London Dynamo Newsletter #35, 26.11.04
CAMP IT UP
For many months, gossipy Dynamates have been speculating about an eagerly-anticipated occasion which is close to their hearts – and after a great deal of top-level behind-the-scenes negotiations, details of a certain fun-packed jaunt to a country with more hospitable weather began to emerge this week. It goes without saying that the Newsletter has been thinking about little else during the past few days and dozens of Dyna-members feel the same way about the camp that’s got everyone talking. That’s right, telly-obsessed reader – the highly entertaining new series of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here has begun on the ever-dependable ITV1. Watching squeaky-voiced comic Joe Pasquale and his z-list chums roughing it in the middle of the Aussie outback – that’s what winter nights were made for! But we’ve also heard on the jungle telegraph that the Dyna-management has organised a completely separate camp for similarly masochistic ‘Mos, so come with us now as we tackle a rickety rope bridge to retrieve a treasure chest packed with goodies. Here comes the first bushtucker trial…
ONE HILL OF A TRIP
It’s time to book your sturdy bike luggage cases – because travel co-ordinator RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT has finally confirmed the Dyna-dates for the inaugural London Dynamo training camp in sunny Majorca. From March 20th to 27th, dozens of Dynamates can look forward to many, many hours of unsurpassed riding in God’s own cycling country, with plenty of arduous ascents and daring descents along the way. It sure beats Richmond Park on a wet Saturday! The price of the trip is just £499 – which includes flights, shared accommodation, food, transport to and from the airport, plus, of course, guided rides with able shepherds GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS, PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, RORY ‘GLORY, GLORY’ PARK and Rusty. If next year’s camp is anything like 2004’s Cyclefit-organised outing, you can also expect plenty of bonding over a warm glass of Tunel in the hotel bar after a hard day in the saddle. Just keep the drunken conversations about stem length to a minimum! To book, simply call Martin Boone at the Eton Travel Agency on 01753 671 737 or email MartinB@eton-travel.co.uk. And look at it this way – if you don’t go, you’ll never understand all the in-jokes and references to the camp which will appear in the Newsletter from April!
CHORUS OF APPROVAL
We have to admit, however, that our chums at Cyclefit have provided a far better incentive to come along to what many members are already calling the Dynamo event of 2005. Get yourself into shape at the club’s Dyna-Mallorcan adventure and you could be well on the way to taking the Macklin Street maestros’ prestigious award for the most improved rider of the season. The competition is only open to current members – and the prize is certainly nothing to be sniffed at! The lucky winner, to be decided by the Dyna-management, will get a free Campagnolo Chorus groupset worth around £700, or Shimano Ultegra if you really must. And TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT is even luckier because he’s getting a brand new Serotta complements of the Covent Garden gurus to celebrate his ascension to elite level. It’s time to chuck out the Ribble, pal! Those less fortunate then Tom can get down to our sponsors’ WC2 HQ this Tuesday where Ben Serotta himself will have jetted in to unveil his swanky Nove. Simply email PHIL ‘NO NONSENSE’ CAVELL or JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL on info@cyclefit.co.uk to book your place at the select soiree. Just don’t look at the Nove’s price tag without full medical insurance!
ED OF AN ERA
Finally, it is with great sadness that the Newsletter must bid farewell to ‘BIG ED’ RAYNARD who attended his final Parkride this week. The towering titan has been lured to Brighton by the promise of fresh sea air and a bigger pad for him and his family. There’s nothing wrong with cramped, polluted London, pal! Eager Ed hopes to travel up by train for the occasional Sunday ride, but for now the Newsletter wishes the lanky Cannondale rider the best of luck on the south coast. Saturday mornings won’t seem the same without you, buddy!
WE’RE OUT OF HERE
We’ve eaten as many insects as we can stomach, thrust our hand into the final snake pit, and defecated behind a tree for the very last time. It’ll take a few months before our bowels recover – but it’s only another week until the next edition of your favourite fast and loos Dynamo-related journal arrives. Until then, always remember that we are the king of the swingers but we would be nothing without you, our jungle VIP. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘TARZAN’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on email. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as Ant and Dec deliver their final piece to camera, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a weevil.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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