London Dynamo Newsletter #14, 02.07.04
ONE HELLUVA GUY
It’s a little-known fact that the top floor of Dynamo Towers houses a plush members-only bar which is accessible only to its highest-performing riders – and thanks to an unrelenting run of amazing results in his first season, fast-rising star TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT has now earned the right to knock ’em back at this exclusive watering hole. London Dynamo’s quiet man finished 6th overall in the Surrey League five-day Jaunts event, which gave him enough points to reach the giddy heights of category 1. Cat’s the way to do it! And his fellow Dynamates who took part in the tough 2/3/4/W/J contest also had cause for a celebratory tipple after London Dynamo managed to get no less than five riders in the final GC – that’s more than any other team, fact fans. So pull up a stool, let bow-tied cocktail king RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT show you the pornographic white shorts he gave to Tom as a prize for his efforts this week, and listen on as we drunkenly reveal how the capital’s mightiest club once again proved it’s the best bar none. Here comes the first drink…
PERRY DIFFICULT
With its mainly hilly courses and high pace, the 500km contest turned out to be a little less jaunty than its name suggested. But that didn’t stop Tom, MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON and ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY grabbing top ten spots in the bunch sprints. And, of course, no Newsletter involving Tom would be complete without the modest chap praising others – although he’s outdone himself this time by picking out four people. The first is outright winner Ed Perry who made life difficult by bringing back many a break – and Tom says of the Isle Of Wight wonderkid: “He’s incredibly strong and only 19, although in our defence he is a former national ’10’ champion.” Let’s hope he doesn’t make another visit to the mainland for a while! Dynamo debutante JOSEPH ‘EAGER’ STEGERS, who nabbed a few places in the bunch sprints, was also singled out for praise. Tom reveals: “He was really strong, did some good turns at the front and gave me a push up a hill after I blew on day four. It got me going again.” Well done, that man! Tom described race secretary PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN as “the most important member of the team” as he provided home-made muffins, courtesy of his wife, along with champagne and beers after the last stage. But who was the other team player who impressed Dynamo’s newest 1st cat rider? Let’s have a look at our notes… Hold on – this can’t be right! It’s… KEN BUIST!
KEN WATCH!
This is unbelievable! Wily warrior Ken has spent most of the season developing his reputation as Dynamo’s puzzling enigma – but for five extraordinary days, the south-east cycling scene’s Greta Garbo cast off his veil of mystery to become the most communicative and active member of the team. Tom reveals: “Far from being his elusive self, Ken was highly visible in the pack, either attacking or shouting at people for not working in the break.” This sort of thing is just not on – he has an air of mystique to cultivate! Tom adds: “Ken was in a really promising break on the last day which might have seen him climb into the top five on the GC, but it was brought back.” At least that should shut him up for a while. Just kidding, Ken!
IT’S A NO-NO FROM YO-YO
While Ken’s reputation as a shadowy maverick has taken a knocking, it’s good to see that one tradition remained firmly in place this week. That’s right, Dynamates – Tom’s surname was misspelled on the results for all five Jaunts AND the general classification, which is surely a new world record. Hemmant was listed throughout as “Hemant” – and, rather excitingly, the subject of wrong names has led to the Newsletter receiving its first official letter of complaint! Irate Antipodean ADAM ‘STROPPY’ DOBBS, who was disappointed with the appellation attributed to him in issue 12, fumed: “HOBBS!? What’s that all about? Surely you can do better than that!” We certainly can, mate! But as some readers may recall, the Newsletter didn’t make up “Hobbs” or any of the other Dynamates’ bizarre pseudonyms for that week – CHRIS ‘MADDOCKS’ HADDOCK, JOHN ‘JON’ OLDRIDGE and many others were all present and incorrect on the results sheet for the Surrey League race at Chertsey. Blame the race organisers, not us! Nevertheless, we’d like to make up for any offence, so we are more than happy to adopt Adam’s suggested nickname of “Yo-Yo” as a tribute to the brave boy’s favourite tactic of launching a series of insane attacks which usually end with him falling back into the bunch. He used this technique in the final kilometre of the Martin Newell Memorial race on Sunday, which ended with him taking 15th while RORY ‘GLORY, GLORY’ PARK came 25th and ANDREW ‘LATE STARTER’ STEVENSON nabbed 31st. Adam reveals that the race was Andrew’s first of the season and saw him playing catch-up after being caught behind a crash on the third of five laps. Cycling can be such a cruel mistress!
BEAST AND WORST
Dobbo also wants the Newsletter to pass on his apologies to Field Marshal GUY ANDREWS for failing to turn up as planned for Beastway on Wednesday. Regular readers will know that London Dynamo’s Captain Mainwaring was looking for plenty of volunteers to marshal the MTB race at Eastway – and he was grumpier than usual when only MARTIN GARRETT and MARTIN BUDDEN turned up. What a poor show! Guy blasted: “We need marshals at events so we get accepted in races. Organisers don’t like clubs that don’t marshal or organise events.” And he doesn’t stop there! The stern Parkride taskmaster adds: “I am not pleased. I will be demanding a better show next time we get asked. Names will be taken. Punishments will be administered. I might suggest we do another night to make up for this – it was a tad embarrassing. Crystal Palace want marshals too – so I will be after you!” Dynamates – you have been warned…
SWEDE TASTE OF SUCCESS
On a happier note, Surrey Hills regular STUART JEFFREYS set out on a whopping 300km ride last weekend with the intention of finishing in under 10 hours – and he completed his mammoth trek in 9hr 51min. Excellent work, sir! Stu was one of 15,000 riders who took part in the Vatternrundan in Sweden – and the hardy Cougar rider reveals: “The conditions were pretty grim. I spent much of the ride just hanging on.” No doubt plucky DAVID SPENCER can sympathise after learning during the weekend that gulping down mouthfuls of Downey Rowing Lagoon “has an adverse effect on your digestive system”. The triathlete newcomer managed a respectable mid-field position at Eton after a haphazard swim, a strong bike and a run marred by “serious stitches from not drinking enough”. Where’s that lagoon when you need it, Dave?
HAVEN’T YOU ALL GOT HOMES TO GO TO?
Russell has brought down the shutters on the bar and he’s now busy wiping down the tables. We hope you’ve enjoyed drinking deeply from the cup of Dynamo, and we ask you to remember that we would be nothing without you, our besht matesh. So please send us your news, gossip, race reports and sightings of KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. And now, as Rusty grabs us by the collar and drags us towards the door, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink and a signed photograph of Keith Butler.
WEDNESDAY Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY, JUNE 22 – MARTIN NEWELL MEMORIAL ROAD RACE: 1 Daniel Martin (Giro CC); 2 Tom Crouch (High Wycombe); 3 George Unsworth (Gloucester City); 4 Troeis Larsen (Twickenham); 5 Yves Milliere (Kingston Wheelers); 6 Ed Unsworth (Gloucester City) 7 John Tuckett (Oxford University); 8 Paul Lloyd (Didcot Phoenix); 9 Dave Creegan (VC Meudon); 10 Matt Higgins (unatt); 15 ADAM DOBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 25 RORY PARK (LONDON DYNAMO); 31 ANDREW STEVENSON (LONDON DYNAMO); 33 Paul Williams (Bath Road Club).
FRIDAY, JUNE 25 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 1, LADIES MILE, 2/3/4/W/J, 60KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 1:39:19; 2 Simon Saunders (SP Systems) 1:39:19; 3 Gyles Wingate (Principia) 1:40:01; 4 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 1:40:01; 5 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells) 1:40:01; 6 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 7 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 8 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 1:40:01; 9 Rod Saxby (Freerider Cycles) 1:40:01; 10 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 11 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 12= David Kennett (Addiscombe) 1:40:01; 12= Henry Turgoose (Angliasport) 1:40:01; 12= Kevin Davey (Pacific Racing) 1:40:01; 12= Rob Fuller (Brighton Mitre) 1:40:01; 12= Peter Gettins (Economic Energy) 1:40:01; 12= Colin McDermott (Festival RC) 1:40:01; 12= Adrian Goatley (Freerider Cycles) 1:40:01; 12= Darrell Pembroke Freerider Cycles 2 1:40:01; 12= William Bell (Gemini BC) 1:40:01; 12= Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 1:40:01; 12= Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 1:40:01; 12= KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 12= JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 47 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 70 Mark Hubbard (Worthing Excelsior) 1:53:15.
SATURDAY, JUNE 26 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 2, NORWOOD HILL, 2/3/4/W/J, 120KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 2:36:11; 2 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 2:36:11; 3 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 4 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells) 2:36:11; 5 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 2:36:11; 6 Mark Creary (VC Meudon) 2:36:11; 7 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon) 2:36:11; 8 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 9 Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 2:36:11; 10 Thomas Eichholtz (South Eastern) 2:36:11; 11 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 12 Alan Parkinson (South Western) 2:36:11; 32 ROB TUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 38 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 42 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 43 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 45 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 49 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 71 Alan Denman (Crawley CC) 2:55:12.
SUNDAY, JUNE 27 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 3, OCKLEY, 2/3/4/W/J, 110KM: 1 William Bell (Gemini BC) 3:05:11; 2 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:27; 3 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 3:05:31; 4 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 3:05:31; 5 Seth Kay (unatt) 3:05:31; 6 William Thompson (Pacific Racing) 3:05:31; 7 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells) 3:05:31; 8 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:31; 9 Ian Taylor (Sunderland Clarion) 3:05:31; 10 Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 3:05:31; 16 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:53; 17 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:53; 34 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:06:24; 38 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:06:31; 43 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:06:42; 62 ROB TUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:07:34; 73 Martin Snow (East Grinstead) 3:15:03.
MONDAY, JUNE 28 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 4, BLETCHINGLY, 2/3/4/W/J, 100KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 2:42:02; 2 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon) 2:42:02; 3 Ian Taylor (Sunderland Clarion) 2:42:02; 4 Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 2:42:02; 5 Martin Hulbert (VC Meudon) 2:42:02; 6 Stuart Heade (Sigma Sport) 2:42:02; 7 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 2:44:34; 8 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 2:44:34; 9 Colin McDermott (Festival RC) 2:44:34; 10 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 2:44:34; 16 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 17 Alan Parkinson (South Western RC) 2:44:34; 18 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 19 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells) 2:44:34; 20 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 25 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 29 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 34 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 54 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:54:38; 61 Richard Varian (Epsom) 3:20:00.
TUESDAY, JUNE 29 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 5, KIRDFORD, 2/3/4/W/J, 110KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 2:36:14; 2 Frank Sanz (Pearson Cycles) 2:37:30; 3 Stuart Heade (Sigma Sport) 2:37:30; 4 Neil Linford-Relph (VC Meudon) 2:37:30; 5 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells) 2:37:30; 6 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 7 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 2:37:30; 8 Desmond Gayler (Kenton RC) 2:37:30; 9 Mark Northover (Halesowen) 2:37:30; 10 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 2:37:30; 15 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 18 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 40 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 50 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 51 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 58 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 63 Mario Manelfi (Freerider Cycles) 2:43:27.
THE JAUNTS – FINAL GENERAL CLASSIFICATION: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 12:39:17; 2 Ian Taylor (Sunderland Clarion) 12:41:15; 3 Stuart Heade (Sigma Sport) 12:41:31; 4 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon) 12:41:43; 5 Simon Saunders (SP Systems) 12:43:16; 6 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:43:43; 7 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 12:43:47; 8 William Thompson (Pacific Racing) 12:43:47; 9 Seth Kay (unatt) 12:43:47; 10 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells) 12:43:47; 11 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:43:47; 12 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 12:44:03; 13 Kevin Tye (Poshbikes.com) 12:44:03; 14 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 12:44:09; 15 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:09; 16 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:09; 17 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:15; 18 Adrian Goatley (Freerider Cycles) 12:44:24; 19 Peter Gettins (Economic Energy) 12:44:24; 20 Tony Reeves (Worthing Excelsior) 12:44:24; 27 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:58; 40 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:54:33; 46 Liam Terry (Southdown Velo) 13:46:03.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
Leave a Reply