London Dynamo Newsletter #18, 30.07.04
SIX OF THE BEST…
There’s nothing Mrs. Newsletter enjoys more than a good thrashing – and there were tearful scenes in our soundproof bunker this week as a big mean fella delivered the whupping of the century. That’s right, wincing Dynamates – Lance Armstrong’s mercilessly executed sixth Tour De France victory made the first lady of the Dynamo Towers basement sob for joy. There wasn’t a dry eye on the sofa! Even Sash, the unofficial Newsletter cat who pops in from next door, was shocked to see her pal screaming encouragement at the TV as the Texan chased down Andreas Kloden at Le Grand-Bornand during the thrilling climax of Stage 17. What a hero! It’s all over now, of course, but we hope our final instalment of dynamique Etape tales helps you, our Tour-crazy readership, to imagine that the greatest race on Earth has been magically extended for one more stage. Ready? Here comes Jean-Marie Leblanc’s official race car…
…AND 12 HANDY MEN
But before the race gets underway, your weekly chronicle of all things Dynamoid would like to remind everyone that there is still time to register for marshalling duties at Hillingdon on Tuesday, August 10. There’s been a flurry of interest on the website forum and you can still join the marshalling event of the season by sending an e-mail to news@londondynamo.co.uk with “DUTY DOZEN” in the subject heading. Remember: Dynamo riders will start getting turned away from races if the club doesn’t put in an effort. And if you pitch in on the night, then you’ll also get to ask devoted ‘Mo GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL about his titanic effort at Ironman Switzerland on Sunday. The twin-piston powerhouse, who eagerly signed up to help out at the regular Tuesday night event, finished 312th out of 1600 in the king-sized triathlon. For reasons best known to himself, Guy booted his bed before jetting off, which didn’t do his right foot any good at all, and he felt nauseous after eating too much too quickly during the 112-mile bike section of the race. But a strong swim put him in the top 50 by the time he was out of the water and finding a steady rhythm for the 26-mile run earned him a finishing time of 10hrs 53mins. Well done, sir! On the same day back in Blighty, fellow tri hero MARTIN WILLIAMSON achieved a spookily neat personal best of 2hrs 2mins 2secs at the Milton Keynes triathlon, finishing 13th at the Olympic distance race. Dynamo’s chiselled hunk also came 9th overall at the Helvellyn Triathlon in the Lake District on Saturday, July 17th, clocking up 3hrs 59mins 47secs – and Martin reveals: “The run was up a proper mountain. I had to use my hands to pull myself up some bits of it and the top was in the cloud with a visibility of less than 100 meters.” That’s not running – that’s mountain climbing! Talking of which…
A MASSIF EFFORT
Our biggest report from the Massif Central comes, appropriately enough, from ‘BIG ED’ RAYNARD – one of Dynamo’s loftiest riders. The man with a Cannondale the size of a penny farthing camped out in rain-soaked Limoges with his dad, who almost managed to blag a six-grand Serotta from PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL and JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL at Cyclefit’s stand in the Etape village. Good try, pal! Unfortunately, Ed’s campsite buddy Eric fell victim to the 30km elimination stage – and his misfortune is a warning to anyone thinking of making their debut at the event next year. The big man explains: “Eric’s start number was 8000 and something and he had the dreaded broom wagon biting his derriere. The poor soul also punctured at 20km – but he said he’d be back next year for more punishment.” That’s the spirit! Incidentally, ALEX BASTIN also had a visit from the puncture fairy and the Newsletter has still to hear from him. Hope you made it to St. Flour, mate! But it was Le Puy Mary which proved the biggest challenge for Ed. He reckons that “75 per cent of riders were walking with their shoes off, staggering 2km to the summit” – but the huge climb, which came 110 miles into the journey, didn’t get the better of our man. Ed finished in 10hr 35min – “including a ridiculous 1hr 10min of breaks!” – and said the day was “one of my most memorable life experiences”. He adds: “My favourite memories will be of the crowds lining the roadside from the start to the finish line, cheering strangers giving out food, bands playing music, and much vin being consumed. All very emotional.” DAVID NORRIS, who narrowly missed out on a silver medal with a time of 9hr 11min, described it as a “fantastic day” with “amazing scenery, crowds and roads – there are no potholes in France!” And MARTIN ‘THE BEARD’ BUDDEN, who finished in 8hr 16min, got really carried away with the emotion of the day when he gushed: “I rode with a 53-38-30 and 12-25 but could have done with an 11 on the descents. Next year I might try 50-38-28 and 11-23, depending on the climbs.” It doesn’t get any crazier than that!
WOT NO CHAPMAN?
Sneaky CHRIS CHAPMAN, who wants to cut his flatmate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT down to size, has also hatched a crazy plan this week. The 4th cat minnow revealed that he’ll compete with Dynamo’s fast-rising 1st cat superstar at Beastway – and he has a secret weapon for the MTB race. Chris confides: “Tom only has one gear. I have 27.” There’s confidence for you! Results of Wednesday’s event have yet to reach the Newsletter bunker, but hopefully the organisers will do a better job than the Hillingdon officials, who had “C. Chadman” in 10th place in the 4/W/J race. The influence of Mr Hemmant, who has had more misspelled entries on finishing sheets than any other Dynamo rider, is finally paying off!
KEN WATCH!
This one’s a belter! Eagle-eyed Aussie CRAIG THOMPSON spotted elusive Antipodean KEN BUIST at 1am on Saturday in a Notting Hill nightclub – and he was “supposedly on a date”! Craig reveals: “Ken was wearing a tight black vest and jeans. He was with an attractive brunette.” Sounds promising! Could this be the same lady who accompanied Ken on a recent visit to Sigma? Our mole adds: “He was talking up a four-hour training ride that he was planning to do when he got home from the club. But the vest must have worked a treat as they left well before closing time.” What a smoothie! But what kind of ride did he go on the following morning? Was the brunette involved? Or did she find his downward-pointing stem a disappointment? Any answers, as usual, should be sent immediately to news@londondynamo.co.uk with “KEN WATCH!” in the subject heading. This could be the start of a beautiful relationship!
END OF THE ROAD
The traffic bollards have been collected from the middle of the Champs Elysees, the Star Spangled banner is ringing in our ears and our feet are crying out for a massage after hours of standing pressed against a barrier. The Tour will return in a year’s time, but your eager Newsletter will be back in just seven days. Until then, always remember that we are the fabled cobbles of Liege, but we would be nothing without you, our glorious Alpe d’Huez. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we ask a helpful gendarme the way to the metro, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a big green PMU hand.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY, JULY 20, BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J 45KM: 1 Tariq Lear (Thames Velo); 2 J. Howes (Hillingdon Slipstreamers); 3 C. Stucker (unatt); 4 J. Schubert (Verulam CC); 5 H. Vivian (Finsbury Park); 6 G. Pettit (Hillingdon CC); 7 N. Robertson (Addiscombe); 8 G. Kerr (21st Century Airports CC); 9 G MacMillan (Kingston Wheelers); 10 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 C Fyfe (2-Team RC); 12 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 13 P. Murrell (Finsbury Park).
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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