The DYNAMITE! Files

London Dynamo Newsletter #15, 09.07.04

PELO-GONE
A mouth-watering array of delicious dips is arranged on our coffee table, Mrs Newsletter has got her hand thrust deep into yet another pipe of Pringles and the distinctive tones of Sean “Salut!” Kelly are droning out of our television. All of which can mean only one thing – this year’s potentially historic and possibly quite fattening Tour de France has begun. But while the Newsletter lazes around in its cosy, purpose-built bunker watching stage 5’s rainy trundle from Avens to Chartres on Eurosport, literally several Dynamates are preparing to follow in the pedal strokes of the pros by taking part in Saturday’s Etape. As a result, Dynamo’s presence in this weekend’s domestic pelotons will effectively disappear – and with most of our have-a-go heroes in the tapering stage of their Etape training this week, it was down to one thrilling threesome to show a bit of Dynamo dynamite. So settle down on your sofa, reach for your processed potato-based snacks and let us be your virtual TV coverage from glamorous Clarendon. Here comes the guacamole…

BANGERS AND CRASH
Who needs malt loafs, oat bars and pasta? Certainly not fast-rising star TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT! Dynamo’s quiet man used the no-nonsense British banger as the basis for his pre-race fuelling session on Saturday night – and his barbecue feast with flatmates RICHARD DOLBY and CHRIS CHAPMAN helped Dynamo to become the highest-placed London team at the three-up national time trials on Sunday. Pork of the net! Tom had a slippery Jan Ullrich-style crash on the final corner yet still managed to notch up a time of 1hr 11min 40secs with his team-mates GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS and ‘WONDER’ WARRICK SPENCE, which is the fastest any incarnation of London Dynamo has negotiated Clarendon’s hilly 50km circuit. Guy said of the team: “It was a good combination – youth, experience and a race horse. We only had 20 minutes in the warm-up to sort out our formation, so it was even more satisfying to know we could go a little quicker with a bit more practice.” Isn’t an average of 26mph good enough for you, fella? The triumphant trio, who reached 48mph on a descent in Petworth, had the fastest time with more than half of the teams past the finishing line and it took an impressive line-up from Liphook Cycles to knock them off the top spot. Dynamo eventually placed 12th, beating the much-fancied Evans “A” team – and Guy chortles: “That’ll please our sponsors!” But no race report involving the club’s grouch-in-chief would be complete without at least one gripe, so here it goes: “Tom only put his tri-bars on his shonky Ribble the day before. Note to sponsors – fast rider needs faster bike!” You heard him, Cyclefit!

NO EX-SPENCE SPARED
And let’s face it – if super-stallion Warrick can get two new bikes from the Macklin Street maestros, then promising colt Tom should get one as well. That’s right, jealous Dynamates – Covent Garden co-boss PHIL CAVELL has revealed to the Newsletter that the crafty Kiwi will have a couple of gorgeous machines waiting for him when he returns from his homeland. What a result! Despite coming first at this week’s Eastway “10” and winning the London Dynamo Newsletter Of The Week Carbon Bottle Cage in the process, “Wonder” Warr reckons he has seen a slight decline in form, so he’s sacrificed his place on the Etape for a rest period in New Zealand. But he promises to be back soon to launch another devastating assault on the premier calendar. Malcolm Elliott won’t know what hit him!

SHOW’S OVER
The credits have rolled, the ads have come on, and Mrs. Newsletter is wiping the last drop of salsa dip from her mouth. We hope you have enjoyed our “live” coverage, and we look forward to welcoming you back next week for more thrilling action. Remember that we are an excitable Phil Liggett, but we would be nothing without you, our mild-mannered Paul Sherwen. So please keep sending us your news, gossip and sightings of KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. And now, as Mrs Newletter reaches for the “off” button, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink and a leash for ADAM ‘YO-YO’ DOBBS.

WEDNESDAY Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, JULY 4 – RTTC 2004 TEAM TIME TRIAL CHAMPIONSHIP, CLARENCOURT, 50KM: 1 Blue Sky Cycles (Charles McCulloch, Stuart Shawcross, Craig Simpson) 01:06:39; 2 Planet X (Kevin Dawson, Mark Lovatt, John Tanner) 01:07:27; 3 VC St Raphael “B” (Rowan Horner, Wayne Levet, Andy Lyons) 01:08:53; 4 Stourbridge CC (Richard Bradley, Barry Charley, Gavin Pardoe) 01:09:29; 5 Blackburn & District (Carl Helliwell, Ian Stott, Dave Ebbrell) 01:09:45; 6 Alcan-Sunchemical-Bianchi (Neil Coleman, Nigel Polkinghorne, Greg Sandy) 01:09:51; 7 In-Gear RT (James Louter, Peter Tadros, Sean Yates) 01:10:00; 8 VC St Raphael “A” (Mark Wareham, Simon Berogna, Malcolm Cox) 01:10:13; 9 Liphook Cycles (Lee Day, Peter Kench, Paul Pickup); 01:10:20; 10 Team Bradgate (Richard Hunt, Jason Rozee, Jeff Snodin) 01:11:28; 11 In-Gear RT “B” (James Dear, David Pollard, Jon Sharples) 01:11:40; 12 LONDON DYNAMO (GUY ANDREWS, TOM HEMMANT, WARRICK SPENCE) 01:11:48; 12= Science in Sport.com “B” (James Davies, Matthew Hodges, Pete Saddler) 01:11:48; 14 GS Stella “A” (Mark Sinnott, Mark Jones, John Limpus) 01:12:34; 15 Evans Cycles RT “A” (Jody Crawforth, Chris Birch, Justin Hoy) 01:12:50; 43 South Western RC (Gary Smith, Bill McCombe, Dudley Samuels) 00:51:27 01:35:42 19.478.

TUESDAY, JULY 6 – EASTWAY 10-MILE TIME TRIAL: 1 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO) 22.32; 2 T. Ofstad 23.15; 3 J. Cocker 23.27; 4 A. Brown 23.40; 5 M. Antsey 24.23; 6 J.Griffin 24.32; 7 S. Dennison 24.32; 8 G. Bridger 24.34; 9 A. Griffiths 24.40; 10 MARTIN BUDDEN (LONDON DYNAMO) 24.55; 11 G. Holland 25.10; 12 S. Griffiths 25.29; 13 K. Jenns 25.45; 14 R. Simpson 25.46; 15 S. McKenzie 26.04; 58 K. Smith 36.26.

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