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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #103, 09.06.06
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics – http://tinyurl.com/ppkxg +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web – go to http://www.londondynamo.co.uk and click the “newsletter” link +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 27C max, wind SE 13mph; Sun, sunny, 28C max, wind SE 8mph +++
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YELL FOR LEATHERS
+++ Dyna-management are calling for outriders +++
To their exhausted rivals, some of the barmy blue, black and orange army often appear to be shooting off on a motorbike as they effortlessly power away in a Dyna-massive gear – but this week race secretary MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT is looking for members who really do ride with something hot and throbbing between their legs as he begins putting together a landmark event for the club. That’s right, Dynamates – this season will see the first ever Dynamo-organised road race, which will require a number of outriders to keep the competitors in check with a few firm parps of their horn. It could be time for Cyclefit’s veteran biker and stern rulebook enforcer PHIL ‘NO NONSENSE’ CAVELL to dig the mothballs out of his leathers! This edition of your favourite Dynamatic update will also remind you to get involved with another major Dyna-management project, the Summer Social, and we’ll reveal the inside story of how a quartet of Dynamates secured a podium finish for their team-mate at the latest round of the National Criterium Series – but first let’s rev up the Ducati so you can get up to speed with the club’s bid to organise a South East Series event. It’s time to put on the mirrored shades…
SHAKE UP THE FIELD
+++ Car packed with milky sports beverage for Dynamo race +++
The HQ is booked, the webpage is up, and recovery drink guru STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS has agreed to bring the For Goodness Shakes! logo-emblazoned car along to shamelessly plug his wares… http://www.forgoodnessshakes.com …which means that the much-anticipated inaugural London Dynamo Summer Road Race is finally going ahead. It’s history in the making, Dynamates! Come along to race and sample Stu’s delicious product at Staplefields, near Crawley, West Sussex, on Sunday 23rd July… http://tinyurl.com/nxcsv …or volunteer to help out. Event co-ordinator MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT is looking for Dyna-marshalls, drivers for cars on the course, motorbike outriders, judges to film the finish and, of course, those all-important cake stall operatives, so Dyna-mail him at martingarratt@londondynamo.co.uk if you can offer your services. He’s going to need all the help he can get!
GET WIN THERE!
+++ Simmonds is latest to confirm attendance at booze-up +++
Panicked RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS Dyna-mailed his favourite weekly Dynamesque publication this week fearing it was too late to put his name down for the club’s eagerly-anticipated drink and pizza evening. Well worry not, pal, because accommodating event organiser PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT is still taking RSVPs. Our inbox has been filled with responses from across the Dynamo spectrum, so send a Dyna-mail to the address in the “from” field of this message with “Summer Social” in the subject heading if you fancy mingling with a vast array of your club mates at the Guinea in Bruton Place from 6:15pm on Thursday 29th June… http://tinyurl.com/gcdqj. It’s going to be the event of the season!
GP APPOINTMENT
+++ Dis-Spence-ing strong medicine to PCA at Hillingdon +++
Always keen to shine the spotlight on others, self-effacing elite TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT dropped DYNAMITE! a line about WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE’s impressive top three finish at the 50-mile E/1/2 Hillingdon GP on Saturday… http://tinyurl.com/ntgsu. Dynamo’s quiet man worked with MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT, GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN and RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT to help bring back a break before another move went with Warrick in it. The might of Malcolm Elliott’s PCA squad came to the front, stringing out the bunch as they reeled in the Cyclefit sensation’s group – but the damage had already been done. Tom reveals: “It took PCA a fair while and some of their riders started to drop wheels, despite some verbal ‘encouragement’ from one of their leaders.” Keep it clean, gentlemen! The former Solna Avenue resident adds: “I thought Warrick would have blown all of his energy but he seemed to have plenty left and made the move of the day, beating PCA’s Tony Gibb in the sprint to take 3rd. It was an awesome result, given that the two PCA riders in the break with him were Gibby and Malcolm Elliott, while the guy who came 2nd, Mariusz Wiesiak of Team Nippo, is a pro who won the Archer GP this year.” Nice one, fella!
THE BOY CHUNDER
+++ Paine’s technicolour yawn at crit +++
There was plenty of Dynamo action at Palace on Tuesday, with WILL ‘SEE YA’ HAYTER coming 8th and DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDENER 9th in the 3/4 race before compact mechanic SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON nabbed the No.8 spot in the E/1/2 event… http://tinyurl.com/moa5y …but the Dyna-magic sprinkled over the results sheet was overshadowed by what IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE deposited up the climb. The pressure was on for the Balham wham-blammer to keep up with the ferocious pace set by Tom White of Kuota, who created a 30-second gap which lasted for half of the big boys’ race before he went on to on to win. Sadly, 1st cat fireball Ian had an off-day, as his race mate STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES testifies: “Coming down to the bottom corner, I saw Ian spit something out. Thinking it was a Powerbar gone wrong I thought nothing of it – but the little Glendene junior who was behind him looked horrified. Then, dear Lord, Ian let rip up the climb, spewing out his entire bodyweight in front of the already disturbed lad.” Woah, fella! Fellow competitor CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, who has previously witnessed Ian urinate while freewheeling, pondered to his pal TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT the following day: “Is there any limit to the bodily functions he can perform while riding a bike?” As you might have guessed, poor old Paine didn’t make an impression on the top 10, but DYNAMITE reckons he deserves some credit for carrying on after chundering, getting edged out onto the grass on the next lap, and still managing to finish. In Stu’s awestruck words: “He reached a new level of scary. The man is ridiculously strong!”
…AND A FEW ‘MO THINGS…
+++ Dyna-masseuse KIMBERLY ‘CANUCK’ KABATOFF finishes 4th in her age group at the Weymouth Middle Distance Triathlon with a time of 5:34:25… http://tinyurl.com/ewaw6 …and thanks PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN for sorting out her “hydration system issues” +++ Ladies secretary PETA McSHARRY finishes the 109-mile Gran Fondo Cymru in 8 hrs and 14mins, with LLYR WYNN-JONES clocking in ten minutes ahead +++ Aussie ‘Mo BRENDAN ‘ROBBIE’ MOYLAN completes the 105 miles of the Beaumes de Venise/La Ventoux sportive in 7:49:23 – pic in the gallery soon +++ At the MoD circuit in Chertsey, PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY’s early blast in the bunch sprint nabs him 2nd in Saturday’s 3rd cat race… http://tinyurl.com/hyg6m …with MICHAEL SNEYD two places behind – and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL comes joint 12th in the E/1/2 event +++ STUART ‘EASY PEASY’ SPIES 3rd in Beastway masters category on Wednesday… http://tinyurl.com/k95o4 +++ Just past our deadline, WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE lands 3rd at Wednesday night’s Crawley Crits… http://tinyurl.com/z5ste …more details next week +++
HARLEY DAVIDS-GONE
We’re just about to roar off on our big chopper, which means it’s time to thank everyone who contributed to this issue. Always remember that we are a production-line Yamaha, and we would be nothing without you, our hand-built Triumph. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BORN TO BE WILD’ BUIST to the address in the “from” field of this message – or simply hit your reply button. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we head out on the highway, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.
9am: Hampton Court bridge, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a bushy moustache.
WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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