time checks on a board while riding pillion on a motorbike – in the form of marker-pen man DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE, who was scribbling away as GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY kept a firm hand on the throttle. Marshalling co-ordinator MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT reveals: “Immediately after the race I had several comments from the riders on how safe they felt – and they couldn’t get enough of the white board.” Nice work, fellas! The Dyna-marvellous moto duo put in a sterling performance keeping track of the time gaps during the 85-mile event after the full field of E/1/2 riders split to pieces on the challenging Staplefields course. The regional ‘A’ event was won by Rob Hurd of Chocalatier Isabelle/Felt Bicycles, who left with £200 in prize money and a bottle of bubbly courtesy of London Dynamo. Enjoy, buddy! Feisty IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE managed to nab a bit of glory for Dynamo by finishing in the points with 14th place… http://tinyurl.com/s5l4r …but the real heroes of the day were race helpers ALEX ‘BUSTED’ BASTIN, PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES, PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS, KIMBERLEY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF, PETA McSHARRY, NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, JUSTIN ‘THAT’S HIM!’ SIMS, WARWICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE, RUSSELL TURNER and SAM ‘EPIC’ WOODHOUSE, plus, of course, David, Gordon and Martin. Well done, everyone! Their efforts were even described as “excellent” by Dynamo turncoat Guy Andrews – and the irascible Rapha vet doesn’t use that word every day. But we can’t bask in the glow of praise for ever – the next news item has just chipped off the front, so we’d better get the stopwatch out as our trusty moto man takes us zooming ahead. Here comes the first time gap…

RUBBISH EXCUSE
+++ Paine blames bin for denying him Palace top spot +++
Nothing in the typical racing cyclist’s repertoire is as valuable as a list of handy excuses – and crit killer IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE has pulled out a cracker to explain why he didn’t win the E/1/2 race at Crystal Palace on Tuesday. In a purely unintentional yet characteristic move, Columbian Diego Garavito drifted to the right on the finishing straight as the first cat fireball began to accelerate past him. Ian says: “As all Palace regulars know, on the right hand side with around 120 metres to go there is a solid-looking litter bin, so squeezing past on the grass is not really an option.” That meant Ian had to brake hard and go round on the left – but the loss of momentum allowed Paul Mill from Edwardes to get past for the win… http://tinyurl.com/pks57. Coming 2nd is better than nothing, pal! Cyclefit sensation WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE took 9th while his former Covent Garden colleague SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON finished three places behind him – and there was more Dyn-amazing action in the 3/4 event which saw DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER nab 5th after his break of nine held off the pack. With only one place left in the top 10, feisty ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY went hell-for-leather at the bottom of the hill on the final lap – only for cheeky team-mate ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE to pass him on the final corner and snatch the only point left from the bottom of the BCF bucket. Get in there! Amazingly, puffed-out Andrew had been riding tempo on the front earlier on as part of his usual domestique duties for Rob after the hirsute hero got into one of his trademark early breaks – so the long-haired lad has nothing to complain about!

KIPPS’ TRIP
+++ Dynamate does end-to-ender +++
Finally, DYNAMITE! would like to point its readership in the direction of JOHN KIPPS’ blog, in which he details his adventures during his recent epic solo journey from Land’s End to John O’Groats in Dynamo livery. Click here… http://tinyurl.com/j8k2s …to find out how he set a brisk pace to Bristol and pressed on through Preston’s heavy traffic – only to consider scotching it in Scotland when his inflamed Achilles tendon left him feeling done in at Dumfries. But he ploughed on to his goal, fuelled by sheer determination and hearty roadside cafe breakfasts. It will make you look at Little Chefs in a whole new light!

SCRAWL OVER
The pack have caught the break, which means our services as official time checker are no longer required. Always remember that this publication is like a portable blackboard and it would be nothing without you, our trusty, dusty chalk. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘INDECIPHERABLE SCRAWL’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the yellow motorbike goes back in the garage, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and Michel Bationo’s yellow helmet.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #111, 04.08.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 26C max, wind NW 5mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 26C max, wind W 7mph +++
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SWEET CHILD OF ‘MO
+++ Stegers rocks out on eve of race +++
Charismatic yet reclusive, constantly rumoured to be on the verge of making a comeback, TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY could be described as Dynamo’s very own version of Axl Rose, who has hidden himself away in numerous recording studios since 1996 trying to complete the recording of his masterpiece. It was around the same time that the cycling scene bade farewell to Tony – and his rock ‘n’ roll return to racing at the end of last April was thwarted by the squares of the Surrey League declaring the results of the Norwood Hill 3rd cat event null and void due to supposedly dangerous riding. He finished 4th as well! But like the tenacious Guns N’ Roses frontman, the Hammersmith hard nut showed he had a lot of Patience and was knock, knock Knockin’ On Hillingdon’s Door first thing on Sunday morning to take part in the National Masters 2/3/4 support race. Welcome back To The Jungle, pal! Also on the starting line was hard-livin’ youngster JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS, who was pumping his fist in the air until 1.30am as GNR belted out their hits at Wembley Arena – and mere hours after getting the Nightrain home, the knackered rocker proved he was One In A Million by shooting out of the bunch in the dying moments of the race to claim 8th. Now that’s what we call an Appetite For self-Destruction! With two groups containing a total of seven riders ahead of Joe, Tony put in a Dyna-massive effort to secure 2nd in the sprint, thereby nabbing the last place in the top 10 and securing his first point of the season… http://tinyurl.com/gchjd. Confident Tony insists: “That elusive elite licence is only months away.” That’s what Axl said about his as-yet-unreleased album in 2002! With so much racing going on, this edition of your favourite bandana-wearing, down-and-dirty Dynamatic update is going to be an epic of November Rain proportions, so let’s perch the top hat on our mess of curly hair, allow the cigarette to droop from our bottom lip and prepare to Slash our way through the week’s news. Here comes the 10-minute guitar solo…

SECOND ALPINGS
+++ Spies returns for eight-day MTB race +++
He’s done it again! For the second year running, knobbly-tyred nutcase STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES has covered 400 off-road miles through Austria, Germany, Switzerland and Italy to complete the epic eight-stage Transalp challenge, which finished on July 22nd… http://tinyurl.com/gjco6. The Bupa trooper and partner in grime Shawn Blakey were in the top 50 before Stu was forced to ride alone for the final two days after his pal came down with a serious case of dodgy guts. Nasty! With their two-man team dramatically halved, the stern German organisers refused to give the Mad Engine men an official position on the final GC – but DYNAMITE! can reveal Stu came 170th on the list of 580 individual finishers. Well done, fella! Having tackled the Alps and the Dolomites, intrepid Spies plans on heading to the jungle for Costa Rica’s La Ruta in November… http://tinyurl.com/ka6re. He enthuses: “I just know the other off-road ‘Mos will be keen.” Don’t bank on it, pal!

THREES’ FAME
+++ Trio of 3rd cat Dynamates in Palace top 10 +++
After many weeks of being overshadowed by the E/1/2 race, the 3rd cat ‘Mos got to enjoy their best Crystal Palace result of the season so far with no less than three top 10 places on Tuesday. Nice one, fellas! Soon after shooting away with five laps to go, plucky DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER found himself joined by a quintet which included JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY and ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE – but sensing the danger of four mighty ‘Mos in a break, the pack sensibly closed down the gap. Undeterred, Joe attacked again and stayed away for one and a half laps of the kilometre-long circuit before blowing up by leading everyone up the climb. Bad luck, buddy! Andrew reveals: “Quentin Tring from Brixton Cycles, who is on flying form, led out a long line of us in the the finishing straight, making a nice easy job for the judges.” How kind of him! David finished 2nd, Andrew was 4th and Rob nabbed the No.9 spot… http://tinyurl.com/lfwbu. We’ll be expecting this level of success every week from now on, chaps!

FOURS’ COMPANY
+++ ‘Mo teams become rivals at team time trial +++
It’s unusual to find any Dyn-animosity between Dynamates – but the editorial team detected a note of rancour in STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES’ account of the Surrey League 4-up Team Time Trial Championship which saw all of Dynamo’s three well-drilled units finish in the top third of the 21-squad race. Mounted on PIERS ‘PRESSURE’ STANSFIELD’s blinging Planet X TT machine, the usually affable Saffa rode the 35.5-mile course with fellow 2nd cats GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY, GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN and DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE to finish 20secs down on VC Meudon’s fastest time of 1:17:48. The ‘B’ team’s efforts were enough to secure an impressive 3rd place – but the ‘C’ squad came 2nd, prompting fuming Stu to point out to them that his foursome had to contend with a car pulling out into their path. “That’s half a minute right there,” he whinged, vowing: “Next time, buddies!” Even-handed DYNAMITE! feels compelled to note that 30 seconds wouldn’t have made any difference as Stu’s crew finished 1:38 behind the winning time, making them 1:17 slower than the ‘C’ guys who averaged an incredible 27mph. Sorry, fellas! Meanwhile, first cat fireball RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS, who rode with IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE in the 2nd-placed team, reveals that GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL “whined like a baby” on the starting line about how hard it was going to be. He’d probably just realised that it wasn’t the sort of 4-up that a Premiership footballer might enjoy in a hotel room with three of his team-mates and a quartet of glamour models! Nevertheless, the pervy powerhouse turned out to be super-strong, with Richard readily admitting: “It was a bloody nightmare holding onto his wheel in the last few miles.” The pace was so high that TT master PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN was forced to drop off – and Rich adds: “I was gutted for him. He was riding really strongly and I’m certain we would have won with him.” There’s always next year, pal! At least Paul made it to the start of the race on the Kirdfold/Alfold circuit, unlike SIMON ‘RIGHT REVEREND’ WRIGHT whose back wheel collapsed after a spoke buckled, leaving JASON ‘B.A.’ BARAN, DAVID ‘HANNIBAL’ GARDENER and ADAM ‘FACE’ STONE to soldier on as the ‘A’ team. That was one plan that didn’t quite come together! Nevertheless, the trio still managed to finish 7th… http://tinyurl.com/zjhmy …and despite riding normal road bikes, they passed their four-minute team who were all on TT machines. Bet that made the poor buggers feel good about getting caught!

…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ Fully-recovered RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS avoids getting into another crash and takes 9th at the Southern Counties Cycling Union Championship in Edenbridge, Kent on Sunday… http://tinyurl.com/oscwd +++ STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES 3rd in Masters category at last Wednesday’s Beastway… http://tinyurl.com/h8x2z …giving him 2nd overall for the series +++ For the third time in four weeks, IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE finishes 2nd at Palace’s E/1/2 race… http://tinyurl.com/lfwbu …while DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE bags 6th and GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN takes 9th +++

WE’RE GUNNER GO
The grinding, high-decibel riffs have probably brought you to your sha-na-na-na-na-na-knees, which means it’s time to end the show before we have one of our notorious on-stage bust-ups. Always remember we are a Duff McKagan and we would be nothing without you, our cymbal-smashing Steven Adler. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘IZZY’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we wonder where do we go, where do we go now, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a bootleg copy of Chinese Democracy.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #112, 11.08.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, light showers, 21C max, wind N 13mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 23C max, wind NW 17mph +++
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HAPPY COUPLES
+++ Three duos’ joy at team time trial +++
Over the years, Mrs Dynamite has come to learn that putting in the hours is the only way to develop a lasting relationship, which is why the first lady of the newsletter has let DYNAMITE! spend so much time in the hills of Surrey cultivating a bond with its much-loved bike – and there were blissful Dyna-marriages of a different kind this week when six ‘Mos paired up for the GS Stella/Surrey League two-up time trial. The 26-mile event on the Staplefield circuit saw GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY and STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES take 3rd with 1:04:04 while RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON teamed up with DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE to post a time of 1:03:02, putting them in the No.2 spot – but it was TT master PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL who romped home in 1st place with 1:02:42… http://tinyurl.com/hddyh. Now that’s what we call a clean sweep! Paul also came 1st at the Hounslow Wheelers 9.5-mile TT in Chertsey last Thursday… http://tinyurl.com/rbcwb …but he admits to being pulled along during Saturday’s team competition by his twin-piston powerhouse partner. The Kingston killer adds: “We almost divorced on the first lap but after some counselling we’ll be back on Saturday for the second two-up.” That’s the spirit! Sadly, not every Dynamate has found their perfect match – so come with us now to a familiar corner of south-east London to discover how a certain crit king seems destined to be always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Here comes the trouble and strife…

THAT’S TWO, TWO, TWO, TWO BAD
+++ Yet another 2nd place at Palace for frustrated Paine +++
It’s happened again, Dynamates! For the fourth time in five weeks, IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE took the No.2 spot in the E/1/2 race at Crystal Palace… http://tinyurl.com/nmm3n …prompting 10th-placed STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES to quip on the Dynamo forum that “second is first loser”… http://tinyurl.com/rlywc. The cheeky sod! This publication feels duty-bound to point out to “ninth loser” Stu that most of the break was flagging as Ian whizzed past Paul Mill in the dying moments of the race, relegating the Edwardes Cycles rider to 3rd – and Dynamo’s chunder boy would have caught winner Matt Seaton if the line had been just a few feet further away. Never mind – you’ve still got three more chances to bag that elusive top spot, pal! Honourable mention must go to SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON for coming off on the hairpin – a feat he has now managed to pull off twice in seven weeks. Ian reveals: “Full credit to him – he got up, chased, got back on and eventually came 8th. Having missed the first lap of the race due to arriving late, he probably felt taking another one out for a fall would be taking the pee a little.” The gurning mechanic was probably more motivated to chase by the possibility of getting another pained facial expression pictured on londoncyclesport.com! Sam, incidentally, has put out a plea on the above link to the forum for marshals at Tuesday’s race – and you can volunteer by sending a Dyna-mail to the address in the “from” field of this message. We’ll pass them all on to TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES – Dynamo’s official ambassador to Palace!

A BUNCH OF FIVES
+++ Jeffroy and Woodhouse score a total of three 5th places +++
Staying at Palace for a moment longer, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY stayed ahead of two crashes on the final lap of the Dulwich Paragon-dominated 3/4 race to take 5th. Nice one! Two days earlier, the hirsute hero returned to South Wales for the Gateway To The Beacons 3/4 race, which included part of the Dragon Ride route. Regular readers will remember that the long-haired lad spectacularly finished 2nd among the 1500 competitors at the Welsh sportive in June – and he put on a valley good show once again by taking 5th in Sunday’s 44-mile race… http://tinyurl.com/qc7jt. On-form Rob recommends the event to “anyone who fancies a bit more climbing than your average Surrey League race” and adds: “There was a surprisingly good London turnout for a race in South Wales. Apart from fellow ‘Mo ALEX ARAUJO and I, there were riders from Kingston Wheelers, Norwood Paragon, VC Meudon and Finsbury Park.” So there’s no excuse for 3rd and 4th cat Dynamates failing to head down the M4 in 2007! And as Rob battled away on the Welsh climbs, sportive co-ordinator SAM ‘EPIC’ WOODHOUSE powered across the pan-flat Dunsfold aerodrome course to earn his best-ever result – but the officials cruelly omitted his name from the No.5 spot on the 4th cat results sheet… http://tinyurl.com/lexga. The swine!

WED AND BURIED
We’ve walked you down the aisle of news once again, which means there’s just time to thank everyone who contributed to this issue before we fling the bouquet. Always remember that we are something old and we would be nothing without you, our something new. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BORROWED AND BLUE’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we prepare to renew our vows next week with our 250 dedicated readers, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a wedding ring.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #113, 18.07.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, light showers, 22C max, wind SW 13mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 22C max, wind W 10mph +++
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BACK WITH A BANG
+++ Ward returns with social networking site +++
More than 18 months ago, the mighty organ that you are metaphorically holding in your hands changed its name from the London Dynamo Newsletter to DYNAMITE! chiefly as a means of positioning itself as the nation’s official Dynamatic news service before inferior publications were launched to muscle in on the Dyna-market. Thankfully, rival publishers didn’t bother copying this pun-based periodical – but we were intrigued to learn that a Dynamo-related website with a faint echo of our own detonative Dyna-moniker has emerged this week, run by none other than International Man Of Leisure CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD. Now we know what he’s been doing with all that time on his hands! The marketing guru has come up with a Myspace for sport lovers called Tired and Tested, or T&T as the site appears to refer to itself. With a name like that, its popularity will explode in no time! The social networking service offers users their own webpage, including weblogs, photos and videos. Founder Chris has already posted a blog of his experiences during the eight-day Transalp challenge with KEITH WHITWELL, which saw the two-man ‘Mo team finish 139th in the men’s section. Ward, who witnessed STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES speeding away into the distance on most days, reveals: “It was by far and away the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m happy that we finished in the top half.” Check out http://www.tiredandtested.com for the full, unexpurgated blogathon – but before you do, let’s head to a corner of Surrey to find out how a bunch of drenched Dynamates coped with the wettest day of racing in recent memory. Get ready to whip out your waterproofs…

YOU POUR THINGS
+++ Drenching depletes field at Rusper +++
Big girl’s blouse CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL fled to his N-reg Clio when the heavens opened, unlucky ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY punctured before DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER did the same, and determined ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONG faded in the final stretch – which meant towering sprinter HUW ‘AITCH’ WATKINS was forced to reclaim a scrap of Dynamo dignity by taking 8th at the rain-drenched 3rd cat race in Rusper on Sunday… http://tinyurl.com/f966v. Someone give that man a towel! More than half the field dropped off the back or abandoned the 53-mile Surrey League fixture as the diluvial conditions brought out a rash of punctures on the 9.4-mile circuit – and the heavy rain, which also severely reduced visibility, didn’t stop until the second lap of the 2/3 event later that day. The afternoon’s 61-mile race saw a decisive six-man break emerge with around one-and-a-half laps to go – but despite being caught napping and making foiled attempts to get away earlier on, the four ‘Mos who made it to the line all managed to place in the regional A race. Nice one, fellas! Affable Saffa STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES came 15th, MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT was 13th, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY took 11th and JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS nailed 8th… http://tinyurl.com/l5sdw …but it was at Palace two days later that Joe really shone. Head to the next item for details!

CHEEK AND CHEERFUL
+++ Brazen tactics reap joy for Stegers at Palace +++
You rascal! Naughty JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS lived up to his Dyna-moniker at Crystal Palace this week when he got into the decisive break before easing up to save energy for an attack to the finish – a sneaky tactic that gave him victory in the 3/4 race. Well done, fella! The Dyna-magic began when DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER made a lone attempt to reach Kevin Knox of Dulwich Paragon, who had soloed off the front. Joe dragged Brixton Cycles’ Quentin Tring to his Dynamo team-mate before reaching Knox, gradually gaining time in the break as ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY and ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE blocked the field. Stegers reveals: “I kicked hard with two-and-a-half laps to go – a bit too well considering that I hadn’t been contributing for a few kilometres – and held it comfortably to the line. My breakaway companions were pretty gracious at the finish considering how I rode.” Just watch out for them next week, buddy! Joe’s three other Dynamates also ended up in the top 10, with David taking 4th, Andrew 6th and Rob 8th. And there was more Dynamatic action in the E/1/2 race with GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL getting his best-ever Palace result by chipping off the bunch on the final lap to nab 2nd – the same position his pal IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE has been getting practically every week for the past month-and-a-bit. Elite powerhouse TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, who scored his first points since returning from Australia by nabbing 5th place, wonders: “Which one of them will take 2nd next week? I might even have a go myself – 1st is so last year.” Gentlemen, the gauntlet has been thrown!

CAN YEW HELP?
+++ Support needed for SERRL race +++
It wasn’t just a strong showing on the results sheets that marked Tuesday out as a special night for Dynamo – because it was also the club’s turn to marshal. Many members came down to help, so on behalf of Palace ambassador TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES, this publication would like to thank CHARLIE and TOBY BLACKMAN, DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER, WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, KIMBERLEY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF, STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES, JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS and ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE for donning a tabard either during the junior races, the senior events or, in some cases, both. Hopefully their efforts in SE19 will inspire others to come along and offer race support on Sunday 24th September when Dynamo will be hosting the last SERRL event of the season. The race is on the Frant circuit with the HQ at the delightfully-named Bells Yew Green Hall…  http://tinyurl.com/h5lcc. Committee member MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT says: “We need four cars, 11 people, plus, of course, tea and cakes. Motos with timegaps would be superb as they went down well last time.” Send a Dyna-mail to **************@londondynamo.co.uk if you can lend a hand. Let’s see if anyone can handle a whiteboard and marker pen with as much aplomb as prince of the pillion DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE!

BLOG OFF
Our weekly “weblog” has come to an end, which means there’s just time to thank everyone who contributed to this entry before we log off. Always remember that we are as rambling as the libellous thread about Omega bikes which was recently removed from the Cycling Plus forum, and we would be nothing without you, our outspoken posters. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘DEAR DIARY’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as news reaches us that GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL has confused the term “blogger” for “dogger” by “interfacing” with his PC in a public place, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a plasticbag.org.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team

————————————————————–
DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #114, 25.08.06
————————————————————————–
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 21C max, wind W 5mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 22C max, wind W 6mph +++
————————————————————————–

TONE BROKE
+++ Car troubles throw a spanner in Smedley’s race joy +++
Throughout winter, spring summer or fall, Dynamates know that all they have to do is call, and we’ll be there, yes we will, to trumpet your achievements in a reasonably amusing manner every Friday morning. Sadly, that is the absolute limit of this otherwise dependable publication’s abilities, which is why we did a runner when TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY’s car died on the busy Fulham Palace Road on Sunday. The chirpy Mancunian, who ended his 10-year racing hiatus this season, had been grinning even more broadly than usual after taking 3rd at the well-attended 3/4 race held by Finchley RT… http://tinyurl.com/qo9j5 …and with characteristic northern generosity, he bought DYNAMITE! a cup of coffee in the clubhouse before offering us a lift back from Hillingdon, which we happily accepted. Sadly, Tony’s two-year-old black Golf mysteriously stalled amid heavy traffic in Hammersmith a mere five minutes from his flat – and the RAC ended up taking three hours to tow the poor lad home. At least you got there in the end, pal! Thankfully, his £10 winnings will help to cover a small part of the repair bill – and he will no doubt reflect in the coming weeks that it is better to ride to crits in the capital like the rest of his club chums. But rather than dwell on his contravention of an unwritten Dynamo rule, let us now don our orange overalls and shine the torch on two good little runners who didn’t break down on their recent 350-mile journey. It’s time to read ’em and winch…

SCOTS MISSED
+++ Two ‘Mos go to great lengths to avoid arts festival +++
Intrepid Sassenachs PETER ‘SOCKS’ GOODCHILD and HARRY ‘PILLS’ POWELL fled from the Edinburgh festival on their bikes at 7am last Saturday – and they didn’t stop until they reached London. That’s quite an effort to avoid a bunch of stand-up comics and street performers! The two ‘Mos made the 463-mile journey with a couple of pals and they all fell asleep while riding at some point on the arduous 34-hour journey. Harry reveals that “things got a bit hazy” around York, which marked the halfway point of the expedition, adding: “By the time the sun had come up we had covered 300 miles and I had gone a bit weird, or so I am told. Our speed had fallen away and progress was a bit pathetic. None of us felt like eating, drinking, talking or anything much, really.” Oh dear! The gentle hills of Aylesbury almost prompted the poor lad to throw in the towel, even though they only had 40 miles to go – but after popping a caffeine-packed Pro Plus pill, the 33-year-old was back in the land of the living. He says: “It did the trick. The great disappointment of the final stretch was the lack of hills. I was up for a scrap but the English countryside had melted away in the face of my challenge, so we shot through the Chilterns and rolled into town four hours late and sore. It wasn’t much fun but it was a bit different.” At this point we’d expect some sort of reasonably uplifting pay-off, and Harry has duly obliged by reporting that his bottom is now “OK” despite the fact that he has lost the feeling in both hands. So that’s all right, then!

CORNER STROP
+++ Great results at Palace fail to silence whingers +++
The normally mild-mannered TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT pointed out to DYNAMITE! this week that cycling has its fair share of “miserable buggers” – a fact evinced by the now-infamous thread on londoncyclesport.com which makes numerous fanciful claims about the standard of Dynamates’ bike handling… http://tinyurl.com/q7njx. The Dyna-mighty presence of the blue, black and orange army in the top 10 of both Crystal Palace races on Tuesday has failed to quell the unwarranted criticism… http://tinyurl.com/lh79l …although one question remains: if Tom and IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE’s cornering really is as poor as some of the bad-tempered forum-dwellers’ spelling and grammar, then how on earth can the Dynamo duo do so well on what is probably the most technical circuit in the country? That, readers, is our final word on the matter! In any case, it was an unnamed Dulwich Paragon rider who won the CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD gong for questionable handling by banging into ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE during the sprint in the fast-paced 25-lap 3/4 race – a mishap which caused the silver-helmeted ‘Mo to lose a couple of places and earned the DP rider a spot of road rash. ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY finished 9th, one place behind Andrew, and breakaway boy DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER came 5th – but it was JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS who bagged the result of the night by coming a close 2nd to “Corridori Kid” Eric Rowsell, which earned Joe enough points to get a 2nd cat licence. Westminster crit, here he comes! In the E1/2 race, Ian got in a successful move and was soon joined by Tom, who admits: “I wasn’t feeling great so I couldn’t compliment Ian’s attacks.” But the break still finished around a minute ahead of the pack, with Ian taking 3rd, Tom 4th and SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON bagging 9th place overall in the bunch sprint… http://tinyurl.com/md6jf. Roll on next week’s final Palace of the season!

IN THE PINK
+++ Gardener lands impressive result at historic final race +++
Any 3rd cat who finishes 10th in a bunch sprint behind PCA’s Tony Gibb deserves a tip of the hat, so it is with a hearty “chapeau” that DYNAMITE! highlights DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER’s impressive achievement at the very last Eastway Supporters League race last Thursday… http://tinyurl.com/qg78z. Dave reveals: “Most of the field was either dropped or lapped and we were getting up to 36mph along the back straight. It’s certainly the result I’m most satisfied with.” Well done, pal!

SNOOZE THAT GUY?
+++ Sleepy Kenneway misses break at SERRL race +++
Finally, our commiserations to GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY who missed the decisive 10-man break in Rolvenden, Kent on Sunday and had to endure Rapha ranter Guy Andrews bellowing at the bunch for the remainder of the 56-mile 1/2/3 race. Gordon says of the breakaway: “Myself, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES were caught napping in the middle of the bunch. Actually, I was half asleep – it was so early. But I won the bunch sprint for 11th, so I was very happy with that.” If only the race organisers could have extended the results sheet by one place… http://tinyurl.com/za6sd …so that Gordon could get a bit of glory!

TOWED OFF
The AA man has hitched our motor to the back of his truck, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone for their contributions this week before we get towed away. Always remember that we are an old jalopy and we would be nothing without you, our fifth emergency service. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘CAN’T START HER UP’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a disheartening “clank” signals the truck pulling away with only our front bumper attached to its hook, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and roadside relay membership with home start.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

————————————————————–
DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #115, 01.09.06
————————————————————————–
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, light rain, 22C max, wind SW 13mph; Sun, heavy rain, 19C max, wind SW 10mph +++
————————————————————————–

GINGER WINNER
+++ Stage win and top 5 place in the GC for 3-Day hero Mason +++
After spending years overshadowed by their blonde and brunette counterparts, the ginger cycling community was recently dealt another blow when its leading light ran into a spot of bother with a drugs test following his Tour de France victory – but amazingly, a new copper-topped hero has emerged to inspire as much awe as gnomic Mennonite Floyd Landis or that Scouser out of Girls Aloud. Step forward RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON, who won the 2nd stage of the Cycles Dauphin 3-Day race in Surrey and grabbed the No.2 spot on the final stage, which was enough to propel him into the top 5 on the final general classification. And the only substances he took were Powerbars! Venturing out to Box Hill on Friday evening, the terracotta titan began his journey to greatness on the annual 1.5-mile time trial, finishing 20secs down on the fastest time posted by Andrew Bye of Kingston Wheelers. The ginger spiced up the next day’s 70-mile road stage on the gently rolling Dunsfold course when he bridged across to a two-man breakaway, prompting ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY to join him along with five others including a team-mate of yellow jersey Bye who was on a sit-in brief. Rich reveals: “It was like the Parkride – through and off, but for seven laps at a fantastic speed!” Despite the Kingston fellas chasing hard, the octet managed to hold off the pack to the line with a gap of 25secs. Rich says the slight ascent to the off-course finish was “perfect” for him, and he managed to get around everyone to win his first race as a 2nd cat. Nice one! Sunday’s time trial in Ewhurst showed a slight dip in performance, with the knackered New Zealander shifting from 3rd to 10th on the GC after losing 1:22 to winner Ian O’Hara of Citihub, who began the final stage as leader by posting a time of 25:26 on the 11.5-mile course. But the fast-recovering redhead was back with a vengeance for the last stage later that afternoon, dragging three riders as he bridged across to RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and another competitor before the six-man group expanded to seven by catching solo breakaway boy Shannon Durrant of Pearson Cycles. On the tense last lap, the crafty Kiwi tucked himself behind selfless Rusty who hauled him through a headwind past the race HQ before dropping back as the 2km ascent to the finish on Leith Hill began. What a killer! Rich was now riding on his own, aware that every second was vital. He reveals: “In a world of pain, I passed the 1km to go sign with nobody in sight. Then car two passed me – not a good sign. Somebody wasn’t far off. With 500m to go I could see Andrew Bye gaining on me quickly. I lifted the pace as much as I was able, knowing that if I got to the line with him I could win the sprint – but I ran out of steam up the final ramp and let him go. He did the same to me under more or less identical circumstances in the 5-Day!” Even so, Rich’s second podium place of the weekend was enough to give him 5th overall on the final GC… http://tinyurl.com/pefot …but with no fewer than 11 other Dynamates in the race, there was even more Dynamatic action going on than usual – so come with us as we whiz through what Rich’s chums got up to in the prestigious 2/3 Surrey League event. Here comes a whole lot ‘Mo…

FAST AND FURIOUS
+++ Hats off to ‘Mos who finished super-fast stage race +++
This year’s 3-day competitors completed the 143-mile event almost 9mins quicker than last year, so the DYNAMITE! editorial team would like to give a hearty “chapeau!” to PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY, DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDNER, JOE ‘THE OTHER’ HEMMANT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS, DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE, ANDY ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE, MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON, and, of course, RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON for being among the 55 finishers. Well done, fellas! Sam was the second-highest ‘Mo on the GC, finishing 9th thanks to a great time trial on Sunday and a strong ride throughout, while Rob reaped the benefits of being Rich’s fellow breakaway partner by taking 6th on stage 2. Mr Stegers took 10th on the Box Hill time trial and also managed to post a respectable time on the second TT, despite going off-course – which is more than can be said of Oxford University’s Paul Tucker, who dropped from 1st to 50th after getting lost. But the award for the most determined ride of the weekend must go to David G, who carried on after smashing his helmet, buckling his wheel and incurring a spot of road rash as the result of a crash in the bunch on stage 2. We won’t even mention his Oliver Reid-sized hangover!

PARTIAL FOR MARSHALS
+++ Garratt’s keen on getting helpers for SERRL race ++++
With less than a month to go before the final SERRL event of the season, this publication is taking the opportunity to remind everyone that MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT is looking for a few kind Dyna-members to lend a hand for the race on the Frant circuit in Kent… http://tinyurl.com/h5lcc. The lanky support co-ordinator is after four drivers, 11 marshals, motorbike marshals and people to provide refreshments – so send a Dyna-mail to **************@londondynamo.co.uk if you can help on Sunday 24th September. Martin says: “The more the merrier – and we’ll be doing lunch at the pub after the race.” That can’t be bad!

‘ROTTA ROUT
+++ Double Dynamo victory at Palace on Cyclefit steeds
The final Crystal Palace fixture of the season ended in fine style with TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT winning the E/1/2 race and DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDNER taking 1st place in the 3/4 event, which also saw ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE bagging 7th in the mass sprint… http://tinyurl.com/e5jw5. Great stuff, fellas! Dynamo’s sponsors will be pleased to note that both victories were achieved on Serottas, with Tom repeatedly attacking on his Concours to soften up Rapha’s Brett Perez for the sprint after the fastman and IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE were caught by the bunch. The ever-determined Ian and SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON also ganged up on the black-clad ball of muscle before he was pipped into 2nd place by Tom. Sam finished 4th, Ian came 6th, and JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS bagged 10th in his first E/1/2 Palace race this year – but sadly GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL made an exit by going cross country on the damp bottom corner, admitting later: “I was a victim of my own incompetence.” Happens to the best of us, pal! Having pocketed the night’s biggest prizes, the club showed it is better to give than receive by handing out 10 bottles of plonk to the tireless race organisers as a gesture of thanks for putting on some great racing throughout the season. Teary-eyed Tom asks: “How many days until the first race next year?”

QUIET SUNDAY
+++ Forum shutting down to make way for new version ++++
Finally, chief technician RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT has popped a note under the door of our famous soundproof bunker warning that the Dynamo forum will be switched off on Sunday. But fear not – a new, slicker version will be up and running on Monday. Registered members should still be able to use their existing logins. What a relief!

RED EVERY WORD
We hope this fun-packed edition has gingered up your Friday – but please remember that we are an irritating Chris Evans and we would be nothing without you, our soulful Mick Hucknall. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘RED ADAIR’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we reach for the titian hair dye, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an Elizabeth I wig.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

————————————————————–
DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #116, 08.09.06
————————————————————————–
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/z5lfx +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 21C max, wind E 12mph; Sun, sunny, 24C max, wind E 12mph +++
————————————————————————–

FERRY LUCKY
+++ Powdrill helps us out of a pickle +++
Activating the chattering DYNAMITE! ticker tape machine is a much-loved ritual in our famous soundproof bunker, so it was a little disappointing that the usual reams of brilliant results were strangely unforthcoming this week. No ‘Mos were in the points at the historic final Rumble at Eastway, and over at Westminster on Sunday, WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE had to settle for 12th place at the E/1/2 Bob Chicken GP after PCA’s Malcolm Elliot got away in the decisive break, thus thwarting the Cyclefit technician’s hopes of challenging the eventual winner for the Elite Circuit Series title… http://tinyurl.com/okuf2. Damn it all! Over in the flatlands of Norfolk, towering HUW ‘AITCH’ WATKINS bagged a massive 17 points for his 3rd place in VC Baracchi’s 2/3/4 Regional ‘A’ event… http://tinyurl.com/zu5x6 …but the likelihood of reporting this nugget as “news” was greatly undermined by the fact that the powerhouse sprinter alerted us to the result a week late as he initially sent his Dyna-mail to the wrong address. Damn with a side order of damn! In fact, the only other result from the weekend was provided by ANDREW ‘COALFACE’ STRONGE, who nabbed 8th at the 3rd cat South Circuit League race at Thruxton motor circuit in Andover, Hants… http://tinyurl.com/pfyku. So with the prospect of a scant newsletter looming, this publication set out for the Surrey Hills on Monday morning, hoping to figure a way out of the imminent pickle during the five-hour ride. And there, stuck in the slow-moving traffic just a stone’s throw from Dynamo Towers, was the answer to the problem! Beaming Beemer driver GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL flagged us down on Fulham Palace Road to reveal he had just returned from France on the ferry with a ship-shape result under his belt – so come with us as we haul up the anchor and set sail for triumph. It’s time trial ahoy!

NORMAND WHIZZ DONE
+++ Quick trip to France reaps podium finish for duo +++
Dozens of Dyna-members lined the barriers in the centre of town on Sunday to catch the final stage of the Tour of Britain – but masochistic ‘Mos PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL managed to avoid the unusually warm whether by popping over to Marigny in Normandy for a thorough drenching in the 25th edition of the prestigious Duo Normand two-man time trial… http://tinyurl.com/pvrjl. Fierce crosswinds combined with slippery roads caused a number of nasty crashes, yet the challenging conditions were unable stop the Duo-mos from hairing around the undulating 54km course in 1:19:50 to take 2nd place, finishing a mere 42 seconds behind winners Lee Smith and Adrian Goatley of Agiskoviner. Professional outfits such as Acqua Sapone and AG2R were among the 300 teams competing, so it’s worth noting that London Dynamo’s TT masters finished an astonishing 15th overall. Nice work, fellas! Their superb result came as a relief to Guy, who arrived at the start with a Litespeed Blade on loan from JOE ‘CHEEKY BEGGAR’ STEGERS’ dad, a pair of £2,000 wheels lent by former Dynamo president Guy Andrews, and his very own bag of nerves. In contrast to calm and collected Callinan, the lanky property broker whined before the start then descended like a girl – but after catching their two-minute men from GS Stella at the 45-minute mark, Powdrill upped the pace to the line, ripping the legs out of his cursing team-mate. Pardon his French, Monsieurs!

TESTING ‘TESTED’
+++ Trial run for photos on new site +++
Paul and Guy’s Normandy adventure is told in pictorial form in the DYNAMITE! photo album… http://tinyurl.com/z5lfx …which the editorial team has shifted to CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD’s excellent new sports networking site Tired and Tested for a trial period. Sadly, the image of knackered TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY about to pass out in a Mallorcan cafe disappeared along with all the other much-loved pics from the past eight months when the Dynamo forum was revamped on Sunday – but if you lot like the look of the gallery’s temporary home, then we might be persuaded to dig out all the old photos and add some new ones to make it a permanent fixture. Or sign up here for free… http://www.tiredandtested.com/ …and get your own!

A LOT ‘MO
+++ Kent’s French crits +++
Finally, it seems that Guy and Paul haven’t been the only ‘Mos crossing the Channel recently. Hanwell superteacher JIM ‘CLARK’ KENT, who returned this week from his mother-in-law’s place in the Lot, took 4th in the Nocturne de Gourdon, 5th in the Nocturne de Souillac and 9th in the Prix des fetes de Peyrignac. He also squeezed in time to do the Cyclosportif de Bourriane, taking 3rd in the male 40-44 category and 30th overall. Magnifique! The 3rd cat pedalling pedagogue reveals: “The nocturns were great fun and really exciting. They are about 75km on a 1 to 5km circuit in the centre of town starting at 9pm. There’s a commentator on the PA plus lots of cafes and bars with loads of people. Quite a few English were shouting for London Dynamo!” The club’s fame is spreading!

SHIPPING OUT
The gangplank has been lifted up, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent stuff in this week before we leave port. Always remember we are the captain of this vessel, but we would be nothing without you, our able-bodied seamen. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BRISTOL FASHION’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as an iceberg looms, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a lifejacket.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

————————————————————–
DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #117, 15.09.06
————————————————————————–
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 21C max, wind N 7mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 20C max, wind NW 5mph +++
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MANE ATTRACTION
+++ Equine trouble for Mason in stage race +++
Many weary riders are reining in their enthusiasm for races as the season reaches its final furlong – but wild, wild horses couldn’t drag ‘Mos away from the last events of the year. Red-headed thoroughbred RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON didn’t even think of stopping when a spooked gee-gee began galloping alongside the pack during the Mid Sussex 1-Day Stage Race… http://tinyurl.com/jyaho …and there was a brief worry that the top 10 finisher would stirrup trouble when he was wrongly awarded a prize by a local dignitary at the close of the chaotic event. So get ready to saddle up and canter through the week’s news as we give you nothing but the hoof. It’s time to trot out the puns…

DRIVEN ROUNDABOUT THE BEND
+++ Madness at Surrey League event +++
Logistically speaking, finishing a two-stage race in the same place it had started may seem little dull – but astonished RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON discovered on Sunday that a touch of Surrey League madness can liven things up immensely. Starting the first of two 30-mile legs as they were meant to go on, the commissaire’s car at the Mid Sussex 1-Day Stage Race managed to lead the competitors in the wrong direction during the neutralised section in Burgess Hill. What a palaver! Later on, the seven-man lead group containing Rich, PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY and Pinarello’s TT star Richard Prebble became a sextet when one rider went the wrong way at a T-junction en route to East Grinstead. The lead car was vital to guide the remaining six riders along the unfamiliar route, which meant there was utter confusion after Prebble got away on a 20 per cent climb a few miles from the line, taking the race official’s vehicle with him. Oh dear! Rich admits: “As we didn’t know the finish at all and missed the signs, we sailed past the final left-hander at 35mph and rode on to East Grinstead. There were six very angry riders shouting and yelling. I decided that we shouldn’t be in the town centre at all, so we backtracked until we eventually found the finish.” Firm but fair Surrey League bigwig Glyn Durrant awarded the hapless half-dozen joint 2nd place, giving them Prebble’s winning time plus 30 seconds. Rich’s fellow Dynamates GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY and RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT took 8th, 9th and 10th respectively after forming a second group. Nice one! The next stage, which involved some long climbs and two laps of the Staplefields course, saw Paul’s attacks thwarted as he tried to break the leading riders’ bid to defend their places at the top of the GC. But any hopes of a more sedate stage than the previous one were scuppered when the pack descended into the finale at 30mph. Rich reveals: “It was bedlam. We were meant to turn right at a roundabout but the lead rider cut around it, navigating it clockwise past a surprised marshal. The entire pack followed him. The same rider more or less came to a halt at the next roundabout in a near-miss with one of the race vehicles.” Good grief! Meanwhile, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY was riding alone to the finish when he was caught by Pearson Cycles’ Shannon Durrant and an Agisko rider who crossed the line first but was disqualified for cutting the last roundabout. For some unexplained reason, Paul also got a DQ – but Dynamo nevertheless dominated the final GC when it eventually appeared, with Rich taking joint 4th, Gordon joint 7th with GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN, and RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT nabbing 9th… http://tinyurl.com/j25ol. The final moment of chaos took place at the awards ceremony when the local mayor gave Rich a medal which should have gone to 3rd-placed Simon Warren from Norwood Paragon. Doh!

TONE ALONE
+++ Smedley scores club’s only placing at Chertsey +++
When it comes to a typical results sheet from MoD, the ample squad of Dynamates who turn up tend to either dominate the top 10 or settle for anonymous mid-field places after being swamped on the long finishing straight. Thankfully, a lone ‘Mo finally bucked the “up there or nowhere” trend on Saturday by taking 4th in the 3rd cat race while the rest of the blue, black and orange army finished out of the points. Well done, TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY! The fun-loving fund manager wasn’t smiling earlier on when Surrey League supremo Keith Butler drove between the 3rd cats and the E/1/2s, thereby neutralising Tony’s race just as he had escaped from the bunch. He was only doing it to keep everyone safe, pal! Sadly, SAM ‘EPIC’ WOODHOUSE didn’t have as much luck on the Chertsey circuit as the mad-for-it Mancunian, even though he had assembled a crack lead-out train for the 4th cat race… http://tinyurl.com/z6dr7. Dynamo’s sportive director, who needs just two points to get his 3rd cat licence, braved the mass sprint to take joint 12th… http://tinyurl.com/guxaf …before hot-footing it to Hillingdon and coming 12th again… http://tinyurl.com/fgw35. Thwarted twice in one day – curses!

THANK YEW
+++ Preparations gather pace for event helpers +++
Race support co-ordinator MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT would like to thank everyone who has agreed to help out at the final SERRL event of the year – and you can still send a Dyna-mail to **************@londondynamo.co.uk if you want to lend a hand on Sunday 24th September. The lanky lad, who will be organising lift shares next week, says that his army of volunteers will need to be at Bells Yew Green village hall for 8.30am. Set the alarm clocks, fellas!

BYTE FOR LUNCH
+++ Beeb show featuring Dynamo on web site +++
Finally, CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD has given us a very, very late item of news. The international man of leisure reveals that he featured on BBC Two’s Working Lunch yesterday to plug his new website http://www.tiredandtested.com – and apparently he appeared in Dynamo kit. Take a look at the Working Lunch website… http://tinyurl.com/zgxfm… and choose Thursday’s edition from the list on the “watch programmes in full” link. It should be there soon, fingers crossed!

…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
Triathlete KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF posts 2nd-fastest bike time and takes 6th in her age group at Saturday’s Vitruvian middle-distance event in Rutland, Leics +++ ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY and DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER finish 5th and 6th respectively at last Saturday’s 3/4 Hitchin Nomads 75th Anniversary Road Race in Old Warden, Herts +++ RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON nabs 15th place at last Saturday’s final ESL meeting at Eastway +++

TURFED OUT
We’ve reached the final jump, which means there’s just time to thank everyone before we get out of the saddle and start feverishly thwacking our steed’s bottom. Always remember that we are a sure bet, but we would be nothing without you, our Paddy Power. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘RED RUM’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the betting slip is torn up and thrown on the floor, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a nose bag.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #118, 22.09.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny intervals, 23C max, wind SE 8mph; Sun, cloudy, 22C max, wind SE 2mph +++
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DON’T GET THE SPEED HUMP
+++ No slowdown for unstoppable ‘Mos +++
Like an electronic traffic sign blinking the warning “Slow Down” in a 30 zone, the scarcity of events remaining on the 2006 BCF events calendar is telling legions of riders that they must soon switch to a more sedate “winter speed” – but a few mile-hungry ‘Mos are still eating up the miles as the road towards the end of the season begins to narrow. Following last weekend’s double disappointment at Hillingdon and Chertsey, Dynamo’s doughty sportive director SAM ‘EPIC’ WOODHOUSE headed to Andover, Hants, aiming to get those elusive two points that would give him a 3rd cat licence – so you can imagine his delight when he bagged six of the blighters by coming 4th at the sun-kissed Thruxton motor circuit, while his 4th cat chum MARK ‘ACTION’ JONES also got a promotion by taking 6th… http://tinyurl.com/gcyqw. Well done, sirs! Meanwhile, over in Beare Green, poor old GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL probably wished there had been some traffic-calming measures at the Surrey League Handicap Championship which saw the large staggered field come together as an oncoming car refused to slow down just 500m from the line. What a mess! Nevertheless, powerhouse sprinter JUSTIN ‘IT’S HIM!’ SIMS braved the hazardous finale to take 6th… http://tinyurl.com/zs3u8 …and after the race, Guy was astonished to see none other than controversial former member Andy ‘Listen Up’ Stevenson sidle up to him in a traffic jam on the A3. The normally chatty 1st cat declined to inform the ex-Sunday ride “organiser”, who was wearing his well-worn Lotto Domo jersey, that he was sitting in the adjacent car. How strange! There was, of course, a notable Dynamate who scored a phenomenal victory in the final race of British Cycling’s most prestigious series – and not even a speed hump near the finish could stop the speedy fella. So come with us now as we rumble across the chevrons and approach our very own lollipop lady Mrs Dynamite, who is brandishing the result from the ticker tape machine. Here comes the raised junction…

FIRST PAST THE BOAST
+++ Win in Warwick for shy and retiring Spence +++
According to gossipy Cyclefit bosses PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL and JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL, their loyal employee WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE loves nothing more than logging on during his lunch break to see how many mentions he has clocked up on the worldwide web. The WC2 wonderboy has even signed up to CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD’s blossoming sports site to spread his name even further… http://tinyurl.com/s6yh3 …and he was able to add another Google hit to his name by humbly starting a thread on the Dynamo forum… http://tinyurl.com/p3s7o …celebrating his stunning win at the Travelwise Warwick Town Centre Criterium on Sunday… http://tinyurl.com/jkled. How modest of him! The final round of the National Elite Circuit Series saw Warrick bridge across to Recycling’s Kristian House, forming the decisive two-man break which, incredibly, managed to lap former Tour of Spain points jersey winner Malcolm Elliott, Science In Sport’s Rob Hayles and the rest of the high-quality E/1/2 field haring around the tricky 1km course. What a spectacle for the town centre crowd lining the barriers! Regular readers may remember that House was out-sprinted by the Covent Garden sensation at the Guildford round of the season-long competition – and he was ruled out of contention this time by his left crank coming loose with three laps to go. Lone Warrick held off the chasing group 20secs behind him and freewheeled across the line, breathing a sigh of relief that he didn’t have to sprint over the sleeping policeman 25 metres from the finish. He won easily without hitting a bump in the road – both literally and metaphorically!

LATE LUNCH
+++ Ward on telly – details of what you may have missed +++
Finally, DYNAMITE! has got ’round to watching CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD’s spot on BBC2’s Working Lunch, which he only mentioned to us as we were about to hit the “send” button for the previous edition of your up-to-the-minute Dynamatic bulletin. Described in last Thursday’s TV report as a “self-confessed running and cycling nut”, the International Man of Leisure was interviewed about his latest venture… http://www.tiredandtested.com …as he jogged across Hammersmith bridge to his office, where he appears to have a full-size poster of himself crossing the line in the Campagnolo Gran Fondo dressed in full Dynamo kit. Now that’s a piece of self-publicity worthy of WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE! The brief shot of Chris’s poster marks the second national television appearance of Dynamo’s famous blue, black and orange livery, but by the time you read this the show is likely to have been removed from the Beeb’s “see it again” broadband feature as it will be more than a week old. You can still give it a try, though, by clicking here… http://tinyurl.com/o3da5 …and choosing the link marked “Thursday 14 September”. Fingers crossed that it’s still there!

SNAPPED UP
The flashing gatso has snapped us exceeding the speed limit, which means there’s just time for us to thank everyone who sent stuff in for this issue before we get the fine in the post. Always remember that we are traffic cop but we would be nothing without you, our pinch points. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘STREET FURNITURE’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we wonder if that new mini-roundabout on Priory Lane will make any difference, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an optical width measure.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

————————————————————–
DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #119, 29.09.06
————————————————————————–
+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, heavy showers, 19C max, wind S 13mph; Sun, heavy showers, 17C max, wind S 16mph +++
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SENFT IN THE CLOWNS
+++ Jester ‘Mo meets Tour joker +++
His ill-fitting square yellow helmet and “garden gate” Omega Alchemy were a source of great Dyna-mirth before he decided to bin them – so you can imagine GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL’s amazement when he met someone at the World Championships in Salzburg who has raised even more laughs than himself. After watching Paolo Bettini soar up the Gschaiderberg on his way to victory, the lanky property broker spotted none other than infamous Tour de France devil Didi Senft waving his trademark trident. It wasn’t long before Guy found himself shaking hands with the wacky 54-year-old German inventor while his girlfriend Clare captured Sunday’s historic meeting for posterity… http://tinyurl.com/s6rc6. As if that wasn’t enough, the couple got an even bigger thrill when they ended up sitting next to Chris Boardman on the plane home. It seems the BBC budget only stretches to a Ryanair flight for minor sports commentators! The stunned duo declined to talk to the British time trialling legend – and on Thursday Guy played it cool again when he saw Boardman’s ITV colleague Paul ‘Un-believable’ Sherwen wandering along Regent Street. The modest 1st cat was probably expecting both men to approach him first and ask for his autograph! In order to prevent DYNAMITE! turning into an excitable star-spotting column, we are now going to turn our attention to the rank-and-file members who did a sterling effort helping out at the final South East Road Race League event while Powdrill sunned himself in Mozart’s hometown. So come with us to the village hall in Bells Yew Green, Kent, for a totally unglamorous yet thoroughly rewarding time. Let’s turn off the celebrity radar…

FRANTS FOR ALL YOUR HELP
+++ Big thank-you to marshals at SERRL event +++
Talk about a Frant-ic search! Race support co-ordinator MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT thought he had mustered enough marshals for the Regional ‘A’ Lamberhurst/Frant event before the SERRL race organisers told him at the last minute that the club also needed to provide an assistant commissaire. Thankfully, DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE stepped into the breach on the day, wearing an official-looking blazer and brandishing a stopwatch. What a relief! Social secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT also looked the part in his very own hi-visibility jacket which blinded youngster TOM ‘JUNIOR’ MACKAY. Lead car driver TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT avoided his worst nightmare by staying on course while KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF looked after the post-race services with massages and enough delicious flapjacks to feed an army. Taking a break from his highly successful season, RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS provided race service assisted by TONY ‘CHUCKLES’ SMEDLEY on a somewhat intermittent radio which only crackled into life on the last lap. Better late than never! The Dyna-management would like to thank all of the above, along with DAVID ‘GOLIATH’ ANDREWS, CRAIG GRUBER, TOBY BLACKMAN, ALEX ‘BALFIE’ BALFOUR, WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER, SIMON ‘NOEL’ EDMONDS, CHARLOTTE ‘SHEENA’ EASTON and ALEX ‘GAWP’ MURRAY for taking charge with such aplomb at Dynamo’s last support event of the season. The race organisers were so impressed with their efforts that the club has been invited to take part in a quiz night to raise money for some transponders. Tables for eight people cost £5 per head and the action takes place at Rolvenden village Hall at 7pm on October 14 – so call Kim on 01795 426 211 if you want to take part. Let’s show ’em Dynamo can be kings of the pub quiz!

IMPRESSIVE TURNER SPEED
+++ Sprint win for road race debutant +++
It wasn’t just the diligent Dyna-marshals who made a Frant-astic impression on Sunday. Kiwi competitor PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY nabbed 6th place by winning the bunch sprint… http://tinyurl.com/jydht …which mirrored ‘RADAR’ RUSS TURNER’s superb road race debut over at the dreaded Cutmill course on the same day. The Eelmore regular as the first of the main bunch to cross the line after leaping away from the pack on the tough uphill finish – a brave move which rewarded him with 8th place overall in the 3rd cat Surrey League race. Well done, sir! West Ken warrior CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL came 10th, giving Dynamo two riders in the points… http://tinyurl.com/g7qhd …and there could have been a third if climbing king ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY hadn’t been one of many riders to incur a puncture on the rain-slicked course. The deflated Dynamate dropped out of the break before the gap reached the two-minute mark – and the remaining riders went on to bag the top seven spots. Damn and blast!

SHARRY UP
+++ Peta’s six days of climbing classic Tour mountains +++
Returning briefly to this week’s theme of minor-league star spotting, lucky old PETA ‘RUBS’ McSHARRY spent a day riding with ex-CSC super-domestique Marcelino Garcia during a charity ride that took her over the Col du Peyresourde, Col de Portet de Aspet, Col d’Aspin and Col du Tourmalet. The retired Spaniard branded the intrepid Dyna-masseuse and her fellow fundraisers “crazy” for spending six consecutive days in the mountains as part of the Guide Dogs Association’s Le Tour Challenge… http://tinyurl.com/oczg9 …and with 38,000m of climbing, he was probably right! But despite only completing a couple of 1.5-hour training rides plus a bit of commuting during the three months prior to the epic trek, Peta bounced out of bed each morning and found her legs loved going uphill. She added: “I guess it was easier than massaging for 7 hours a day.” We know which one we’d rather be doing!

TIME TO HEAD DOWN
+++ Tester’s daring descent +++
Finally, DARREN ‘ICE’ HINCKS has dropped us a line to let us know that he’s exposing the Dynamo brand at drag strips across the UK. The time trialler posted a time of 21:12 at the Andover Wheelers 10 on the 16th and completed the Port Talbot Wheelers 25 on Sunday in 53:59. Darren reveals: “The latter saw me reaching 45mph on one rather scary downhill section. Some of the more competent riders were getting to 55mph!” You need a master-class from demon descender PHIL ‘NO NONSENSE’ CAVELL, pal!

SHOP OFF
Like a thrilled member of Joe Public gawping at Claire Sweeney as she swans through the Bluewater shopping centre, DYNAMITE! has enjoyed witnessing Dynamo’s stars go about their everyday business this week. But please remember that we are only a jobbing snapper crouched at the end of the bakery aisle in Tesco’s, New Malden, and we would be nothing without you, our glamorous Cheryl Cole plonking a bap in her basket. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘FAME HASN’T CHANGED ME’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the shop manager asks us to leave, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a starry gaze.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.