London Dynamo Newsletter #16, 16.07.04
A PLEA IN YOUR EAR
It is a truth universally acknowledged in the media world that no publication can achieve the mantle of greatness until it pulls off a pioneering campaign – and with this in mind, your caring Newsletter is launching a major crusade which is just as important as sending toys to Romanian orphans or fifth-rate comedians to “entertain” squaddies in war zones. No-one who heard RUSSELL ‘REVOLUTION’ SHORT’s impassioned speech to the Dynamo ranks at the end of last week’s Parkride could fail to be moved by his plea for each member to do their bit among the wider racing community. So come, kind-hearted reader, as we embark on the campaign trail. Here comes the battle bus…
THE DUTY DOZEN
…and Hillingdon is our first stop. Let’s not beat around the bush, Dynamates: the Tuesday series needs YOU. Lots of members have been amassing mountains of points at races all over the south-east – but that’s simply not enough! Rusty and ‘GUVNER’ GUY ANDREWS are warning that race organisers will exclude London Dynamo from future events if more members don’t start marshalling. That’s harsh, flinching reader, yet it’s true! So here, as they say, is the deal. The club is organising a race at Hillingdon on Tuesday, August 10 – that’s Tuesday, August 10, if you want to pencil it into your diaries this very instant – and the Newsletter is issuing an impassioned appeal for 12 marvellous ‘Mos to become marshals for the evening. Racing begins at 7.15pm and you may even get to ride down the Uxbridge Road with Guy as he recalls with a sneer the number of riders he has recently seen wearing socks pulled up beyond the regulation 20mm mark. If that’s not an incentive, we don’t know what is! It could also be your chance to finally meet up with your Dynamo hero and exchange tips on cleat/pedal axle interface after reading about his or her adventures in this very organ. To take part in what many are already referring to as the marshalling event of the season, simply send an email to news@londondynamo.co.uk with “DUTY DOZEN” in the message body and we’ll forward your name to the top floor of Dynamo towers so they can send you more details. Go on – you know it makes sense!
KITS LIKE A GLOVE
But it’s not all work, work work, y’know – the event will also provide the opportunity for dishy Dynamodels to show off yet more stylish clothing from the House of Dynamo. That’s right, people – following an official Newsletter visit on Thursday, we discovered that Cyclefit co-conspirators PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL and JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL have received yet more cracking kit. Having tore open four huge boxes of club-branded Lycra, we can exclusively reveal that the consignment contains 100 pairs of short-sleeved jerseys and shorts along with quite a few gilets plus a number of short-sleeved skin suits. That’s enough for an army, not a cycling team! We nabbed the first sizzling skin-suit from the box and its sexy, snug fit has been attracting admiring glances from Mrs Newsletter all evening. Now there’s a lady with great taste!
ST FLOUR POWER
While chatting with Phil about our dashing uniforms, the style-conscious bike fitting guru also mentioned that ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY should have got a best dressed rider award when he rolled up to the Cyclefit stand at the start of the Etape on Sunday. The pony-tailed peddler was in his dashing Dynamo gear – and his gleaming Merckx Team with its Record groupset perfectly complemented the slick look. What a smoothie! Rob also proved he’s got power as well as style by polishing off the massive 237km stage from Limoges to Saint Flour in 8h 47m 32s. He reveals: “It was a Dynamo sprint finish for the all-important 1054th position” – and sadly, CHRIS CHAPMAN pipped him to the line. Dammit all! Rob adds: “Thanks to Chris for dragging me the last 20 miles and congratulations to all the other Dynamates who took part.” The Newsletter will have a full round-up of London Dynamo’s performance in the Etape once we hear from ALEX ‘BIG AL’ BALFOUR, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT plus countless others who are taking a well-earned break this week. And undeterred by his team-mates mass exodus to France, ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE provided Dynamo with its sole domestic appearance this week when he finished 3rd at the front of the bunch at Crystal Palace on Tuesday. Here’s hoping he has some Dynamates to keep him company next time!
END OF THE ROAD
The night has drawn to a close, the furry dice have been taken down and we’ve driven our battle bus safely back to the Dynamo Towers car park. We’ll be re-fuelling until next Friday, when we’ll be increasing our drive to get those all-important 12 Dynamarshals. Always remember that we are the hard-working driver, but we would be nothing without you, our careful map-reader. So please send us your news, gossip, kind offers of help to marshal at Hillingdon on August 10th and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. And now, as we thrust the nozzle into the tank, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and Richard Virenque’s “medicine bag”.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY JULY 13, CRYSTAL PALACE CIRCUIT RACES, 3/4/W/J: 1 Hayden Brook (Catford); 2 Alan Male (De Laune CC) +1m.20; 3 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) +1m 26; 4 Graeme Langhorne (Gemini BC); 5 Karl Brooks (34 Nomads); 6 William Thompson (Pacific RT); 7 Gormley (McQuaid Tyres); 8 Phil Jones (Dulwich); 9 Max McCalla (VC Londres).
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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