London Dynamo Newsletter #36, 03.12.04
PARTY TIME!
The Newsletter often wonders what idle daydreams pass through the minds of our leisurely readership before another edition of their favourite time-wasting Dynamo-related reportage reaches their inbox. We can picture, for instance, fashion-conscious estate agent GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL reclining on his executive leather-backed office chair, feet resting on his desk, as he imagines the gasps of amazement he will provoke by turning up to the Parkride in his stylish new Rapha softshell jacket. We can visualise carb-crazy Cyclefit co-owner PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL in his WC2 HQ counting the hours until he pops down to the Italian cafÈ on the corner of Macklin Street for a steaming hot baked potato. And we hazard a guess that during the quieter moments of his high-powered stockbroking schedule, dedicated committee man ANDY ‘LISTEN UP’ STEVENSON is beaming from ear to ear as he mentally draws up a list of all the niggling points he intends to bring up at the next Dyna-management meeting. Our Chairman ‘Mo GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS won’t know what hit him! This week, however, it’s fair to say that every Dyna-member is only contemplating one thing – their forthcoming staff Christmas party. Which is why quick-thinking social secretaries PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT and NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK have got into the swing of things by organising the club’s equivalent of a festive work do at a central London watering hole. It’s gonna be a belter, Dynamates! So come with us as we prepare for the sight of strapping redhead IAN ‘BULLDOG’ JENKINSON getting diminutive RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT in a headlock as the result of winning a rowdy drinking game. Here comes the opening verse of Agadoo…
BIG CITTIE
It’s being billed as the Big Social – and several eager Dynamates have already confirmed they will be propping up the bar at the spacious Cittie of York pub at 22 High Holborn next Monday. The Christmas knees-up, which kicks off at 6.30pm, is your chance to discover what your favourite club chums look like when they remove their helmets. And just think – after a whole season of hard riding, you can finally reward yourself with a pint or 12 of falling-down water! There is also a great selection of restaurants nearby, so starving revellers can expect to be Dyna-masticating well into the night. To confirm you will be attending what many are already calling the most eagerly-anticipated get-together of the festive season, email Paul at pharknett@londondynamo.co.uk. Yule be a fool to miss it!
KEN WATCH!
Ahead of the pack as always, Cyclefitters PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL, JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL and WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE launched the party season on Tuesday with a refined wine-and-nibbles soiree to celebrate a rare appearance by US-based frame-building guru Ben Serotta. Attendees CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFRIES, IAN ‘BULLDOG’ JENKINSON, NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and many others listened to the man himself give an inspiring talk on his bicycle-fitting philosophy before the assembled throng salivated over the impressive Nove frameset, which is a whole 500 smackers cheaper than the top-of-the-range Ottrot. Give us a hammer – we’re cracking open the piggy-bank! While mingling with the crowd in the Covent Garden bike boutique, the Newsletter overheard someone express their fear that man of mystery KEN BUIST was “dead in a ditch” somewhere because he hadn’t been spotted for so long. Well worry no more, pal – because the south-east cycling scene’s Greta Garbo has resurfaced on our radar! Eagle eyed-tecchie DAVID ‘WEBMASTER’ SPENCER reports that he and his wife spotted a cyclist “emptying the contents of his nasal cavity” on the pavement outside Bentalls shopping centre in Kingston a couple of weekends back. That nose-blowing rider waiting at the lights was, of course, none other than Dynamo’s very own slippery antipodean. Ken swiftly disappeared into the night – and David notes: “He was sporting a natty helmet light.” That’s our Ken – always lighting up our lives!
HELLO CAMPERS!
Brilliant news, Dynamates! After only one week since it was announced, places for the inaugural Dynamo training camp are filling up nicely – and you can get on the blower to Martin Boone at the Eton Travel Agency on 01753 671 737 to secure your place on the marvellous Mallorcan jaunt. In order to organise the daily rides, trip managers GUY ‘MAINWARING’ ANDREWS, PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN and RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT would like to have some idea of how many members will be going, so give Martin a ring to register your interest even if you haven’t quite managed to get your partner or spouse to let you off the leash from March 20th to 27th. They’ll come round eventually!
A VID OF CONFUSION
We were hoping to sign off by reminding everyone to set their videos for the TV debut of the capital’s most telegenic pedal-tappers this week – but there is a bit of confusion over when Sky One are screening the historic show. Rest assured that the Newsletter will post full details on the forum when we get them. We really wouldn’t want any ‘Mos to miss out on seeing MARTIN ‘BRAVEHEART’ BUDDEN in a kilt!
PARTY’S OVER
The free booze has finally run out, the pretty 17-year-old from accounts has volubly rejected our advances for the last time, and sleeping alone in the office broom cupboard with only a mop for company is beginning to seem like an attractive proposition. The staff festive shindig is over for another year, but it will only be a week until you get an equally disappointing fumble with your preferred source of Dynamo-related information. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘PUSH PINEAPPLE, SHAKE THE TREE’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on email. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the boss cheerily picks up his briefcase and notices vomit leaking out of the sides, it only remains for us to remind you about…
THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.
SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a photocopy of your bottom.
WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.
So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.
London Dynamo Newsletter.
The DYNAMITE! Files 
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