Archive for the 'DYNAMITE! filed' Category

London Dynamo Newsletter #20, 13.08.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #20, 13.08.04

FLAMING BRILLIANT!
We’ve reached that point of the sporting calendar where the finest athletes are given the honour of carrying the torch to a partially-built sports facility – and a select group rose to the occasion magnificently on Tuesday when they donned their devilishly handsome uniforms to brandish the blue flame of Dynamo at Hillingdon. The roll-call of proud members who responded to this fine organ’s campaign to get 12 ‘Mos a-marshalling at the west London circuit was staggering, and the Newsletter would like to pay tribute to all those riders who turned up to help out, race, or do a bit of both. So step forward ALEX ‘BUSTED’ BASTIN, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, HUGO ‘TURBO’ CANO, CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, TOM DAVIES, BILL GILBERT, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT, ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE, RORY ‘GLORY, GLORY’ PARK, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, PHIL ‘NEW BOY’ SHEEHAN, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE and MARTIN ‘HUNK’ WILLIAMSON. Gentlemen, we salute your Olympian efforts! Hardy taskmaster GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS was going to assume the role of troop commander until he turned up half an hour late, leaving Mike, Chris Campbell and Tom Davies to man the signing-on desk in the clubhouse while John prepared to take down the winners’ numbers when they crossed the line. Good work, fellas! Dynamo’s contribution to the evening has thus ensured that the club won’t be turned away by race organisers at future events. So now, with the sound of celebratory fireworks still ringing in our ears, it’s time to move from the opening ceremony on to the first event. Here comes the bang from the starting gun…

REAPING A HARVEST
Handy mechanic SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON was delighted to get his grease-ridden mitts on a £15 Harvester voucher, which is redeemable at hundreds of the reputable restaurants nationwide. He’ll be joined at the buffet bar by CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, who was also rewarded with a free meal for getting a result at the sweltering Surrey League championships at Ninfield on Sunday. The bespectacled boy wonder entered the category 3 world of bottom-kicking after holding the wheel of none other than wonderkid Lewis Atkins and staying with him in a seven-man break to clinch 7th place. Excellent work, sir! And please accept the London Dynamo Newsletter Result Of The Week salad bowl for finishing 3 minutes ahead of the pack in the gruelling 50-mile 3/4/W/J race. Sam sprinted from the bunch to nab 10th while ROB ‘MANE MAN’ JEFFROY came 13th, giving Dynamo more placings in the top 15 than any other club. That’s how we like it! Plucky TOM DAVIES finished with the bunch in 19th place while CHRIS ‘BIG FISH’ HADDOCK got fried in the heat and quit an hour into the race. He was soon followed by CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, ADAM ‘YO-YO’ DOBBS and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, who blamed his seat post sliding down into his Trek’s seat tube. The twin-piston powerhouse wants this publication to point out that Jan Ullrich also pulled out of the Clasica San Sebastian this week for exactly the same reason. It happens to the best of us, mate! Meanwhile, Chadders’ flatmate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT made a rare lapse of judgement in the 67-mile E/1/2/3 race later that day when he missed the move and ended up in a break between the leader and the bunch. Dynamo’s quiet man still finished 7th, which is just as well in the Newsletter’s opinion, because if he was further up the finishing sheet then he might have become embroiled in the brou-ha-ha over eventual winner Ashley Freeman allegedly breaking a gentleman’s agreement not to contest the finish. Stay out of it, Tom – he’s not worth it!

SHEET SNEAKS
Unstoppable CHRIS CHAPMAN was back for more punishment at Hillingdon on Tuesday – and the sneaky lad managed to sign on the starting sheet for the E/1/2/3 race with a little bit of inside help from ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY. Chadders’ 3rd cat licence is still in the post, which means that under an obscure BCF bylaw passed in 1842 he has to stay in 4th cat races for the time being. But Mike, who was manning the signing-on desk, let the eager lad race with the big boys anyway. You better pray Surrey League bruiser Keith ‘Two Pumps’ Butler doesn’t get to hear about this, fellas! Chris managed a perfectly respectable 16th place in the race which also saw Cyclefit sensation WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE take 7th after staying in a seven-man break with Lewis Atkins – an oddly similar situation to Chris’s at Ninfield. Chadders’ pal TOM HEMMANT revealed the race was “very fast with lots of attacks” while Dynamo newcomer PHIL SHEEHAN, who managed to grab 14th despite recovering from a damaged Achilles and knee, said he had “a very pleasant evening racing with my new club mates”. You’re going to make lots of new friends, chum!

SICK AS A PARROT
The same can’t be said of CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, who almost made an enemy of a fellow Dynamate in the 4/W/J race. Brave TOM DAVIES managed to stay in a break until Chris, thinking his team-mate had got clean away, hauled the bunch from the front and accidentally caught the lead group in the final lap. Whoops! And after his huge yet pointless effort, the exhausted former fatman could only muster 9th place. Concerned RORY ‘GLORY GLORY’ PARK commented to Chris after the race that he “looked a bit peaky” and the Parkride regular, who had succumbed to a tummy bug earlier in the day, confessed to feeling very dizzy on the final lap. He wasn’t the only one under the weather – BILL GILBERT, who was mixing things up nicely at the front of the bunch on his Hillingdon debut, witnessed an unidentified rider chucking his guts up at the closing stages of the race. He won’t try drinking the water from the taps in the clubhouse portaloo again!

THAT’S OLDRIDGE NEWS!
Mild-mannered Dynamate ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE has been busy racking up the points recently and now it’s the Newsletter’s proud duty to bring everyone bang up to date with all the impressive results he has achieved during the past month. He was 3rd at Crystal Palace on July 13, 5th on July 27 and 7th in the Surrey League “World Championships” handicap race on July 18. He also took 7th, 8th and 6th at Eelmore on July 21, August 4 and August 8 respectively. John reveals: “The bad news is I have now ended up as a 2nd cat. It looks like I will have to race against the hard men from now on.” You’re already a hard man, pal! And as we’re playing catch-up, we’d better mention DAVID NORRIS fine effort at the London Triathlon a couple of weeks ago. The big fella did the bike section as part of a team and covered the 40km course in 1.09.06 – the 13th fastest time. His team came 21st out of 271 and they raised £500 for Macmillan Cancer Relief. Good work, sir!

WET’S HE ON ABOUT?
Your favourite chronicle of all matters Dynamesque is never afraid to admit to its occasional mistakes, yet it is with a heavy heart that the Newsletter is running the following correction, because it wasn’t totally inaccurate in the first place. In our issue dated July 30, we stated that GUY POWDRILL was “in the top 50 by the time he was out of the water” at Ironman Switzerland. In fact he was in the top 20. Guy has since stated repeatedly and insistently that he was the first non-professional to finish the swim. The Newsletter hopes and prays this will be the end of the matter.

ALL BURNT OUT
The national anthem has been played, the crowds are filing out of the stadium and an IOC official in an asbestos suit has extinguished the Olympic flame. We’ll be back next Friday – and until then, please remember that we are the British cycling team but we would be nothing without you, our World Class Performance Programme. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as Chris Hoy gets clipped into his pedals, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, 9am. There’s going to be another change. Last week’s experiment succeeded in blocking the car park, so this Saturday’s meeting point is the roundabout by Sheen Gate. Don’t worry if you don’t know the way – come to Roehampton Gate and the Dyna-management will point the way. As ever, there will be four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and CHRIS HADDOCK’s delicious Dorset Knob.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Three fast laps.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, JULY 18, SOUTH EAST DIVISION “WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP” HANDICAP ROAD RACE, HENFOLD HILL, E/1/2/3/4/W/J, 100km: 1. Bryan Taylor (VC De Londres); 2 Andrers Christensen (unatt); 3 Adrian Goatley (Freerider Cycles); 4 Graham Wood (Luciano-Fondriest); 5 Frank Sanz (Pearson Cycles); 6. Alex Atkins (Evans Cycles); 7 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 Andy Seltzer (East Grinstead); 9 William Pearson (Pearson Cycles); 10. Andrew Harvey (Kingston Wheelers); 15. Richard Varian (Epsom).

SUNDAY, AUGUST 8, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE CHAMPIONSHIPS, NINFIELD, E/1/2/3, 67 miles: 1 Ashley Freeman (Kingsnorth International) 2:48:49; 2 Tony Gibb (Ploughman Craven) +0:10; 3 John Ibbotson (Pacific Racing); +0:21; 4 John Veness (Evans Cycles); 5 Gary Dodd (Sigma Sport) +2:10; 6 Christopher McNamara (Team Synergy) +3:20; 7 TOM HEMMANT LONDON DYNAMO; 8 Simon McNamara (Team Synergy); 9 Andrew Meilak (Poshbikes.com); 10 Simon Lawn (Sigma Sport).
3/4/W/J, 50 MILES: 1 Peter Tadros (In Gear) 2:09:01; 2 Lewis Atkins (Ciclos Uno) +1:28; 3 William Thompson (Pacific Racing); 4 Jim McManus (Interbike); 5 Rober Smith (VC Etoile) 6 Richard Heathcote (I-team.com) 7 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 Mark Perryman (VC Etoile); 9 Mark Hutt (Hounslow and District Wheelers); 10 SAM HUMPHESON (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 Alan Hainsworth (Beyond MTB); 12 Nick Whitney (Tunbridge Wells); 13 ROBERT JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 14 Max Ramirez (Addiscombe); 15 Marek Siwicki (Addiscombe); 16 Rod Freeman (Twickenham); 17 Craig Beech (Interbike); 18 Andrew Wills (VC Deal); 19 TOM DAVIES (LONDON DYNAMO); 20 Andrew Seltzer (East Grinstead).

TUESDAY, AUGUST 10, BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, E/1/2/3, 51KM: 1 James Flanagan (Milton Keynes) 1:6:31; 2 Lewis Atkins (Ciclos Uno); 3 Chris Doel (Team Quest); 4 J. Stewart (London Irish); 5 A. Young (Python RT); 6 R. Morgan (Parrot Print RT); 7 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 M. Wilmot (Team Quest) + 0.35; 9 P. Crook (Angliasport/Condor) +1:02; 10 V. Halpern (Twickenham) st; 11 S. Hammer (unatt) st; 12 GUY ANDREWS (LONDON DYNAMO) st; 13 J. Foster (Willesden) st; 14 PHIL SHEEHAN (LONDON DYNAMO) st; 15 T. Underhill (Finsbury Park) st; 16 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO) st; 17 S. Oglesbury (Hemel Hempstead) st; 18 Des Gayler (Kenton RC) st; 19 K. Falvey (Willesden) st; 20 E. Graefe (Economic Energy).
4/W/J, 45KM: 1 James Leach (Didcot Phoenix); 2 C. Stocker (unatt); 3 T.Goodchild (unatt); 4 A. Araujo (unatt); 4= S. Miambo (Economic Energy); 5 Jessica Stoddart (Interbike RT); 6 G. Pettit (Hillingdon); 7 B. Ward (Finsbury Park); 8 J. Dibden (IT.Co.UK); 9 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO).

London Dynamo Newsletter #21, 20.08.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #21, 20.08.04

WAY OUT IN FRONT
A typical day in the darkened Newsletter info-bunker consists of keeping an eye on the brilliant results spewing out of the Dynamo ticker tape machine while watching Sean Kelly: King Of Comedy on DVD, which means that occurrences in the real world often pass us by. This week, however, an event has come along to burst our bubble of cycling silliness and make us realise what’s really important in life. We’re talking, of course, about National Cleavage Week. Would it be remiss to ignore such an important cultural milestone? Of corset would – so we’ll do our very breast to pay homage to it in this edition of Dynamatic reportage. It’s chest a bit of fun and although there are bound to be a few outraged readers, their complaints will simply be a storm in a D-cup. Now where did we put that enormous bra…

NAMED AND SHAMED
He’s been known as Hemant, Hemnaun and been famously reduced to a mere Remnant – and now TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, the rider who has had more misspelled entries on this season’s results sheets than any other Dynamate, has suffered the ultimate syntactical indignity. Hillingdon’s organisers spelled his name as G-U-Y A-N-D-R-E-W-S on last week’s list of finishers in the E/1/2/3 race and the Newsletter made a right tit of itself when we reprinted their boob in our Small Print section. That’s write out of order! As Tom’s housemate CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN points out: “Guy was given 11th place – even though he pulled out on the last lap so he wouldn’t get involved when the elbows started to fly.” We apologised to Dynamo’s quiet man – but the point-gobbling star, who is often chided by style-conscious Captain Mainwaring for riding a “shonky” Ribble, claimed: “I’m proud to be mistaken for the cycling legend that is Guy Andrews. I think the reason they mistook me for him is because my bike looks very similar to his Merckx.” He’s not going to like that, pal! Hopefully the Hillingdon crew won’t make the same mistake when they issue the results for this week’s race, which saw Tom put in another awesome performance. ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDGIDGE, who managed to get away a couple of times in the same race, revealed: “Tom did a great ride, getting away in a three-man break with Tony Gibb. They managed to lap the field and Tom was 3rd.” What a way to end the series!

A BONG TIME COMING
The sun set quite literally on the last Tuesday race of the season, with Tom and John crossing the line in almost total darkness – but Goodwood celebrated a brave new dawn just a couple of days before as ‘BIG’ BEN PURCELL chimed onto the racing scene with a mighty bong. The Cannondale-riding debutante, who has been a familiar face on the Surrey hills ride for quite some time, clinched 4th in his very first race by hurtling through the precarious right-hand side of the chicane on the final lap as a group of unlucky riders hit the turf. Clock a load of that! Hirsute hero ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY also grabbed his ticket to category 3 by coming in two places behind Ben in the 52KM contest. And there was more Dynamagic in the E/1/2 race as TOM HEMMANT romped home in 7th place despite puncturing after PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN gapped him off into the break. Dynamo’s race secretary was in a second split with his best buddy RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT – and Paul reveals: “Everyone packed bar me and Russell. He did a last lap solo to finish 100 metres ahead of me. I let him go, thinking I’d catch him. Doh – that little tinker!” You’ll get him next time, pal!

THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES
We’ve had the bust time ever reading and compiling all your tit-bits, but unfortunately it’s time for us to cover up our huge assets. We’ll be back next week – so until then, remember that we are a gorgeous, pouting Jordan, but we would be considerably inconvenienced without you, our sturdy over-the-shoulder boulder holders. So please keep sending us your news, gossip, and further sightings of enigmatic glamourpuss KEN ‘BUSTY’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a footballer chats us up in an Essex nitespot, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roundabout by Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a copy of Breaking Distances: A Guide For Elderly Policemen by JOE STEGERS.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Three fast laps.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, AUGUST 15, SURREY LEAGUE GOODWOOD RACES, E/1/2, 80KM: 1 Paul Pickup (Liphook Cycles); 2 Simon Brooks (VC St Raphael); 3 Graham Wood (Team Luciano); 4 Steve Ferguson (Team Maestro); 5 Jason Edwards (Tunbridge Wells); 6 Russell Page (SP Systeams); 7 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 Robin Didymus (Principia); 9 Simon Smith (Comedy Superteam); 10 Vince Halpern (Twickenham) 11 Tim Costello (Southdown Velo); 11= Jeff Baird (Twickenham); 11= Richard Pearman (Team Axiom); 11= Mark Pettit (Freerider); 11= Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells); 11= Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 11= John Scripps (VC Londres); 11= Dave Roberts (East Grinstead); 11= Richard Heathcote (I-team.co.uk); 11= Ian Donohue (Team Axiom); 21 Jimmy Finch (unatt); 22 Liam Terry (Southdown Velo); 23 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 24 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 25 Kevin Blann (Team Luciano); 26 Daniel James (Team Axiom); 27 Pete Moore (SP Systeams).
4/W/J, 52KM: 1 Toby Goodchild (unatt); 2 Driss Jones (VC Etoile); 3 Andy Jones (I-team.co.uk); 4 BEN PURCELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Paul Gosling (Brighton Excelsior); 6 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Gareth Dickenson (Team Luciano) 8 Matt Howard (VC Jubilee); 9 Peter Mitchell (VC Jubilee).

London Dynamo Newsletter #22, 27.08.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #22, 27.08.04

MOTOR MOUTH
Like any respectable publication, your favourite weekly journal of all things Dynamatic abides by a strict code of conduct to ensure that nothing in our weekly updates offends you, our sensitive readership. In our last edition, however, we broke our rigidly enforced rule of decorum by mentioning ladies’ breasts, which also earned us a stern ticking off from Mrs Newsletter – and now, in the interests of reporting recent events at a certain motor circuit, we have no choice but to engage in more rudeness. So prepare yourself, startled reader, for a blow-by-blow account of how a highly-esteemed Dynamo member carried out a verbal assault on a rival this week, thus demonstrating that his mouth is filthier than Hillingdon’s bogs. Here comes one of the finest impersonations of Robbie McEwen you’re ever likely to see…

GOODWOOD GRIEF
He’s not just a pretty face, you know! And MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON certainly proved it this week when he got behind the wheel of the Dynamobile to become the club’s unofficial directeur sportif for the day. The chiselled hunk exercised his keen organisational mind to the full when he hired a minibus to drive CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, PHIL ‘HOOP SHOOTER’ SHEEHAN, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and his young pal Triathlon Tom to Goodwood on Sunday. But the delightful Day-namo out in sunny Sussex was to end in a controversial incident. Mike tore the 2/3 race to pieces as part of a nine-man leading group before it was whittled down to five in the closing stages – and as he shot across the line in 2nd place, dockers in nearby Portsmouth were seen to blush as they heard the normally mild-mannered medic explode in a potty-mouthed rage. It turned out that cheeky rival Richard Heathcote from i-team hadn’t been doing his fair share of work during the 80km contest, which meant he was able to get away when he attacked on the first corner of the final lap. What a rotter! So the mad-as-hell medic unleashed his verbal scalpel afterwards, volubly labelling Heatcote an illegitimate child within earshot of the aghast crowd. Nasty! Surrey League’s big fella Keith ‘I’ll Get You’ Butler showed admirable restraint with his mild rebuke, telling Mike: “You’ve every right to be angry, but you shouldn’t have used that sort of language, son.” You tell him, Keith! But fuming Mike was still in a rage as he arrived in the car park, even criticising Heathcote’s ginger colouring as he packed his Giant TCR back into the Dynamobile. Thankfully, the usually level-headed Debney calmed down after the merry band of Dynamates stopped at a garage for snacks on the way back to Roehampton Gate. It’s amazing what a Ginsters pasty can do to ease the pain!

THEY TRI-ED THEIR BEST
Mike’s initial tirade was witnessed by stunned Martin, who was already lying in a state of shock on a grass verge by the side of the track having pulled out halfway through the race. The Weybridge wonder admitted he felt “terrible” – and not too far away, another Dynamo triathlete was also having a spot of bother. Appropriately enough, twin-piston powerhouse GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL had mechanical problems at Sherbourne which forced him to abandon the 1800-strong race. Nevertheless, the swimming sensation was 11th out of the water before disaster struck on the bike leg of the triathlon. He reveals: “The chain kept slipping in the big ring. I had to stop three times to put it back on – then it snapped after about 20 miles. I had to wait two hours to get taken back to the start and nearly died of hypothermia.” Bad luck, mate! Dynamo’s in-house mechanic SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, who narrowly missed out on winning the 3/4 race at Crystal Palace on Tuesday after a thrilling sprint finish, got his team of experts to examine Guy’s Trek. Their verdict? The groupset was completely – ahem – fornicated, as was the seat post clamp which forced him to pull out of the Surrey League champs at Ninfield recently. The Newsletter feels there is a lesson to be learnt here. As RUSSELL SHORT has been known to point out: “Look after your bike, and your bike will look after you.” Wise words, mate!

BOUNCING BACK
It’s when plagued with such bad luck, not to mention bad language, that each of us looks for a clean-cut hero to emerge – and the man to fill that daunting mantle is none other than Dynamo new boy PHIL ‘HOOP SHOOTER’ SHEEHAN. The plucky fella had an off-putting weekend, almost getting thumped as he broke up a domestic which was taking place in the middle of the road and getting propositioned by a lady in a chemically-altered mood who took a fancy to his “lovely thighs”. And that was just on his journey to the Parkride! Then, after what he describes as a “shocking” day at Goodwood, the former basketball player bounced back by bagging 3rd in the 3/4 race at Milton Keynes on Thursday. Nice job, fella! Phil reckons his great result was “thanks to Gary at Cyclefit who tweaked my riding position after I suffered some horrific knee pain.” High praise indeed! You too can find out how our friends in Covent Garden can help you achieve similarly impressive feats by visiting the Macklin Street boutique on Wednesday night at 7pm for a special “meet the sponsors” evening. Find out what a LeWedge is, marvel at some of the most desirable bikes in the world, and ask elder statesman PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL exactly why he is now riding a Brompton. Perhaps it’s true what they say: Getting older? Then get a folder!

IT’S HEMM AGAIN!
No edition of the Newsletter would be complete without TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT attempting unsuccessfully to deflect the spotlight away from another of his superb results, so here it goes. Dynamo’s quiet man reveals that Dynamette LUCY DOVE came 5th at the last round of the women’s series at Hillingdon on Friday. That’s lovely stuff! But it cannot disguise the fact that Tom came 4th at the E/1/2 race at Crystal Palace on Tuesday after grabbing 2nd place on Saturday at Benenden in Kent. Tom says of the 120KM 1/2/3 race: “There were 12 of us in a breakaway before we split it to five and then three. On the last lap Steven Gowar turned on the ‘Gowar Power’ and attacked, leaving just two of us who sprinted for second.” Regular readers will be able to guess how this textbook Hemmant report ends. That’s right – the race organisers spelled his name wrong yet again on the finishing sheet. “Hemnant” indeed – they never learn!

MAKING HIS MARK
Plying his trade even more humbly than Tom, MARK ‘NOT TOO FANCY’ ANSTEY has been diligently competing in the Eastway 10-mile time trials all season without once boasting about his efforts to the Newsletter. He finally got round to dropping us a line this week – and we’re glad that he did, because Mark came 1st in the Hitchin Nomads TT on August 15 with a time of 00:59:21. Clock a load of that! Mark admits: “Not a bad result for a bit of sticky morning, especially as I was the only one with normal road wheels.” Don’t let pimpin’ TT master GUY ANDREWS here you say that – he’ll have you splashing out on a pair of Zipps before you know it!

ALL WASHED OUT
After forcing us to wash our mouth out with soap and water, Mrs Newsletter has made us solemnly promise to keep a civil tongue in our head from now on. With a little bit of self-restraint, that’s something we should sodding well be able to achieve. Thanks an effing lot for all your contributions – and remember that while we are a massive you-know-what, we would be nothing without you bunch of c-words. So please keep sending us your news, gossip, and sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BUISTARD’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we turn the final page of Roger’s Profanisaurus, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a Sherbourne stodger.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Three fast laps. But, of course, you’ll probably want to join your favourite Dynamates at Cyclefit for their “meet the sponsors” evening. See the forum for full details.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
THURSDAY, AUGUST 15, HITCHIN NOMADS 25 MILE TIME TRIAL: 1 MARK ANSTEY (LONDON DYNAMO) (00:59:21); 2 H Vivian (Finsbury Park); 01:00:11; 3 M McVitty (Zenith); 01:00:21; 4 G Webb (Metropolitan Police); 01:00:49; 5 A Brooks (Crawley); 01:01:15; 6 N Pitt (Icknield); 01:01:27; 7 R Dadswell (Antelope RT) 01:01:43; 8 R Frowen (Banbury Star) 01:01:45; 9 O Goodspeed (Century RC) 01:01:48; 10 N Dymond (Army CU) 01:01:53.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 22, SURREY LEAGUE GOODWOOD RACES, 2/3, 80KM: 1 Richard Heathcote (I-team.co.uk); 2 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Kenton Kirkwood (Kingston Wheelers); 4 Jon Cannings (VC St Raphael); 5 Steve Ferguson (Team Maestro); 6 Toby Neave (Southdown) 7 James McVey (Kingston Wheelers); 8 Robert Stimpson (unatt); 9 Matt Wall (Freerider); 10 Mike Anderson (Team Velo); 24 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 31 PHIL SHEEHAN (LONDON DYNAMO).

SATURDAY, AUGUST 22, SOUTH EAST ROAD RACING LEAGUE, BENEDEN, 1/2/3, 120KM: 1 Steve Gowar (Pacific); 2 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) +3 mins ; 3 Chris Parlett (Gemini); 4 Steve Skuse (Kingsnorth); 5 Keir Williams (San Fairy Ann); 6 Simon Lawn (Sigma Sport); 7 William Bell (Gemini); 8 Mark Powell (VC Deal); 9 Paul Mill (Team Edwardes) 10 Ian Field (San Fairy Ann).

TUESDAY, AUGUST 24 – CRYSTAL PALACE CIRCUIT RACES, E/1/2: 1 Bryan Taylor (VC Londres); 2 Brett Perez (Freerider); 3 Jamie Newall (Evans); 4 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Guy Pearson (Pearsons Cycles).
3/4/W/J: 1 Matt Smith (Gemini BC); 2 SAM HUMPHESON (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Yves Milliere (Kingston Wheelers); 4 David Jones (Dulwich); 5 Sean McKibben (Dulwich) 6 Phillip Jones (Dulwich).

London Dynamo Newsletter #23, 03.09.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #23, 03.09.04

STREETS AHEAD
The blue, orange and black livery of the capital’s most stylish cycling squadron has become a much-admired feature at races all over the south east – but until this week, ordinary Londoners have been deprived of watching a finely-tuned group of Dynamo riders rocketing through their neighbourhood. So it’s hats off to kit-wearing PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, LUCY ‘DEMURE’ DOVE, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY and RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, who blazed a trail down the Mall on their way home after Cyclefit’s “meet the sponsor” evening on Wednesday. Their journey was a teaser for another historic Dynamo trip into the centre of town which you can read about in This Week’s Rides. But unfortunately the wheels came off the Dynamo train as the unlucky octet, who were map-less and hapless, split to pieces shortly before reaching the King’s Road. What a bunch of Charlies! The Newsletter hopes to avoid their example by steering a steady course to the end of this incident-packed edition of your favourite Dynamoid update – and we are sure to reach our destination with a little help from you, our trusty navigator. Now where did we put that A-Z…

FULL FOURS
We shouldn’t really complain about the intrepid eight’s rag-tag expedition as it was a pleasure just to see certain members of this select group outside the cosseted confines of Dynamo Towers. Weighed down by their own success, their jerseys stuffed with bundles of points amassed during the past six months, Dynamo’s high-achieving heavy-hitters have recently found it difficult to shift from the luxurious leather sofas in the exclusive bar at the top floor of the club’s impressive HQ. Thank goodness, then, for the plucky band of Dyna-minnows who refuse to believe the season is already over – and their determination paid off in spades this week when they dominated the 4s race at Hillingdon on Saturday. It was like the beginners’ series all over again! Breakaway specialist TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES led out NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK and CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, allowing them to bag 3rd and 6th place respectively. And cheeky 3rd cat CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD, who used his veteran’s privilege pass to secure a spot in the race, showed the young guns how it’s done by shooting past Campbell to grab 4th as his wife and kids cheered him on. Dad’s the way to do it, mate!

WATER DISAPPOINTMENT
But while there were cheers at Hillingdon, there were tears in Weybridge as weepy tri master MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON learned that twin-piston powerhouse GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL may be hanging up his skinsuit for good. Swim-crazy Guy, who often boasts that nobody can beat him in the water, opened his heart to the Newsletter as he revealed: “I’ll be in Seaford on Saturday doing my last triathlon of the year – and possibly forever.” Say it isn’t so, pal! At least he is set to go out on a high, as the results from the 4th Thames Turbo race seem to indicate. Guy took the No.4 spot overall, coming 3rd in the swim and 2nd on the bike. Wet a way to go! And true to form, Dynamette LUCY ‘DEMURE’ DOVE kept quiet about being the 2nd woman in her age group to cross the line in the same race. You can’t keep anything from us, love!

EURO STAR
Finally, apologies to PHIL ‘HOOP SHOOTER’ SHEEHAN for not mentioning his 300-odd mile charity ride to Paris in last week’s edition. Dynamo’s new boy, who is raising money for the Royal British Legion, set off for the French capital on Thursday – and you can donate by logging onto http://www.bmycharity.com/v2/philsheehan. Go on – you know it makes sense!

OVER AND LOUT
We’ve jumped our last red light, taken our final wrong turn and made more than our fair share of rude hand gestures at Her Majesty’s police officers. If anything, we hope our journey down more than one blind alley has proved to be a worthwhile diversion. Thanks for all your contributions – and please remember that while we are an intriguing side-street, we would be nothing without you, our sprawling super-highway. So please keep sending us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but please DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we wipe the streets’ grime from our sturdy mudguards, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Please note that the ride may be cancelled if the Park remains shut following Thursday’s tragic incident. Check the forum for updates.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 8.30am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a Union Jack. That’s right, patriotic Dynamates – the Tour of Britain is coming to London and the king of the capital’s cycling clubs will be riding from the depths of Surrey to the centre of town to catch the action. This week’s ride is shorter and starts half an hour earlier, giving the group enough time to reach Westminster at noon for the start of the E/1/2 crit – which will feature none other than TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT and WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE. Come on, you Dynamos! You can find out more details on the forum and chief surgeon ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY will be overseeing the operation. Let’s hope he can keep a civil tongue in his head this time!

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Three fast laps. Again, check the forum as the ride may be cancelled.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT

SATURDAY, AUGUST 28, BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J, 40KM: 1 Scott Wilson (Luciano Cycles) 01.01.12; 2 J. Howes (Hillingdon Slipstreamers); 3 NICK PEACOCK (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 CHRIS WARD (LONDON DYNAMO); S. Mlambo (Economic Energy); 6 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO).

MONDAY, AUGUST 30, THAMES TURBO TRIATHLON, RACE 4, PROVISIONAL RESULTS: 1 Stephen Bayliss (Addiscombe Cycling Club) 00:54:59; 2 Gavin Smith (Optima) 00:56:28; 3 Tom Langley (Thames Turbo Triathlon) 00:58:46; 4 GUY POWDRILL (LONDON DYNAMO) 00:58:59; 5 Euan Lees (Thames Turbo) 00:59:34; 6 Roger Barr (Swim For Tri) 01:00:21; 7 Gary Dykes (SBR Racing) 01:00:51; 8 Kevin Dean (Tri-Force) 01:02:11; 9 James Beckinsale (Optima) 01:02:40; 10 Oliver Roberts (01:02:48); 36 LUCY DOVE (LONDON DYNAMO) (01:08:31).

London Dynamo Newsletter #24, 10.09.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #24, 10.09.04

CAPITAL EFFORT
It’s the city that’s synonymous with black cabs, beefeaters, and the colour being royally trooped. It’s the throbbing heart of the nation, packed with pageantry and pomp. It’s also the place that Dynamates like to call home – and now, thanks to a thrilling display of power in the shadow of Parliament, the capital’s grandest cycling club has become as synonymous with London as red buses, bowler hats and dubious hot-dog carts. That’s right, proud reader – London Dynamo wowed the crowds in Westminster as the team secured two places in the top 25 among a top-flight field of 190 riders at the Bob Chicken criterium. That’s clucking amazing! So come with us as we journey once more to Whitehall to watch the sensational support race and the final stage of the Tour of Britain. Now where did we put that giant inflatable T-Mobile hand…

RIDE ON TIME
The big Day-namo out began with a special Sunday ride which replaced Box Hill in favour of a ceremonial procession into the centre of town. Eight honoured riders, most of whom were attired in distinguished Dynamo kit, waved at beaming passers-by as they coasted at monarchical pace along the Kings Road in glorious weather conditions. It really was sun-thing special! Ride co-ordinator ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY vowed to bring the group into Westminster at noon – and Big Ben struck 12 at the very moment the club’s ambassadors rolled into Parliament Square. Now that’s what we call surgical precision, doctor!

PRIME MOVER
A squadron of magnificent ‘Mos joined the Surrey Hill riders at the barriers along Whitehall in what was the biggest Dyna-mass turnout yet at any event. Step forward CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES, ADAM ‘YO-YO’ DOBBS, LUCY ‘DEMURE’ DOVE, MARTIN ‘LANKY’ GARRATT, CHRIS ‘BIG FISH’ HADDOCK, PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT, STUART ‘POSTAL’ JEFFREYS, DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS, NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, ‘BIG’ BEN PURCELL, ANDY ‘LISTEN UP’ STEVENSON, REBECCA ‘OBJECTION’ STUBBS, ROB ‘ALL WEATHER’ TUBBS, CRAIG ‘AUSSIE’ THOMPSON and many more who hollered encouragement at the quartet of Dynamates poised on the starting line. It wasn’t long before WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE’ showed the 190-strong pack a flash of Dynamagic by winning the first prime in style and pocketing a crisp £20 note for his efforts. Commanding as ever, the Cyclefit sensation freewheeled across the line as he turned around to give the losers of the intermediate sprint one of his signature long, hard stares. That showed ’em!

HUGH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
The crafty Kiwi later sent ripples of delight through the cluster of club members when he ended up placing a fantastic 5th overall – but there were plenty of Dyna-moans when opinionated race commentator Hugh Porter took a pot-shot at our very own TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT. With eight laps to go, Dynamo’s quiet man made a brave attempt to go off the front as tactless Porter bellowed: “Oh dear! Look at Hemnant’s ragged riding style! He’s never going to get away from the bunch like that!” What would you know, pal – you can’t even get his sodding name right! Unfazed at getting undeservedly slagged off in front of hundreds of people, Tom quickly recovered from his failed attack and finished brilliantly at 17th. So you can stuff that up your microphone, Porter!

FRAUGHT SHORT
Compact killer SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON, who pulled off a respectable bunch finish, proved the riders were hurtling around at a daredevil pace when he gave the Newsletter an exclusive glimpse of his cycle computer after the race had finished. It showed a thigh-shredding speed of 29.06mph – and that was just the average! Inevitably there were casualties as the bunch hurtled through the corners – and sadly RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT fell off the back after he was forced into a barrier. But despite not actually finishing the race, the little fella still managed to bag 24th place on the official results list. Incredible! Rusty’s pleasant surprise more than makes up for his frustration in the E/1/2/3 race at Hillingdon the day before, where he won the bunch sprint but didn’t pick up a single point as a 10-man break had managed to stay away. Bah! But at least he was able to give MARTIN ‘LANKY’ GARRATT a pat on the back in the clubhouse after the comeback kid finished his first race of the season following his accident. Welcome back to the fold, fella!

COASTING TO VICTORY
Milling around the Westminster circuit was none other than GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL – and he confirmed that his triathlon career has finally ended. But the jubilant twin-piston powerhouse was delighted to reveal he has finished on a high by bagging 1st place overall in a field of 300 at the South Coast Triathlon on Saturday. Lovely stuff! Tri novice DAVID ‘WEBMASTER’ SPENCE also put in an impressive result in Seaford, finishing 13th on a “bloody hot” day in the BTA members’ sprint distance race which comprised a 750m swim, 20km bike and 5km run. David reveals: “The sun and the heat were the challenges of the day with lots of otherwise sharp triathletes slowing to a walk as the run progressed. I was lucky enough to have the wife and lots of in-laws there to cheer and hand out water, which definitely helped keep me running. With six races under my belt, that’s it for my first season.” Have a well-deserved break, pal! David rightly points out that we failed to notice his name on the results sheet for the Thames Turbo Triathlon, where he bagged 75th place – “23 places higher than last time and the field was bigger.” And he has another gripe: “I was totally blanked by fellow Dynamate TOM HEMMANT.” Why on earth would he do that? It’s over to you, Tom!

BREAK OF DAVIES
He’s done it – he’s finally done it! After weeks of trying, tenacious TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES has managed to make a breakaway stick – and the industrious fella won a bright, shiny new BCF point for his efforts in the 46km 4/W/J race at Thruxton on Saturday. Well done, sir! The lank-haired lad worked solidly for five laps in the seven-man break before taking sixth in the sprint – but he still isn’t happy. Tom reveals: “It was shambolic. I’m going to take up lead-out man as a full-time job instead.” Trusty wheel-sucker NICK ‘BOMBSHELL’ PEACOCK, who graduated to 3rd cat at Hillingdon this week, will be delighted to hear that, Tom!

RUBBLY JUBBLY
Newly-enrolled Dynamette PETA McSHARRY dropped us a line to say she’s “hooked” on the Parkride after turning up for the first time last Saturday. That’s what we like to hear! And Peta has jetted off to Athens after getting some great news – she’s been selected from more than 500 applicants to be one of the 60 sports massage therapists at the Paralympics. Now we know who to ask for a rub-down after four strenuous laps of Richmond Park!

A LITTLE BIT MOORE
Dynamo dangerman CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD will be out of harm’s way from Monday when he begins the biggest ride yet by any club member. The international man of leisure is cycling from Land’s End to John O’Groats with his chum Kevin, who many members will remember from Cyclefit’s Mallorca training camp. They’re doing the ride for the Bobby Moore and Lance Armstrong cancer charities and you can donate by logging onto http://www.theplaygroupcharity.blogspot.com. Chris will also be posting details of his progress on the site. Let’s hope the infamous risk-taker stops pedalling before turning on his laptop!

FITTING ‘EM IN
We’re almost out of space in this bumper edition of your favourite weekly info-blast of all matters Dynamatic, but there’s just time to mention some special Dynamo discounts at Cyclefit. The Macklin Street marvels are offering 30% off fitting services, 30% of cardio testing, 20% off coaching services, 5% off Merckx and Serotta frames plus a whopping 50% discount on a three-week altitude training package. Apparently it’s the height of fashion among the pros!

OUTTA SIGHTS
We’ve watched the changing of the guard, we’ve gone to St Paul’s cathedral to relive the tear-swelling moment when Charles took Di up the aisle, and now we’re having a well-deserved lie down in our hotel room while watching Battlefield Earth on the in-house movie channel. Many thanks for all your entertaining contributions this week. We hope you have enjoyed our whistle-stop tour of London, but please remember that we are merely a tour guide and we would be nothing without you, our jaunty open-top bus. So please keep sending us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘CONDUCTOR’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we pick up the phone to order an Irish coffee from room service, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a free Eddy Merckx cap, complements of Cyclefit (customers must purchase a carbon frame GX2 and fork priced £1,899 to qualify for this offer. Terms and conditions apply. See in-store for details.)

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Three fast laps.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, SOUTH CIRCUIT LEAGUE NO.7, THRUXTON MOTOR CIRCUIT, 4/J/W, 46KM: 1 Garth Kruger (Solent); 2 Mark Rickaby (unatt); 3 Robert Foskett (Swindon); 4 Keith Tucker (Bournemouth Arrow); 5 Charlie Elsey (Newbury); 6 TOM DAVIES (LONDON DYNAMO).

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J, 40KM: 1 Victor Anderson (unatt); 2 A. Aldham-Breary (Ciclos Uno); 3 E. Young (Hounslow And District Wheelers); 4 R. West (unatt); 5 D. Magona (Ciclos Uno); 6. NICK PEACOCK (LONDON DYNAMO).

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, BOB CHICKEN LONDON GRAND PRIX, E1/2: 1 Mark Cavindish (Team Persil); 2 Dean Downing (Recycling.co.uk); 3 James Taylor (City Of Edinburgh); 4 Frank Van Heyzelbroucke (Navigators); 5 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Simon Cope (Team Edwardes); 7 Ross Muir (Velo Ecosse); 8 Sean Yates (CSC); 9 Ian Holt (Prestige VC); 10 Brian Taylor (VC Londres); 11 Nic Tilling (Anglia Sport); 12 Simon Gaywood (Luton); 13 Ashley Holding (Tunbridge Wells); 14 Craig Stephens (Ciclos Uno); 15 Tom White (Team Persil); 16 Matthew Talbot (Glendene); 17 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 18 Nick Dibble (Climb On Bikes); 19 Jamie Newell (Evans); 20 Gary Flint (In Gear); 21 Steve Cummings (Sport And Publicity); 22 Andy Lyons (Parrot Print); 23 Richard Whitehorn (Glendene); 24 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 25 Justin Hoy (Evans).

London Dynamo Newsletter #25, 17.09.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #25, 17.09.04

BREEZY DOES IT
Can you hear it, Dynamates? Can you hear that familiar whistle calling time on the summer? Mrs Newsletter certainly can – and she wrapped herself in a chunky duvet the moment she heard the shrill sound of the winter wind squeezing in through the tiny gap at the foot of the door to our soundproof bunker. She’ll probably be hibernating in her feathery cocoon until July! But unlike the first lady of this well-respected organ, Dynamo’s tempestuous big-hitters certainly aren’t afraid of a few chilly gusts – and the breezy buddies went down a storm by blowing away the opposition this week at Cutmill and the team champs in Chertsey. So glide along with us on a steady current as we show you how they proved their blustery rivals are full of hot air. Here comes the first gale…

EVANS ABOVE!
He loves it when a plan comes together! Chief strategist PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN has been walking around Dynamo Towers with a huge grin on his face ever since ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON and MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON conquered a retail giant at the E/1/2/3 South East Team Championship on Saturday. That’s right, stunned reader – the Evans riders were no match for Dynamo’s fab four, particularly Tom who got in a break, dropped back to the bunch when he realised none of his team-mates were around and then pulled them back onto the escaping group. Now that’s tactics! Dynamo’s quiet man reveals: “At one point Mike was in front of me when I spotted Paul Pickup starting to attack, so I just shouted at Mike to go and he was on Paul’s wheel.” Talk about organised – and they did the whole race a man down! Our awsome foursome missed the break of three that ended up finishing about 50m ahead of the bunch – but Tom, Mike and Martin got 7th, 10th and 13th respectively in the sprint. Add up those positions and you get a score of 30, which was enough to put London Dynamo in 3rd place overall with Evans taking 4th. Result! More amazingly, the cracking quartet almost didn’t race after WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE pulled out due to illness and GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS dropped out because of a mechanical, leaving them two men short of a full team before the race began. Thank goodness they spotted Martin strolling across the car park – and full credit to the Weybridge wonder for agreeing to race even though he wasn’t feeling too good. There’s only one downside to the race – we just can’t get Paul to shut up! “We beat Evans, didn’t we?” That’s right, Paul. “Did I mention Justin Hoy was last?” Possibly, Paul. “Oh yes – I forgot to mention we beat Evans.” Enough, already!

DRAFTY RESOLUTION
It’s not just the club’s Dyna-magnificent performance at Chertsey that has got Paul joyously bursting into the Newsletter bunker and letting in a huge draft as he flings open the door. The club’s official race secretary has been gleefully raiding our stationery draw for as many pens, paperclips and staplers he can stuff into his jersey’s rear pockets because he wants to look impressively organised when he passes a resolution or two at London Dynamo’s inaugural annual general meeting. The date of the AGM, along with more details, will be announced shortly – and this could be your chance to get a swanky job in the executive offices at the top of Dynamo Towers. As with most gravy trains and closed shops, the procedure is as simple as it is corrupt. Just make up a position and then nominate yourself – it’s as easy as taking the first corner at Goodwood. We’re hoping that MIKE ‘EXPLETIVE DELETED’ DEBNEY puts himself forward as Dynamo’s Minister for Anglo-Saxon – but that’s not effing likely!

WEAR HAVE THEY ALL GONE?
After plying Paul with as many big marker pens as we could find, we bundled the happy lad out of our cosy bolt-hole and into the lift – but two minutes later he was back with an urgent message from our pals at Cyclefit. It seems our sponsors having been flogging loads of dashing Dynamo kit to their customers – so ANDY ‘LISTEN UP’ STEVENSON and other members who have yet to don the brilliant blue, black and orange of the south-east’s sexiest cycling club had better get over to Macklin Street pretty sharpish. The Covent Garden crew also has a limited stock of gilets to keep you warm throughout the off-season. Some members may balk at the idea of wearing a sleeveless garment – but there’s no arm in trying it out!

WARD’S HE UP TO?
While we’re on the subject of devilishly handsome uniforms, the Newsletter is pleased to see that CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD has taken up our suggestion of featuring more photos of him dressed in Dynamo kit on his website. Regular readers will already know that the international man of leisure is cycling from Lands End to John O’Groats with his chum Kevin Fitzgerald – and he contacted the Newsletter on Thursday morning to let us know that he has made it to Bristol. Ward a relief! You can find out more about Chris’s charity ride, make a donation, or catch up with his progress at http://www.theplaygroupcharity.blogspot.com. His mobile number is also on the site – so send him a text message to show that his Dynamates are thinking of him in his hour of need!

CHAD’S THE WAY TO DO IT
Back now to the red-hot racing action – and it was CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN who impressed at the Surrey League Team Championship at Chertsey which kicked off a couple of hours before the E/1/2/3 race. With a strong wind down the finishing straight stopping breaks getting away, the former mountain biker had to try his luck in the bunch sprint and ended up finishing in 6th place. Way to go, pal! His housemate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, who watched the 80km race, reveals: “Chris cruised across the line. Everyone around him was sprinting hard while he was spinning at 110rpm and admiring the wildlife in the grass verge.” He makes it look so easy! And hearty praise goes out to REBECCA ‘OBJECTION’ STUBBS, as PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN reveals: “Loads of guys pulled out and she finished very comfortably in the bunch as the only lady. She was off the front at one point!”

A HEMM-KNOWN QUANTITY
Ever the gentleman, Chadders has returned Tom’s favourable words about his performance by praising his friend’s premier calendar debut. As Chris predicted, Dynamo’s quiet man didn’t tell the Newsletter that he took part in the 170km Neil Gardener Memorial Race, but his chum points out: “Tom was racing against the likes of the Downing brothers – part of the Recycling crew who turned up with two team cars and race radios. And despite racing the previous day at Chertsey, he still managed to come a very impressive 32nd. That’s 32nd out of more than 100 riders, most of whom would have been elites.” But you know what’s coming next! Dynamo’s most frequently misspelled rider suffered another finishing sheet insult – and instead of just getting his name wrong, the race organisers simply listed Tom as “unknown”. If this carries on, we’re going to sue on his behalf!

CLOUD NINTH
The ever-competitive DOMINIC ‘I WANT IT ALL’ PAUL is another high-achieving Dynamate in the mould of Hemmant – but compared with Tom, his appearances in the Newsletter are relatively infrequent as he is One Of Them. You guessed it – Dom’s a triathlete, and we were pleased to learn this week that he is presently ranked 9th in the British series. Nice one! Dom competed at the National Olympic Distance Championships in Liverpool last weekend and managed to finish 4th out of 100 competitors in the 30-34 age group. He clocked up a time of 2hrs 2mins on the technical course including 1hr for the 25-mile bike – but he just missed out on a medal. There’s always next year! The discerning athlete described this periodical as “very good” before adding: “If I can only make time for a few bike races I might lose my 4th cat tag yet!” You’d better get your Sidis on – it’s already September!

CUTMILL DOWN TO SIZE
There’s barely enough room in this bumper edition of your favourite Dynamatic update to mention all the ups and downs of Sunday’s hilly rollercoaster at Cutmill, so we’ll leave it to ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY to sum up the 115km race in three words: “Ouch, ouch, ouch.” The 2nd and 3rd cat competition saw MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT looking super strong in his first Surrey League event this season and Mike spent two lonely, painful laps bridging across to the break after RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT fell back into the bunch. Bad luck, pal! Mike let two riders get away before sitting at the back of an eight-man group until the final climb where he managed to secure 4th place. The tough guy revealed: “It was so, so hard!” Mike also points out that ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY finished 10th in the 80km 3/4/W/J race after racing at Chertsey the day before. Have a lie down, sir – you deserve it!

KEN WATCH!
He’s back! After many, many weeks, much-loved mystery man KEN BUIST has surfaced on our radar with an uncommonly vocal appearance in Richmond Park. Eagle-eyed spotter ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY reveals: “I was fixing my rear wheel at Roehampton Gate when I heard someone shout ‘Get off the f***ing phone’ in a distinctive Kiwi accent. I looked up and saw Ken gesticulating at a petrified-looking lady in a white Renault Clio – but she was on her mobile.” Good for you, Ken! TOM HEMMANT has pointed out that the wily Antipodean is on the pre-entry sheet for a 106km race in Steeple, Essex next month, so we reckon he’s getting in some training for the big day. Now everyone’s going to swoop on Richmond Park in the hope of spotting the south-east cycling scene’s Greta Garbo! If you manage to catch a glimpse of Ken, then send a Dyna-mail to news@londondynamo.co.uk. And remember – no detail of your encounter, no matter how small, is ever considered irrelevant or overly-obsessive. This is Ken Watch, after all!

WIND-ING DOWN
This week’s whirlwind of Dynamo-related news has finally abated, so you are all free to leave your emergency shelters and carry on with your everyday lives. Many thanks for all your contributions this week. Always remember that we are a calming zephyr but we would be nothing without you, our awesome Hurricane Ivan – so please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BLUSTER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. But DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a gentle breeze rustles the leaves at the top of Box Hill, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a poor excuse.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. A steady canter to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, SOUTH EAST TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, MoD CHERTSEY, E/1/2/3, 100KM, TEAM RANKINGS: 1 VC Meudon (13); 2 Liphook Cycles (15); 3 LONDON DYNAMO (30); 4 Evans Cycles (33); 5 Freerider Cycles (33); 6 VC Meudon (54).
RACE RESULT: 1 Peter Kench (Liphook) 1:38:05; 2 Jamie Newall (Evans); 3 Warren Jesse (VC Meudon); 4 Anders Christensen (VC Meudon); 5 Paul Pickup (Liphook); 6 Steven Richards (VC Meudon); 7 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 8 Brett Perez (Freerider); 9 Lee Day (Liphook); 10 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 Connor Henry (Freerider); 12 David McMullen (Evans) 13 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO); 14 Darrell Pembroke (Freerider); 15 Dean Frost (Liphook); 16 David Larcombe (VC Meudon); 17 Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 18 David Creeggan (VC Meudon); 19 John Veness (Evans); 20 Robert Cranstone (VC Meudon); 21 Garry Clark (Evans); 22 Justin Hoy (Evans) @ 1 lap.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, SURREY LEAGUE TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, MoD CHERTSEY, 2/3/4/J/W, 80KM, TEAM RANKINGS: 1 Southborough & District (32); 2 Addiscombe (32); 3 Twickenham (50); 4 LONDON DYNAMO (55); 5 Tunbridge Wells (57); 6 VC Meudon (60); 7 I-team.co.uk (77); 8 Freerider (86); 9 Brighton Mitre (120); 10 Farnborough & Camberley (124); 10 Kingston Wheelers (124).
RACE RESULT: 1 Neil Whelan (Southborough & District) 1:11:20; 2 Lee Smith (VC Meudon/Charlotteville); 3 Raymond Healey (Twickenham); 4 Paul Tunnell (Addiscombe); 5 Marek Siwicki (Addiscombe); 6 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 David Griffths (Twickenham); 8 Jon Lewis (Freerider); 9 unidentified (number 85); 10 Andy Jones (I-team.co.uk); 11 Mark Denton (Southborough & District); 12 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells); 13 N Robertson (Nomads/Addiscombe); 14 Stephen Ferris (VC Meudon); 15 Robert Fallon (Nomads/Addiscombe); 16 Michael Crockford (Gravesend/Meudon/Sigma); 17 Jonathan Maher (Gravesend/Meudon/Sigma); 18 John Danter (VC Meudon); 19 Gary Moore (Tunbridge Wells); 20 Ben Mitchell (Southborough & District); 21 Mark Skinner (Brighton Mitre); 22 ADAM DOBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 23 Guy Watson (I-team.co.uk); 24 Brian Tidey (Addiscombe); 25 Brian Thompson (Addiscombe); 26 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells); 27 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 28 Jim Orr (VC Meudon); 29 Andrew Dilkes (VC Meudon/Charlotteville); 30 Mark Bremner (VC Meudon); 31 Andrew Harvey (Kingston Wheelers); 32 TOM DAVIES (LONDON DYNAMO); 33 Rod Saxby (Freerider); 34 Philip Riley (Southborough & District); 35 Chris Howard (Southborough & District); 36 REBECCA STUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 37 Ian Jeffrey (Old Portlians); 38 Anthony Mott (VC Meudon); 39 Graham Kinsey (Farnborough & Camberley); 40 Jeff Baird (Twickenham) 41 Mick McManus (Twickenham); 42 James Bates (Farnborough & Camberley); 43 Adam Witherington (Farnborough & Camberley); 44 Andy MacFarlane (I-team.co.uk); 45 Mario Manelfi (Freerider); 46 Tim Lawn (Kingston Wheelers); 47 Nick de Sancha (Kingston Wheelers); 48 Jason Edwards (Tunbridge Wells); 49 Toby Leyton (Brighton Mitre); 50 Rob Fuller (Brighton Mitre); 51 Nick Haskoll (Brighton Mitre); 52 Stephen Cave (Nomads/Addiscombe); 53 Daniel Manelfi (Freerider); 54 Colin Summerfield (Gravesend/Meudon/Sigma); 55 Eugene Bardwell (Southdown Velo).

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12; NEIL GARDNER MEMORIAL TROPHY ROAD RACE, CRANFIELD UNIVERSITY, E/1; 170KM: 1 Dean Downing (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 2 Russell Downing (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 3 Mark Lovatt (Planet-X); 4 Malcolm Elliot (Pinarello); 5 Robin Sharman (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 6 Andrew Young (Python); 7 Kevin Dawson (Planet X); 8 Grant Bayton (Angliasport); 9 Matthew Stephens (Sigma Sport); 10 Duncan Urqhart (PrestigeVC.com); 11 Gary Baker (Angliasport); 12 Ben Greenwood (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 13 Colin Roshier (Team Quest); 14 Alistair Kay (York Cycle Works); 15 Mark Wordsworth (Doncaster Wheelers); 16 Evan Oliphant (Scotland); 17 Greg Sandy (Alcan-Bianchi); 18 Martin Forde (Race Scene); 19 Paul Crook (Angliasport); 20 Rick King (Bannatyne); 21 Phil Axe (Rutland); 22 Chris Doel (Team Quest); 23 Peter Hey (West Pennine); 24 Andy Lyons (Parrot Print); 25 Mark Daley (Team Darenth); 26 Richard Whitehorne (Glendene); 27 Gareth Hewitt (JE James); 28 Steve Skuse (Kingsnorth International); 29 Bryan Pool (Anderson Racing); 30 Gary Hand (Scotland); 31 Ross Adams (Red Kite Cycles); 32 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 33 Danny Axford (Parrot Print); 34 Jamie Norfolk (Giant); 35 Mark Williams (Python); 36 Tim Wallis (Solihull); 37 William Bjergfelt (Saracen); 38 Nic Tilling (Angliasport); 39 Jules Birks (Alcan-Bianchi); 40 Simon Henley (Team Milton Keynes); 41 John Tanner (Planet-X); 42 unidentified (number 300) 43 Shaun Snodden (Recycling.co.uk/MG X-Power); 44 John Charlesworth (Bannatyne); 45 Nigel Williams (Python); 46 Martin Smith (Team Milton Keynes); 47 Gary Flint (In Gear); 48 Adam Weaver (Doncaster Wheelers); 49 Roger Morgan (Parrot Print); 50 Andy Collis (Team Lichfield); 51 Roy Chamberlain (Team Milton Keynes).

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE, CUTMILL, 2/3, 115KM: 1 William Bell (Gemini); 2 Mark Scoular (Liphook); 3 John Tuckett (Oxford University); 4 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Mark Ketterer (unatt); 6 Eddie Adkins (Bournemouth Arrow); 7 Brendan Heaslip (Kenton RC); 8 Henry Furniss (unatt); 9 Kevin Davey (Pacific Racing); 10 Dave Larcombe (VC Meudon); 11 Ian Black (Kingsnorth); 12 Paul Anderson (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 13 Graham Wood (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 14 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth); 15 Phil Starr (Starr Guttering).
3/4/W/J, 80KM: 1 James Wakelin (Evans); 2 Philip Glowinski (VC De Londres); 3 Simon Horton (VC Meudon); 4 Alex Atkins (Evans Cycles); 5 Gavin Morton (Charlotteville); 6 Gavin Buckley (VC Meudon); 7 Alan Hainsworth (Beyond Mountainbikes); 8 Tony Geraghty (Thames Velo); 9 Chris Howard (Southborough & District Wheelers) 10 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO).

London Dynamo Newsletter #26, 24.09.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #26, 24.09.04

WAAAAHHHHNNHUNDREEEERRRRD!
It goes without saying that ordinary clubs take many years to build up their membership base – but London Dynamo is no ordinary club. So it comes as no surprise that the south-east’s most formidable wheelfolk faction has this week hit the wonderful 100 mark. That’s right, gobsmacked reader – subscription chief RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT received enrolment details this week from our 100th member. And the club is not even one year old! The lucky fella’s name is ROBERT GIBSON and the Newsletter would like to offer him a warm welcome to the Dynamassive community. Get in touch, pal – we’d like to know more about you! In the meantime, let’s hear how one of our more well-known Dynamates cemented his stunning comeback on Sunday after a nasty brush with a rubbish truck. Here comes the usual load of garbage…

DOOR-SOME
Tenacious teamster MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT has been clinging onto the hope of getting back into racing for most of the season – and the lanky lad finally proved he has put his nasty accident in Richmond Park behind him by clinching 2nd place at Alford on Sunday. Excellent work, sir! The first break in the 2/3 race was pulled back and the cheeky Chelsea chappie took a flyer up one of the climbs at around the halfway mark of the 100km event. He managed to get a gap, three other guys joined him and the break stuck. Delighted Martin reveals: “Shame the finish wasn’t uphill – but by the end I was grinning like a demented cat anyhow.” But he wasn’t feline fine before the race! He admitted to being “a bit under the weather” on the starting line – and the resourceful rider had to squeeze his bike into a titchy Vauxhall Corsa after a passing rubbish truck ripped off his car’s open door. Where’s MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON and the spacious Dynamobile when you need it?

TRACKING HIM DOWN
Like Martin, mild-mannered northerner ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE is another Dynamate who doesn’t drop the Newsletter a line too often, mainly because he’s usually busy getting great results in races all over the country. But the genial journeyman has outdone himself this time by taking a bit of Dynamagic to the Czech Republic. What a fine ambassador! The plucky engineer was part of the seven-strong Great Britain rail squad who competed against teams from Switzerland, Germany and Austria in the Czech National Railways Championships in an improbably-named area of Bohemia called Usti Nad Labem. We’re not making any of this up, you know! The three-stage race in the north of the country saw John take 10th in both the opening 4km hill climb and the 100km road race before grabbing 8th in the hilly 30km time trial. He came 9th overall – now that’s a rail-ly good effort! Dozens of Dynamates will be saddened to hear that the terrific Tube worker will soon be going underground – or Leeds to be precise, which is where he’ll be working while enjoying a much-needed break from the south-east’s hectic racing scene. But it’s only a temporary Dyna-move, so we’ll see him back soon in the distinctive blue, black and orange livery of the capital’s most welcoming club next season. Hurrah!

HOME-WARD BOUND
John, incidentally, has competed in more stage races this year than any other ‘Mo – but his triple whammy fades in comparison to CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD’s mammoth trek across this fair isle with his plucky pal Kevin Fitzgerald. The International Man Of Leisure contacted the Newsletter seconds after the intrepid pair reached John O’Groats on Thursday evening – and he had only one thing to say: “I’m ready for bed now.” Have a rest, pal – you deserve it! The duo’s sponsored end-to-end ride for two cancer charities saw them cover 1002 miles in 9 days, 23 hours and 40 minutes. We’re worn out just typing it! You can check out the full story of their epic trip or donate money at http://www.theplaygroupcharity.blogspot.com. And give Chris a hearty pat on the back next time you see him!

TUFT IT OUT
Finally, we bring news of a rift that has finally been healed. Regular readers will remember how CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL irked TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES last month at Hillingdon when he accidentally chased down a break containing his team-mate in the final lap of the race. What a twit! Thankfully, Chris made amends by pulling out the stops to make sure Tom got his 3rd cat licence at the final 4/W/J event on the west London Circuit. Accompanied by DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS, Chris sat on the front of the bunch during Saturday’s 45km race as Tom gritted his teeth and kept in a six-man break. Things got a bit hairy when the lank-haired lad and a Finsbury Park fella fell away from the four other riders in the leading group – but Tom still managed to beat the north Londoner to take 5th as his Dynamates held back the pack. Great teamwork, chaps!

END OF THE CENTURY
Rusty has filed Mr Gibson’s name in the Dynamo supercomputer and we’ve taken down the bunting to celebrate the arrival of the club’s 100th member. It’s going to be a very long time until we hit 200, but it will only be seven days until you find another instalment of moderately amusing Dynamatic data languishing in your inbox. Until then, remember that we are two fat zeroes and we would be nothing if we were not preceded by you, our commanding number one. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘COUNT’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. But PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we begin taking bets on when we’re going to start losing members, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a rum deal.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
THURSDAY, AUGUST 26, MKCACYCLESPORT.ORG SERIES, NATIONAL BOWL, MILTON KEYNES, 2/3, 51KM: 1 Joe Liversidge (Stevenage); 2 Graham Warby (unatt); 3 PHIL SHEEHAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 Mark Humphreys (Coventry); 5 Paul Freeman (Alpha); 6 Dave Brown (Team Milton Keynes); 7 Paul Rennie (St Ives); 8. Theo Pressner (Bath); 9 Paul Douglas (Luton); 10 Simon Smart (unatt).

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J, 45KM: 1 Victor Anderson (unatt); 2 J. Hughes (Bec CC); 3 N. Ragg (High Wycombe); 4 C. Greig (High Wycombe); 5 TOM DAVIES (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 P. Murrell (Finsbury Park).

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE, ALFORD, 2/3, 115KM: 1 Dave Larcombe (VC Meudon); 2. MARTIN GARRATT (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Graham Wood (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 4 Martin Hutt (Hounslow and District Wheelers); 5 Richard Hare (Victoria/Ciclos Uno); 6 John Tuckett (Oxford University); 7 Philip Glowinski (VC De Londres); 8 Mark Scoular (Liphook Cycles); 9 Toby Neave (Southdown Velo); 10 James Wakelin (Evans); 11 Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 12 Stephen Ferris (VC Meudon); 13 Stephen Cave (Nomads); 14 Darrell Pembroke (Freerider); 15 Ramon Labiaga (Addiscombe).

London Dynamo Newsletter #27, 01.10.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #27, 01.10.04

A WHOLE LOT MOOR
As we reach the very pinnacle of the season, London Dynamo can stand tall and proudly say that it’s been a season of massive highs – but amazingly, two soaring Dynamates have this week managed to scale even greater heights than their hard-climbing club chums. That’s right, giddy reader – the capital’s greatest polka-dot posse planted its blue, black and orange flag on the rugged Three Peaks free-for-all this week. Now that’s what we call a towering achievement! So come with us as we reveal how a little bit of Dynamagic was sprinkled over the Yorkshire moors. Here comes summit a bit special…

PEAK PERFORMANCE
Dynamo hunk MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON proved once again that he’s more than just a pretty face by taking up one of the toughest challenges of the cycling calendar. Oar-some ex-rower ALEX ‘BALFIE’ BALFOUR, who gorged on Pringles as Martin drove him to North Yorkshire, says of the 61km Three Peaks Cyclo-Cross event: “It’s not really a bike race, more a fell walk with a wheeled descent for the brave or a downhill scramble for everyone else. If only we had incorporated a run up boggy 700 metre hills in gale force winds and low clouds with our bikes on our back during the Parkride we would have been all set.” We’re sure that can be arranged in the off-season, fellas! Thanks to Alex’s dubious advice, Martin was the only rider with a slick front tyre – yet he still managed to finish a creditable 80th on the 246-strong results sheet, which gave him 14th place among the first-time riders. Top stuff! Around 40 minutes later a bloodied, battered and bruised Alex came over the line in 182nd place. The hardy lad had a flat tyre – and there was even more pain to come after the race! The big fella reveals: “My day ended in Lancaster A and E with my trousers around my ankles.” What on earth for? Balfie says: “I’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say I’m glad I don’t wish to have any more children.” We think we’ll leave it at that, pal!

RUSTY NAILS IT
He’s pulled it out of the bag! Pint-sized point-hunter RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT has been after that one elusive result that will enable him to keep his 2nd cat licence – and against the odds, he pulled it off in style on Sunday at Rusper. The compact killer took part in the 120km event – and there was a lot of griping when his team-mates PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE and ‘BIG’ BEN PURCELL discovered that the 2/3 race had been opened up to elites and 1st cats. Damn those cheeky Surrey League organisers! Thankfully, chief surgeon ‘Medical’ Mike had the cure for their woes: send a rider in the break and hope it sticks – and in case that doesn’t work, leave someone strong for the finish. So at just under the 25km mark, Paul dutifully joined a five-man breakaway – but big-hitter Paul Pickup got to the front of the bunch and pulled them back just as the Kingston killer began dreaming of a podium finish. Unlucky, pal! But determined Rusty faired much better, managing to nab 5th place in the bunch sprint which gives him the points he needs to stay up. Wo-hoo! Paul praised potty-mouthed Debney’s tactics and revealed: “Mike must get an honourable mention for his constant work rate which was commented on by the elites in the hall after the race.” Excellent stuff! We should point out that Rusty’s 5th place has yet to be confirmed by Surrey League supremo Keith Butler – but when his mob release the results for Rusper next week, we should also see ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY in the No.8 spot for the 3/4/W/J race. KEN BUIST’s protÈgÈ got in a couple of unsuccessful breaks and even launched a one-man attack of his own before the race ended in a tough uphill bunch sprint. With a performance like that, it’s no wonder long-haired Rob is often mistaken for fellow hirsute roadman WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE!

SWELL GIBSON
Fantastic news! ROBERT ‘WAAAAHHHHNNHUNDREEEERRRRD!’ Gibson has got in touch – and the Dynamate who has allowed the club’s membership base to hit the sensational century mark has turned out to be a really swell guy. The chuffed chap admits it was “an honour and a privilege” to be named as Dynamo’s 100th member – and he reveals it was the sight of PHIL ‘HOOP SHOOTER’ SHEEHAN dressed in the club’s cracking kit that prompted him to join. Robert, who rode with the former basketball player on his recent London-Paris charity ride, says: “We spent most of the trip chasing him up the hills of northern France. I thought it would be worth joining the club just to wear the kit and maybe see if it contained some magical climbing powers.” If only it did, pal! The De Rosa rider had never tackled Richmond Park until his first Parkride a few weeks ago – and he adds: “I really enjoyed the course. It was a real blast, definitely my sort of riding, with fast through-and-off.” That’s what we like to hear – another satisfied customer!

END-TO-END ENDS
Finally, we’d like to make one final mention of CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD’s epic ride from Land’s End to John O’Groats. The International Man Of Leisure wrote a full account of his journey which he posted on his website before retiring for a long, hot bath. Have a read of it on http://www.theplaygroupcharity.blogspot.com and find out about his next charity challenge. There’s no stopping this man!

GET THE HILL OUT OF HERE
The top of the climb is finally behind us and all that remains is a perilous 50mph descent into the valley. It will be ages before we’re back in the small gears but it’ll be only seven days until another edition of your preferred source of all Dyna-major discussion slips stealthily into your inbox. Until then, do your best to remember that we are a cheeky Kilimanjaro but we would be nothing without you, our mighty Mount Everest. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘SOCIAL CLIMBER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. But PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the road begins to level out, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a meandering lift from Nick de Sancha of the Kingston Wheelers.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER, 43RD THREE PEAKS CYCLO-CROSS, HORTON-IN-RIBBLESHIRE, NORTH YORKSHIRE, 61KM: 1 Rob Jebb (Wheelbase/Ron Hill) 03.04.52; 2 Nick Craig (Team Persil) 03.13.21; 3 Lewis Craven (Wheelbase/Ron Hill) 03.19.59; 4 Geoffrey Beetham (Eastern Region Velo/Bianchi UK) 03.20.05; 5 Daniel Alexander (Matlock CC/Wards/Impsport/Farmers) 03.21.53; 6 Dale Goodwin (Paul Milnes/Bradford Olympic); 03.24.40 7 Oli Cox (Leicester) 03.25.00; 8 Paul Oldham (Giant/Hope Technology) 03.26.18; 9 Ian Wilkinson (Giant Racing) 03.26.26; 10 Chris Young (Team Marie Curie/JD Cycles); 03.35.34; 80 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 04.17.57; 183 ALEX BALFOUR (LONDON DYNAMO) 04.56.46; 246 Ian Briggs (Didcot Phoenix) 05.52.45.

London Dynamo Newsletter #28, 08.10.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #28, 08.10.04

MoD A PERFORMANCE!
As tough-talking battalion boss GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS has undoubtedly noted, this season has been a long, drawn-out conflict – but while many enemy squadrons have already waved the white flag, Dynamo’s super troopers have continued to march their way onto the results sheets that matter and capture a clutch of valuable BCF points. Now that’s what we call a conquering army! The capital’s sharpest shooters had a blast at the Ministry of Defence circuit at Chertsey – so come with us as we recall how rival riders cowered at the sight of London Dynamo wheeling out its big guns. Here comes the opening shot…

SHOCK AND FOUR
Fearless privates DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS and CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL were the first fellas over the top on Saturday – and the two-man coalition, which comprised the only riders in matching jerseys at the category 4 race, quickly realised it was outnumbered by volatile rebel forces. With horse chestnuts scattered across the slippery circuit as liberally as landmines in a bombed-out city, the pair sat tight as insurgent after insurgent launched futile suicide missions off the front. Hairy stuff! Plucky David paused only to straighten his epaulettes as he revealed: “The reconnaissance of the early laps bore fruit as we sat tight near the front of the bunch in the final couple of miles. When the pedals started flying, we opened fire into a headwind in the final 100m.” And when the dust had settled, it emerged that Norris had taken 2nd with Campbell following in 5th place. Mission accomplished! But every war has its casualties – and MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT turned out to be the wounded party in the following 3/W/J competition. The lanky lad got into an early break of two with eventual race winner Steven Woodbridge as CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN, ADAM ‘YO-YO’ DOBBS, CHRIS ‘CRISPY’ HADDOCK and ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY defended Martin’s position. Then tragedy struck! Hirsute hero ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY explains: “Martin blew up with three laps to go leaving the rest of the team to contest the bunch sprint finish.” So it fell to the ponytailed WARRICK SPENCE look-a-like to grab a piece of Dynamo glory by coming the 5th. Give him a medal, Commander Andrews!

BEC WITH A BANG
While Rob and his Dynamates were slugging it out in the battlefield, an intriguing piece of intelligence arrived at the Newsletter’s top-secret war rooms concerning the return of daring Dynamette REBECCA ‘OBJECTION’ STUBBS. The name of our highly-sensitive source cannot be disclosed for fear of ugly reprisals – but he reveals the eager legal eagle infiltrated Irish soil a couple of weeks ago disguised by a gruesome Surrey League jersey. The shadowy informant, who uncovered details of the TQ Paper Ladies International 2-Day race in Dublin, confesses: “I don’t understand why Rebecca has kept her great result a secret. She came 24th in the GC, only 2mins down in a 3-stage race which saw three of the Irish women’s World Championships team competing alongside many other good riders.” Give her a hearty pat on the back next time you see her in the barracks, chaps! Rebecca also has the dubious honour of having thousands of nerdy bike fans take a gander at her on the Cycling News website – http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos.php?id=photos/2004/sep04/tqpaperint/stage1/ss13. Look closely, readers, and you’ll see she’s in Dynamo shorts. What a stylish lady!

KEN WATCH!
He’s back! And in keeping with this week’s theme, Dynamo’s man of mystery KEN BUIST has been spotted on a gruelling training session of almost military intensity. Keen-eyed spy RORY ‘GLORY, GLORY’ PARK says: “I saw him on Rocks Lane in Barnes at 5.30pm on Tuesday. He was on his Colnago, scowling at the rain. It was nice and dry in my car.” We bet it was, pal! Let us know if the enigmatic Antipodean cheered up later on by emailing news@londondynamo.co.uk. After enduring such a fierce downpour, he deserves a little sunshine in his life!

THE BATTLE IS OVER…
…but the war has not yet finished, Dynamates. There’s still another month to go until the BCF racing calendar can be finally shoved in the shredder – and your favourite dodgy dossier detailing the covert activities of the barmy black-and-blue army will be back in just seven days. Until then, please remember that we are a rather ineffectual la-di-da Gunner Graham, and we would be nothing without you, our bellowing Windsor Davis. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘BRIGADIER’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on email. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as the theme to the Dam Busters stirs in the background, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride, Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at wwwlondondynamocouk/forum/viewforumphp?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a stiff salute.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter

THE SMALL PRINT
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 AND SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, TQ PAPER LADIES INTERNATIONAL 2 DAY, IRELAND: 1 Louise Moriarty, (Team Ireland A) 3:52:58; 2 Helen Gutteridge (Team Luciano) +0:02; 3 Inge Klep (Team Movingladies) +0:29; 4 Colette Swift, (Team Ireland A);+01:03; 5 Joukje Braam (Alcmaria Victrix) +01:06; 6 Julie O’Hagan (Team Ireland A) +01:12; 7 Siobhan Dervan (Team Ireland A) +01:13; 8 Kirsten Brooks (Wales) +01:16; 9 Caroline Gray (Wales) +01:23; 10 Yvonne Schroeder (RG Charlottenburg) +01.25; 11 Judith Helmink (Team Movingladies) +01.27; 12 Kim Blythe (Team Luciano) +01:27; 13 Jeanette Tebbitt (Team Luciano) +01:31; 14 Jane Berry (Wales) +01:32; 15 Heather Summers (BC East Midlands) +01:33; 16 Mary Brennan (Team Ireland A) +01:35; 17 Roisin Kennedy (Team Ireland B) +01:40; 18 Susan Hartog (Alcmaria Victrix) +01:41; 19 Linda Ringlever (Team Movingladies); +01:47; 20 Ann McFarland (Ulster) +01:48; 21 Susan O’Mara (Leinster) +01:49; 22 Angela Nainby (Surrey League) +01:52; 23 Merel Koenen (Alcmaria Victrix) +01:59; 24 REBECCA STUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); +02:07; 25 Lauren O’Neill (Team Luciano) +02:32; 26 Orla Hendron (Team Ireland B) 02:45; 27 Emma Quirke (Team Ireland B) +03:07; 28 Sharon van Essen (Team Movingladies) +04:50; 29 Melissa Mather (Team Luciano) +07:45; 30 Nancy Turkstra (Alcmaria Victrix) +08:10. 52 Fiona Tracey (Ulster) +59.37.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE, ALFORD, 2/3, 115KM: 1 Dave Larcombe (VC Meudon); 2 MARTIN GARRATT (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Graham Wood (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 4 Martin Hutt (Hounslow & District Wheelers); 5 Richard Hare (Victoria); 6 John Tuckett (Oxford University); 7 Philip Glowinski (VC De Londres); 8 Mark Scoular (Liphook); 9 Toby Neave (Southdown Velo); 10 James Wakelin (Evans); 11 Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 12 Stephen Ferris (VC Meudon); 13 Stephen Cave (Nomads); 14 Darrell Pembroke (Freerider); 15 Ramon Labiaga (Addiscombe).

SUNDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE, RUSPER, E/1/2/3, 120KM: 1 Adrian Goatley (Freerider); 2 Paul Pickup (Liphook); 3 Lee Day (Liphook); 4 Brett Perez (Freerider); 5 John Sadler (Addiscombe); 6 Lewis Atkins (Ciclos Uno); 7 Mark Freullet (Team Quest); 8 Paul Alderson (Team Luciano-Fondriest); 9 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 Philip Riley (Southborough & District Wheelers); 11 Nigel Carpenter (Pacific Racing); 12 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon); 13 Henry Furniss (unatt); 14 Colin McDermott (Festival); 15 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO).
3/4/W, 95KM: 1 Alan Hainsworth (Beyond MTB); 2 Tony Geraghty (Thames Velo) 3 Craig Wilson (VC Meudon); 4 Stuart Barrett (Glendene); 5 Gavin Morton (Charlotteville); 6 J. Woodward (Dbennett Training); 7 Tim Jones (Sigma); 8 Jon Hayes (Brighton Excelsior); 9 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 Neil Finch (Crawley).

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2, SURREY LEAGUE AT CHERTSEY, CHERTSEY MoD, 3/W/J, 50 MILES: 1 Steven Woodbridge (GS Stella) 2:26:08; 2 Dean Wilson (Kingsnorth International) @ 0:03; 3 Tom McCall (unatt); 4 Alan Clarke (South Western); 5 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Mike Brampton (Worthing Excelsior); 7 Ramon Labiaga (Addiscombe); 8 Simon Duke (Arctic); 9 Adrian Brown (Thames Velo); 10 Jon Lewis (Freerider Cycles); 11= Russ Turner (unatt); 11= CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 11= ADAM DOBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 11= CHRIS HADDOCK (LONDON DYNAMO); 15 Paul Williams (Bath); 16 Jonathan Greaves (Beyond MTB); 17 Mike Anderson (Team Velo); 18 Andrew McKie (South Western); 19 Nick Haskoll (Brighton Mitre); 20 Lindsey Ruocco (South Western); 21 John Leitch (Festival); 22 Brad Lamb (Glendene) @ 1 lap; 23 Darren Clarke (Army CU).
4/W/J, 28 miles: 1 Nick O’Brien (Team Quest) 1:14:00; 2 DAVID NORRIS (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Ralph Swallow (South Western); 4 David Streule (unatt); 5 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Stuart Jarret (Glendene).

London Dynamo Newsletter #29, 15.10.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #29, 15.10.04

THANK FLIP IT’S FRIDAY…
…because as every dedicated Dynamate knows, the weekend is where club life really takes off with two terrific rides featuring a host of glittering stars, including GUY ‘TOP BILLING’ ANDREWS, MIKE ‘ANECDOTE’ DEBNEY and our very special guest RUSSELL ‘RACONTEUR’ SHORT. Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a show! And tomorrow’s Parkride is going to be an extra-special episode of your favourite fun-packed programme because London Dynamo is due to receive a visit from the glittering world of television. That’s right, dazzled reader – after many weeks of top-level behind-the-scenes negotiation, the makers of Chris Evans’ former chat show have agreed to come to Richmond Park, where they will point their cameras at London’s most telegenic pedal-tappers. So take a seat on our leatherette banquette as we reveal how you can freewheel your way onto the gogglebox. Here comes the opening monologue…

WILLY RISE TO THE OCCASION?
Pony-tailed point-gobbler WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE is a man who never flinches from a challenge – and it’s a credit to his spirit of adventure that the kinky Kiwi has agreed to have an implement shoved down his shorts, all in the name of science. The Cyclefit technician is taking part in a show being made by Ginger Television which aims to discover if cycling can cause impotency – and apparently the best way to gauge if Mr Droopy will be paying a visit is to measure your body temperature with a thermometer in your gentleman’s area. At least that’s what the producers told him! The TV bigwigs are also looking to film about 15-20 dashing Dynamates – and that, of course, is where YOU come in. If you fancy being seen by literally quite a few people in a forthcoming show on Sky, then meet up with RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT at the roundabout by Sheen Gate after this Saturday’s Parkride. The filming, which will take 45 minutes to an hour, is due to start at 10.30am, so the Parkride may be three laps instead of four. You can help Rusty by signing up for the event of the season on the forum – and, naturally, you MUST wear your cracking Dynamo kit for the occasion. Talking of which…

THE TIDE IS TURNING
We were chewing the fat with cheeky Chelsea chappie MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT at the end of last Saturday’s ride – and the ever-observant fella noticed that the number of riders turning up in Dynamo’s distinctive outfits seems to be steadily increasing each week. But that’s still not good enough, Dynamates! The Newsletter won’t be happy until Richmond Park is covered in a sea of blue, black and orange each Saturday – so get yourself down to Cyclefit where gentlemen’s outfitter JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL will be able to provide you with the capital’s most stylish lycra at a highly competitive price. Even perennial Lotto-Domo advocate ANDY ‘LISTEN UP’ STEVENSON has got kitted up now, so there’s no excuse!

NOT A-BOAT THE BIKE
There are a few Dyna-members who are exempt from our stern clothing directive – principally because they can’t squeeze their “differently-shaped” physiques into the limited range of sizes available. Blame Pro Vision, not us! One of these larger lads is strapping rower ANGUS ‘PADDLER’ MACALISTER, who had a great result off the bike last week with his double-scull partner Julian Geluk. The water-loving warrior won the Pairs Head Of The River rowing race, which he describes as “a measly 4km from Mortlake to Hammersmith”. Measly to you, pal – we wouldn’t like to try it! Angus, whose 2-second victory over Olympians Alan Campbell and Tom Stallard got him a mention in the Times, reveals: “Now that I’m back in the boat and the gym rather than on the bike, I’m also wondering if any Dynamates want to have a go at rowing at my rowing club too.” Dyna-mail us at news@londondynamo.co.uk if you’re interested and we’ll pass on your messages. Masochists, form an orderly queue!

CAMP IT UP
But if you don’t fancy slogging it out on the Thames during the off-season, then there’s always the Cyclefit training camp to look forward to. The Newsletter has been having a natter with the Macklin Street maestros – and we can exclusively reveal that March’s Mallorcan jaunt will be significantly cheaper than last year’s trip with a choice of three- or four-star accommodation available for the first time. That, we’re afraid, is all we have managed to glean – but rest assured there will be more news as we get it, Dynamates!

FALL GUY
While we were in the Covent Garden bike boutique, WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE told us about an unfortunate incident involving GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS. The club’s commander-in-chief wanted to bring his time trial bike to Cyclefit so they could sell it – but he was hit by a car on the way to the shop. Bad luck, pal! Apparently Guy managed to get off the bike before it was hit, so we assume it was just his Merckx Flyer that was damaged. Let us know if you’re OK, mate – the Parkride won’t be the same without your fearsome orders!

THE MART OF THE MATTER
Finally, we’ve reached the part of the Newsletter that really matters – the racing. And we’re delighted to announce a second magnificent result for MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT. The lanky lad finished 2nd on the unforgiving Cutmill course – and he admits: “A hill finish makes things so much simpler, doesn’t it?” Speak for yourself, chum! Hirsute hero ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY also put in a good race by getting into the two main breaks before finishing 10th in the 3/4/W/J contest. But it was CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN who had the toughest time of all after his chain came off and jammed the rear mech at the end of the third lap. Chris reveals: “I had to get off the bike and free the chain. It took a couple of minutes but obviously that’s quite a long time in the race.” Dramatic stuff! The resolute redhead spent more than a lap playing catch-up before reaching the bunch, fighting his way to the front and eventually finishing 14th. Give that man an extra-large bidon of Rego – he deserves it!

THANKS FOR TUNING IN…
…and we really hope you can join us at the same time next week for more cheeky chat relating to all your Dyna-marvellous deeds. Until then, please remember that we are a gabbling Gabby Roslin and we would be nothing without you, our level-headed Terry Wogan. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive ‘PAR-KEN-SON’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on email. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as Ronnie Hazlehurst and his delightful orchestra strike up our familiar theme tune, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout at Sheen Gate, 9am. Four – or three – laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a boom mic.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Canter to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 10, Surrey League Road Race, 3/4/W/J 80KM: 1 James McVey (Kingston Wheelers); 2:01:00; 2 MARTIN GARRATT (LONDON DYNAMO); +0:10; 3 Gavin Morton (Charlotteville); 4 Alan Hainsworth (Beyond MTB); 5 Roger Smith (VC Etoile); 6 Matthew Sidford (Severn RC); 7 Michael Farrington (VC Meudon); 8 Colin Tamon (Tunbridge Wells); 9 Gavin Buckley (VC Meudon); 10 ROB JEFFROY (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 Paul Douglas (Luton); 12 Jake Lockley (Luton); 13 Stuart Barrett (Glendene); 14 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 15 Mark Hutt (Hounslow & District Wheelers); 16 Chris Howard (Southborough); 17 Will Thomas (Prestige VC); 18 Steven Woodbridge (GS Stella); 19 Andrew McKie (South Western); 20 Mario Manelfi (Freerider); 21 Ralph Swallow (South Western); 22 Mike Edwards (Willesden); 23 Mark Skinner (Brighton Mitre); 24 Alan Denman (Crawley); 25 James Graham (Festival); 26 Michael Crockford (Gravesend); 27 Nick Haskoll (Brighton Mitre); 28 Richard Webb (Army CU); 29 Rosi Remidios (VC Meudon); 30 Dean Wilson (Kingsnorth International).