London Dynamo Newsletter #17, 23.07.04
HAT’S THE WAY TO DO IT!
It’s rare for cyclists to achieve a certain level of intimacy in a public place, so you can imagine how thrilling it was for certain excitable Dynamembers to throw caution to the wind this week and candidly reveal themselves without shame. That’s right, blushing reader – eight racy Dynamates met in a pub on Wednesday and, for one naughty night only, removed their crash-hats in front of each other. It doesn’t get any more shocking than that! In fact, there was not a pair of wraparound shades or lycra bib shorts in sight as PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, MARTIN GARRATT, PAUL HARKNETT, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, NICK PEACOCK, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, and REBECCA STUBBS watched Lance’s historic victory on Alpe d’Huez over a few enjoyable drinks at the Duke of York in Theobalds Road. The social event of the summer was held to celebrate Paul flogging the first items in our new consignment of cracking kit earlier that night – and your ever-supportive Newsletter will be doing its bit to publicise our terrific togs with a series of blatant plugs in this very issue. So come with us as we tear into the four heaving boxes taking up huge amounts of floor space in Cyclefit. Here’s the first sexy skinsuit coming your way…
HE’S THAT TAPER GUY
…or it will be if those Macklin Street maestros happen to be in. Twin-piston powerhouse GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL raced down to our sponsor’s Covent Garden HQ on Friday evening after the Newsletter tipped him off about the latest kit delivery – but the towering triathlete was outraged to find the shop shut, even though he had arrived before their advertised closing time. There’s gonna be words! And there was further disappointment the following day when he drove CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL down to Chertsey, only to be told by Surrey League supremo Keith ‘I’ll get you’ Butler that all the races had been cancelled due to a lack of first aiders. So the debut of the delectable Dynamo skinsuit, draped over Campbell’s questionable physique, was unfortunately postponed. It must be the Curse of Powdrill! Yet the cocksure swimmer’s luck improved 24 hours later when he took 4th at the Brighton pier-to-pier race in a field of 300 sea-lovers. Water result! Guy, who readily admits to being “anal” about household chores, won £25 in Argos vouchers which he has vowed to spend on a new ironing board. And the ironing man will become an Ironman this weekend for the mammoth triathlon event in Switzerland. Despite his hectic race schedule, Guy assures us he has technically been in the tapering stage of his training for the arduous event, which comprises 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike (gulp!) and a 26.2 mile run. We wish you the best of British, sir! Meanwhile, DOMINIC PAUL proved to be another big cheese in Switzerland when he came 21st overall in the European Triathlon Championships in Lausanne on July 3rd, notching up the 8th fastest bike split and nabbing 7th place in his age group. He also came 11th overall and 3rd in his age group at the Welsh National Championships at Pembrokeshire on June 26. Grateful Dominic, whose next race is the London Triathlon, gushed: “Thanks, Dynamo, for helping me with that winter training on the bike – it’s really paying off.” All part of the service, pal!
ETAPE OF THE CLASS
The merry band of Dynamates who congregated at the Duke of York on Wednesday night were delighted to see ALEX ‘BEEFY’ BALFOUR pop in for a flying visit. The big man had come to pick up his expensive mobile from Paul after leaving it in Cyclefit. What a silly sausage! Balfie also dropped the Newsletter a line to let us know that he survived the Etape, finishing in just over 10 hours, and he met many a dynamique Dynamate along the way. Big Al reveals: “Some tosser nicked my water bottle from the seat cage in the first half hour. It turned out to be TOM HEMMANT and I spent the next 90 minutes holding his and CHRIS CHAPMAN’s wheel. Then came the serious descents and I lost my metaphorical bottle. I stayed very quiet when I was discussing descents with some non-Dynamo London riders after one asked: ‘Why did all those people hug the side of the road instead of taking a racing line?’ That was me, trying to avoid death. I overtook precisely two riders all day on the descents and must have been overtaken by at least a thousand.” But for every downhill there’s an upside, as Alex admits: “Pushing fairly hard, ignoring my heart rate and carving up the peloton in matching Dynamo kit was an utter childish joy.” That’s the spirit, mate! The oar-some rower also informs us that STUART JEFFRIES finished 40 minutes ahead, and PIERS STANSFIELD has passed the Newsletter a note to say he was “buggered” after clocking a time of 9h 5m. Any more Etape times and tales of daring descents would be greatly appreciated – simply email news@londondynamo.co.uk and we’ll wrap up all of your French adventures next week. But for now, the final word goes to Alex. He confesses: “I almost joined the official peloton through Beauvais when I sneaked onto the course as the last cars went through, but I got a bit of stage fright. Some of the crowd were cheering for me and others were giving me looks of commiseration for being dropped.” Cheeky buggers!
IT DOZEN GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS
Back in good old Blighty, our pioneering campaign to get 12 marvellous ‘Mos a-marshalling at Hillingdon on Tuesday, August 10 has got off to a flying start – but we still need more volunteers. So email news@londondynamo.co.uk with “DUTY DOZEN” in the message body and we’ll pass your name onto the Dynamo management. We MUST do our stint of marshalling, Dynamates, or race organisers will begin excluding us from races. It really is as simple as that!
KEN WATCH!
He’s back! Or is he? The ever-elusive Antipodean sent a text message to PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN this week which read: “Sitting by the pool having a beer. It’s a hard life.” He could be in Bournemouth or the Bahamas, for all we know! Any information on his whereabouts should be electro-mailed to news@londondynamo.co.uk. We know it’s a long shot, but isn’t it always where Ken’s concerned?
THAT’S IT – WE’RE CLOSED
We’ve sold our last pair of bib shorts for today and PHIL ‘NO NONSENSE’ CAVELL has ushered out the last few punters clamouring to buy our devilishly handsome uniforms, which you can pick up from Cyclefit. As long as they’re open. Call first, would be our advice. We’ll be back next week – and until then, remember that we are a sturdy winter Windtex gilet, but we would be nothing without you, our versatile all-weather jersey. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of mystery man KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as Phil tootles off down Macklin Street on his dainty Brompton, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and Robbie McEwan’s water bottle.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
…is absent, principally because all the Dynamo big hitters planned to race at Chertsey until it was cancelled. Hopefully we’ll have better luck next week!
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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