DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #52, 29.04.05
WHOWUNIT?
After a hard evening decoding reams of great Dynamo results spewing out of the Newsletter bunker’s overworked ticker tape machine, there’s nothing Mrs Dynamite loves more than curling up with a classic thriller – and this week she’s been engrossed in a gripping tale which contains more twists than a bowl of fusilli pasta. The peculiar yarn is made up of two Dynamatic detectives’ lengthy investigation into the bizarre Mystery Of The Missing Point. It’s one hell of a story, Dynamates! So come with us now as we bring all the suspects into the drawing room to reveal who won what at Chertsey while wearing a deerstalker and puffing a pipe. Here comes the first clue…
YOU’RE GAVIN HIM ON
Mean-racing ‘Mos hate it when a bright, shiny BCF point is snatched from their grasp – and man of principle GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN was eager to fight for 10th place at the 3rd cat event in Chertsey long after he had crossed the line. The keen-eyed Dyna-member watched video footage of the whole field sprinting for the finish and saw he had snatched the last placing in Saturday’s 40-mile race – but astonishingly, he was relegated from the No.10 spot to 28th when the official results appeared a few days later. That’s not on! Gavin wrote to Surrey League adjudicator Glyn Durrant, telling him: “I do hope this will be changed because that one point is worth it.” You bet it is, pal! His query opened up a whole can of worms with PIERS ‘PRESSURE’ STANSFIELD pointing out that he was in the top 10, not joint 28th. The sturdy sprinter added: “I was on the wheel of rider No.71 from Pearson Cycles on the finishing straight and I see he came 4th.” The Dyna-mystery deepens! Who was the shadowy ‘Mo wearing a white helmet who scraped the top 30? And where was RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON in all of this? After a flurry of e-mails and much deliberation, the truth finally emerged: Gavin was rightfully installed at 10th place with Richard 9th and Piers 6th. That’s one extra rider in the top 10 thanks to a steward’s enquiry! There was no such confusion in the 4th cat contest as the mighty JUSTIN SIM practically walked the two primes before cruising to 2nd in a bunch sprint with DAVE CASEY following one place behind. Good work, fellas! Unlucky STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS added another 7th to his collection but finished the rain-drenched race happy in the knowledge that his adversaries had swallowed more than their fare share of spray as he had kept the mudguards off his trusty Cougar on TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT’s orders. That showed ’em!
PALACE OF DELIGHT
Circuit race addict RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON had his second fix at Crystal Palace on Tuesday when he nailed 2nd in the 27km 3/4 race with yet another bunch sprint. Incredible! Not to be outdone, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT caught the three leaders in the E/1/2 contest with help from Agiskoviner’s Brett Perez, enabling him to nab 5th – and hardy IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE settled for the No.8 spot. But it’s not just about massed start racing, y’know! In order to prove that Dynamo is a broad church, Weybridge wonder MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON has decided to compete in the Hounslow and District Wheelers 10 mile time trials in Chertsey – and not only did he come first on Thursday but he also won the previous week’s contest with a time of 24.09. The Dynamo hunk said: “That isn’t quick but then it isn’t a quick course.” It was quicker than the rest of them, buddy!
GAME’S UP
Two moustachioed coppers have taken the felon away – and it comes as no surprise to discover that the Keith Butler did it. Hopefully we won’t have to deal with a misdemeanour of this magnitude again but we will be producing another criminal record of Dynamo’s achievements in just seven days. Until then, please remember that we are Professor Plum but we would be nothing without you, our incriminating lead piping in the conservatory. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘SUSPECT’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on e-mail. No whodunit, of course, would be complete without a sting in the tale, so here it comes: THE DEADLINE FOR THIS WEEK ONLY IS TUESDAY for Friday’s edition, which is due to circumstances beyond our control. And now, as the officers bundle the bad guy into the back of a meat wagon, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a body of evidence.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
The DYNAMITE! team.
THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, APRIL 25 – SURREY LEAGUE, CHERTSEY MoD, 3/J, 40 MILES: 1 Tony Cosstick (Hounslow and District Wheelers) 1:33:55; 2 Paul Tunnell (Addiscombe); 3 Thorsten Klassen (Kingston Wheelers); 4 David Pook (Pearson Cycles); 5 G Bryant (Old Portlians); 6 PIERS STANSFIELD (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Paul Williams (Bath); 8 David McMullen (Evans Cycles); 9 RICHARD MASON (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 GAVIN RYAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 Brian Tidey (Addiscombe); 12 GORDON KENNEWAY (LONDON DYNAMO); 13 Neil Robertson (Fit-For); 14 David Findlay (Addiscombe); 15 Daniel Manelfi (agiskoviner.com); 16 David Gayler (Kenton); 17 Lee Chaplin (Twickenham); 18 Bryan Long (unatt); 19 Keith Bugden (Pearson Cycles); 20 Andrew Harvey (Kingston Wheelers); 21 Toni Bond (TM Racing); 22 Phil Sheehan (Fit-For); 23 Richard Getarie (Willesden); 24 Russell Childs (Twickenham); 25 Dean Wilson (Kingsnorth International); 26 Marek Siwicki (Addiscombe); 27 Paul Gosling (Brighton Excelsior); 28 George Higgs (Brighton Excelsior); 29 ROB TUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 29= STUART SPIES (LONDON DYNAMO); 29 Keith Tonge (Willesden); 32 Adrian Brown (agiskoviner.com); 33 Andrew Norfolk (Sigma Sport); 34 Peter Thorp-Hincks (TM Racing); 35 Andrew Seltzer (East Grinstead); 36 Robert Fallon (Fit-For); 37 Ian O’Hara (Sydenham Wheelers); 38 R Abela (Beyond MTB); 39 Andrew McKie (South Western); 40 Mike Brampton (TM Racing); 41 Michael Crockford (Glendene); 42 Mario Manelfi (agiskoviner.com); 43 Toby Leyton (Brighton Mitre); 44 NICK PEACOCK (LONDON DYNAMO); 45 Rod Saxby (Freerider Cycles); 46 John Alderman (VC Meudon); 47 Clive Evans (West Drayton); 48 R Meade (Evans Cycles); 49 Mark Skinner (Brighton Mitre); 50 Tim Lawn (Kingston Wheelers); 51 Nick de Sancha (Kingston Wheelers); 52 Nicholas Gilding (Willesden); 53 Nick Haskoll (Brighton Mitre); 54 Jon Masters (Redhill); 55 Tom McCall (unatt); 56 Spephen Hammer (agiskoviner.com).
SATURDAY, APRIL 25 – SURREY LEAGUE, CHERTSEY MoD, 4/3W/4W, 30 MILES: 1 Simon Warren (Norwood Paragon); 2 JUSTIN SIMS (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 DAVE CASEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 Roger Watts (Lewes Wanderers); 5 Sean Keith (TM Racing); 6 Alan Moore (TM Racing); 7 STUART JEFFREYS (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 James Carlsson (Charlotteville); 8 Russell Davies (unatt); 8 David Bacon (TM Racing); 8 Stuart Potts (TM Racing); 8 Niall Brice (Pacific Racing); 8 Chris Latimer (Angila Sport); 8 Steven Hall (Essex Roads); 8 Edward Sneddon (agiskoviner.com); 8 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 Marcus Borwning (VC Meudon); 8 Mark Goodall (i-team.co.uk); 19 Douglas Fox (Crawley Wheelers); 20 Giuseppe Pardo (Lewes Wanderers); 21 D Pearson (San Fairy Ann); 22 Ben Riches (Farnborough and Camberley); 23 James Bates (agiskoviner.com); 24 Thomas Westran (Kingston Wheelers); 25 David Raggett (Farnborough and Camberley); 26 Tamar Collis (Addiscombe).
TUESDAY, APRIL 26 – CRYSTAL PALACE LEAGUE #1, CRYSTAL PALACE PARK, 3/4/W/J, 27KM: 1 William Thompson (Pacific); 2 RICHARD MASON (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Alex Atkins (Evans); 4 Gary Bryant (Old Portlians); 5 Phil Burnett (Mosquito Bikes); 6 Josh Gregory (Brixton Cycles.
TUESDAY, APRIL 26 – CRYSTAL PALACE LEAGUE #1, CRYSTAL PALACE PARK, E/1/2, 30KM: 1 Brett Perez (Agiskoviner.com); 2 Simon Cope (Pacific); 3 Nick Dibble (Climb On Bikes); 4 Jamie Newall (Evans); 5 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Derek Finnegan (Navan) +45 secs; 7 Alex Rowe (Cycleweb/Synergy); 8 IAN PAINE (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 Scott Bugden (Pearson Cycles); 10 Yves Millier (Kingston Wheelers) +1.05.
THE LAST WORD
“This is the UK’s premier publication for bikists. We run all sorts of features on pedals, handlebars, Savlon. Last month we blew the lid off fig Newtons.”
The DYNAMITE! Files 
Leave a Reply