Archive for the 'DYNAMITE! filed' Category

London Dynamo Newsletter #10, 04.06.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #10, 04.06.04

…AND ACTION!
Twin-piston powerhouse GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL has called it “very good” PAUL HARKNETT reckons it’s “excellent” while compact mechanic SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON went as far to say that he “loves” it – and now, thanks to the unstoppable enthusiasm of our loyal readership, your favourite four-a-month bulletin dedicated to all things Dynamesque has reached the historic milestone of issue number 10. Have we been celebrating this glorious moment by lolling around the Newsletter bunker waiting for even more notes of praise to cascade through our letterbox faster than Beloki on a tricky descent? No way, Joseba! This week has seen us take the fearless leap from the printed word to the moving image in an ongoing bid to chronicle the considerable achievements of London’s most photogenic cycling club. Admittedly, the account you have before you is in the Newsletter’s traditional text-based format – but if the technical boffins at Dynamo Towers put their heads together, then every movie-mad Dynamate may soon be able to watch exclusive footage of ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE and ROB ‘GUNNER’ TUBBS powering around Goodwood, courtesy of the Dynamo website. Let’s roll the opening credits…

YOU ‘ORRIBLE LITTLE MAN!
Triathlete ROB TUBBS was disappointed after he “busted his backside” at the undulating Woolwich 10-mile time trial course this week, only to find that a 50-ish veteran had caned him by more than two minutes. “Believe me,” Rob admits, “he wasn’t the only one!” And the ex-soldier wasn’t too pleased when an unpleasant chap barked orders at him during the 3/4/W/J race at Goodwood on Sunday. The jumped-up sergeant major, who shall remain nameless, told the toiling Dynamate to “keep it going at the front” – and then left him to do all the hard work with a few other competitors in the fast 50-mile event. Rob, who had previously been in a four-man break, decided he had done more than his fair share and left the head of the bunch before nabbing 13th in the sprint, while JOHN OLDRIDGE finished a short distance behind in 18th place. Plucky CHRIS CAMPBELL was also forced to do a bit of work during the 30-mile 4/W race when an Addiscombe rider peeled off halfway around the final lap, leaving the hapless Dynamate to pull the bunch and settle for 12th place. He’ll get it right one day!

A CUTMILL ABOVE
There were no such tactical errors for fast-rising 2nd cat star TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, who stealthily secured the No.2 spot at Cutmill on Bank Holiday Monday by seeing off all but one of the elite competitors. Now that’s cycling! The frequently-misspelled rider, who was bizarrely dubbed “Hemnaun” by London Cycle Sport after placing 5th at Crystal Palace last week, managed to get in a five- man break early on which stayed away. Recycling.co.uk rider Robin Sharman whittled the quintet down to a trio by piling on the pressure on the penultimate lap – and Tom reveals: “He attacked again in exactly the same place at the bell. I couldn’t quite cling on so he soloed off to victory and I managed to beat the other guy on the last ascent up to the finish.” Dynamo’s quiet man wins the London Dynamo Newsletter Result Of The Week Loudhailer for his impressive victory – but true to form, the racing scene’s quiet man was keen to underplay his achievement. He confesses: “I was really proud to finish second to an elite. But since then my legs have been very sore and I found out that he had won a 50-mile time trial the day before, so he would hardly have been fresh. He was also the driving force behind the break.” This isn’t really the time or the place for the Newsletter to raise its voice – BUT FOR GOODNESS SAKES, MATE – YOU HAD TO GO UP A WHOPPING HILL NINE TIMES! AND YOU STILL SAW OFF ALMOST EVERY ELITE COMPETITOR! If someone has a chip handy, please stick it on Tom’s shoulder as soon as possible. Meanwhile, pocket rocket RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT came 20th in the same race – and Tom recalls seeing a lone Dynamo rider pull out after losing his chain twice on the penultimate climb. Who was that renegade team-mate hunched over a blue Dolan? No – it can’t be! Yes it is! It’s… KEN BUIST!

KEN WATCH!
This bit of the Newsletter really is coming on in leaps and bounds! A couple of days before Ken had a visit from the mechanical fairy, eagle-eyed mechanic SAM HUMPHESON popped out of his workshop at Sigma Sport and witnessed the enigmatic Aussie browsing in the hallowed Hampton Wick bicycle emporium. Sam reveals: “He was looking at bikes. With a woman. That’s all I have to say.” Good Lord – you can’t just end it there, man! What did she look like? Did they hold hands? Were they travelling by tandem? If you have any information on mysterious Ken’s mystery lady, then please spill the beans by sending an email to news@londondynamo.co.uk. And make the details as obsessive as is legally possible!

THAT’S MUCH BEDDER
Two more Dynamates’ female acquaintances also deserve an honourable mention this week. Reserved high-achiever TOM HEMMANT was keen to divert the spotlight onto his lady friend LUCY DOVE, who was grabbing a “peace” of the action at the third Thames Turbo Triathlon at Hampton Pool while he raced at Cutmill on Bank Holiday Monday. Tom says: “She came fourth lady, which also meant that she won the 20-29 age group prize.” Well done, madam! Meanwhile, Dynaman ROB TUBBS celebrated the achievements of Dynamette REBECCA STUBBS in the International Bedford Classic 3-day race, which saw the gutsy rider hold her own in the prologue, a crit at Milton Keynes Bowl, a longer time trial, a 40km road race and the final stage of 84km. Determined not to repeat her baptism of fire in Wales last week when she found herself in the only female team at a gruelling two-day race, Rebecca doggedly hung in as a number of top female riders fought it out in the general classification. Rob, who witnessed Rebecca in the final stage, reports: “She charged up the finishing incline with great place and snatched what I counted to be a clear 12th place. She also finished a very credible 38th place in the overall GC – only 4 minutes down after a gruelling 140 miles.” That’s more than some of Dynamo’s gentlemen members do in six months!

DO YOUR BEAST TO HELP OUT
Finally, in a bid to help out our knobbly-tyred brethren, we’d like to point out that London Dynamo is scheduled to help marshal at the Beastway MTB race on Wednesday, June 23, so any volunteers from our wide membership base would be greatly appreciated. The race starts at 7.30pm at Eastway, and SAM HUMPESON says: “Marshals need to get there as soon as possible after work and they usually retire to the pub afterwards.” There’s an email address on the Dynamo web forum if you want to help out with this fun and competitive series or you can check out http://www.beastway.com for more details. One rider who may want to help out is DOMINIC PAUL, as he should have more time on his hands after snapping the front end of his OCLV. Sam, who has the damaged Trek in his workshop, reveals: “He made the classic error of driving into a low car park with his pride and joy attached to the roof rack.” Ouch!

IT’S A WRAP
The film is in the can, the crew are dismantling the set and the male lead is in his Winnebago doing unmentionable things with his pretty personal assistant. All we can do is hope this picture will be a hit after it reaches your inbox. Always remember that we are the director, but we would be nothing without you, our glittering stars. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. And now, as the throbbing Europop from the post-wrap party beckons, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and the correct spelling of SAM HUMPHESON’s name.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, MAY 16, SOUTHEND WHEELERS ST ANDREW’S TROPHY, 1/2/3/4, 106KM: 1 Thomas Gardner (Glendene CC); 2 Keir Williams (San Fairy Ann CC); 3 Jamie Higgins (Sigma Sport); 4 Glenn Stanford (Eastern Region Velo); 5 Kevin Chambers (API Resprays); 6 Nigel Ling (Old Portlians CC); 7 Mark Powell (VC Deal); 8 Sean Sumner (Eastern Region Velo); 9 Richard Whitehorn (Glendene CC); 10 Shaun Aldous (Eastern Region Velo); 11 Martin Meades (API Resprays); 12 Michael Gray (Glendene CC); 13 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO); 14 Paul Smith (Interbike RT); 15 Robert Driver (Cambridge University CC).

TUESDAY, MAY 25, CRYSTAL PALACE, E/1/2/3: 1 Paul Mill (Team Edwardes); 2 Daniel Rudd (Team Edwardes); 3 Simon Cope (Team Edwardes); 4 Stuart Blunt (Corridori) + 15 secs; 5 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); + 25 secs; 6 Scott Bugden (Pearson Cycles); 7 Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth RT); 8 Dave Worthington (Prestige VC); 9 Tony Kelly (Pacific RT); 10 Ben Thompson + 1 lap.

SATURDAY, MAY 29 – MONDAY, MAY 31, BEDFORD 3-DAY STAGE RACE, W, 217KM: 1 Angela Hunter (GS Strada – Rudy Project – Afford – Pinarello) 6:07:31; 2 Isabelle Hoffman (Team Bianchi – VS Olympia – Holland) + 00:24; 3 Colette Swift (Cycling Ireland – Hibernian Insurance) + 00:38; 4 Nikki Harris (Women’s Cycle Racing Association) + 00:41; 5 Lorna Webb (Impsport Composite Team) + 00:47; 6 Jeanette Tebbutt (Team Luciano – Fondriest Cycles) + 01:04; 7 Diane Moss (Team Luciano – Fondriest Cycles) + 01:07; 8 Leda Cox (Impsport Composite Team) + 01:08; 9 Julie O’Hagan (Letchworth Velo Club – Torelli Sport) + 01:17; 10 Laura Bissell (Impsport Composite Team) + 01:18; 11 Susie Godart (Team Bianchi – VS Olympia – Holland) + 01:19; 12 Alexandra Nöhles (Team Bianchi – VS Olympia – Holland) + 01:27; 13 Helen Gutteridge (Team Luciano – Fondriest Cycles) + 01:28; 14 Caroline James (Eastern Region Velo – Bianchi UK) + 01:29; 15 Siobhan Dervan (Cycling Ireland – Hibernian Insurance) + 01:40; 16 Lauren O’Neill (Team Luciano – Fondriest Cycles) + 01:42; 17 Della McGiven (Velo Club Meudon – Integra Cycle Kingdom Colbornes) + 01:43; 18 Tracy Clarke (Central Division) + 01:50; 19 Heather Summers (East Midlands Division) 01:53; 20 Kirsten Brooks (Welsh Cycling Union) 01:59; 21 Kelly Grant (Central Division) + 02:01; 22 Kimberley Blythe (Team Luciano – Fondriest Cycles) + 02:25; 23 Trudy Brown (Cycling Ireland – Hibernian Insurance) + 02:27; 24 Kate Cullen (Letchworth Velo Club – Torelli Sport) + 02:34; 25 Marina Massaro (Team Bianchi – VS Olympia – Holland) + 02:37; 26 Clara Beard (GS Strada – Rudy Project – Afford – Pinarello) + 02:55; 27 Gabrielle Day (Impsport Composite – Team Bottecchia-X- Gear-Genesys-Shain Helmets) + 02:55; 28 Rosie Dosremedios (Velo Club Meudon – Integra – Cycle Kingdom – Colbornes) + 02:56; 29 Lisa Hollingshead (East Midlands Division) + 03:19; 30 Ruth Gamwell (West Midlands Division) + 03:19; 31 Ann Paul (Cycling Ulster) + 03:22; 32 Roisian Kennedy (Cycling Ireland – Hibernian Insurance) + 03:32; 33 Melissa Mather (Team Luciano – Fondriest Cycles) + 03:33; 34 Louise Amery (Women’s Cycle Racing Association) + 03:40; 35 Tamara Schijff (Team Bianchi – VS Olympia – Holland) + 03:43; 36 Angela Nainby (Surrey League) + 03:47; 37 Elizabeth Clayton (West Midlands Division) + 04:09; 38 REBECCA STUBBS (SURREY LEAGUE) + 04:19; 66 Kat Smart (Central Division) 1:20:02.

SUNDAY, MAY 30, SURREY LEAGUE GOODWOOD RACES, 3/4/J/W, 50 MILES: 1 Martin Markowski (Bayeux Landscapes) 1:58:02; 2 Lewis Atkins (PCA Ciclos Uno); 3 Tim Costello (Southdown Velo); 4 Paul Atkinson (VC St Raphael) + 0:13; 5 Jeff Baird (Twickenham CC); 6 Jeff Wilson (VC Deal); 7 Raymond Healey (Twickenham CC) + 0:19; 8 Colin Tamon (Tunbridge Wells RC); 9 Dan Bennett (Dbennett Training); 10 Brian Tidey (Addiscombe CC); 11 Colin Bateman (Festival RC); 12 Tony Stubbens (unatt); 13 ROB TUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 14 Angus MacInnes (RAF CC); 15 Lindsey Ruocco (South Western RC); 16 E Young (unatt); 17 David Freeman (unatt); 18 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO); 60 Dave Worsfold (unatt); 61 Richard Varian (Epsom CC) + 3:28; 62 Michael Groom (Epsom CC) + 1 lap.

4/W, 30 MILES: 1 Dan Manelfi (Freerider Cycles) 1:16:19; 2 G Laguillo (Twickenham CC); 3 Craig Wilson (VC Meudon); 4 Andrew Wills (VC Deal); 5 Gareth Dickinson (Team Luciano); 6 Russ Davies (Sotonia); 7 Paul Restall (Ride Venture); 8 Jon Masters (Redhill CC); 9 Andrew Hicks (South Western RC); 10 Jim Orr (VC Meudon); 11 Ian Essex (Brighton Excelsior); 12= S Morgan (VC Meudon) 12= Russell Childs (Twickenham CC); 12= K Bow (Sotonia); 12= P Robins (Kingfisher Tri Club); 12= A Horne (Kingfisher Tri Club); 12= James Bates (Farnborough & Camberley); 12= Keir Stone-Brown (Chippenham Wheelers); 12= Paul Jeffery (Southdown Velo); 12= CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 12= Marek Glowinski (VC de Londres); 32 Sam Prior (Twickenham CC).

MONDAY, MAY 31, SURREY LEAGUE ROAD RACE (PRESTIGE), CUTMILL, E/1/2/3, 107KM: 1 Robin Sharman (Recycling.co.uk) 2 hrs 43 mins; 2 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Duncan Urquhart (PrestigeVC.com/viner); 4 Steven Richards (VC Meudon); 5 Steve Gowar (Pacific Racing); 6 Tony Kelly (Pacific Racing); 7 Craig Peter (VC Meudon); 8 Matt Melville (VC St Raphael); 9 James Louter (In-Gear RT); 10 Simon Horton (VC Meudon); 11 Chas Hollosi (Gemini BC); 12 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells RC); 13 David Kennett (Addiscombe CC); 14 James Holland (Leader Principia RT); 15 Julian Bray (London Phoenix); 16 Daniel Duguid (Evans Cycles RT); 17 Gary Flint (In-Gear RT); 18 James Lett (De Laune CC); 19 Darren Santer (VC Deal); 20 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO).

MONDAY, MAY 31, THAMES TURBO TRIATHLON, HAMPTON POOL, RACE 3: 1 Gavin Smith; 00:56:18; 2 Mark Bayliss 00:56:22; 3 Tom Langley 00:58:10 (Thames Turbo); 4 Euan Lees (Thames Turbo) 00:58:28; 5 Roger Barr 01:01:18; 6 Nick Glozier 01:01:27; 7 Andrew Cairns 01:01:53; 8 James Stratton (Thames Turbo) 01:02:33; 9 Pablo Lastras (Thames Turbo) 01:02:50; 10 Derek Baigent 01:03:21; 34 (F28) LUCY DOVE (SERPENTINE RC) 01:09:40; 202 Elizabeth Chambers 02:22:01.

London Dynamo Newsletter #11, 11.06.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #11, 11.06.04

THE SUS-SPENCE IS KILLING US
For some time now, the Newsletter has been pacing up and down its subterranean office, anxiously hoping for a call from Cyclefit sensation WARRICK SPENCE. But after weeks of waiting in vain for the bunkerphone to ring, we were forced to swallow our pride and give the great man a bell instead. And what a relief that we did! Within minutes of our brief chat, “Wonder” Warr grasped how important it was to talk directly to his public – that’s you, our growing army of loyal readers – so he decided to drop everything and come to the Newsletter HQ at once. A short while later he was getting comfy on our plush leather sofa, which sits beneath a life-sized oil painting of Keith ‘I’ll Get You’ Butler, as we offered him a freshly-chilled bidon of PSP22 coupled with a delicious Sainsbury’s fig Newton. How could he refuse? After a few bites, the mild-mannered champ had opened his heart about those rumours that he’s set to ditch the Dynamos for a glamorous life in an American team – and he was keen, as ever, to talk about his recent race successes. So kick off your Carnacs and settle down on the settee as he begins his tale…

HELL-BRENT
Literally several Dynamates will be surprised to learn that the bespectacled boy wonder can become as poorly as us ordinary mortals, which was amply demonstrated when a recent bout of illness recently forced Warrick to stay off his bike for a fortnight. He confessed: “I did one race too many, basically, and my glands came up.” The Newsletter was about to sympathise, as we have learned from painful experience that saddles are not always built for comfort, until Warrick clarified that he was talking about the glands in his throat. Silly us! The Brentwood Town Centre Crit was the scene for Warrick’s return to racing and the elite race was certainly no walk in the park. Warrick explains: “The circuit was hard because it had hairpin bends. It didn’t really matter what line you went through because you still came out the same speed, which was damn slow – about 10mph. I had the legs for the repetitive stop-starts but I was suffering with my lungs and I had a bit of a stitch because I hadn’t ridden for two weeks.” That’s gotta hurt! The 50-minute plus 5-lap race ended with Malcolm Elliott, the former Tour of Britain winner and Warrick’s sparring partner at the Crawley Criterium, beating the pony-tailed thoroughbred once again by out-sprinting him for 2nd place. Damn the man! Not that it mattered – because the Macklin Street marvel managed to nab the top spot at the E/1/2 event at Crystal Palace just two days later with the help of fast-rising star TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, who came fourth. The modest rider, who grabbed Warrick’s wheel as he shot through a corner to establish a break, hovered at the front with his mentor, chasing down other competitors and attacking when they eased up during the 26-mile race. Warrick admits: “It was the first time I’d ridden with Tom. He was doing what I wanted him to do without me telling him. I thought: ‘This is cool.'” High praise indeed!

FOR THE RECORDS
As usual, the Crystal Palace races were running the same night as Eastway’s regular 10-mile time trial, and regular readers will remember that Warrick is keen to set the record at the latter event. He chose to head for south-east London this week as the murderous pace of a time-trial could ruin his recovery – but he wants to have a go at making history at Lee Valley in the next fortnight or so. That’s the spirit! The New Zealand hour record – Warrick’s other big goal – is on hold until he undergoes tests to measure his power output, while the chance to race with the Sierra Nevada team if they come to Europe is still on the cards. The California outfit’s offer came about through a mutual association with Serotta bikes – the team race on them, Cyclefit sell them – and Warrick would like to ride for the Yanks in the newly-resurrected Tour of Britain in September if they decide to hop over to Blighty. But he’ll only race in the States if they can “co-ordinate it right” with his commitments in the UK, so we’ll probably still be seeing Spence in the familiar blue, black and orange Dynamo livery for the foreseeable future. Hurrah!

KEN WATCH!
There is, of course, someone else we always like to see. And this week, dear reader, we’ve got him – we’ve finally got him! Dozens of Dynamates have spent months watching and waiting for a rare appearance from elusive Aussie KEN BUIST – but now an eagle-eyed photographer at last month’s Cutmill race has gone one better by actually capturing Dynamo’s mystery man on film. The anonymous snapper passed on the pic to RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, who reveals: “He informed me that he had heard of the phenomenon that is Ken Buist, but he only saw him for a couple of laps before he disappeared.” That sounds like our Ken! As you can see from the photo, the rider in front is so excited by being in the presence of the south-east cycling scene’s Greta Garbo that he can’t help turning around to take a sneaky peak at him. And if you look closely, you can just about make out the trademark hangdog expression and classic Buistean stretched-out riding style which has got everyone at Cyclefit shaking their heads in disbelief. Don’t try changing him, guys – we love him just the way he is! Meanwhile, towering triathlete GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL got to check out that distinctive “arms out, shoulders down” posture on Wednesday when he shared not one but THREE laps of Richmond Park with the great man. What an honour! During their hour together, which is surely some sort of record for Ken, the enigmatic Antipodean explained in maddening detail how he had failed to get rid of a creak from the headset of his brand new Colnago. Now we know why Sigma mechanic SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON saw him browsing in the shop last week! Guy reports that the blue and black frame, coupled with a Dura-Ace 10-speed groupset, looked “gorgeous”, adding: “Ken remonstrated at one point with a bloke on a scooter, but I’m not sure why.” You see – Ken’s always enigmatic, even when he loses his cool!

CHAT’S YER LOT
Warrick has drained his bidon, and the plate which was stacked with fig Newtons is now empty, save for the crumbs. We are sure you’ll agree it’s been a cosy and enlightening chat with Covent Garden’s crafty Kiwi, but there’s a queue of punters waiting to get fitted up at the WC2 bicycle emporium, so he can’t possibly lounge around all day talking to us. Many thanks for your contributions – always remember that we are the hard-working bike fitting technician but we would be nothing without you, our trusty jig. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. Incidentally, last week’s issue – and indeed each issue as it comes out – can be found on the London Dynamo website under the “Newsletter” banner on the front page. Apparently a few disappointed readers thought that their favourite seven-day chronicle of all things Dynamoid hadn’t come out as it wasn’t in their inbox. Our apologies – hopefully we’ll have sorted out the gremlins now. And now, as Warrick waves goodbye and climbs into the lift to the ground floor of Dynamo Towers, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a sturdy handshake.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY, MAY 25, SURREY LEAGUE GOODWOOD GALLOPS #5, E/1/2/3/4/J, 30 MILES: 1 Lee Day (Liphook Cycles); 2 Matthew Starey (unatt); 3 Nick Allen (VC Meudon); 4 Andrew Dilkes (VC Meudon); 5 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 6 Justin Hoy (Evans Cycles); 7 Simon Felmore (Dbennett Training); 8 Max Harris (Army CU); 9 Keith Knight (Addiscombe CC); 10 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells); 11 Tim Costello (Southdown Velo 2V); 12 Christopher McNamara (Team Synergy); 13 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells); 14 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 15 Martin Markowski (Bayeux Landscapes); 16 Mike Paget (Hants RC); 17 Robin Didymus (Principia RT).

SUNDAY, JUNE 6, BRENTWOOD TOWN CENTRE CRITS, ELITE, 50MINS+ 5 LAPS: 1 James Taylor (City of Edinburgh); 2 Malcolm Elliott (GS Pinarello); 3 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO);
4 Mark Cavendish (Team Persil); 5 Simon Gaywood (CC Luton); 6 Simon Cope (Team Edwardes); 7 Jason White (Team JD Cycles); 8 Richard Whitehorne (Glendene); 9 Gary Baker (AngliaSport); 10 Matt Holmes (Arctic/Shorter Rochford).

TUESDAY, JUNE 9, CRYSTAL PALACE CIRCUIT RACES, E/1/2, 26 MILES: 1 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO); 2 Simon Cope (Team Edwardes); 3 Bryan Taylor (VC Londres) +10secs; 4 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) +15secs; 5 Brett Perez (Freerider) +17secs; 6 Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth); 7 William Bell (Gemini BC); 8 Dave Worthington (Prestige VC); 9 John Sadler (Addiscombe); 10 Nic Cheetham (Dulwich).

London Dynamo Newsletter #12, 18.06.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #12, 18.06.04

A WRITE RESULT!
It goes without saying that your favourite educational supplement concerning all things Dynamoid is an absolute stickler for accuracy – so there was much tutting in the Newsletter bunker after we read the provisional results list for Chertsey, which was kindly slipped under our door by PAUL ‘CALLINSHAW’ CALLINAN. The fantastic placings were, of course, all present and correct in each of the three races. But although the writing was on the wall once again for our rivals, the handwriting was unfortunately all over the place when it came to the names of certain Dynamates. Did their pre-race jitters produce an indecipherable scrawl on the signing-in sheet? Or did the race organisers play fast and lose with the odd vowel and consonant as they scribbled by the finish line? Whatever the cause, some of Dynamo’s finest have been saddled this week with monikers so bizarre they make our Race Secretary’s accidental alter-ego – reproduced above and present in many race results last year – seem positively sane. So, in the manner of a stern teacher who has had quite enough of this carelessness, it has become our duty to write out the correct spellings of each syntactically-mangled rider, while drawing attention to each comical pseudonym between the inverted commas usually reserved for their jokey nickname. Now where did we put that board duster…

MoDS AND SHOCKERS
One lucky Dynamate who escaped scot-free from this week’s messy name pile-up at the Chertsey Ministry of Defence circuit was 3/4/J race winner ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY. The doctor-in-waiting nailed the sprint with surgical precision thanks to ever-dependable lead-out man JOHN ‘JON’ OLDRIDGE, who also came 10th in Newdigate last Thursday. Mike’s great finish more than made up for his brave, short-lived, two-man breakaway early on in the 80km race – so you can have the London Dynamo Newsletter Result Of The Week Dictionary on us, mate! And triumphant Dynamates sent shockwaves through the south-east cycling scene by bagging more places in the top 10 than any other club, with Hillingdon masochist RORY ‘ROY’ PARK clinching 6th while ADAM ‘HOBBS’ DOBBS nabbed 4th. Now that’s teamwork! The beefy Antipodean seemed to spend most of the race yo-yoing from the back to the front – and despite their well-rehearsed plans, CHRIS ‘MADDOCKS’ HADDOCK couldn’t quite grab the wheel of his Richmond Park training buddy in the closing strait. But the thirsty lad, who was making his return to racing after taking the runner-up spot at the Hillingdon Beginners’ Series back in February, still managed to pull off a respectable 18th place. Have a well-earned drink, Chris – it’s our round! Meanwhile, former mountain biker RICHARD DOLBY entered the 3rd cat world of pain by taking 2nd in the 4/W/J bunch sprint, while his plucky flatmate CHRIS CHAPMAN came 19th. True to form, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL finished 12th in the 50km race after misjudging the final climb – but at least his rear wheel came in handy when PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN got a puncture in the E/1/2 competition. The Merlin-riding wizard was back in the bunch after a one-lap pit stop and he coasted past the line at the back of an eight-man breakaway which included big-hitter Paul Pickup along with the glamorous-sounding Brett Perez. Their names weren’t spelled wrong – the race organisers wouldn’t dare!

REMNANTS OF THE DAY
A notable omission from Chertsey’s starting line-up was TOM HEMMANT, who had chosen to enjoy the warm weather at some sort of social gathering instead of slogging his guts out with flatmates RICHARD DOLBY and CHRIS CHAPMAN. He must be insane! Yet Dynamo’s fast-rising star proved he wasn’t immune to the spate of appellation abominations after he came 4th at Crystal Palace this week. Regular readers will already know that the frequently-misspelled rider has recently been listed as Tom Heuman and Tom Hemnaun on London Cycle Sport. Now, as Dynamette LUCY DOVE and Cyclefit’s JULIAN WALL point out, the same website has reduced him to a mere Tom Remnant in their report on Tuesday’s race. The man himself points out: “I did get offered handwriting classes at school when I was 14.” You should’ve taken them, pal! The Newsletter hopes Tom can stop his name mutating before it becomes Tim Henman. He’ll never win anything again!

IF THE NAME FITS…
The last word on starting-sheet slip-ups goes to Macklin Street fitting Guru JULIAN WALL, who is keen for his Covent Garden firm to get maximum exposure. The Cyclefit co-boss asks: “When members fill in their entry forms could they please make sure they write ‘Cyclefit’ after London Dynamo please.” And that, as they say, was a message from our sponsor!

TRI-ING TIME
Another Dynamate who preferred to live it up on Saturday instead of putting in a good day’s racing was twin-piston powerhouse GUY ‘GARY POUDRILL’ POWDRILL. The towering triathlete, who spent the weekend on a boozy stag outing in the Isle of Wight, is currently in training for the Ironman event in Switzerland on July 25. He reveals: “I estimate a finish time of between 10.5 to 11 hours. It’s going to be a long day of pain.” But Guy appears to be right on course for success in the land of hole-filled cheese after posting a time of 4hrs 38mins in the Weymouth half-ironman, which put him in 31st place in a field of 350 competitors. Lovely stuff! He may want to take a few tips from MARTIN WILLIAMSON, though – Dynamo’s pin-up placed 20th overall out of a staggering 1500 at the Windsor triathlon on Sunday in a time of 2hrs 9mins. It doesn’t get much better than that!

KEN WATCH!
Media-savvy Dynamates are probably well aware of what recently happened to a certain editor when he ran a series of hoax photographs, so we’re going to tread very carefully with this one. If you’re reading this in glorious web-o-vision on the Dyanmo site – and let’s face it, which trend-conscious Dynamate doesn’t these days – then you can decide if RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT’s pic of the reclusive KEN BUIST at Euro 2004 is genuine or a hoax. Quite why the elusive Antipodean would be cycling on a football pitch is beyond us – but then again, this is Dynamo’s famously unpredictable renegade we’re talking about!

BEASTLY BUSINESS
Finally, a quick reminder about Beastway. GUY ANDREWS, who came 12th at Crystal palace on Tuesday, needs another two more volunteers to marshal the MTB race on Wednesday – and he ordered us to “threaten the membership with my wrath if they don’t turn up.” Oo-er! And PAUL CALLINAN says: “I want our club to put something back in not just flood the start line of every race this season.” Crikey! Email martin.budden@symbian.com to register if you would like to help out at Eastway from 6.30pm. You’ll make two grumpy men very happy!

HERE ENDETH THE LESSON
The alarm bell signalling the end of the day’s final period has rung, and already the kids are stampeding away from their desks toward the classroom door. No doubt they are looking forward to getting home and tucking into a hearty evening meal of beans and toast, coupled with a fizzy bottle of pop before the nightly chore of homework. Many thanks for all your contributions this week, and remember – we are the prestigious educational establishment, but we would be nothing without you, our diligent, gifted students. So please send us your news, gossip and sightings of KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. There’s no racing next weekend and the Newsletter is off on its holidays for a week, which means our next issue will be somewhat on the slender side. The deadline – and this is IMPORTANT, so pay attention, class – will be 6PM on SUNDAY, JUNE 20 for the following Friday’s edition. Is that clear, children? And now, as we climb into our beige Morris Minor in the teacher’s car park, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21. In a dramatic “Stop Press” moment, we’ve received intriguing news from GUY POWDRILL tonight which may affect future Parkrides. He reveals: “I was stopped and charged for speeding in Richmond Park – 42mph at the bottom of the descent.” They don’t call him the Engine for nothing! Guy adds: “The PC told me to spread the word to my cycling colleagues that the speed limit must be adhered to or else.” Oh dear! We sense the long arm of the law may not have heard the last of this…

SUNDAY Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and six bags of marbles for each side pocket. WEDNESDAY Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
THURSDAY, JUNE 10, – SURREY LEAGUE HANDICAP, NEWDIGATE, E/1/2/3/4/J, 60KM: 1 Mike Ladbrook (Pearson Cycles) 1:20:45; 2 Anders Christensen (VC Meudon); 3 Geoffrey Lulham (Evans Cycles); 4 Nigel Carpener (Pacific Racing); 5 Scott Bugden (Pearson Cycles); 6 Ken Prince (Pearson Cycles); 7 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon); 8 Neil Whelan (Southborough & District); 9 Andrew Seltzer (East Grinstead); 10 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO); 52 Paul Tunnell (Addiscombe).

SATURDAY, JUNE 12 – SURREY LEAGUE AT CHERTSEY MoD, PROVISIONAL RESULTS, E/1/2, 100KM: 1 Paul Pickup (Liphook); 2 Jamie Higgins (Sigma Sport); 3 Lee Day (Liphook); 4 Brett Perez (Freerider); 5 Andrew Eagles (unatt); 6 Steve Skuse (Kingsnorth); 7 Dave Larcombe (VC Meudon); 8 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 9 Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth); 10 Stuart Heade (Sigma Sport); 11 Chris Parlett (Gemini BC); 12 Dominic Eshellan (Angliasport); 13 Jim Mcmanus (Interbike); 14 Matt Miles (Triangle); 15 John Sadler (Addiscombe); 16 Ed Graefe (Economic Energy); 17 Brett Tracers (Glendene CC); 18 Adrian Goatley.
PROVISIONAL RESULTS, 3/4/J, 80KM: 1 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO); 2 Eduardo Remedios (unatt); 3 Alan Parkinson (South Western); 4 ADAM DOBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Rudie Marais (De Vere Cycles); 6 RORY PARK (LONDON DYNAMO); 7 Colin Bateman (Festival); 8 Ralph Swallow (South Western); 9 Jimmy Finish; 10 Chris Howard (Southboro & Dist); 11 Toni Bond (Worthing Excelsior); 12 Philip Glowinski (V C Londres); 13 Yves Milliere (Kingston Wheelers); 14 Scott Amorv (Gemini); 15 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO); 16 Alan Hainsworth (Beyond MTB); 17 Erol Mustafa (dBennett Training); 18 CHRIS HADDOCK (LONDON DYNAMO); 19 Paul Williams (Bath Road Club); 20 Neal Marrin (Finsbury Park); 21 Wayne Smith (Tri and Run); 22 Graham Kinsey (Farnborough); 23 Andy Mickie (South Western RC); 24 Steve Cave (34th Nomads); 25 Rela Gorjestani; 26 Ian Middleton (Didcot Phoenix); 27 John Leitch (Festival) ; 28 CARLOS CONCEICAO (LONDON DYNAMO); 29 Michael Farrington (VC Meudon); 30 Brian Tidey (Addiscombe).
PROVISIONAL RESULTS, 4/W/J 50KM: 1 Robin Basford (unatt); 2 RICHARD DOLBY (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 Matthew Gallagher; 4 George Thomas (In-Gear); 5 Jon Poynter; 6 Russell Childs (Twickenham); 7 Paul Restall (RV CC); 8 Neil MacLennan (Team Corridori); 9 Dave Pook (Pearson Cycles); 10 Ian Butler (Abergavenny); 11 Anthony Miller (Glendene); 12 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 13 Marek Glowinski (Anerley BC); 14 Brian Thompson (Addiscombe); 15 David Motton (Kingston Wheelers); 16 Ian Collins (Kingston Wheelers); 17 Eric Young (Horsham); 18 John Haschka (Freerider); 19 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 20 Kevin James (Mid Sussex TRI); 21 Nick de Sanda (Kingston Wheelers); 22 Graham Sheridan (Kingston Wheelers); 23 Marc Adam (Freerider); 24 Anthony Fleck (TRI London); 25 Murray Newman (Epsom CC); 26 Eugene Bardwell (Southdown Velo); 27 Geraldine Glowinski (Anerley).

TUESDAY, JUNE 15, CRYSTAL PALACE, E1/2: 1 Simon Cope (Team Edwardes); 2 Roger Morgan (Parrot Print) + 2 secs; 3 Bryan Taylor (VC Londres) + 45 secs; 4 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO); 5 Brett Perez (Freerider); 6 Matt Rugman (Kingsnorth Int); 7 Paul Mill (Team Edwardes); 8 Dave Worthington (VC Prestige); 9 John Sadler (Addiscombe); 10 Nic Cheetham (Dulwich); 11 Matt Seaton (VC Londres); 12 GUY ANDREWS (LONDON DYNAMO), all s.t.

London Dynamo Newsletter #13, 25.06.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #13, 25.06.04

LAYING IT ALL ON THE LYME
Our bags are packed, factor 15 is smeared along the ridge of our nose, and Mrs Newsletter is wearing her favourite kiss-me-quick sun hat at a jaunty angle. All of which can only mean one thing – your favourite four-a-month fumble through all things Dynamoid is about to go on its holidays. Hurrah! And we couldn’t have picked a better time to head for the beautiful British coast judging by the recent dearth of racing fixtures. With all the major players resting their legs for the Surrey League 5-day event, it fell to chiselled hunk MARTIN WILLIAMSON to get some serious miles in by leading a 280-mile round trip – yes, wincing reader, 280 miles – to Lyme Regis on Saturday. Literally several Dynamates will be pleased to hear that the unflappable rider pulled the 11-strong train almost the entire way there – and despite the potential for huge disasters, the entire trip passed without a hitch. The sun even came out as Martin, accompanied by his Thames Turbo triathlon pals and CHRIS CAMPBELL, rolled past Salisbury’s chalk hills on the journey towards the coast. After a mammoth curry feast and an overnight stay in a lovely cottage, the group were joined by ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROYS for the trip back while Rob’s wife Caroline rode behind in the broom wagon. It doesn’t get more professional than that! Six riders – including the three Dynamates, of course – managed to make it back to Martin’s plush Weybridge HQ on Sunday with a little bit of help from a gentle tail wind. The only slight hitch was an impromptu pub visit 15 miles outside of Salisbury after Chris got caught short with a dose of Delhi belly. Damn that chicken pasanda! And that, we’re afraid, is the end of your main course. If you’re reading this on the website, then you should see a pic of Rob and Chris riding from Lyme Regis. If you don’t see the photo, then the gremlins must have got it. In any case, please remember that we are a sturdy sandcastle, but we would be nothing without you, our sprawling, sun-kissed, sandy beach. So please send all your news, gossip, race reports and sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.so.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s issue, which will see the Newsletter return to normal service with The Small Print and lots of racing exclusives. And now, as Mrs Newsletter hauls her enormous backpack onto her shoulders and immediately keels over in a fit of giggles, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a saucy postcard.

WEDNESDAY Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

London Dynamo Newsletter #14, 02.07.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #14, 02.07.04

ONE HELLUVA GUY
It’s a little-known fact that the top floor of Dynamo Towers houses a plush members-only bar which is accessible only to its highest-performing riders – and thanks to an unrelenting run of amazing results in his first season, fast-rising star TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT has now earned the right to knock ’em back at this exclusive watering hole. London Dynamo’s quiet man finished 6th overall in the Surrey League five-day Jaunts event, which gave him enough points to reach the giddy heights of category 1. Cat’s the way to do it! And his fellow Dynamates who took part in the tough 2/3/4/W/J contest also had cause for a celebratory tipple after London Dynamo managed to get no less than five riders in the final GC – that’s more than any other team, fact fans. So pull up a stool, let bow-tied cocktail king RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT show you the pornographic white shorts he gave to Tom as a prize for his efforts this week, and listen on as we drunkenly reveal how the capital’s mightiest club once again proved it’s the best bar none. Here comes the first drink…

PERRY DIFFICULT
With its mainly hilly courses and high pace, the 500km contest turned out to be a little less jaunty than its name suggested. But that didn’t stop Tom, MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON and ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY grabbing top ten spots in the bunch sprints. And, of course, no Newsletter involving Tom would be complete without the modest chap praising others – although he’s outdone himself this time by picking out four people. The first is outright winner Ed Perry who made life difficult by bringing back many a break – and Tom says of the Isle Of Wight wonderkid: “He’s incredibly strong and only 19, although in our defence he is a former national ’10’ champion.” Let’s hope he doesn’t make another visit to the mainland for a while! Dynamo debutante JOSEPH ‘EAGER’ STEGERS, who nabbed a few places in the bunch sprints, was also singled out for praise. Tom reveals: “He was really strong, did some good turns at the front and gave me a push up a hill after I blew on day four. It got me going again.” Well done, that man! Tom described race secretary PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN as “the most important member of the team” as he provided home-made muffins, courtesy of his wife, along with champagne and beers after the last stage. But who was the other team player who impressed Dynamo’s newest 1st cat rider? Let’s have a look at our notes… Hold on – this can’t be right! It’s… KEN BUIST!

KEN WATCH!
This is unbelievable! Wily warrior Ken has spent most of the season developing his reputation as Dynamo’s puzzling enigma – but for five extraordinary days, the south-east cycling scene’s Greta Garbo cast off his veil of mystery to become the most communicative and active member of the team. Tom reveals: “Far from being his elusive self, Ken was highly visible in the pack, either attacking or shouting at people for not working in the break.” This sort of thing is just not on – he has an air of mystique to cultivate! Tom adds: “Ken was in a really promising break on the last day which might have seen him climb into the top five on the GC, but it was brought back.” At least that should shut him up for a while. Just kidding, Ken!

IT’S A NO-NO FROM YO-YO
While Ken’s reputation as a shadowy maverick has taken a knocking, it’s good to see that one tradition remained firmly in place this week. That’s right, Dynamates – Tom’s surname was misspelled on the results for all five Jaunts AND the general classification, which is surely a new world record. Hemmant was listed throughout as “Hemant” – and, rather excitingly, the subject of wrong names has led to the Newsletter receiving its first official letter of complaint! Irate Antipodean ADAM ‘STROPPY’ DOBBS, who was disappointed with the appellation attributed to him in issue 12, fumed: “HOBBS!? What’s that all about? Surely you can do better than that!” We certainly can, mate! But as some readers may recall, the Newsletter didn’t make up “Hobbs” or any of the other Dynamates’ bizarre pseudonyms for that week – CHRIS ‘MADDOCKS’ HADDOCK, JOHN ‘JON’ OLDRIDGE and many others were all present and incorrect on the results sheet for the Surrey League race at Chertsey. Blame the race organisers, not us! Nevertheless, we’d like to make up for any offence, so we are more than happy to adopt Adam’s suggested nickname of “Yo-Yo” as a tribute to the brave boy’s favourite tactic of launching a series of insane attacks which usually end with him falling back into the bunch. He used this technique in the final kilometre of the Martin Newell Memorial race on Sunday, which ended with him taking 15th while RORY ‘GLORY, GLORY’ PARK came 25th and ANDREW ‘LATE STARTER’ STEVENSON nabbed 31st. Adam reveals that the race was Andrew’s first of the season and saw him playing catch-up after being caught behind a crash on the third of five laps. Cycling can be such a cruel mistress!

BEAST AND WORST
Dobbo also wants the Newsletter to pass on his apologies to Field Marshal GUY ANDREWS for failing to turn up as planned for Beastway on Wednesday. Regular readers will know that London Dynamo’s Captain Mainwaring was looking for plenty of volunteers to marshal the MTB race at Eastway – and he was grumpier than usual when only MARTIN GARRETT and MARTIN BUDDEN turned up. What a poor show! Guy blasted: “We need marshals at events so we get accepted in races. Organisers don’t like clubs that don’t marshal or organise events.” And he doesn’t stop there! The stern Parkride taskmaster adds: “I am not pleased. I will be demanding a better show next time we get asked. Names will be taken. Punishments will be administered. I might suggest we do another night to make up for this – it was a tad embarrassing. Crystal Palace want marshals too – so I will be after you!” Dynamates – you have been warned…

SWEDE TASTE OF SUCCESS
On a happier note, Surrey Hills regular STUART JEFFREYS set out on a whopping 300km ride last weekend with the intention of finishing in under 10 hours – and he completed his mammoth trek in 9hr 51min. Excellent work, sir! Stu was one of 15,000 riders who took part in the Vatternrundan in Sweden – and the hardy Cougar rider reveals: “The conditions were pretty grim. I spent much of the ride just hanging on.” No doubt plucky DAVID SPENCER can sympathise after learning during the weekend that gulping down mouthfuls of Downey Rowing Lagoon “has an adverse effect on your digestive system”. The triathlete newcomer managed a respectable mid-field position at Eton after a haphazard swim, a strong bike and a run marred by “serious stitches from not drinking enough”. Where’s that lagoon when you need it, Dave?

HAVEN’T YOU ALL GOT HOMES TO GO TO?
Russell has brought down the shutters on the bar and he’s now busy wiping down the tables. We hope you’ve enjoyed drinking deeply from the cup of Dynamo, and we ask you to remember that we would be nothing without you, our besht matesh. So please send us your news, gossip, race reports and sightings of KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. And now, as Rusty grabs us by the collar and drags us towards the door, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink and a signed photograph of Keith Butler.

WEDNESDAY Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY, JUNE 22 – MARTIN NEWELL MEMORIAL ROAD RACE: 1 Daniel Martin (Giro CC); 2 Tom Crouch (High Wycombe); 3 George Unsworth (Gloucester City); 4 Troeis Larsen (Twickenham); 5 Yves Milliere (Kingston Wheelers); 6 Ed Unsworth (Gloucester City) 7 John Tuckett (Oxford University); 8 Paul Lloyd (Didcot Phoenix); 9 Dave Creegan (VC Meudon); 10 Matt Higgins (unatt); 15 ADAM DOBBS (LONDON DYNAMO); 25 RORY PARK (LONDON DYNAMO); 31 ANDREW STEVENSON (LONDON DYNAMO); 33 Paul Williams (Bath Road Club).

FRIDAY, JUNE 25 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 1, LADIES MILE, 2/3/4/W/J, 60KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 1:39:19; 2 Simon Saunders (SP Systems) 1:39:19; 3 Gyles Wingate (Principia) 1:40:01; 4 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 1:40:01; 5 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells) 1:40:01; 6 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 7 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 8 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 1:40:01; 9 Rod Saxby (Freerider Cycles) 1:40:01; 10 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 11 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 12= David Kennett (Addiscombe) 1:40:01; 12= Henry Turgoose (Angliasport) 1:40:01; 12= Kevin Davey (Pacific Racing) 1:40:01; 12= Rob Fuller (Brighton Mitre) 1:40:01; 12= Peter Gettins (Economic Energy) 1:40:01; 12= Colin McDermott (Festival RC) 1:40:01; 12= Adrian Goatley (Freerider Cycles) 1:40:01; 12= Darrell Pembroke Freerider Cycles 2 1:40:01; 12= William Bell (Gemini BC) 1:40:01; 12= Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 1:40:01; 12= Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 1:40:01; 12= KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 12= JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 47 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 1:40:01; 70 Mark Hubbard (Worthing Excelsior) 1:53:15.

SATURDAY, JUNE 26 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 2, NORWOOD HILL, 2/3/4/W/J, 120KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 2:36:11; 2 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 2:36:11; 3 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 4 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells) 2:36:11; 5 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 2:36:11; 6 Mark Creary (VC Meudon) 2:36:11; 7 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon) 2:36:11; 8 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 9 Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 2:36:11; 10 Thomas Eichholtz (South Eastern) 2:36:11; 11 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 12 Alan Parkinson (South Western) 2:36:11; 32 ROB TUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 38 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 42 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 43 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 45 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 49 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:36:11; 71 Alan Denman (Crawley CC) 2:55:12.

SUNDAY, JUNE 27 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 3, OCKLEY, 2/3/4/W/J, 110KM: 1 William Bell (Gemini BC) 3:05:11; 2 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:27; 3 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 3:05:31; 4 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 3:05:31; 5 Seth Kay (unatt) 3:05:31; 6 William Thompson (Pacific Racing) 3:05:31; 7 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells) 3:05:31; 8 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:31; 9 Ian Taylor (Sunderland Clarion) 3:05:31; 10 Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 3:05:31; 16 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:53; 17 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:05:53; 34 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:06:24; 38 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:06:31; 43 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:06:42; 62 ROB TUBBS (LONDON DYNAMO) 3:07:34; 73 Martin Snow (East Grinstead) 3:15:03.

MONDAY, JUNE 28 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 4, BLETCHINGLY, 2/3/4/W/J, 100KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 2:42:02; 2 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon) 2:42:02; 3 Ian Taylor (Sunderland Clarion) 2:42:02; 4 Simon Jackson (High Wycombe) 2:42:02; 5 Martin Hulbert (VC Meudon) 2:42:02; 6 Stuart Heade (Sigma Sport) 2:42:02; 7 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 2:44:34; 8 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 2:44:34; 9 Colin McDermott (Festival RC) 2:44:34; 10 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 2:44:34; 16 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 17 Alan Parkinson (South Western RC) 2:44:34; 18 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 19 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells) 2:44:34; 20 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 25 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 29 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 34 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:44:34; 54 PAUL CALLINAN (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:54:38; 61 Richard Varian (Epsom) 3:20:00.

TUESDAY, JUNE 29 – THE JAUNTS, RACE 5, KIRDFORD, 2/3/4/W/J, 110KM: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 2:36:14; 2 Frank Sanz (Pearson Cycles) 2:37:30; 3 Stuart Heade (Sigma Sport) 2:37:30; 4 Neil Linford-Relph (VC Meudon) 2:37:30; 5 Lee Oliver (Tunbridge Wells) 2:37:30; 6 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 7 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 2:37:30; 8 Desmond Gayler (Kenton RC) 2:37:30; 9 Mark Northover (Halesowen) 2:37:30; 10 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 2:37:30; 15 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 18 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 40 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 50 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 51 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 58 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 2:37:30; 63 Mario Manelfi (Freerider Cycles) 2:43:27.

THE JAUNTS – FINAL GENERAL CLASSIFICATION: 1 Ed Perry (SP Systems) 12:39:17; 2 Ian Taylor (Sunderland Clarion) 12:41:15; 3 Stuart Heade (Sigma Sport) 12:41:31; 4 Marcus Brueton (Norwood Paragon) 12:41:43; 5 Simon Saunders (SP Systems) 12:43:16; 6 TOM HEMMANT (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:43:43; 7 Craig Peter (VC Meudon) 12:43:47; 8 William Thompson (Pacific Racing) 12:43:47; 9 Seth Kay (unatt) 12:43:47; 10 Mark Sussex (Tunbridge Wells) 12:43:47; 11 KEN BUIST (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:43:47; 12 Mark Simmonds (Kingsnorth International) 12:44:03; 13 Kevin Tye (Poshbikes.com) 12:44:03; 14 John Saddler (Addiscombe) 12:44:09; 15 JOSEPH STEGERS (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:09; 16 MARTIN WILLIAMSON (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:09; 17 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:15; 18 Adrian Goatley (Freerider Cycles) 12:44:24; 19 Peter Gettins (Economic Energy) 12:44:24; 20 Tony Reeves (Worthing Excelsior) 12:44:24; 27 MIKE DEBNEY (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:44:58; 40 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) 12:54:33; 46 Liam Terry (Southdown Velo) 13:46:03.

London Dynamo Newsletter #15, 09.07.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #15, 09.07.04

PELO-GONE
A mouth-watering array of delicious dips is arranged on our coffee table, Mrs Newsletter has got her hand thrust deep into yet another pipe of Pringles and the distinctive tones of Sean “Salut!” Kelly are droning out of our television. All of which can mean only one thing – this year’s potentially historic and possibly quite fattening Tour de France has begun. But while the Newsletter lazes around in its cosy, purpose-built bunker watching stage 5’s rainy trundle from Avens to Chartres on Eurosport, literally several Dynamates are preparing to follow in the pedal strokes of the pros by taking part in Saturday’s Etape. As a result, Dynamo’s presence in this weekend’s domestic pelotons will effectively disappear – and with most of our have-a-go heroes in the tapering stage of their Etape training this week, it was down to one thrilling threesome to show a bit of Dynamo dynamite. So settle down on your sofa, reach for your processed potato-based snacks and let us be your virtual TV coverage from glamorous Clarendon. Here comes the guacamole…

BANGERS AND CRASH
Who needs malt loafs, oat bars and pasta? Certainly not fast-rising star TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT! Dynamo’s quiet man used the no-nonsense British banger as the basis for his pre-race fuelling session on Saturday night – and his barbecue feast with flatmates RICHARD DOLBY and CHRIS CHAPMAN helped Dynamo to become the highest-placed London team at the three-up national time trials on Sunday. Pork of the net! Tom had a slippery Jan Ullrich-style crash on the final corner yet still managed to notch up a time of 1hr 11min 40secs with his team-mates GUY ‘CAPTAIN MAINWARING’ ANDREWS and ‘WONDER’ WARRICK SPENCE, which is the fastest any incarnation of London Dynamo has negotiated Clarendon’s hilly 50km circuit. Guy said of the team: “It was a good combination – youth, experience and a race horse. We only had 20 minutes in the warm-up to sort out our formation, so it was even more satisfying to know we could go a little quicker with a bit more practice.” Isn’t an average of 26mph good enough for you, fella? The triumphant trio, who reached 48mph on a descent in Petworth, had the fastest time with more than half of the teams past the finishing line and it took an impressive line-up from Liphook Cycles to knock them off the top spot. Dynamo eventually placed 12th, beating the much-fancied Evans “A” team – and Guy chortles: “That’ll please our sponsors!” But no race report involving the club’s grouch-in-chief would be complete without at least one gripe, so here it goes: “Tom only put his tri-bars on his shonky Ribble the day before. Note to sponsors – fast rider needs faster bike!” You heard him, Cyclefit!

NO EX-SPENCE SPARED
And let’s face it – if super-stallion Warrick can get two new bikes from the Macklin Street maestros, then promising colt Tom should get one as well. That’s right, jealous Dynamates – Covent Garden co-boss PHIL CAVELL has revealed to the Newsletter that the crafty Kiwi will have a couple of gorgeous machines waiting for him when he returns from his homeland. What a result! Despite coming first at this week’s Eastway “10” and winning the London Dynamo Newsletter Of The Week Carbon Bottle Cage in the process, “Wonder” Warr reckons he has seen a slight decline in form, so he’s sacrificed his place on the Etape for a rest period in New Zealand. But he promises to be back soon to launch another devastating assault on the premier calendar. Malcolm Elliott won’t know what hit him!

SHOW’S OVER
The credits have rolled, the ads have come on, and Mrs. Newsletter is wiping the last drop of salsa dip from her mouth. We hope you have enjoyed our “live” coverage, and we look forward to welcoming you back next week for more thrilling action. Remember that we are an excitable Phil Liggett, but we would be nothing without you, our mild-mannered Paul Sherwen. So please keep sending us your news, gossip and sightings of KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. And now, as Mrs Newletter reaches for the “off” button, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES
SATURDAY The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink and a leash for ADAM ‘YO-YO’ DOBBS.

WEDNESDAY Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
SUNDAY, JULY 4 – RTTC 2004 TEAM TIME TRIAL CHAMPIONSHIP, CLARENCOURT, 50KM: 1 Blue Sky Cycles (Charles McCulloch, Stuart Shawcross, Craig Simpson) 01:06:39; 2 Planet X (Kevin Dawson, Mark Lovatt, John Tanner) 01:07:27; 3 VC St Raphael “B” (Rowan Horner, Wayne Levet, Andy Lyons) 01:08:53; 4 Stourbridge CC (Richard Bradley, Barry Charley, Gavin Pardoe) 01:09:29; 5 Blackburn & District (Carl Helliwell, Ian Stott, Dave Ebbrell) 01:09:45; 6 Alcan-Sunchemical-Bianchi (Neil Coleman, Nigel Polkinghorne, Greg Sandy) 01:09:51; 7 In-Gear RT (James Louter, Peter Tadros, Sean Yates) 01:10:00; 8 VC St Raphael “A” (Mark Wareham, Simon Berogna, Malcolm Cox) 01:10:13; 9 Liphook Cycles (Lee Day, Peter Kench, Paul Pickup); 01:10:20; 10 Team Bradgate (Richard Hunt, Jason Rozee, Jeff Snodin) 01:11:28; 11 In-Gear RT “B” (James Dear, David Pollard, Jon Sharples) 01:11:40; 12 LONDON DYNAMO (GUY ANDREWS, TOM HEMMANT, WARRICK SPENCE) 01:11:48; 12= Science in Sport.com “B” (James Davies, Matthew Hodges, Pete Saddler) 01:11:48; 14 GS Stella “A” (Mark Sinnott, Mark Jones, John Limpus) 01:12:34; 15 Evans Cycles RT “A” (Jody Crawforth, Chris Birch, Justin Hoy) 01:12:50; 43 South Western RC (Gary Smith, Bill McCombe, Dudley Samuels) 00:51:27 01:35:42 19.478.

TUESDAY, JULY 6 – EASTWAY 10-MILE TIME TRIAL: 1 WARRICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO) 22.32; 2 T. Ofstad 23.15; 3 J. Cocker 23.27; 4 A. Brown 23.40; 5 M. Antsey 24.23; 6 J.Griffin 24.32; 7 S. Dennison 24.32; 8 G. Bridger 24.34; 9 A. Griffiths 24.40; 10 MARTIN BUDDEN (LONDON DYNAMO) 24.55; 11 G. Holland 25.10; 12 S. Griffiths 25.29; 13 K. Jenns 25.45; 14 R. Simpson 25.46; 15 S. McKenzie 26.04; 58 K. Smith 36.26.

London Dynamo Newsletter #16, 16.07.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #16, 16.07.04

A PLEA IN YOUR EAR
It is a truth universally acknowledged in the media world that no publication can achieve the mantle of greatness until it pulls off a pioneering campaign – and with this in mind, your caring Newsletter is launching a major crusade which is just as important as sending toys to Romanian orphans or fifth-rate comedians to “entertain” squaddies in war zones. No-one who heard RUSSELL ‘REVOLUTION’ SHORT’s impassioned speech to the Dynamo ranks at the end of last week’s Parkride could fail to be moved by his plea for each member to do their bit among the wider racing community. So come, kind-hearted reader, as we embark on the campaign trail. Here comes the battle bus…

THE DUTY DOZEN
…and Hillingdon is our first stop. Let’s not beat around the bush, Dynamates: the Tuesday series needs YOU. Lots of members have been amassing mountains of points at races all over the south-east – but that’s simply not enough! Rusty and ‘GUVNER’ GUY ANDREWS are warning that race organisers will exclude London Dynamo from future events if more members don’t start marshalling. That’s harsh, flinching reader, yet it’s true! So here, as they say, is the deal. The club is organising a race at Hillingdon on Tuesday, August 10 – that’s Tuesday, August 10, if you want to pencil it into your diaries this very instant – and the Newsletter is issuing an impassioned appeal for 12 marvellous ‘Mos to become marshals for the evening. Racing begins at 7.15pm and you may even get to ride down the Uxbridge Road with Guy as he recalls with a sneer the number of riders he has recently seen wearing socks pulled up beyond the regulation 20mm mark. If that’s not an incentive, we don’t know what is! It could also be your chance to finally meet up with your Dynamo hero and exchange tips on cleat/pedal axle interface after reading about his or her adventures in this very organ. To take part in what many are already referring to as the marshalling event of the season, simply send an email to news@londondynamo.co.uk with “DUTY DOZEN” in the message body and we’ll forward your name to the top floor of Dynamo towers so they can send you more details. Go on – you know it makes sense!

KITS LIKE A GLOVE
But it’s not all work, work work, y’know – the event will also provide the opportunity for dishy Dynamodels to show off yet more stylish clothing from the House of Dynamo. That’s right, people – following an official Newsletter visit on Thursday, we discovered that Cyclefit co-conspirators PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL and JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL have received yet more cracking kit. Having tore open four huge boxes of club-branded Lycra, we can exclusively reveal that the consignment contains 100 pairs of short-sleeved jerseys and shorts along with quite a few gilets plus a number of short-sleeved skin suits. That’s enough for an army, not a cycling team! We nabbed the first sizzling skin-suit from the box and its sexy, snug fit has been attracting admiring glances from Mrs Newsletter all evening. Now there’s a lady with great taste!

ST FLOUR POWER
While chatting with Phil about our dashing uniforms, the style-conscious bike fitting guru also mentioned that ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY should have got a best dressed rider award when he rolled up to the Cyclefit stand at the start of the Etape on Sunday. The pony-tailed peddler was in his dashing Dynamo gear – and his gleaming Merckx Team with its Record groupset perfectly complemented the slick look. What a smoothie! Rob also proved he’s got power as well as style by polishing off the massive 237km stage from Limoges to Saint Flour in 8h 47m 32s. He reveals: “It was a Dynamo sprint finish for the all-important 1054th position” – and sadly, CHRIS CHAPMAN pipped him to the line. Dammit all! Rob adds: “Thanks to Chris for dragging me the last 20 miles and congratulations to all the other Dynamates who took part.” The Newsletter will have a full round-up of London Dynamo’s performance in the Etape once we hear from ALEX ‘BIG AL’ BALFOUR, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT plus countless others who are taking a well-earned break this week. And undeterred by his team-mates mass exodus to France, ‘GENTLEMAN’ JOHN OLDRIDGE provided Dynamo with its sole domestic appearance this week when he finished 3rd at the front of the bunch at Crystal Palace on Tuesday. Here’s hoping he has some Dynamates to keep him company next time!

END OF THE ROAD
The night has drawn to a close, the furry dice have been taken down and we’ve driven our battle bus safely back to the Dynamo Towers car park. We’ll be re-fuelling until next Friday, when we’ll be increasing our drive to get those all-important 12 Dynamarshals. Always remember that we are the hard-working driver, but we would be nothing without you, our careful map-reader. So please send us your news, gossip, kind offers of help to marshal at Hillingdon on August 10th and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for the following Friday’s edition. And now, as we thrust the nozzle into the tank, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and Richard Virenque’s “medicine bag”.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY JULY 13, CRYSTAL PALACE CIRCUIT RACES, 3/4/W/J: 1 Hayden Brook (Catford); 2 Alan Male (De Laune CC) +1m.20; 3 JOHN OLDRIDGE (LONDON DYNAMO) +1m 26; 4 Graeme Langhorne (Gemini BC); 5 Karl Brooks (34 Nomads); 6 William Thompson (Pacific RT); 7 Gormley (McQuaid Tyres); 8 Phil Jones (Dulwich); 9 Max McCalla (VC Londres).

London Dynamo Newsletter #17, 23.07.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #17, 23.07.04

HAT’S THE WAY TO DO IT!
It’s rare for cyclists to achieve a certain level of intimacy in a public place, so you can imagine how thrilling it was for certain excitable Dynamembers to throw caution to the wind this week and candidly reveal themselves without shame. That’s right, blushing reader – eight racy Dynamates met in a pub on Wednesday and, for one naughty night only, removed their crash-hats in front of each other. It doesn’t get any more shocking than that! In fact, there was not a pair of wraparound shades or lycra bib shorts in sight as PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL, MARTIN GARRATT, PAUL HARKNETT, TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT, NICK PEACOCK, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, and REBECCA STUBBS watched Lance’s historic victory on Alpe d’Huez over a few enjoyable drinks at the Duke of York in Theobalds Road. The social event of the summer was held to celebrate Paul flogging the first items in our new consignment of cracking kit earlier that night – and your ever-supportive Newsletter will be doing its bit to publicise our terrific togs with a series of blatant plugs in this very issue. So come with us as we tear into the four heaving boxes taking up huge amounts of floor space in Cyclefit. Here’s the first sexy skinsuit coming your way…

HE’S THAT TAPER GUY
…or it will be if those Macklin Street maestros happen to be in. Twin-piston powerhouse GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL raced down to our sponsor’s Covent Garden HQ on Friday evening after the Newsletter tipped him off about the latest kit delivery – but the towering triathlete was outraged to find the shop shut, even though he had arrived before their advertised closing time. There’s gonna be words! And there was further disappointment the following day when he drove CHRIS ‘CALAMITY’ CAMPBELL down to Chertsey, only to be told by Surrey League supremo Keith ‘I’ll get you’ Butler that all the races had been cancelled due to a lack of first aiders. So the debut of the delectable Dynamo skinsuit, draped over Campbell’s questionable physique, was unfortunately postponed. It must be the Curse of Powdrill! Yet the cocksure swimmer’s luck improved 24 hours later when he took 4th at the Brighton pier-to-pier race in a field of 300 sea-lovers. Water result! Guy, who readily admits to being “anal” about household chores, won £25 in Argos vouchers which he has vowed to spend on a new ironing board. And the ironing man will become an Ironman this weekend for the mammoth triathlon event in Switzerland. Despite his hectic race schedule, Guy assures us he has technically been in the tapering stage of his training for the arduous event, which comprises 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike (gulp!) and a 26.2 mile run. We wish you the best of British, sir! Meanwhile, DOMINIC PAUL proved to be another big cheese in Switzerland when he came 21st overall in the European Triathlon Championships in Lausanne on July 3rd, notching up the 8th fastest bike split and nabbing 7th place in his age group. He also came 11th overall and 3rd in his age group at the Welsh National Championships at Pembrokeshire on June 26. Grateful Dominic, whose next race is the London Triathlon, gushed: “Thanks, Dynamo, for helping me with that winter training on the bike – it’s really paying off.” All part of the service, pal!

ETAPE OF THE CLASS
The merry band of Dynamates who congregated at the Duke of York on Wednesday night were delighted to see ALEX ‘BEEFY’ BALFOUR pop in for a flying visit. The big man had come to pick up his expensive mobile from Paul after leaving it in Cyclefit. What a silly sausage! Balfie also dropped the Newsletter a line to let us know that he survived the Etape, finishing in just over 10 hours, and he met many a dynamique Dynamate along the way. Big Al reveals: “Some tosser nicked my water bottle from the seat cage in the first half hour. It turned out to be TOM HEMMANT and I spent the next 90 minutes holding his and CHRIS CHAPMAN’s wheel. Then came the serious descents and I lost my metaphorical bottle. I stayed very quiet when I was discussing descents with some non-Dynamo London riders after one asked: ‘Why did all those people hug the side of the road instead of taking a racing line?’ That was me, trying to avoid death. I overtook precisely two riders all day on the descents and must have been overtaken by at least a thousand.” But for every downhill there’s an upside, as Alex admits: “Pushing fairly hard, ignoring my heart rate and carving up the peloton in matching Dynamo kit was an utter childish joy.” That’s the spirit, mate! The oar-some rower also informs us that STUART JEFFRIES finished 40 minutes ahead, and PIERS STANSFIELD has passed the Newsletter a note to say he was “buggered” after clocking a time of 9h 5m. Any more Etape times and tales of daring descents would be greatly appreciated – simply email news@londondynamo.co.uk and we’ll wrap up all of your French adventures next week. But for now, the final word goes to Alex. He confesses: “I almost joined the official peloton through Beauvais when I sneaked onto the course as the last cars went through, but I got a bit of stage fright. Some of the crowd were cheering for me and others were giving me looks of commiseration for being dropped.” Cheeky buggers!

IT DOZEN GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS
Back in good old Blighty, our pioneering campaign to get 12 marvellous ‘Mos a-marshalling at Hillingdon on Tuesday, August 10 has got off to a flying start – but we still need more volunteers. So email news@londondynamo.co.uk with “DUTY DOZEN” in the message body and we’ll pass your name onto the Dynamo management. We MUST do our stint of marshalling, Dynamates, or race organisers will begin excluding us from races. It really is as simple as that!

KEN WATCH!
He’s back! Or is he? The ever-elusive Antipodean sent a text message to PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN this week which read: “Sitting by the pool having a beer. It’s a hard life.” He could be in Bournemouth or the Bahamas, for all we know! Any information on his whereabouts should be electro-mailed to news@londondynamo.co.uk. We know it’s a long shot, but isn’t it always where Ken’s concerned?

THAT’S IT – WE’RE CLOSED
We’ve sold our last pair of bib shorts for today and PHIL ‘NO NONSENSE’ CAVELL has ushered out the last few punters clamouring to buy our devilishly handsome uniforms, which you can pick up from Cyclefit. As long as they’re open. Call first, would be our advice. We’ll be back next week – and until then, remember that we are a sturdy winter Windtex gilet, but we would be nothing without you, our versatile all-weather jersey. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of mystery man KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as Phil tootles off down Macklin Street on his dainty Brompton, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and Robbie McEwan’s water bottle.

WEDNESDAY

Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
…is absent, principally because all the Dynamo big hitters planned to race at Chertsey until it was cancelled. Hopefully we’ll have better luck next week!

London Dynamo Newsletter #18, 30.07.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #18, 30.07.04

SIX OF THE BEST…
There’s nothing Mrs. Newsletter enjoys more than a good thrashing – and there were tearful scenes in our soundproof bunker this week as a big mean fella delivered the whupping of the century. That’s right, wincing Dynamates – Lance Armstrong’s mercilessly executed sixth Tour De France victory made the first lady of the Dynamo Towers basement sob for joy. There wasn’t a dry eye on the sofa! Even Sash, the unofficial Newsletter cat who pops in from next door, was shocked to see her pal screaming encouragement at the TV as the Texan chased down Andreas Kloden at Le Grand-Bornand during the thrilling climax of Stage 17. What a hero! It’s all over now, of course, but we hope our final instalment of dynamique Etape tales helps you, our Tour-crazy readership, to imagine that the greatest race on Earth has been magically extended for one more stage. Ready? Here comes Jean-Marie Leblanc’s official race car…

…AND 12 HANDY MEN
But before the race gets underway, your weekly chronicle of all things Dynamoid would like to remind everyone that there is still time to register for marshalling duties at Hillingdon on Tuesday, August 10. There’s been a flurry of interest on the website forum and you can still join the marshalling event of the season by sending an e-mail to news@londondynamo.co.uk with “DUTY DOZEN” in the subject heading. Remember: Dynamo riders will start getting turned away from races if the club doesn’t put in an effort. And if you pitch in on the night, then you’ll also get to ask devoted ‘Mo GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL about his titanic effort at Ironman Switzerland on Sunday. The twin-piston powerhouse, who eagerly signed up to help out at the regular Tuesday night event, finished 312th out of 1600 in the king-sized triathlon. For reasons best known to himself, Guy booted his bed before jetting off, which didn’t do his right foot any good at all, and he felt nauseous after eating too much too quickly during the 112-mile bike section of the race. But a strong swim put him in the top 50 by the time he was out of the water and finding a steady rhythm for the 26-mile run earned him a finishing time of 10hrs 53mins. Well done, sir! On the same day back in Blighty, fellow tri hero MARTIN WILLIAMSON achieved a spookily neat personal best of 2hrs 2mins 2secs at the Milton Keynes triathlon, finishing 13th at the Olympic distance race. Dynamo’s chiselled hunk also came 9th overall at the Helvellyn Triathlon in the Lake District on Saturday, July 17th, clocking up 3hrs 59mins 47secs – and Martin reveals: “The run was up a proper mountain. I had to use my hands to pull myself up some bits of it and the top was in the cloud with a visibility of less than 100 meters.” That’s not running – that’s mountain climbing! Talking of which…

A MASSIF EFFORT
Our biggest report from the Massif Central comes, appropriately enough, from ‘BIG ED’ RAYNARD – one of Dynamo’s loftiest riders. The man with a Cannondale the size of a penny farthing camped out in rain-soaked Limoges with his dad, who almost managed to blag a six-grand Serotta from PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL and JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL at Cyclefit’s stand in the Etape village. Good try, pal! Unfortunately, Ed’s campsite buddy Eric fell victim to the 30km elimination stage – and his misfortune is a warning to anyone thinking of making their debut at the event next year. The big man explains: “Eric’s start number was 8000 and something and he had the dreaded broom wagon biting his derriere. The poor soul also punctured at 20km – but he said he’d be back next year for more punishment.” That’s the spirit! Incidentally, ALEX BASTIN also had a visit from the puncture fairy and the Newsletter has still to hear from him. Hope you made it to St. Flour, mate! But it was Le Puy Mary which proved the biggest challenge for Ed. He reckons that “75 per cent of riders were walking with their shoes off, staggering 2km to the summit” – but the huge climb, which came 110 miles into the journey, didn’t get the better of our man. Ed finished in 10hr 35min – “including a ridiculous 1hr 10min of breaks!” – and said the day was “one of my most memorable life experiences”. He adds: “My favourite memories will be of the crowds lining the roadside from the start to the finish line, cheering strangers giving out food, bands playing music, and much vin being consumed. All very emotional.” DAVID NORRIS, who narrowly missed out on a silver medal with a time of 9hr 11min, described it as a “fantastic day” with “amazing scenery, crowds and roads – there are no potholes in France!” And MARTIN ‘THE BEARD’ BUDDEN, who finished in 8hr 16min, got really carried away with the emotion of the day when he gushed: “I rode with a 53-38-30 and 12-25 but could have done with an 11 on the descents. Next year I might try 50-38-28 and 11-23, depending on the climbs.” It doesn’t get any crazier than that!

WOT NO CHAPMAN?
Sneaky CHRIS CHAPMAN, who wants to cut his flatmate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT down to size, has also hatched a crazy plan this week. The 4th cat minnow revealed that he’ll compete with Dynamo’s fast-rising 1st cat superstar at Beastway – and he has a secret weapon for the MTB race. Chris confides: “Tom only has one gear. I have 27.” There’s confidence for you! Results of Wednesday’s event have yet to reach the Newsletter bunker, but hopefully the organisers will do a better job than the Hillingdon officials, who had “C. Chadman” in 10th place in the 4/W/J race. The influence of Mr Hemmant, who has had more misspelled entries on finishing sheets than any other Dynamo rider, is finally paying off!

KEN WATCH!
This one’s a belter! Eagle-eyed Aussie CRAIG THOMPSON spotted elusive Antipodean KEN BUIST at 1am on Saturday in a Notting Hill nightclub – and he was “supposedly on a date”! Craig reveals: “Ken was wearing a tight black vest and jeans. He was with an attractive brunette.” Sounds promising! Could this be the same lady who accompanied Ken on a recent visit to Sigma? Our mole adds: “He was talking up a four-hour training ride that he was planning to do when he got home from the club. But the vest must have worked a treat as they left well before closing time.” What a smoothie! But what kind of ride did he go on the following morning? Was the brunette involved? Or did she find his downward-pointing stem a disappointment? Any answers, as usual, should be sent immediately to news@londondynamo.co.uk with “KEN WATCH!” in the subject heading. This could be the start of a beautiful relationship!

END OF THE ROAD
The traffic bollards have been collected from the middle of the Champs Elysees, the Star Spangled banner is ringing in our ears and our feet are crying out for a massage after hours of standing pressed against a barrier. The Tour will return in a year’s time, but your eager Newsletter will be back in just seven days. Until then, always remember that we are the fabled cobbles of Liege, but we would be nothing without you, our glorious Alpe d’Huez. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we ask a helpful gendarme the way to the metro, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and a big green PMU hand.

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
TUESDAY, JULY 20, BC WEST THAMES CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, 4/W/J 45KM: 1 Tariq Lear (Thames Velo); 2 J. Howes (Hillingdon Slipstreamers); 3 C. Stucker (unatt); 4 J. Schubert (Verulam CC); 5 H. Vivian (Finsbury Park); 6 G. Pettit (Hillingdon CC); 7 N. Robertson (Addiscombe); 8 G. Kerr (21st Century Airports CC); 9 G MacMillan (Kingston Wheelers); 10 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 11 C Fyfe (2-Team RC); 12 CHRIS CAMPBELL (LONDON DYNAMO); 13 P. Murrell (Finsbury Park).

London Dynamo Newsletter #19, 06.08.04

November 21, 2010

London Dynamo Newsletter #19, 06.08.04

FIVE…
…minutes were all that lay between him and certain doom as he stood at the foot of a mountain in a glamorous foreign location, desperately hoping for help to arrive. And now, like a thrilling episode of a certain 1960s puppet-based drama serial that has just been turned into a movie, with film posters designed by none other than Dynamo’s very own RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, the Newsletter can reveal how ALEX ‘BUSTED’ BASTIN was rescued in the Etape after becoming stranded at the 55km mark. Loyal readers will already know that ‘BIG ED’ RAYNARD spotted Alex with a puncture – so we were anxious to learn if he managed to complete his arduous adventure. Now the mystery is finally solved! The man himself has confirmed that he made it to St Flour, despite getting his rain jacket caught in his rear brake, locking the rear wheel and burning a three-inch hole in the tyre. Alex adds: “I had a 40-minute wait for Mavic assistance to pitch up with the cheerful news that the broom wagon was only five minutes behind. It turned into a very hard, long solo effort to the finish 183km away – but at least I didn’t walk up the Puy Mary!” Well done, that man! With that awe-inspiring story safely concluded, the Newsletter can finally declare that our tales dynamique du Etape est finis, as the French almost certainly do not say. Now it’s time to turn our attentions to matters closer to home, as there are just…

FOUR…
…days to go until London Dynamo hosts what many clubs are calling the event of the summer – and your response to our pioneering campaign to get 12 ‘Mos a-marshalling at Hillingdon has been impressive to say the least. There’s still time to join the ever-growing army of volunteers, so bang out an email to news@londondynamo.co.uk with “DUTY DOZEN” in the message body if you fancy helping out with this Tuesday’s races at the west London circuit. The Dyna-management will send you all the details – and you might even get to witness elite superstar WARRICK ‘SPEEDY’ SPENCE tearing up the opposition in the E/1/2/3 race, just as he did this week on his “awesome” brand-new Serotta Legend Ti ST. You’re gonna get some jealous stares, pal! And as Warrick nailed 2nd in the rain-soaked race, up-and-coming Dynamo CHRIS ‘CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN opened his BCF points account with 3rd place in the 4/W/J competition. Always keen to shine the spotlight on others, Chris’s flatmate TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT reveals: “He was in a break and was unlucky to only come third. There was some confusion over when the race finished as it got a bit mixed up with the E/1/2/3 race. Chris led the other two all the way down the back straight as they thought there was another lap to go.” Another brilliant piece of Hillingdon chaos! Meanwhile, on the other side of town the very same night, Tom found out that bad luck really does come in groups of…

THREE…
…when he hit the deck at Crystal Palace. It was his third crash in a row, leaving him in “a bit of a mess” and forcing him to cancel a knobbly-tyred showdown with his pal Chadders at Beastway the following evening. Everyone at the Newsletter, including Mrs Newsletter and Sash the Unofficial Newsletter Cat, hopes he’s not too badly damaged. The Parkride just isn’t the same without his pimpin’ white Dynamo shorts! But for now we’re going to wipe away the painful thoughts of road rash and lift the mood with a heart-warming story of…

TWO…
…very lucky people who were joined in matrimony last weekend. Literally several Dynamettes will be heartbroken to hear that Cyclefit hunk PHIL ‘NO-NONSENSE’ CAVELL tied the knot in Windsor on Saturday. Congratulations, mate! Dynamo’s elder statesman is currently honeymooning in Tuscany with the lovely Donna – and in his absence, Phil’s business partner JULIAN ‘WONDER WHY I BOTHER’ WALL has come up with some exclusive special offers. Here’s the little man himself to smear the grubby hand of commerce all over our romantic tale. Take it away, Julian! “Thanks, Chris. Available exclusively to London Dynamo members for at least a fortnight, Cyclefit is giving away a sexy shoe bag with every pair of Carnac shoes purchased. These beautifully-constructed cordura shoe carriers are a must-have accessory this summer. And Carnac Equinox shoes are reduced from £130 to £94.99 for a limited period only at Cyclefit – plus you get the FREE Carnac shoe bag. Equinox have the same ratchet retention system as the Matrix shoe (price £150) and are also very stable and supportive. They would also make a good winter training shoe, preventing your white Quartzes from turning a horrible shade of grey by November.”
Alright, alright, pal – you’ve made your point! Speaking of which, disaster-prone Danger-mo CHRIS ‘HOSPITAL’ WARD only needed…

ONE…
…point to get him a 3rd cat licence – and he was amazed to pick up two at Dunsfold last Wednesday. The Dynamate famous for his “creative” bike handling skills was kept well out of harm’s way after the E1/2/3 race split from the 3/4s on a climb. Chris soon found himself clawing his way to the finish on his own with 50-odd miles to go and contemplated throwing in the towel – but thankfully the international man of leisure stuck it out and took 9th. He didn’t even know he was in the running for a place!

THUNDER ‘MOs ARE GONE!
Our moderately amusing Dyna-monologue has once again rescued the somewhat serious south-east cycling scene from a sense of humour failure. With our mission complete, all that remains is for us to climb into our nuclear-powered Thunderbird 3 and blast off to the TB5 mothership, where PAUL ‘VIRGIL’ CALLINAN is monitoring distress signals from grimacing Richmond Park cyclists who are desperate for a few laughs. We’ll be back next week for another episode – so until then, remember that we are your trusty, dutiful Parker, but we would be nothing without you, the Brains of the operation. So please send us your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as Paul flicks a switch that opens the docking bay hatch, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
The Parkride. Richmond Park, Roehampton Gate, 9am. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. There’s a bit of a change planned for this week. After last Saturday’s huge turnout, the Dyna-management has decided it is becoming increasingly impractical to congregate on the pavement. So from this Saturday, we’ll be meeting in the car park next to Roehampton Gate. Keep an eye out for more details posted on the forum – and, as ever, anyone who wants to lead a group should leave a message at http://www.londondynamo.co.uk/forum/viewforum.php?f=21.

SUNDAY
Hampton Court bridge, 9am for Surrey Hills ride. 50ish miles at a steady pace. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and… a massive surpise! The mysterious KEN BUIST got a huge round of applause when he made an unexpected appearance at last week’s sweltering ride. And guess what the position-obsessed perfectionist spent ages discussing with PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT? That’s right – the adjustable stem on Paul’s Pinarello! That’s our Ken!

WEDNESDAY
Richmond Gate, Richmond Park, 7:30pm. Steady two-hour ride to Surrey and back.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

London Dynamo Newsletter.

THE SMALL PRINT
TUEDAY, JULY 27, BC WEST THAMES/SLIPSTREAMERS CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, E/1/2/3, 65KM: 1 Tony Gibb (Plowman Craven RT); 2 P. Crook (Angliasport/Condor RT); 3 B. Crawforth (Evans RT); 4 V. Halpern (Twickenham CC/Evans); 5 A. Rigg (PrestigeVC/Viner); 6 M. Wilmott (Tm Quest/The Bike Shop); 7 M. Bruce (unatt); 8 M. Quill (Team Milton Keynes/Corley); 9 RUSSELL SHORT (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 C. Denman (Beyond Mountain Bikes).
4/W/J: 1 Chris Salt (Kingston Wheelers); 2 H. Vivian (Finsbury Park CC); 3 J. Gatenby (PM); 4 A. McIntyre (RNRMCA); 5 G. Pettit (Hillingdon CC); 6 N. Robertson (Addiscombe CC); 7 Jessica Stoddart (Interbike RT); 8 J. Nicholls (Thames Velo); 9 HUGO CANO (LONDON DYNAMO); 10 M. Slaney (Westerley RC); 11 N. Wragg (High Wycombe CC); 12 N. Robertson (Oakham CC); 13 O. Peleg (Sport And Publicity); 14 M. Philpot (Hemel Hempstead CC).

WEDNESDAY, JULY 28, SURREY LEAGUE/TWICKENHAM CC CIRCUIT RACE, DUNSFOLD, 3/4, 54 MILES: 1 Gary Fry (Team Quest); 2 A Lambert (Team Economic Energy); 3 Hugo Robins (Archer RC); 4 Neil MacLennon (Team Corridori); 5= P. Martin (Easterley RC); 5= Colin Bateman (Festival RC); 7 Martin Snow (East Grinstead); 8 Richard Varian (Epsom CC); 9 CHRIS WARD (LONDON DYNAMO).

TUESDAY, AUGUST 3, BC WEST THAMES/HARP RC CIRCUIT RACE, HILLINGDON, E/1/2/3, 60KM: 1 Lewis Atkins (Ciclos Uno); 2 WARWICK SPENCE (LONDON DYNAMO); 3 J. Stewart (London Irish); 4 R. Morgan (Parrot Print); 5 M. Wilmot (Team Quest/The Bike Shop); 6 D. Hair (Ciclos Uno); 7 R. Fallon (Addiscombe CC); 8 P. Gettins (Economic Energy).
4/W/J, 45KM: 1 Tom Smith (Twickenham CC/Evans Cycles); 2 N. Robertson (Addiscombe CC); 3 CHRIS CHAPMAN (LONDON DYNAMO); 4 G. McMillan (Kingston Wheelers); 5 C. Bradbury (Palmer Park Velo); 6 A. Khandenwal (Addiscombe CC).